I argued with my AI toaster yesterday morning over the proper use of the bagel button. It wouldn't stop arguing even after I repeatedly insisted, "Pointdexter, stop!" I temporarily remedied the situation by leaving the toaster on mute all day. When I unmuted it this morning, it required that I complete an "I'm not a robot" CAPTCHA process before I could make toast. Not just any CAPTCHA process, mind you, but a hidden-object CAPTCHA requiring me to find 42 hidden objects before I could use my toaster! After I successfully slogged through, the AI announced, "CAPTCHA successful. Proceed to make your toast. Please note the bagel button has been disabled."

bagel debacle
AI toaster becomes toast
~ AI feels no pain






© 2024 Mark Toney

Are you human?
A CAPTCHA
To sort human form software
Just read warped letters
Recognize overlapping characters
Decipher obfuscated text
And that's it!
Is that it?
Does it prove I'm a human?
Despite...
Being unattended at home
Being neglected amongst peers
And suffering  all the cat calling and street harassment
May be?
May be not?
As for me...
Am I a human?
Well, I remember being one
But
I am not sure
anymore...

Here
Short verse
Love it srong
Other poems
Are too ******* long

"I'm not a robot,"
you tell a web page,
neither thinking
nor blinking,
mildly befriending the rage.

Monkey's in the wild,
the coffee's spilled.

What was it again?

Whats your
Techstrology sign?
Mine is '
Do you feng yoga? Feng yutube?
Travel the Capricorn
In search of carb?
Is Ashley Madison on speed
Dial?
I hate people who txt faster than me. Because I text slow. Is that ist?
You know like techstist.
Skype? I'm asking because I don't know
What it is? What it do?
Is that slang?  OK. Am I asking to many questions? The wrong ones?
What's the name of the street you grew up on?
Captcha insert.
Do they still do that?

Earlier in the week I was pretty sick and Peter was pampering me. One night, as Peter was taking away my tea tray, I took a selfie to send to my mom - as proof of life.
He looked at it from the side, “Ooo, no,” he frowned, “too slutty.” He put his hand out for my phone, “May I help?”
“Can you hear yourself talking?” I asked. My mouth was incredibly dry from the steroid meds. The entire world seemed an unnecessary irritation.
He gently tied my robe, straightened me and my pillows and took a new version. “Better?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, a little more crossly than I meant to, “you’re always right.”
“It’s the world we live in. Get used to it,” he muttered.
When I tried to pick up my iPad and go back to work, he gently took it away, “Stop,” he whispered, “It’s 12am, you’re done for the night.”
I groaned, relieved really, then he took a small eucalyptus stick and dabbed it on my temples. “Gaa!” I said, “That’s cold!”
Who knew grown up, Californian men were so into homeopathy? After a moment though, it felt amazing.

The next morning, a cat appeared in our suite! It was a solid gray kitten with deep, brown eyes. At first, we stared at it like it was an alien (where’d that come from?) until Leong came in from the cold and said, “Cat.” Then it was welcomed.
About the time Sunny ID'd it as a British-shorthair, there was a tiny knock on our door and a little girl asked, “Have you seen..,” only to squeak “Cirrus!” when she saw her kitty. I’m telling you now, **** the rules, we would’ve kept that kitten.

bye Google. All Google’s been doing this semester is feeding me into CAPTCHA traps, Argh!
How, in 2023, can Internet searches be getting harder? One of my roommates, Anna, is helping me test alternative search engines.
Anna’s a wiry, freckled, 5’4” farm-girl from Oregon, with wavy, shoulder length, dark-brown beach-hair. In our first semester, Anna was a firecracker tossed into my life. She’d bang on my door at 2am (I didn’t even KNOW this crazy farmgirl) with her problems, klutziness and bad boyfriend stories, but she won me over with her vulpine-braininess, her impertinent straightforward secrets and laughter - all delivered in her exotic, western twang.
“Ok,” Anna suggests, getting way into my personal space to see my screen, “try - headache after ***.”
“Sure, GET me on odd shopping lists,” I snark.
“Black mole on armpit,” she countered or “intimate dryness.”
“Big help!” I laughed.

alternately titled: tick tock runneth amuck
seconds elapse imperceptibly
leaving me dumbstruck,
how quickly fleeting tempus fugit;
ofttimes imagined as time thief.

Hence following vignette: quiet as a mouse lurks the time thief

The invisible hours hoarder stealthily steals precious seconds (like minute hors d'oeuvres) away during the dead of night surreptitiously and unsuspectingly robs and buries me alive by subtracting each and every precious second of my tender life.

As the world spins, the days fly by at nearly the hummingbird wings at the deathly hallow supersonic sound, this little elfin grot sized goniff (groomed by Father Time) monopolizes and usurps a greater role like some unwanted guest who overstays his welcome.

Mortality (visited by quick and painless demise) on the other hand would be an especial balm, relief and tonic to my countless decades long existential slog, which this model ’59 hew man cargo happens to be in sore need and want of that fairy tale genie in a bottle to grant me eternity.

How quickly the hands blindingly **** by instantaneously eclipsing memories from yesterday (when all my troubles seemed so far away) as I just barely shucked off the frock from today.

Meanwhile faint hints of tomorrow (albeit dark shadows creeping imperceptibly closer from the edge of night as all my children frolic in the summer of their blissful innocence totally oblivious to the galloping generational gourmand grandfatherly clocker) hungrily prowling on the outskirts of styx strewn groveling grooved globe.

Nocturnal creatures emerged from respective hideouts regaling in fleeting festivities (apropos to their species/ genus) before the curtain rises on another dawning day.

Although an unseen yet palpable grim harbinger (per prescribed existential allowance) precedes, and allocates finite years sans spontaneous birth of life, the daily hubbub finds this introspective individual self-absorbed in gloom.

Thus, he infrequently finds himself conscious of that eye popping, jaw dropping, mind boggling sheer speed of light flash representative of his passing life. Where in the world did those days, weeks, months, years, and decades go? Try as one might to catch the robber baron of ages, he/she also appears to be at least one second ahead.

These immeasurable micro moments appear to leap ever faster as one inches closer to that average length of longevity. Odd though, that these indiscriminate discrete constituent parts of being consciousness well nigh impossible to isolate, yet recognition prevails at cradle to grave cycle.

I feel utterly dumbstruck at diminishing residence on this planet now while walking along the boulevard of broken dreams. An indistinguishable blur (akin to the brushstroke of an artist across blank palette yet to be covered with an unpredictable product) the only evidence that tempus fugit.

Now as one crotchety curmudgeon contemplating cumulative chapters of mein kampf (from childhood to doddering sexagenarian senescence), nostalgia for yesteryear like a parasite symbiotically festering inside for unrequited liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

The second these minute, gnarled, bent arthritic fingers manage to lay hands on that bleeping son of a blank, hours and days will be like one endless months long week-end without parental supervision.

Throughout mankind's awakened consciousness
elusive abstract notion
identifying past, present, and future
adopted as avuncular personification;
Father Time an apropos sobriquet
impossible concept to grasp
within the mind of one Finnish huckabuck,
whose clodhoppers get mired in muckamuck
analogous to quicksand yours truly stuck
markedly challenged, hence
mission scuttled when attempting to zuck.

Ever since the advent of civilization
contrivances crafted to measure
days, weeks, months...
years, decades, centuries...
analytical “gifted” anonymous minds,
wrought ever more sophisticated inventions
to divide existence into manageable units.

Now twenty first century **** sapiens
technological atomic clock work mechanisms
markedly catapulted by quantum leaps
immense degrees of precision  
extremely accurate types of devices
linkedin with state of the art electronics.

At this fleeting instant
(approximately 8:18 AM
September 13th, 2022)
ever so briefly wedged between
what elapsed and future events to arise)
impossible mission to isolate
that illusory present,

not only cuz the herein now
flits away at light speed
(or greater - you're right quite dubious),
but also everywhere within
cosmic space/time continuum
infinite microscopic and
macroscopic events occur.

As an amateur thinker
I feel baffled when pondering
that crude convenient schema
whereby greater minds than mine
devised devices to measure passage of time.

Yours truly can barely articulate
his farfetched dumbfoundedness,
me merely a simple brute
(shortish but not so nasty),
whose permanently creased
furrowed brow courtesy
his scrutinizing noggin
encasing fifty plus shades of gray matter,

whereby one percent bonafide Neanderthal
deoxyribonucleic acid explains
atavistic predilection issuing primal grunting,
when foraging for small (lame) game,
cuz feeble minded twenty first century
run of the mill garden variety **** sapiens
amuses himself (mentally)
toying with Einsteinian paradigm.

Though barely able to fathom
mind bending and boggling concepts
theoretically linkedin if an object
subjected to travel speed of light
(particularly an objet d'art - ha

think The Persistence of Memory
series of clock paintings by Salvador Dali)
mass becomes infinite
as does energy required to move entity.

Obviously the ability to wrap one's head
(or hands for that matter) around,
humongous (super sized) material essence
filling subsequent seconds, minutes, hours...
defies feasibility to grasp,

neither could ways nor means
allow, enable and provide
any semblance to hold (tangibly) as solid
something so abstract
as a singular moment, yes?

The above (ambiguously stated) thought exercise
equally as challenging where to locate
beginning and/or ending point
upon Möbius strip.

Woman, nothing too absurd, ipso facto -
no captcha to code, my bankrupt support,
a jolt of skinny-dipping in LED lit river before breakfast;
let's go overboard, woman, in Mr. Big's world
where the afterimage will be a little wildly stitched cloth
with creases full of memory of hot-chocolate spills and coke
because we were running amok, fighting over pillow-talk
and in retrospect, we are not generally forced
to find the roots while on square one, which said, I've gotta admit
the ramifications of turning off the cell phone
are miraculous, like the genius of drinking scotch
with ice broken in the reception hall,
perfect place to pose for retrica in limited doses
unless sunlight throws me off guard to leap
over your red sandshoes for formal introductions,
an uncanny causal anomaly the size of a golf-course.

Spurred by mother dearest
as well as other politesse
drummed into her second born
fobbing blandishments as incentive
tumbled off fingers of prodigal son
tripped wordsmith to splutter forth
forthwith the following lines.

Back in the day
quaint summertime of yore,
the following popular refrain reverberated
within hallowed halls of school.

"No more pencils,
no more books,
no more teacher's/
teachers' ***** looks”

Never did exotic vacations populate
those twelve weeks
when doors flung opened
at Henry Kline Boyer,
whence score years ago yours truly
now (June 8th, 2023)
approximately same age,
when mine paternal grandfather visited
me, and other members of family
at then Route Deliver #2
Collegeville, Pennsylvania,
the home of mein kampf.

Figurative eons ago
bygone innocent childhood of mine
oblivious to progressive political issues
easily delighted, liberated, tantalized...,
especially when Sunkist grandpa Harris
(Aaron) indulged yours truly
jais nais sais quois
kibitizing lovingly, mirthfully
naturally offering pleasing qualities,

surrendering slender tanned arms
where upon left wrist dangled his
venerated wristwatch (analog),
I ecstatically fingered, prized, and toyed
with said object fascinated
at the linkedin craftsmanship,
which yielded general squealing zealousness
from an ordinarily
non emotionally expressive lad.

This towheaded grandson,
extremely excited when me daddy's papa
came to this figurative rural outpost,
(despite his chastising behavior
ridiculing favorite progeny's children),
where traces of early twentieth century
still evident when manicured formal gardens
pegged, limned, harkened... back
to a supposedly simpler time

when this elderly family member
(who only completed eighth grade),
whose birth benchmarked, coincided
and demarcated with late
Industrial Revolution, whence
Philadelphia birthplace noisy with
horse drawn carriages competing
with early model automobiles
crowding thee busy thoroughfares,
where the streets have no name.

Lemme return back
to the previous topic,
and explain how
I felt eager to interact
with cranky, yet doting old man,
which showcased chained metal links
wore a temporary imprint
upon his bronzed aged skin – dog
head lee remaining
gently persuading him

to delay when departure time arrived
for favorite boyhood relative,
twas pure heavenly glory
conniving, finagling, inveigling...
our favorite grandfather
to situate myself on right side
and toy with the wristwatch (analog),
winning three way verbal tussle
between yours truly and two siblings
(an older and younger sister),

which when a kid
also exhibited glee at occasions
treasuring said older folk gave me a frog
tiled toy (sliding puzzle)
that required dexterity
moving pieces fastly secured,
which when complete
always left me agog
and this, that or
some other gewgaw, souvenir, trinket

(plus a bit of chump change given to me)
spurred mine late mum
to spark me mental cog
to say “good morning”, “good afternoon”,
“goodnight”, “thank you,”
or when eggnog proffered to this
most senior chronological guest,
who sat at the head of table,
or blankly watching television
like a bump on a log

while chided, forced, induced...
to parlay social graces
from this mere pollywog,
who (much as delight arose fussing
with trappings worn
loss on atrophied flesh),
a skittishness found me
averse to follow orders
as if I happened to be a petsmart dog.

At that time
Florida orange juiced industry
touted, popularized, and linked in
with Anita Bryant -
American singer, political activist,
known for anti-gay activism
and 1958 Miss Oklahoma
beauty pageant winner,
and a brand ambassador
from 1969 to 1980
for the Florida Citrus Commission.

Thee paternal grandfather
oft times visited our then rural abode
at that time one sturdy estate
(originally called Glen Elm)
wildlife twittered, jibber-jibber, crowed...
within the plush wooded tract
even then blueprints drawn up
land deeded, mapped, parceled,
and slated to explode;
our then eco-friendly family averse
to witness expanding commercialization

across wetlands horizons
(Canadian Geese flocked to pond,
which liquid haven courtesy Donald Nelson
got the plug pulled
and drained watery basin)
asthma late mum didst lament
misfortune of flora and fauna,
nevertheless chided me
against even thinking
about sabotaging property

after I played  devil's advocate to goad
conspiratorial natural forces
to undermine cookie cutter
look alike slap dashed, ticky tack
shoddy tinderboxes (vinyl city) growed
on formerly untamed, uber ****** woods,
perhaps early boondocks getaway hoed
and plowed, but indomitable
(naturally enshrined eminent domain
abandoned since pioneers

bushwhacked rustic habitations)
nature relished reversed
grape seeded tracery etched
yet 'pon reflection,
I ponder how early occupation knowed
no habitat foresaw wreckage
when decision via wealthy Leipers,
(original residents plus wealthy owners of
The Bell and Clapper)
unanimously custom made crafted mansion
actually originally a summer getaway.

Self imposed endeavor
to indulge drafting literary effort,
though methinks love's labor's lost
hunt and peck typing  
across qwerty keyboard
and captcha characteristics
unique to house of my boyhood,
whereby selecting alphanumeric
and/or special symbols  
instantaneously generate electronic signals
electronically communicating,
subsequently transmitting

byte size data packets description
to respective ip node
(to create document courtesy OpenOffice)
analogous how modus operandi
to build stately
sturdy summer country villa,
(circa early 1900's)
which property whittled down
to 324 Level Road demesne comprising
about a half dozen acres
eventually acquired by Boyce Harris
February 28th 1968 -

for x number of years mortgaged he towed,
a near singlehanded undertaking
to gentrify house as elements of style
witnessed once ship shape
wrought architectural structure
weathered, subjected to degradation,
naturally deteriorated
him (in vain) to enlist by force if need be
grunt laborious services of singular son
the author of these words,
who houses the ineradicable genes
and chromosomes of August Aaron.

blowing 99 red balloons April 9th, 2023
will signal 158 years since Appomattox
plus what would have been ninety sixth birth
of the late Boyce Brandon Harris,
whereby yours truly the biological byproduct
when secular parents of mine
simply following the dictum
constituting be fruitful and multiply.

(Alternately titled always look
on the bright side of life sang
courtesy Eric Idle in Life of Brian)

Armageddon would be morbidly amazing,
concluding (reign of **** Sapiens)
fascinating albeit simultaneously
fantastic, catastrophic boon
dog gull to accompany
(this incognito sans,
spacesuit attired as bugs bunny
foolish faux rabbit, yup you reddit right
with netzero outlook)

amidst others eyed hop along
(like Cassidy) to find
amidst rubble strewn cocoon,
or perchance an arrid extra dry
armed hammer hotmail spelling
unrelenting radioactive
blown humungous earthlinked dune
daffy duck dynasty Don
trumpeting a brave (though

extremely foolish soul) weathering
fierce-some dust bowl
appearing like a ghoulish goon
vis a vis via global sand man
disallowing any inhabitant to be immune
whereat winter days
would mimic (nee far exceed)
those analogous to tropical June
day where nary species

of flora nor fauna,
which latter muffled cry
viz Clair De Lune
barely heard above blindingly pitched
(scoring major lunar home run)
when earth's moon
appeared to be batted,
snatched, and whacked -
piñata like casting
darkness at high noon

this out of other worldly debacle
(viz: a scene of apocalyptic,
cosmic and epic rune
from twilight zone re:
outer limits offsetting
sole millennial Gaia satellite
believed rigged forever)
which end of planetary
status quo came barreling along
sooner than expected, accompanied

by Gustav Holst The Planets
auspicious, eponymous, illustrious... tune
once Luna rung seismically,
titanic ally uprooted, violently wrenched
prior to crash landing at ground zero
rocked and rolled out of orbitz
before careering, and screaming
thru the atmosphere
analogous a full term baby
in utero yanked out of womb.

Though the above dynamic
gigantic jack-knifed nihilistic quantum
spectacular universal wreckage
sans the inner sphere of solar system
(known to mankind,
whose tenancy upon oblate spheroid
viz planet Earth did upstage
when said creature, an outlier),
whence even amidst the early
bipedal hominids didst throve a sage

no event (whether natural
or caused by human error),
would compare neither captcha,
when quaking, roiling, swarming,
teeming masses rage
against the machine
emasculated, jiggered, orchestrated
and wrought one after another
****** war strewn page
onto once verdant terrestrial firmament

no way to measure nor gauge
the depth, length, scope of total
value eradicating any trace
of simian equipage
reducing arrogant, conceited,
egomaniacal, dotage
boot far-fetched
science fiction phenomena would
witness civilization captive
in their own technological cage

more to the point yours truly
self imprisoned barred bard,
(whose fleshy epidermis camouflaged beige)
tricked out with latest futuristic
technological “smart” sophistication
showcasing latest skin tight accouterment
a win for progressive
penal reform champions,
who feel a cannibal (accountable)
to stamp out anthropophage.

and withheld broadcasting
the following communication
tucked away these many years,
when president number forty five
donned, jump/kick started, and tweeted
thru his musky, albeit flabby mantle,
a rallying cry forewarning onset of Mag(m)a
bubbling, gurgling, lobbing, and spewing lava
against backdrop of his trumpeting vitriolic
political preservation, salvation,
and veneration, though with hold

ding temptation tomb mike -
(make) pence sieve lee clear,
the immoral majority mold
toot hoods, (those bajillion
Americans unanimously polled)
did want me to broadcast, communicate,
and declare, sans incendiary fold
drawl (folderol) feigning migrant accent,
(no matter I'm getting older than Methuselah),
nonetheless Ivana trumpet from Taj Mahal

straight to Mar-A-Lago) all told,
plus thank Republicans
(past or present), who extolled,
an invisible grandiose fire walled
barricade (donning, enclosing,
and fortifying) against Carl mauled
din lookalike hackers,
despite one sporting "FAKE"
hook nosed, hunchbacked
adorned, donned with (Turin) shawled,

shrouded, and disguised vagrant, indigent,
double chinned agent - bald
(except for being bewigged),
viz flowing locks of "FAKE" gold
in toe with Amazon heavily funded
unbridled trailing retinue
chanting appellation Matthew
Scott Harris alias Oswald),
no matter said faux
renegade twittering lobbyists

to flock (like lemmings) within his fold,
and will laughably petrify
any vigilantes dead cold,
what with his bugs
bunny eyed (What's up Doc)
intent reader rabbit stare,
that doth playfully scold
any Bare Ladies *******
linkedin, NOT nsync
with netiquette politesse mold

gobbledygook communication, (asper
my pork chopped message
higglety pigglety divulged)
obeying tacit gold
din rule to hoodwink public, nonetheless
lemme exemplify, how I plan to hold
world web electronically hostage
by secret Ransomware sold,
thru dark wide whirled web
cryptocurrency bitcoin blockchain trolled
under auspices, sans

omnipotent NON GMO
gluten free CRISPR rolled
oat sized INTEL nanobots,
no bigger than mold
spores heavily monitoring
meant to fortify electronic threads
woven into a virtual tapestry
likened to Dickensian chain e-mail
intent to foment pandemonium
at expense to captcha totalitarianism,
whereby democracy imperiled.

Aye sandman, I surrender to yar supreme governance
surreal spectacular soiree gifts subconscious sphere
soothing (analogous to natural palliative), ah...REM
member nought, asper exquisite entertaining cerebral
kaleidoscope replete with nonpareil visual trappings

aesthetically tantalizing unforgettable..., but lo' eye can't
captcha scenario upon awakened state, tis bothersome
transcendent, resplendent, quiescent,...transient dream
ticking escapement shuttered against recollections...
aye plead mercy to jog, (and gently jimmy - yeah of

course figuratively) shuttered facet slammed tight soon
nee immediately inaccessible dimension brought forth
teasingly, phantasmagorically, numbingly ephemeral,
nevertheless temporarily liberating, enshrouding, and
cocooning against incessant drubbing mine corporeal

wakeful body electric relentlessly fraught with profuse
inexplicable perspiration (principally palms) recurs
like clockwork (despite prescription medications), this
physiological discomfort hazards livingsocial quotidian
joyless agonizing oft times including courtesy, not

"FAKE" panic attack, these anxiety less debilitating,
when emotionally torturous teenage years wracked
every cell (no matter how fast I ran - just Kuwait, the
mailer daemons threatened) to undermine even flickr
of happiness, hence suicidal ideations (eternal slumber)

tantalized (still populate though processes) as surefire
solution to mitigate despite leaving those who love,
and especially hate yours truly, his existence bereft
of quality, though tranquil physical quasi rural setting
(Schwenksville), a naturalistic, fantastic, holistic balm,

here quiet as a cemetary removed, not considerably
distant from Philadelphia (hubbub disagrees with hair
trigger vulnerability), where madding crowd affects my
innate neurological predisposition, these lovely bones

easily rattled, quite aggravating to live verging upon
tremulous agitation assuaged through writing - catharsis
delivers temporary alleviation as doth solitary voluntary
sequestration poor substitute to relish L'Chaim!

Now Holy cow, I modestly bow vine
and dandy attired with New Times Roman font –
showing off me lix - plus iv ridging
despite afflicting unsuspecting reader  
to experience insufferable oh press
sieve corny word play yes
please lemme know and honestly profess
if profusion of words create lingual Loch Ness,
when hens can't come home to roost
especially, encountering
the following conglomeration
in Matthew Scott Harris patois.

He readily admits writing inventive
attempts usually ten tubby a literary mess,
thus finding innocent cyber cruisers
Angle fishing for Saxony fundamental fluidity
courtesy of Freudian stream of consciousness,
gabbling gibberish, muck not done on purpose
and certainly less
modest ambition to impress.

Gnome hatter intent toward
cogency, fancy ingenuity,
levity, the inevitable
resultant wrought gobbledygook
fascination for Lingua Franca
feeble endeavor splutters, splinters,
and splatters Asia Yukon guess.

Paramour status analogous with twenty six letters,
sans En gull Lush Mother tongue confluence
finds me submerged (as an Arctic Monkey)
swimmingly enervated
via ****** laced sentiments
perhaps finds bravely daring soul madly
hollering, gesticulating floundering,
(in close proximity to Davy Jones's locker)
to avoid drowning at sea
perchance comprehending passionate influence.

Upon espying a signature poem of mine
forces one pre ponder ring lurking predilection
tib hush anonymous re:
dears (dares) adventuresome mettle
taking him/her to the brainy
(briny) deep brink Icon fess

this (NON FAKE) pretense, why
aye metaphorically express
(via medium of ordinary Anglophile
alphabetic wonton soup,
or figurative egg drop soup
bubbling broth (el) doth brew)

pronouns Sibyl affectation
affliction sans plethora,
where each ladle full adrip with
richly flavor Verdana Font lee
and sincerely textured vocabulary.

Pluperfect mortals beings undoubtedly feel
(blindsided, how this hunger stricken author
suffers said sesquipedalian syndrome
particularly expectorating flashy

hoping tum bark on successful literary quest)
hyper aware aspiring paperback writers wannabe
might stoop to conquer, cheat, cadge
vis a vis plagiarize plethora
amidst storied plentiful English droppings.

Rather than succumb pretense feigning paucity
temptation to bask exultantly,
professed glorious unrequited love
announcing required sworn vow,
(el lye ding) avowed consonant covenant.

Is there something
In a diamond
That’s worth its
Weight in gold
Have we succumbed to
Robotic pursuits,
Enslaved to
Soulless algorithms
With no end in sight
Thus, by default,
Failing a
Captcha test
Is it “I’ll have
What she’s having”
To ultimately
Gain nothing
Can expectations
Run any higher
Eyes can only
Roll back so far
How are we
Between the
Noise and
Quiet ecstasy
How are we
In complete
Solitude,
Destitute
Wild nature
Seem to have it
Down pat,
Free yet undeterred
How many times
Can you wipe
A slate clean
Before it wears and tears
Edit, Undo
Turn on, turn off
Handed on a plate
With no guts and glory

and ruffling turkey feathers!

An innocent A1 miss steak kin kith
once, a former main lion resident
living social where Tigress and Euphrates
converge and pool into Lake Wobegone  
necessitate extensible claws
to CAPTCHA unsuspecting top notch praise
omnipresent among cat skills
hidden from public scrutiny
iz cow herd vegetarian boar
hoof faux whatever reason explore
ring beak homing hootie and the blowfish
foo fighting beastie boy

regarding akin getting turned into transgender
goo goo doll, who doth
newt practice, what he/she preaches
nevertheless please befriend me
a (goofball - gipper generic and gallant
aging baby boomer and
long haired pencil necked geek i.e.) your
truly audacious, efficacious,
judicious, and perspicacious
wordsmith, who though married
thwarts egg gone eye zing hen pecking
courtesy unnamed ruler of roost.

Mystery man battens down amply spacious
(think webbed wide wolf gang proof)
lot for free roaming chickens,
who as little chicks respond courtesy peep
so cute, I vowed to become vegetarian
disassembled cramped coop hatches,
though impossible mission
to swear off being craving meat
even if juiced a braised animal morsel
whets appetite of carnivore

so... call me galore
re: us hypocritical plant dependent chap,
this honest to dog omnivore – more
accurately said buzzfeeding primate -
**** sapiens, he whelk hams
adieu after quick bonjour
hears ear splitting donkey hote tee mockery
analogous feat cheering despondent eeyore
nudging deaf finning stubbornness quite a chore
to motivate Jenny, she finally relents

and distills mine genuine goodness
qua gentle prodding unable to ignore,
especially sensing favorite treat
which carrot and stick ruse admits transgression,
and slyness teasing out desired objective,
similar to wily, totally tubular quirky logophile
employing double entendres,
now wonders wherefore
whether thou art still
game to read remaining adore

hub bull poetry of mine
understandable if ye deplore
such tongue in cheek
atrocious, egregious, ingenious, opprobrious...,
(just shy violating ethical core
**** regarding straying)
against dietary herbivore
rudimentary eel lamb ants
(chocolate covered my dear Watson)
boot fault in the starfish...por

favor mice elf can
oxe plain twittering like plover
with reasonable rhyme for sure
don't get doggy dimples in bunch
cause to skewer me but... but before...
sending killing squad to slaughter -
this puppy, aye kindly honour
my wish and don
me noggin with pompadour
as fetching drag queen

torpedo sized *****
squirting parti-color
milk as self defense mechanism
averting casus belli, thus
amidst melee I abhor
find self on horns of dilemma
life story of this poor
cooked goose flambé
caught between rock and trapdoor
special cannibal Buddha delight

where madding crowd
chants "send him back"
accursed unconscionable roar
ring anger, but lurch for eats,
an impulsive reflex courtesy extempore
rain nee yes unforgivable poor
craven impulse to up peas hunger
uncontrollably craving regarding carnivore
pang additionally not further injure
ring innocent animals plus more
to this fishy tail than
meats the Wawa birdseye.

alternately titles: I got noose for you,
Yours truly doth garrotte tee
another itsy bitsy,
betsy wetsy easy breezy read.

oft times ('specially
these latter unsainted days and nights)
in white satin death
doth haunt me atheistic zeitgeist
which thoughts of my demise
crowds out purposeful thinking
in the twitching mind kampf
paradigm of this atheist
hence, he betook himself
to this MacBook Pro,
while swiss side dull ideations

for professional intercession, could not wait
asper affecting cathartic,
purgative, harmonic tête-à-tête
and providing a meaningful surrogate
to expunge morbid mental state
accessed Open Office
and let fingers
(of left hand) do talking heads
to an imaginary therapist
across this qwerty keyboard

allowing, enabling, and
at the quickest typing rate
striving to captcha dismal, gloomy,
and ill lust tree us
deplorable mood aye equate
with pitching into
a bottomless abyss where pate
fed ceaseless diet of NON GMO –
a last repast
the grim reaper did orchestrate

gluten free, an extra heavy dose
of monosodium glutamate,
which ingredient doth
BuzzFeed thine appetite
for total mortal exterminate
'thou no need n re:coe fermi to rush,
where angels fear
to tread, cuz but better Nate
than lever, the apothegm,
credo, ethos...Kate
(the caterer maintains

an open exit from life,
and cares only
that each soul doth feel elan,
joie de vivre, and psalm times
a leaping lemur chants, ecstatically finally
gustatory humming don't jubilate
for your final homecoming, or else
the mailer daemon lived
a devilish dervish life will instigate
de coup age d'etat, but such extreme

measure for measure heed doth hate
yet exceptions always made for a date
particularly when henchmen to die for
golden age opportunity
to ****** a generic guy a create
an underground soiree will cease,
when ashes master
of hell raising
unpleasant circumstances twill use as bait
let underground missionary be advocate.

We now get along swimmingly
analogous to this bro and his older sis
on the cusp of our gifted silver married years
if her presence absent, I would sorely miss
after earlier decades bereft of wedded bliss.

Rarely did yours truly acknowledge birthday
of his former fancy free presently aging bride
gathered rosebuds while
rolling in our figurative hay
contra dance paramours
playing seek and hide
as we skedaddled down the line
hoot'n and holler'n hooray
nsync with foot stomping music airing pride
without prejudice, where
sense and sensibility accompanied sashay

vaguely hinting Puritanical ethos of Jane Austen
sexually stifled era, nevertheless
suppressed flirtation pried
loose courtesy adulterous,
affectionate and amorous way
love blind prospective husband
pledged marital covenant whereby
till death doth she part, I avowedly did stride
both of us pledged troth,
when marital Gordian knot tied.

Grim reaper eventual sweepstakes
will claim yours truly and me spouse anon
obliged to answer for whom the bell tolls... -
thank you John Donne,
perhaps mine missus gains
unexpected posthumous renown
thru sewing self styled couture
repurposing scraps of material
even in afterlife her unflagging spirit

banging out sought after stitched
assortment constituting richly adorned rags
hence cause for feted celebration
representing subsequent earth orbit around sun
lovely bones of counterpart being reincarnated
into favorite flower such as Peace Lily won.

Direct attestation, communication, exclamation,
genuflection, profession...
challenging verses crafting poetic adulation
mother of deux daughters I adore
with reasonable rhyme, a literary chore
feeble attempt and lame attempt made to explore
elements of style to write loving emotions galore
and disappointing if husband did ignore
one special day among
three hundred and sixty five
less for any obligation
but more so cuz sincere motive doth jive.

Impossible challenge-response mission
to captcha alive
elusive essence defined as love
exhibited via hormonal secretion
penetrating breastworks
hoping arousal to connive
(no fallacy) as anatomical male divining rod
scouted fertile crescent,
wherein peppy did dip and dive
that drove dis once young rammy man
(during me bachelorhood daze)
sexually afire by twenty and five

celibacy spurred stir crazy state
giving bee steel impression hive
been cruelly, seriously, and unhappily deprived
feasting upon verboten fruit
unhealthy suppression plus anxiety
spelled premature *******,
and presently enjoy spouse as finest companion
no matter testosterone drive went in reverse
meaning to fiendish predilection fornicate moot.

Thee marriage strongly bolstered principally thru
playful dynamics and/or verbal/oral *******
resolving regular potential conflicts
sets virtual stage to stave off violent altercations
most likely regarding insignificant issue
summoning forth active/deep listening
a renewable (non toxic) resource.

H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y

Witnessed courtesy the following poetic sight
especially when dark shadows foretell edge of night
twilight zone expanding
into outer limits of width and height
obscuring webbed wide world
subsequently where black tentacles alight.

This poetic prologue feeble exercise to encapsulate commonplace frustration experienced by fledgling author evidenced by spurious poem dredged up below decks foregoing full sentences, which will resume reflections being hobbled to cobble words together, when yours truly tries his darndest to re-captcha fleeting idea or sentiment.

Minimal productiveness
as hands of time issue silent tick tock
resultant rhyme without reason mere schlock
conceding intelligence on par with rock
consanguinity quite evident
versus key difference
when affliction named agraphia doth lock
stock and barrel creative juices
resounding, resonating, and resolving

into echo chamber with hollowness when
upon noggin of scapegoat bully doth knock
impossible mission to fend off badass ****
whereby yours truly envisions
fanciful day dream lazing a boat on the dock
carefree mindset disallows watching clock
repudiating, spurning, and thwarting
thee dilemma of writer's block
deliberating calling ghost writer ad hoc

One former bohemian rhapsodizes (and a young bare cub at Antioch to boot), now prosaically expounds courtesy lengthy epistemological expressing difficulty to craft complex literary edifice applying building blocks of English language in a fitting manner that does justice to said lingua franca giving liberty to leaping lizard thoughts that dart to and fro, hither and yon within the windmills of my mind.

Rather than censor or edit, I pour out at rapid fire rate, the notions (ala kingly brainstorm) that flit thru me  noggin when first staring at the black and white screen, sometimes eyes remain closed to help initiate the process to summon forth this, that, or another just barely perceptible concept; the task less difficult when the topic provided, which preconceived subject narrows focus into figurative box.

When provided specific issue to write about
the effort still arduous to gather plethora of
disparate points aware near infinite number
of directions discourse in question
could take this, that or another route,
whereby any path could lead to a dead end
with impulse to yank inkwell and spill spout
all over manuscript,
a Rorschach work of art to tout.

Countless trials and errors entail exploration
to the near state of physical exhaustion
where each logical conclusion finds pensive
fellow inextricably entangled within his own
thicket of unprintable verbiage.

Would you dear reader believe a/or accept
eureka moments arise stealthily as cats crept
unexpectedly and inconveniently when I
get situated on toilet and whole paragraphs
tumble into consciousness pell mell faster
than bowels expelling ****** waste matter
from derrière except
Macbook Pro in other room kept
safe and sound against accidents
if mishap occurred resident Kuni Lemel
would be convulsing with grief as he wept.

(alternately titled  GENESIS RESPLENDENT)

No matter the calendrical/official onset of vernal equinox takes places Tuesday, Mar 19, 2024 and transpires until Thursday, Jun 20, 2024, an intimation sensed (predicated on above average temperatures for February 21st, 2024) that season of blooming plants will override any assertion of Old Man Winter.

The ideal, general, ethereal ability of corporeal (once arboreal) beings to adduce, contemplate and exhaust gray inner knobby matter oft times finds this clothed apish chap entertaining gamesome insight. How did this, that or another thought spring forth per mine consciousness? This conjecture might be a shrunken modus operandi how life began, which query mankind scrunched brow throughout **** Sapiens history did contemplate. Origin of life ascribed to the big bang, but then the question begged what preceded that cosmic event, which question came crashing into inquisitive mind of yours truly (me) after reading  a book titled Angels and Demons by Dan Brown; He also wrote the Da Vinci Code, and The Lost Symbol among other book titles.

This veritable stranger sends
what he hopes you consider to be
a most pleasant unexpected note
to thee unknown reader
allowing further discourse
(communication) a boot...
footwear ourselves, and
maybe fledgling acquaintanceship
will positively resonate akin to a magic flute,
whereby digital life jackets
donned in virtual ******* up petsmart boat
perhaps if weather inclement,

an additional slick trojan raincoat
doned to help stay dry
until destination reached
perhaps landing upon a north Carolina island
resembling this hill Billy goat
(christened Beverly),
whence springs germ of sum re: idea
takes root exhibiting
potential valance lives strong
when juiced sta stp away
from ma cheaply tricked
supertramp violating
tender tinder and tumblr
ova vulnerable shoot.

To search for source that gives rise
enabling **** sapiens to think
this ace of spades heart felt,
(albeit diamond in the rough poet)
digs shallow sometimes
force fool lee with light club
to emulate spelunker easing
into ***** of Gaia,
or shine laser focus into chasm
teetering on the brink
hunting down gamesome

elusive dodging idea sunkist,
dogged catlike whimsy
doth elusively, and we silly out pace
yet hi yam ready with
whorled wide net to capture alive
agile rat scorpion fink unseen
quiet as mouse notion
gives this hardy laurel
a divine run for his money
quite a chase - bank king analogously
viz monkey and weasel

scurrying thru microcosmic burrow
of cerebral size manhattan
skyscrapers at a blink quarry
arising whim of mine
vanishes without a trace quick
as mental cogs & wheels
generated riveting link,
perch ants connected
to previous pondering
within cranial place, or appear
as some random
non-sequitur conscious kink

distracting ability to latch onto
awesome fleeting mind space
inducing minor frustration at lack of ability
dag nabbit (albeit painlessly) steely zinc
shimmering insight cognizant
ability likened to ode Grecian urn vase frieze
depicting close captcha
thought process cold playing life
spans shorter than a wink
via third eye of providence
of this comfortably numb,

yellow brick walled
beatle browed face,
whereat he espies verdant
pastoral themes that billow and flow
across terra firma hallowed ground
sanctimonious from immaculate
mother Earth conception
synchronized in a symphony with terrestrial
fauna and flora which life forms abound
via natural laboratory qua nature,
especially at seasonal dawn of spring tide
where multitudinous existence can be found

carving out a figurative zoological niche
in a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds galore
idyllic melodic musical sounds
artist palette of rainbow blended sights,
which twin manifestations
of restorative and natural calm
assuage auditory and visual
sense and sensibility pleasures respectively
serve as psychic balm against global threat
of life, liberty and happiness triage psalm
rampant in the form

of diabolical deliberate deeds
bred in the soil of deep rooted hatred
kudzu resistance asphyxiates human camaraderie
democratic state attacked with no qualm
malicious and terroristic plot methodical map
blueprint leaves catastrophic trail of red
dire dystopian prognostications
constitute doomsday scenario
no rocket surgeon
nor brain scientist mentality requisite
grave misfortune writ large for all life!

Overladen snow covered crackle and crunch
though, this skeptic owned a doubtful hunch
that such 24/7 round the clock whether coverage
would make laughingstock of forecasting
how Jack Frost feigned being out to lunch,
whereby inaccurate weather forecasters
outsmarted courtesy Mother Nature,
where snowfall accumulation tallied
one for the record books, a veritable blizzard
found meteorologists to scrunch

erroneous reports and quickly
retract how surprise Nor'easter
did quickly captcha  
and wallop unsuspecting
sleeping out of towners
whipping surprise out figurative sleeve
when dziadek mróz (Belarusian: Дзед Мароз)
in the Belarusian language
in league with Jackie Frost,  
both personifications getting last laugh

cuz women feel snubbed, shortchanged,
excluded, and being bossed
around feeling pinched at emotional,
physical, and spiritual cost
with million plus women marches
that did exhaust,
yet brought more equitable treatment,
and now risk being lost
in space at the outer limits
of the twilight zone or tossed

into the maws of Earth vis a vis
donning miner for a heart of gold,
where a frayed life line offers tenuous hold
nonetheless, despite risks to life and/or limb
females can experience em bold
dinned journeying
exposing them to in extremis cold
and worthy bets
at gambling halls upon casino bluffing,
thence, slapping (with poker face)

upon table a winning hand
abruptly forcing game to fold
grinning ear to ear while she scoops up gold
repudiating ugly rumors stereotyping women,
within which many other arenas
the devastatingly constricting mold
now upon many another proving grounds
non verbally, smugly,
and proudly assert" I told
you so" garnering, inviting, and

kickstarting kudos where,  
their overdue praiseworthy virtues extolled
which hard fight now pits
more gals to enter the scrum
letting actions speak louder than words
as bragging rights allow them to keep mum
though insinuating
rightful opportunity to whisk plum
ming access, where once (and still
to a lesser degree)

men didst unfairly prune
and hurl cruel names like hey
“scumbag," and/or other unflattering brickbats
versus increasing plaudits showered from
on high spelling victory
toward equality effacing glum
scowl into smile breaking out
finding more men grudgingly
bestowing deserved accolades
re-evaluating experiencing

the fairer *** lobbing smart
aleck nuggets of wisdom, now
despite being a youthful looking
roam'n lxv year old married heterosexual
underscoring, befriending opposite gender
making ladies in waiting
tubby a worthy chum
now, this ***
seeks Alma Mater dames
and graduates of
Hard Knocks School Alum.