Insecurities are poisonous to a child's mind
It causes so much negativity in themselves that one day, death is the only thing positive left.
And it's not like that whole
"Oh Romeo, let me drink this poison to fake my death in order to be with you."
No, It's more like,
"Oh Romeo, I'm so FAT AND UGLY LET ME JUST USE THIS DAGGER IN ORDER TO
END MY EXISTENCE"
And it's definitively not that whole "Teenaged Angst" psychologists come up with
It's more like society's baby food is starting to poison it's children.
You see,
Not so long ago society started this whole standards issue on how girls and boys are supposed to look like
Girls are supposed to have that hourglass figure where regularly eating is considered being a ******.
And where anerexia is the new cover of beauty magazines.
And guys are never supposed to cry,
Because tears are a sign of weakness and not how strong they've been holding those weights in.
And guys who are always on the cover of men's magazines are those muscle headed jerks who treat women as if they were mere objects
You see,
According to society
That whole lesson on "Be Yoursellf" is just a myth because being yourself is a sign of ugliness
And to trule feel that sign of beautty is to wear the mask of another.
And not so long ago,
I used to think like that.
I used to have those grey clouds in my head because there was always that one negative voice telling me I wasn't good enough
That no one wanted to be near a horrible existence liek me.
All those compliments like
Pretty
Beautiful
Unique
And Cool
Turned into insults like,
Ugly
Hideous
Plain
And Stupid
This whole negativity turned into a game of darts,
Where I was the target and te insults were knives
And it got to the point where I thought sweet ever lasting afterlife seemed like the only way out.
But because I'm the type of person who over thinks her actions,
Something like suicide never played out.
Days went by,
And all those pretty compliments turned into ugly insults,
And it seemd like that glimmer of hope wasn't going to come shine down through the dark clouds.
Even that game of insult darts,
Was trying to aim its knives at my heart.
Then...
One day,
I looked into a mirror
And I finally saw that pretty girl everyone was talking about
Those grey clouds in my head finally cleared up and showed Mr. Sun.
Those knives aiming for my heart turned into cherry blossom petals dancing in the wind.
Even those insecurities the negative voice pointed out,
Turned into compliments, perfections, and even beatifications
You see,
Insecurities can poison a child's mind
But,
It's up to the child to use it as a leathel weapon or an antidote for life long lessons.
Looking back on that self reflecting day,
I have learned to turn those imperfections that once kept me down into perfections that can hold my self esteem high up.
And I've learend that
I am terribly afraid of being someone other than myself.
So,
Livingup to society's standards of a female no longer worries me.
Because
The only standards I should worry about are the ones I make for myself.
And
Insecurities should no longer be apart of that.
Insecurities for little old me.
