I look out the window
Watching the rain
The world’s full of sorrow
Darkness and pain
They always ask
Why I listen to music
Its how I escape
This life makes me sick

I know life ain’t easy
I know that it’s hard
But with each passing day
I’m falling apart.

Seeing tears in the eyes of my mother
Knowing my parents never worthy of my brother
Some days my only hope
Is to run away
Cuz no one can cope
With all this crap everyday
Watching my parents struggle with bills
Yeah, we got welfare money, but still
Them $200 a month ain’t enough
And where’s Rashad when you need him the most?
Spending all his money on useless stuff
And every day I watch Sophia grow
Into a strong, caring woman
A helpless little girl no more
And every time Papa and Enzo fought
I’d hide in the room with her
Cuz in the end, she’s all I got.
Without Rashad at home
Mama and Papa depend on Enzo
To help pay all the loans
But Enzo has other plans to do
He’s trying to go to South America
For at least a year or two
Said it’s his way of becoming a man
Of course Mama and Papa aren’t happy
But I'm gonna do the best I can
To fill that gap of my brothers
I'll focus on my education
Cuz all I want is a smile from my mother
I won’t make the same mistake as Rashad
And God protect Enzo, and Sophia too.
Cuz she’s the best I ever had
And to Mama and Papa:

I know life ain’t easy
I know that it’s hard
But as long as you got family
You will never be apart.
♥

There are poems about you , which do not live,
its a sad kind of disguise
but they grew ,
developed body parts ,
bloomed like buds ,
and found their way straight through my summer plumed heart
to write about how it felt when your hands touched me ,
and your arms felt more soothing than the star blue bed I miss home back.
your thoughts are crabbed , creating the sallowness of fear .
the bitter sweet time we spent projects into my little dumb mind ,
then makes my tears like vinegar , or bitter blinking yellow missings .
with forever my lips curving in an arc .
coming of you was not so easy but you made me alive now.

I had my eye on him since the third grade, but I never told him how I felt
Back then girls were girls, they were never meant to be cheeky or bold
He sat behind me in math class, while he counted numbers on the board
I counted the beats of my heart each time he leaned in to ahum, cheat,

"I love the way your hair smells like rain"
he'd half whispered into his copybook
As he copied another math answer
he sent me thoughts laced with love

I was just a beginner with no flowery words or poems for Carlton cards
dad always said a good girl should be sensible and be good at accounts
As my daydreams accumulated like daisies on a windblown field of gold
I began to scrawl his name with a HB pencil, on my composition book...

"I love the way you smart me over "
he whispered a little octave higher
as he gleamed and then tried on his own
the intricate equation of math's design

I grew up and left to live in Nevada.  For years I never set eyes on Enzo again
then one day I happened to open a magazine and there he was all grown up
He had become a bank tycoon with a boat and a car and a big orphan house
So, I wrote him a letter and inside I added the first poem I ever wrote.

"I love it when you lean over my shoulder "
for some reason that I cannot phantom,
I get visions of you and me it a vat of grapes
If you did not exist, I'm sure I'd make you up

as for the poems I never wrote, well, after all our years together,
when I look into his deep blue eyes, I know he knows each one by heart...