It is one in the morning,
My eyes open,
It never fails.
No amount of cotton clouds
Or sheep to count
Can send me back to dreams
Yet to be dreamed.
Nothing else can make me drift,
For I am now wide awake.

Down the stairs I quietly walk
Careful not to waken the others,
Lest they stir from their ongoing snore-y visions.
Straight to the kitchen, I tiptoe,
Make myself a mug of hot, hot coffee,
So I could start
reading,

Taking in a mixture of
Glorious, mad,
Magical, loving,
Happy, groping,
Sad, vengeful moments....
But internalizing all these emotions
Takes its toll...
I stop: it is time to write of
My own moments of glory...
Which incidentally,
Rhymes with...momentary,
Poetry, dignity,
Love-ly, friend-ly,
Complexity, celebrity,
I could go on and on...and
There is only one...
One exceptional moment
That comes to my mind:
One unforgettable, bittersweet autumn...

My mouth, my lips now parted,
My stare, undirected,
Dreaming~~~drifting...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just arrived in Neverlandia!
Swimming through its endless,
Imaginary, intangible seas
Where I am alone
Where I am free
Free, to be with
My intangible one true love
Only there can we hold hands
Only there can our eyes meet
There, where we can stand,
Or sit so close
Breath against breath
Flesh against flesh
No words spoken,
Just eyes talking
No moment wasted,
For no one dare ask or tell the time
In Neverlandia.
~~~~~~~~~~
In such a wondrous journey
I also have acceped:
At the start and even in its midst,
Comes twinges of apprehension
And sadness
That unsettles my heart, my mind,
Thinking outrightly of the
Inevitable end of said journey.
Fleeting, the moments seem,
I must travel back.
~~~~~~~~~~
I ***** for that imaginary switch, and
With a heavy heart,
I turn it off.
~~~~~~~~~~

It is suddenly so cold...
I stretch an arm to reach for
My hot, steaming drink...
Oh, but it has become
A mug of cold, cold coffee!
I border on "mad,"
Lost thoughts now swimming in anger.
Have to chase back my muse,
Refresh my memory
Poem is almost done.
Have to regain
My mind's composure,
Have to ensure
My life's composure.
I need, I need my Panacea
This early morning... yet, I'm
Afraid of that same old question:
"But....where are you?"

~~~~~~~~~~

Sally

Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

I know I cared
I'm sure I did
For it had to exist
For me to now feel the absence of it

It's hard not to lose sight in pain
When it seemed any gain came at a loss
Looking at what remains
Weighing up your kind nature as its cost

Used to be someone you could call upon
But now I'll turn you away
Outrightly tell you to *******
Cause I have nothing left to say

And it hurts me

In fact today it made me feel ashamed

Yet I still maintain I need some space

Lone wolf creation, a one horse race

But when a nation
Becomes isolationist
You better hope those bonds within
Don't come loose or snap
Cause when a nation
Becomes isolationist
There might be no coming back...

**Together

Forever, Endeavour, Our Women, Our Men

Cast Away the Pain or become a Cast Away in Pain

Again and Again

you say you care
you act like I should trust you
everyone else does
everyone else loves you
why would anyone not
and I want to
I really do...
but I can't forget
and I just can't forgive
you watched me get torn apart
and yes I made some mistakes
maybe I should've kept my mouth shut
but I didn't and I'm  sorry
but the way you sat by
letting them slowly **** me with words
lies that you watched them string together
and I even asked you for help
just to tell them the truth
and you outrightly denied me
and I know you apologized
but you apologized because you felt you had to
not because you understood
if you could just understand how awful it feels
to be alone
people torturing you with lies they know nothing about
and feeling like it's all your fault
and theres nothing you can do
because no one is in your corner
no one cared about me enough to even try and help
because you've never been hurt like that
and you just don't understand why it affects me so much
but thats why it affects me... because you don't
and how can I trust you when you say you care
how can you possibly care about me
when you've caused me so much pain
and I want to believe you've changed
but you just don't get it
and I know it makes sense
and maybe I should be over it
forgive and forget
but I can't
and until you understand why
I'm not sure I ever can
and it kills me
because I really want to trust you
but I just can't