I don't just mean smoking **** or doing any other drug. I mean, doing
things for yourself and making yourself happy. Allowing yourself to be spontaneous. Go outside and play in the rain, go on drives and play the music loud, and sing the songs even louder. Love with all your heart and don't allow fear to hold you back from the things you want in life. Shut out that voice in the back of your mind that says, “you aren't capable” or “you're not good enough.” Focus on what gets you high. For guys, is it winning the big game? and for girls, is it looking in the mirror and having the confidence to smile without a doubt in mind? My belief or concept begins with the way you look at life. It's built on perspective.

For me, getting high is doing things that I love to do. I get “high” off cosmetology. I get high when I flip the cape off of my client and turn them to face to face with my work, and they smile. I made them feel beautiful, and in-turn made myself feel proud of my work and confident in what I love to do.

For me, I get high off the examples I was provided as a child. Not the examples of what I was supposed to be like, but the ones I wasn't. I have used my birth moms poor life example as my inspiration of what not to be, and have made steps and strides my entire life to be the opposite of what she had shown me was acceptable, because of her I have become who I am today.

Everyone deserves to have those moments of allowiong yourself to be able to stick your hand out the window letting it flow up and down naturaly with the wind, and allowing yourself to forget the pain and disappointment of whatever you are dealing with at the moment in life. Forget what you wanted but couldnt have, and forget that the boy you like has no idea you even exist.

For me, I believe everyone should watch the sunset at least once in their life, and then watch is rise.

Life is an evolving  journey
as we see and breath naturaly
Days taken in stride from moments
riding on the tide
Theres nowhere left to hide from
Time the unforgiving ride

Inside my head there is a place
awaking the purpose to write
like incisions on a platter of a golden sizzor
Cutting in time wasted where it could be used in skills practice
to free a prisoner of rest
Like legos we stack purpose
And speeches never frail
There are times of a nothingness
for ink flows and poetic thoughts
yet naturaly words yell at my window for spills

a welcoming and re-entering

Paving for my souls exertion
editing exact details
carrying in a song in my psalms

I dont live in the gift
the gift lives in me
touring like a concert to sooth
or even to feel
Like a record playing on repeat
This is my mental obsession

© S.T. Rebel of Eden

Where there once was peace and quiet
there's now an unbearable silence
I want to go back when
I didn't have to count to ten
to calm myself and all the pain
Not sure how I am still quite sane

Insanity would probably
be beneficial, naturaly
I'd just scream and shout and take a leap
Would that finally sweep me off my feet?
And stop my regrets playing on repeat?
Why do I have to get to the point of retreat
everytime someone makes their lying eyes weep?

All I want is something good and true
But everytime I try to look it's another you

The you that lies
with watery eyes
The you that cares to hold
my hand until it gets a little bit too cold
The you that tries hard to see the real me
to turn away as soon as I feel comfortable to be
The you that makes me look like a fool
to find out what you didn't want you just needed a tool
The you that wants to smother me all over
til I feel safe but you tell me I've only briefly been your four-leaf clover
The you that comes and goes as it pleases
leaving me sick and weary from all the diseases

you left
in my mind and heart
that's always the part
where you go and make room for another
to start the cycle anew, someone else to smother
my heart with thick heaviness
my mind with distrust, seeing always less
through the fog of disbelief
where I stand trying to retrieve
all that has been broken away from me
to swallow the bird of wisdom and talk myself into being free

But the bird is always dying
coming back but never flying
Still I keep it safe, protect it with my life
Together we will always strive
One day to release
This you and me will cease

it won't tell you
how to be
it simply expects
you to know it
naturaly
and it may
knock you around
if you find
a way other
than the expected.

As I sat way above the lower valley
I admired the mountain that was there
Down it's sides tall pines grew lower
As if upon a maiden her longest hair

The colors on it's face smiled in sunlight
As clouds passed it gave expressions true
It's soul lived since days of so very old
Yet to this day seduced viewers old and new

Natures seasons had dressed her accordingly
A mountain of deepest thoughts of memory
Silently it had seen generations as they grew
Never telling of what it knew of passed or to be

I sat looking at it in total admiration of view
So beautuful within it's being yet as if also wise
A mountain that diserved credit for it's beauty
A natural pleasure to all soul mind and eyes

I gave it the name of all things naturaly created
I think of my thoughts of it there it surely knew
I called it “ ALL THINGS MOUNTAIN “
It danced among it's trees as mountain winds blew

terrence michael sutton
copyright 2018

I've failed myself before
and I failed myself again
Now there's nothing more I can do
but endure all this pain

I thought it was just a mistake
I can get over with
But it's not, it's a choice that I made
and I need to embrace it

In this journey called life
there are many bumps along the way
You might fall, cry, suffer
but never dismay

For this things shall come
to an end eventually
Remember, a rainbow comes
after the rain naturaly