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"beret" poems
the other day i sat alone having lunch in a McDonalds. i found the Big Mac enjoyable and the wedge fries good enough but what i truly loved was the cold-ass Oreo McFlurry. actually, that's a half-lie because the cold-ass Oreo McFlurry wasn't the only thing i truly loved from that McDonalds lunch. when i was McSpooning the creamy goodness using my left hand, the hand that should be reserved for ice cream related endeavors, this girl wearing a polka-dot dress and a beret came in, stood in line, and i heard her order: Big Mac, wedge fries and an Oreo McFlurry. she anxiously tapped her right foot, the foot that should be reserved for tapping, and i felt love for the first time in months. i didn't know her but i was in love. it was the kind of momentary love developed for strangers that makes you think: **** I wish we could sit together in silence at a McDonalds, mouths full, eating Big Macs, wedge fries and McFlurries being the envy of McDonalds residents." and then the stranger asks for her order to go and the universe collapses. the momentary love begins fading slowly and the fantasy is enveloped by greasy fast food smells. reality is a ***** girl in the polka-dot dress and beret. it's been 5 minutes since you left. i miss you. it's been 10 minutes since you left. i've tried forgetting you.
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Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 9:31 PM UTC
McRomance
Once upon a time There stood a frigid little snowman With finger holes for eyes Which spoke no truth nor lies Two twigs made his disfigured arms And a stoll for keeping him "warm" There he stood with all his smiley charm From the dusk until the dawn! His head covered with dad's old beret And a stalky little carrot nose Oh yes,He was our brave little snowman Who grew as he further froze. Then came the mighty spring Putting our little snowman at risk! And then came the sunshine Leaving only the beret,stoll and the twigs. Months passed by Winter came again And Childern came along With the Brave little snowman!
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May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 8:54 AM UTC
The Brave Little Snowman
Maverick ex-cop (Green Beret /Navy Seal /SAS/Ranger) Twiddle of the fingers to crack a 64 bit hexadecimal code Shot but can still beat up bad people and run 15 people firing automatic weapons and they all miss Database that searches the planets population in 2 seconds And has photos of their children and plans of their building Regardless of the crime scene sample, always a rare element that pinpoints location Car chase where a truck can keep up with a Ducati motorbike Organisations that only employ attractive people in lead roles Ugly people are tech specialists sometimes allowed to be ‘quirky’ Even the uglies are attractive people disguised with glasses and bad hairstyles ‘I dream of genie’ gendre were they flirt but never get it on, unless it’s a hospital series Watchable, funny programs that always succumb to sloppy sentimentality High schools complete with intolerance, marginalisation, bullying, and hell on earth, The most disturbing and darkest crime sent to titillate mid evening family viewing Endless humiliation for fatties, chefs, performers, builders, restaurateurs, and troubled teens Dysfunctional law enforcement agencies that never work together under any circumstances Enough, if we need this thick coating of unreality, perhaps its time to switch off?
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Feb 23, 2013
Feb 23, 2013 at 5:34 PM UTC
TV Tripe
My gorilla wears tennis shoes He reads the paper and sings the blues My gorilla, my gorilla My gorilla, he's a sensitive guy I took him out for a wedding, and man did he cry! Tears all down his tie Well, he can drive most greens from the back tees But his putting brings him to his knees My gorilla, my gorilla My gorilla loves pork and beans He rides a scooter in his cut-off jeans My gorilla, my gorilla He can make a mean souffle He's great with omelets, but his specialty is flambe So I eat one every day! He's been working hard on a half pike But his cannonball empties the pool My gorilla, my gorilla My gorilla is so much fun He buys taquitos for everyone My gorilla, my gorilla My gorilla loves tequila with lime He's taking classes at a school for mime Cracks me up every time! Well, he's looking cool in his "white face" And his French beret looks oh so fine My gorilla, my gorilla Oh yeah...
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Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 4:46 PM UTC
My Gorilla
Listen my dear daughter, to my first song of caution Earmarked for you my wonderful sire, come and listen, That tall old man with white hair all over his head Standing over there is not good; he is gnomish in the mind Be careful with him, he is not human in the heart But a mermaid of Yoruba poetry, just like Thespis of Greece Even the pecuniary psychopomp of Sweden gave him an accolade His heart is selfishly full of avarice; he wants everything for himself, Don’t recite him any of your poetry, lest he spells an abyss Against your juvenile poetic talent, he will fool you with a gift; A white sheep or a scarlet goat for your birth day anniversary Please don’t take it or anything else from him, as nothing from him is genuine But only machinations of evil spell aimed at mahyeming your talent Finally to decimate your girlhood and life, this is my caution For you dear little African girl. Listen my dear little daughter, to my second song of caution That short man in a Muslim gear loafing yonder, is suspect The Muslim beret on his head is merely a smokescreen to aghastly behaviour He is in no way an avatar of god of love and humane piety He is a terrorist working with Boko Haram and Algaeda He is an Alshabab that is bombing young girls in Mombasa and Nairobi All over Kenya he has killed the young people; his long egret-white sari is not for holiness, It is merely a nefarious sanctum of grenades, other tools of work in terrorism trade His loudly prayers, body movements and pocket bursting monies are only a stunt To have you kidnapped into death conduit, once you goof to join his courts, His sanctimony is a total picaresque film, (s)heroes of terror the centerpiece And thus, this is my caution for you dear little African girl. Listen my dear daughter, to my third song of caution Those tourists thronging our streets are deadly *** pets, they also skulk **** Their handsome outlook is not a stamp to any good conscientiousness They derive pleasure from poverty and *** tourism; they yearn to see a girl in poverty, Often rarely will they help an African girl, out of milieu of beggarly squalorism, Instead they go straight for the purse between your thighs, Regardless of the legacy they leave out of this lewdness, they are showy, They regret not in their Byronic broadcast of *** and fatherless urchins in the poor streets Foundation for their further poverty tourism, this is my caution for you dear little African girl.
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May 26, 2014
May 26, 2014 at 4:20 AM UTC
VERSES OF CAUTION TO AN AFRICAN GIRL
Listen my dear daughter, to my first song of caution Earmarked for you my wonderful sire, come and listen, That tall old man with white hair all over his head Standing over there is not good; he is gnomish in the mind Be careful with him, he is not human in the heart But a mermaid of Yoruba poetry, just like Thespis of Greece Even the pecuniary psychopomp of Sweden gave him an accolade His heart is selfishly full of avarice; he wants everything for himself, Don’t recite him any of your poetry, lest he spells an abyss Against your juvenile poetic talent, he will fool you with a gift; A white sheep or a scarlet goat for your birth day anniversary Please don’t take it or anything else from him, as nothing from him is genuine But only machinations of evil spell aimed at mahyeming your talent Finally to decimate your girlhood and life, this is my caution For you dear little African girl. Listen my dear little daughter, to my second song of caution That short man in a Muslim gear loafing yonder, is suspect The Muslim beret on his head is merely a smokescreen to aghastly behaviour He is in no way an avatar of god of love and humane piety He is a terrorist working with Boko Haram and Algaeda He is an Alshabab that is bombing young girls in Mombasa and Nairobi All over Kenya he has killed the young people; his long egret-white sari is not for holiness, It is merely a nefarious sanctum of grenades, other tools of work in terrorism trade His loudly prayers, body movements and pocket bursting monies are only a stunt To have you kidnapped into death conduit, once you goof to join his courts, His sanctimony is a total picaresque film, (s)heroes of terror the centerpiece And thus, this is my caution for you dear little African girl. Listen my dear daughter, to my third song of caution Those tourists thronging our streets are deadly *** pets, they also skulk **** Their handsome outlook is not a stamp to any good conscientiousness They derive pleasure from poverty and *** tourism; they yearn to see a girl in poverty, Often rarely will they help an African girl, out of milieu of beggarly squalorism, Instead they go straight for the purse between your thighs, Regardless of the legacy they leave out of this lewdness, they are showy, They regret not in their Byronic broadcast of *** and fatherless urchins in the poor streets Foundation for their further poverty tourism, this is my caution for you dear little African girl.
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36
Pantomime parrots Rabbit sick carrots a polar bear's merits And a porcupine forgetting his cue An ant reading tarot Chess master ferret A moose's beret And gallons of seahorse drool All of these things And those in between Are something for Your mind to chew. Yum :-)
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Feb 13, 2013
Feb 13, 2013 at 4:46 PM UTC
Bubblegum
they took my man off the street the other day he wore an L.A. Rams sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off and under that an army shirt private first class and he wore a green beret walked very straight he was black in brown walking shorts hair dyed blonde he never bothered anybody he stole a few babies and ran off cackling but he always returned the infants unharmed he slept in the back of the Love Parlor the girls let him. compassion is found in strange places. one day I didn't see him then another. I asked around. my taxes are going to go up again. the state's got to house and feed him. the cops took him in. no good.
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4.3k
private first class
My sister is a beauty, A photographer, an artist And the best subject imaginable. She is the main attraction of my coffee shop, She’s the mainstay of Main Street. Unlike every other woman I know, She only carries her camera and her dignity. And the gaze of a mirror; Her plaid shirt, oversized even when it was mine. A pair of tights earning their title And sky-high leather boots, a rocker’s staple. A cheesy beret, our mother’s bracelet. Blonde locks like there are teardrops on her guitar. And to complete the classic ensemble, Satan’s prized pearls: The Cheshire Cat smile. All tucked behind her expensive-as-hell camera. And her phone, case with white box and black bow. Just like my baby sister, A photograph with a black bow.
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Feb 20, 2018
Feb 20, 2018 at 9:09 AM UTC
Pamela the Polaroid
Janice sat beside you on the bombsite off Meadow Row looking towards the New Kent Road watching the people and traffic pass you with your catapult and she with the doll her gran had bought her from the market in the Cut Gran said those are dangerous Janice said pointing at the catapult not if you’re careful and responsible you said but they fire stones she said guns fire bullets you said they can **** people David killed Goliath with a stone she said I heard it in church I only fire at tin cans or other such targets you said she looked at the sky at pigeons flying overhead what about birds? she asked no I don’t shoot at birds although I did fire at a rat once but missed and it ran off I hate rats she said there was one on our balcony once and it frightened me to death you laughed you remember that coalman who stomped on that one along the balcony by your flat? yuk she said horrible blood and guts everywhere and on his boot you said she hugged her doll close against her don’t remind me you studied the doll in her arms the way it was close to her chest her hands caressing the painted china head the yellow flowered dress and small white socks and black plastic shoes you’d make a good mum you said watching her rock the doll in her arms do you think so? she asked yes you said maybe one day I will have a real baby she said and rock it to sleep and feed it with a bottle and burp it and change its ***** like I saw a lady do in the toilets of Waterloo station and Gran said it wasn’t hygienic not there of all places Gran said I’d have to have a peg on my nose if I had to change a baby’s ***** you said I think men have weaker stomachs than women do she said I think mothers are given stronger stomachs when they have babies it’s God way of helping them deal with babies I’d rather have a catapult than a baby you said or a doll do you want to hold my doll and I can hold your catapult? she asked no thanks you replied if my mates saw me I’d never live it down she kissed the doll’s head and said likewise but there was a smile on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes and a beauty in the way she sat in her orange coloured dress and bright red beret hat.
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Feb 23, 2013
Feb 23, 2013 at 4:27 AM UTC
JANICE AND YOU AND THE CATAPULT.
Janice sat beside you on the bombsite off Meadow Row looking towards the New Kent Road watching the people and traffic pass you with your catapult and she with the doll her gran had bought her from the market in the Cut Gran said those are dangerous Janice said pointing at the catapult not if you’re careful and responsible you said but they fire stones she said guns fire bullets you said they can **** people David killed Goliath with a stone she said I heard it in church I only fire at tin cans or other such targets you said she looked at the sky at pigeons flying overhead what about birds? she asked no I don’t shoot at birds although I did fire at a rat once but missed and it ran off I hate rats she said there was one on our balcony once and it frightened me to death you laughed you remember that coalman who stomped on that one along the balcony by your flat? yuk she said horrible blood and guts everywhere and on his boot you said she hugged her doll close against her don’t remind me you studied the doll in her arms the way it was close to her chest her hands caressing the painted china head the yellow flowered dress and small white socks and black plastic shoes you’d make a good mum you said watching her rock the doll in her arms do you think so? she asked yes you said maybe one day I will have a real baby she said and rock it to sleep and feed it with a bottle and burp it and change its ***** like I saw a lady do in the toilets of Waterloo station and Gran said it wasn’t hygienic not there of all places Gran said I’d have to have a peg on my nose if I had to change a baby’s ***** you said I think men have weaker stomachs than women do she said I think mothers are given stronger stomachs when they have babies it’s God way of helping them deal with babies I’d rather have a catapult than a baby you said or a doll do you want to hold my doll and I can hold your catapult? she asked no thanks you replied if my mates saw me I’d never live it down she kissed the doll’s head and said likewise but there was a smile on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes and a beauty in the way she sat in her orange coloured dress and bright red beret hat.
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123
You once said I read too much Le Carré or maybe Guevara, which could be true but I’m really just a hillbilly at heart with dreams of going to Chile with you on a fast boat running guns, but no más because you, you can dream forever without ever remembering who I was lying in your bed somewhere in Argentina reading Borges, wearing that black beret you brought with you from Bolivia, sweet Olivia, daydreaming of nights with Che.
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Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 10:22 PM UTC
Daydreaming of nights
Janice holds on her small open hand the yellow canary I watch it standing there on her palm seemingly not trying to fly off it talks words she tells me standing there red beret perched on top of blonde hair -I knew that I'd heard it taught it words while Janice was not there in the room naughty words- but sometimes Janice says it utters naughty words and Gran says who taught that canary such bad words? not me Gran I tell her must be that previous owner's fault I guess so her gran says I keep stumn put on my good boy face saint like gaze falling from God's good grace.
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May 23, 2015
May 23, 2015 at 11:51 AM UTC
NAUGHTY WORDS 1956.
The Master Corporal said to me "I'm gonna do a show" "Don't worry what I say to you" "I just thought you should know" Injured, badly two weeks gone I was set to be held back My knee was torn apart and that, was not something I could hack The day I was demoted My Master Corporal came to me He said "Turner, I hate to do this" "But, it's for the best...you'll see" I waited for inspection With the others all on line They were standing at attention Me on crutches the whole time "Turner, is there anything" "That I should hate to find" "Is there stuff inside your locker" "of a non-military kind" I stood there at attention Waiting for the end to come As he looked all through my kitting Found dust upon my gun He opened up the locker And a moth came flying out It flew past the Master Corporal And then it danced upon his snout The yell...was heard in England "A pet...you've got a pet" "Who said that you could have one?" "It's not allowed...A PET" The moth found the first window flew back towards him once again Left some moth dust on his beret And he flew away right then The Master Corporal's outrage At being "mothed" by my new pet Was one I don't think many In our platoon would soon forget He started throwing clothing Chucking boots around the room I knew it was all acting But, those boots can really zoom When finished he stood waiting For a response, I stood and stared I could not break out a smile I had to show I didn't care He moved on through the others Looking for more moths on the way But, that first one and it's face dance Well, it surely made my day He drove me to my barracks Up to my new platoon "I hope you liked my show today" " I know I'll see you soon" "Just do what you are ordered" "And one thing don't forget" "When you next have an inspection" "Don't have an insect for a pet!!" I remember fondly that last visit He knew it hurt for me to leave But, every word in here is truthful You can choose to not or to believe.
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Aug 4, 2013
Aug 4, 2013 at 9:22 PM UTC
The Master Corporal and The Moth
The Master Corporal said to me "I'm gonna do a show" "Don't worry what I say to you" "I just thought you should know" Injured, badly two weeks gone I was set to be held back My knee was torn apart and that, was not something I could hack The day I was demoted My Master Corporal came to me He said "Turner, I hate to do this" "But, it's for the best...you'll see" I waited for inspection With the others all on line They were standing at attention Me on crutches the whole time "Turner, is there anything" "That I should hate to find" "Is there stuff inside your locker" "of a non-military kind" I stood there at attention Waiting for the end to come As he looked all through my kitting Found dust upon my gun He opened up the locker And a moth came flying out It flew past the Master Corporal And then it danced upon his snout The yell...was heard in England "A pet...you've got a pet" "Who said that you could have one?" "It's not allowed...A PET" The moth found the first window flew back towards him once again Left some moth dust on his beret And he flew away right then The Master Corporal's outrage At being "mothed" by my new pet Was one I don't think many In our platoon would soon forget He started throwing clothing Chucking boots around the room I knew it was all acting But, those boots can really zoom When finished he stood waiting For a response, I stood and stared I could not break out a smile I had to show I didn't care He moved on through the others Looking for more moths on the way But, that first one and it's face dance Well, it surely made my day He drove me to my barracks Up to my new platoon "I hope you liked my show today" " I know I'll see you soon" "Just do what you are ordered" "And one thing don't forget" "When you next have an inspection" "Don't have an insect for a pet!!" I remember fondly that last visit He knew it hurt for me to leave But, every word in here is truthful You can choose to not or to believe.
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64
Kids like him spending nights dreaming about traveling to France and sitting around in a café wearing a beret and black turtleneck and smoking with a cup of wine on their other hand that dream about romance in the streets a kiss beneath the Eiffel Tower musky hotel rooms I'll never understand you kid I just can't dream that.
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May 20, 2013
May 20, 2013 at 6:35 PM UTC
Dream of France
From the time he was a little boy He wanted to be a soldier real bad To wear big boots and a uniform to look just like his dad Although he'd never met the man Many pictures had he seen Of daddy as a soldier being inspected by the queen. There's a shoebox in the cupboard With daddys medals and beret And a letter Johnny never read about how daddy passed away The Falklands war was halfway done but wars are always hell and The Battle of Goose Green is where Johnny's hero fell As soon as he was old enough despite his mothers pleas Johnny joined the army though she begged him from her knees It seemed he was a natural a born soldier like his dad who looking down from up above would be so proud of his lad He had an honesty and integrity that his advancement did effect A natural heroic son of a ***** you could not help but respect So when war came around again this time in old Iraq Johnny proudly did his duty well not just the once, for he want back 28 years ago we said goodbye almost to the day this time we're here for Johnny who war also took away Johnny was my friend a man I truly loved No wife or children left behind, his family's given enough
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Jul 10, 2010
Jul 10, 2010 at 8:07 AM UTC
Fallen hero
Janice adjusts the red beret on her fair hair and pulls at the hem of her dress as she sits on the wooden seat of the swing in the park. I sit on the swing next to her, ready to kick off, my feet on the tarmac, my eyes glued on her. She winces. Gran spanked me last night for saying that four letter word you taught me. You weren't supposed to tell your gran. You never said not to tell; I didn't know what it meant. Sorry, I should have told you. (I didn't know, but I don't tell her that). She pushes off with her feet and she's air borne; her sandalled feet high in the air as the swing goes backward then forward. I push off, too, holding tight to the steel links on each side of the swing. Maybe your gran should have washed your mouth out with soap instead of a spanking. I wish she had, too. My old man's aunt swears like a trooper; I used to go to Sunday tea with her and her husband and my Nan used to say: that's enough of that language, there's children present. What did did she say? They don't know what it means, she used to say; but Nan'd say, no, but they might repeat it to people who do. And did you? Janice asks. No, at least not if my parents were around. I am swinging higher than her now; my feet seem to reach the nearest clouds. She tries to swing higher, but I am still higher, by swinging backward and forward on the seat and the holding tight to steel links each side, I am up there with the gods. Have you ever been spanked? I look at her. Once when I peed in my toy box and my cousin told my mum. She pulls a face. How ***** of you. Yes, I guess; Mum thought so. I feel a breeze in my hair and face as I ride high, swinging back and forth on the swing. She's beside me trying hard to reach as high as I am; her feet reaching up, her legs swinging madly; her body going backward and forward; her red beret, clinging on for dear life on her head. I reach my maximum height; my feet touching Heaven's gates or so seems, my body going back and forth as much as it can. She’s almost there, smiling, the wind riding through her flowing fair hair.
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Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 1:57 AM UTC
SWINGING WITH JANICE.
Janice adjusts the red beret on her fair hair and pulls at the hem of her dress as she sits on the wooden seat of the swing in the park. I sit on the swing next to her, ready to kick off, my feet on the tarmac, my eyes glued on her. She winces. Gran spanked me last night for saying that four letter word you taught me. You weren't supposed to tell your gran. You never said not to tell; I didn't know what it meant. Sorry, I should have told you. (I didn't know, but I don't tell her that). She pushes off with her feet and she's air borne; her sandalled feet high in the air as the swing goes backward then forward. I push off, too, holding tight to the steel links on each side of the swing. Maybe your gran should have washed your mouth out with soap instead of a spanking. I wish she had, too. My old man's aunt swears like a trooper; I used to go to Sunday tea with her and her husband and my Nan used to say: that's enough of that language, there's children present. What did did she say? They don't know what it means, she used to say; but Nan'd say, no, but they might repeat it to people who do. And did you? Janice asks. No, at least not if my parents were around. I am swinging higher than her now; my feet seem to reach the nearest clouds. She tries to swing higher, but I am still higher, by swinging backward and forward on the seat and the holding tight to steel links each side, I am up there with the gods. Have you ever been spanked? I look at her. Once when I peed in my toy box and my cousin told my mum. She pulls a face. How ***** of you. Yes, I guess; Mum thought so. I feel a breeze in my hair and face as I ride high, swinging back and forth on the swing. She's beside me trying hard to reach as high as I am; her feet reaching up, her legs swinging madly; her body going backward and forward; her red beret, clinging on for dear life on her head. I reach my maximum height; my feet touching Heaven's gates or so seems, my body going back and forth as much as it can. She’s almost there, smiling, the wind riding through her flowing fair hair.
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119
At this time of my life I find myself wearing hats… I’m not happy with my head you see, In short, being able to see it it just doesn’t thrill me. Not through those depressing, disappearing strands. So it’s that time - It’s hat time! Hats are warm, comforting things; take it off and, for a while at least, it feels still there - a phantom hat. Not quite as spooky or worrying as a phantom arm or leg - after that severed limb thing, but right there! It really is that time - It’s hat time! My Grandma Lamplough, that’s on my mother’s side, was an avid knitter of things to order, She was even a freelancer for Jaeger… matinée jackets, mittens, cardies, pullovers But in later days mostly just tea cosies. If there was no immediate customer in mind… “Everybody needs a cosy and one size fits all” she would say… and anyway, commissions were rare for cosies back in the day She’d wear it boldly herself with handle and spout slots front & back, proud She’d start the next one and announce to every visitor right out loud… ”Hey…Do you want a cosy for your *** Mr Watling, the milkman, he had quite a lot! But then he showed up every day! A quart is it Mrs L?… and yes, I WILL have a cosy today! Me? I’ve never fancied a toupee, wig or go in for a Bobby Charlton tribute gig …. I’ll be happy just to settle for a beret, news boy or Fedora… to hide the offending pate and avoid the comb over till a later date. Meanwhile I’ll maybe settle for Grandma’s cosy special?
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Nov 6, 2020
Nov 6, 2020 at 9:32 AM UTC
It’s That Time... It’s Hat Time!
At this time of my life I find myself wearing hats… I’m not happy with my head you see, In short, being able to see it it just doesn’t thrill me. Not through those depressing, disappearing strands. So it’s that time - It’s hat time! Hats are warm, comforting things; take it off and, for a while at least, it feels still there - a phantom hat. Not quite as spooky or worrying as a phantom arm or leg - after that severed limb thing, but right there! It really is that time - It’s hat time! My Grandma Lamplough, that’s on my mother’s side, was an avid knitter of things to order, She was even a freelancer for Jaeger… matinée jackets, mittens, cardies, pullovers But in later days mostly just tea cosies. If there was no immediate customer in mind… “Everybody needs a cosy and one size fits all” she would say… and anyway, commissions were rare for cosies back in the day She’d wear it boldly herself with handle and spout slots front & back, proud She’d start the next one and announce to every visitor right out loud… ”Hey…Do you want a cosy for your *** Mr Watling, the milkman, he had quite a lot! But then he showed up every day! A quart is it Mrs L?… and yes, I WILL have a cosy today! Me? I’ve never fancied a toupee, wig or go in for a Bobby Charlton tribute gig …. I’ll be happy just to settle for a beret, news boy or Fedora… to hide the offending pate and avoid the comb over till a later date. Meanwhile I’ll maybe settle for Grandma’s cosy special?
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38
We sat on the grass by Banks House warm sun sound of coal men at the coal wharf just behind shunting of coal trucks up in the shunting yard by the railway bridge I showed Janice my new 6 shooter gun my old man had got me with a plastic holster that was attached to my belt she took the gun in her hands and turned it over what's fascinating about guns? she said one looks pretty much like another she opened up the gun and saw where the caps were fitted does it go bang when you fire caps? sure it does I said and took the gun and pulled the trigger and BANG BANG it went she put her hands over her ears that's loud she said ******** up her eyes I twirled the gun round a finger and put the gun back in the holster Gran said guns are dangerous things Janice said they are but this is only a toy gun I said she took off her red beret and combed her fair hair with a comb from her small handbag did they have girl cowboys? she asked cowgirls they were called I said Anne Oakley was good with a gun   have you got a spare gun and holster I could borrow? and I could be her to your Wyatt Earp she said sure I have I said I got lots of guns and holsters - I had about three sets- let's go get one and we can get you started as a cowgirl I said and I can ride a pretend white horse she said to go with your black one ok I said and we got up and walked back into the Square and we went to the flat where I lived my mother was boiling the wash in the boiler and said you want some lunch yet? I asked Janice and she said that would be nice and so we had some sandwiches and milk and I went and got her a spare gun and holster and an S belt of mine which she fitted around her narrow waist and she had a go at drawing the gun out of the holster as she'd seen me do and she was quite good and after lunch we set off to ride our imaginary horses through the Square and along the open prairie off the Meadow Row bomb site looking out for Injuns or bad cowboys we could fight.
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Jul 11, 2015
Jul 11, 2015 at 3:19 AM UTC
COWGIRL IN 1956.
We sat on the grass by Banks House warm sun sound of coal men at the coal wharf just behind shunting of coal trucks up in the shunting yard by the railway bridge I showed Janice my new 6 shooter gun my old man had got me with a plastic holster that was attached to my belt she took the gun in her hands and turned it over what's fascinating about guns? she said one looks pretty much like another she opened up the gun and saw where the caps were fitted does it go bang when you fire caps? sure it does I said and took the gun and pulled the trigger and BANG BANG it went she put her hands over her ears that's loud she said ******** up her eyes I twirled the gun round a finger and put the gun back in the holster Gran said guns are dangerous things Janice said they are but this is only a toy gun I said she took off her red beret and combed her fair hair with a comb from her small handbag did they have girl cowboys? she asked cowgirls they were called I said Anne Oakley was good with a gun   have you got a spare gun and holster I could borrow? and I could be her to your Wyatt Earp she said sure I have I said I got lots of guns and holsters - I had about three sets- let's go get one and we can get you started as a cowgirl I said and I can ride a pretend white horse she said to go with your black one ok I said and we got up and walked back into the Square and we went to the flat where I lived my mother was boiling the wash in the boiler and said you want some lunch yet? I asked Janice and she said that would be nice and so we had some sandwiches and milk and I went and got her a spare gun and holster and an S belt of mine which she fitted around her narrow waist and she had a go at drawing the gun out of the holster as she'd seen me do and she was quite good and after lunch we set off to ride our imaginary horses through the Square and along the open prairie off the Meadow Row bomb site looking out for Injuns or bad cowboys we could fight.
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I arrived at Janice's grandmother's flat for the doll's tea party as I said I would and Janice took me into her bedroom as her gran was in the sitting room with two of her elderly friends talking over cups of tea Janice showed me into her room where there was a single bed and a small table arranged beside it with two small chairs in which sat Teddy a yellowish bear Golly a red smiling lipped black doll and Miss Woolworth a blonde doll with curly blonde hair and blue staring eyes and a pouty mouth and a rag doll with one eye the other one empty space after she had introduced me to the tea party guests she showed me the small stainless tea *** and six small teacups and a stainless milk jug and bowl with a few sugar lumps do you take sugar? she asked I said two and she put two sugar lumps in a tea cup and one in hers and poured the tea into my cup and added milk from the jug she made her own tea and sat on the bed beside me then she poured pretend tea in the cups of the guests on the small table was a plate of small ice cakes Gran made them for us Gran's friends have the rest Janice said and on  another small plate were four fingers of KitKat I sipped the tea   it was weak but warm in the other room voices laughed what's the doll with one eye called? I asked Cyclops she replied funny name for a girl doll I said don't you remember Mr Finn saying about a one-eyed person the other week? Janice said he said it was a one-eyed savage giant I replied o did he? she said frowning her forehead o I see she said never mind I said it's as good a name as any she wasn't convinced and frowned harder maybe I ought to call her Grace Janice said Grace? I said yes I had an aunt who had one eye called Grace Janice informed what was the other eye called? I said she laughed out loudly and then put a hand over her mouth and whispered best not make too much noise or Gran will wonder what we're doing I sipped more tea and took one of the iced cakes we ate the cakes in silence I gazed at the Golly smiling at me then Teddy who sat with a small silly smile sewn on after cakes Janice gave me a KitKat finger and we sat and ate those too Miss Woolworth hasn't been well Janice said o what's wrong with her? I asked her left leg has come loose and dangles when you lift her up Janice said o dear I said giving Janice a stare she seemed serious so I didn't smile there was more laughter from the women in the other room Janice looked at me and said glad you could come and so is Teddy he likes company I said I enjoyed it and after sipping the last of the tea she showed me her new red beret and placed it on her blonde hair and smiled then kissed my cheek best go I said glad other boys never saw the kiss or they'd think I'd gone weak.
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Nov 2, 2015
Nov 2, 2015 at 1:48 AM UTC
THE PARTY 1956.
I arrived at Janice's grandmother's flat for the doll's tea party as I said I would and Janice took me into her bedroom as her gran was in the sitting room with two of her elderly friends talking over cups of tea Janice showed me into her room where there was a single bed and a small table arranged beside it with two small chairs in which sat Teddy a yellowish bear Golly a red smiling lipped black doll and Miss Woolworth a blonde doll with curly blonde hair and blue staring eyes and a pouty mouth and a rag doll with one eye the other one empty space after she had introduced me to the tea party guests she showed me the small stainless tea *** and six small teacups and a stainless milk jug and bowl with a few sugar lumps do you take sugar? she asked I said two and she put two sugar lumps in a tea cup and one in hers and poured the tea into my cup and added milk from the jug she made her own tea and sat on the bed beside me then she poured pretend tea in the cups of the guests on the small table was a plate of small ice cakes Gran made them for us Gran's friends have the rest Janice said and on  another small plate were four fingers of KitKat I sipped the tea   it was weak but warm in the other room voices laughed what's the doll with one eye called? I asked Cyclops she replied funny name for a girl doll I said don't you remember Mr Finn saying about a one-eyed person the other week? Janice said he said it was a one-eyed savage giant I replied o did he? she said frowning her forehead o I see she said never mind I said it's as good a name as any she wasn't convinced and frowned harder maybe I ought to call her Grace Janice said Grace? I said yes I had an aunt who had one eye called Grace Janice informed what was the other eye called? I said she laughed out loudly and then put a hand over her mouth and whispered best not make too much noise or Gran will wonder what we're doing I sipped more tea and took one of the iced cakes we ate the cakes in silence I gazed at the Golly smiling at me then Teddy who sat with a small silly smile sewn on after cakes Janice gave me a KitKat finger and we sat and ate those too Miss Woolworth hasn't been well Janice said o what's wrong with her? I asked her left leg has come loose and dangles when you lift her up Janice said o dear I said giving Janice a stare she seemed serious so I didn't smile there was more laughter from the women in the other room Janice looked at me and said glad you could come and so is Teddy he likes company I said I enjoyed it and after sipping the last of the tea she showed me her new red beret and placed it on her blonde hair and smiled then kissed my cheek best go I said glad other boys never saw the kiss or they'd think I'd gone weak.
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What a show! What a pose! Who exactly do you think you are? Hemingway? Fitzgerald? No. Can't be. Those guys wouldn't drink this so called coffee in this hell hole. Look at the guy making the drinks, clearly an idiot, oh but look at him now, pretending to be reading some philosopher I've never heard of. Yes, pretending, I can see him eyeing his sides to make sure someone is watching. And you typing away on that machine, that dinosaur, in your thrift shop clothes wearing that dumb beret, so special. I'm going to leave the pretentiousness that surrounds me here, it's truly numbing and sick. Forget Starbucks, I'm going to that bar across the street. Whiskey is cheaper than this cup of coffee flavored water.
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May 11, 2013
May 11, 2013 at 7:56 PM UTC
Typewriter in Starbucks
I woke up this morning Sporting a Beret Speaking in an accent Parlez-vous francais? With a scarf around my neck A pencil thin moustache Afraid I might have woke up French A slight giggle to my laugh With a strong urge for fresh Baguette's I head to the grocery I told my cat I'd be right back He looked at me... Cest la vie
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Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 11:46 AM UTC
Woke up French
That badass girl’s got curves like a Spanish guitar a few scratches, a lot of scars you can see almost any Saturday at the Bullets for Martyrs Cantina if she's not strung too tight, she’s a lean, mean beautiful Argentine into that whole revolutionary scene singing Seremos como el Che all olive drabbed and black beret’d always quick with a ¿Como estas? Eh, I'm okay I says, mis chica mas bella, pero su ese Che es muerto but here on the B!ue Mesa is where the truly live come to live - ¿Comprende?
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May 16, 2019
May 16, 2019 at 8:42 PM UTC
Alive on the Blue Mesa
A report assembled over 3 years by NAASA scientists has now confirmed that there is life in outer space They cannot however determine whether it is Martian, Venusion or Pluterian. Whatever this life form is we know that it is posing as a great artist with both brush and word although our cryptologists are still trying to make sense out of the rambling messages this life form keeps transmitting. Our artistic impression of this being likens it to the right frontal lobe of a human brain covered by a beret Should you receive email or any other form of correspondence from this being you are strongly advised to ignore them as trying to decipher such messages can cause permanent brain damage
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Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 4:42 AM UTC
YES!!! There Is Life In Outer Space
I saw Sting in the lobby this morning, we were going out and he was coming in. Lisa nudged me, “Sting” was all she whispered. He was with a woman and a man. The woman was talking to the doorman. Sting was dressed all in black except for a long stark-white cashmere scarf, he was chatting and working a dark-gray French-flat-cap around in his hands. His hair is very short and white. We wanted to walk in the snow, if only for a minute. A gust of wind caught us as we reached the sidewalk. The two American flags, on either side of the entrance, went rigid, at 9-o’clock as if saluting us. “Jeeez!” I said, like the Georgia girl I am - or was. “Don’t be a baby,” Lisa answered, like a true, pittyless New Yorker but her cheeks had turned a child-like pink. She flipped up her collar. I patted my pocket, relieved to feel my phone and know that if we froze to death the authorities could use “find my friends” to locate our bodies. Leeza joins us a moment later and I can’t help but notice that she’s dressed like it’s a cool fall day. Back in the day, when my brother would dress like summer even though temperatures in Georgia had dipped cruelly into the fifties. Seeing him, my mom would say, “Where there’s no sense, there’s no feeling,” but I don’t. “Did you see Sting?” I asked Leeza (12). She gives me a blank look. “Sting”, I said, “the lead singer for The Police?” I add, as clarification. “I don’t know who that is,” she says flatly. “He was famous,” I say in surrender, “a long time ago, in the 90s.” Maybe the next generation won’t be as celebrity driven. Thank God Lisa suggested I pin my artist-beret down or it would have blown away, like my resolve to walk in the snow. Still, I followed Lisa into the park like a cat on a leash - unwilling to be seen as any less Canadian. The show crunched like we were trampling over snow-cones. Trees began turning away the wind as we entered Central Park, “I think we may survive.” I said cheerfully. Just because you're freezing to death doesn’t mean you can’t be ​​affable. Why don’t pigeons freeze to death - I thought birds flew south for the winter?
0
Jan 10, 2022
Jan 10, 2022 at 9:17 AM UTC
Stinging January morning
I saw Sting in the lobby this morning, we were going out and he was coming in. Lisa nudged me, “Sting” was all she whispered. He was with a woman and a man. The woman was talking to the doorman. Sting was dressed all in black except for a long stark-white cashmere scarf, he was chatting and working a dark-gray French-flat-cap around in his hands. His hair is very short and white. We wanted to walk in the snow, if only for a minute. A gust of wind caught us as we reached the sidewalk. The two American flags, on either side of the entrance, went rigid, at 9-o’clock as if saluting us. “Jeeez!” I said, like the Georgia girl I am - or was. “Don’t be a baby,” Lisa answered, like a true, pittyless New Yorker but her cheeks had turned a child-like pink. She flipped up her collar. I patted my pocket, relieved to feel my phone and know that if we froze to death the authorities could use “find my friends” to locate our bodies. Leeza joins us a moment later and I can’t help but notice that she’s dressed like it’s a cool fall day. Back in the day, when my brother would dress like summer even though temperatures in Georgia had dipped cruelly into the fifties. Seeing him, my mom would say, “Where there’s no sense, there’s no feeling,” but I don’t. “Did you see Sting?” I asked Leeza (12). She gives me a blank look. “Sting”, I said, “the lead singer for The Police?” I add, as clarification. “I don’t know who that is,” she says flatly. “He was famous,” I say in surrender, “a long time ago, in the 90s.” Maybe the next generation won’t be as celebrity driven. Thank God Lisa suggested I pin my artist-beret down or it would have blown away, like my resolve to walk in the snow. Still, I followed Lisa into the park like a cat on a leash - unwilling to be seen as any less Canadian. The show crunched like we were trampling over snow-cones. Trees began turning away the wind as we entered Central Park, “I think we may survive.” I said cheerfully. Just because you're freezing to death doesn’t mean you can’t be ​​affable. Why don’t pigeons freeze to death - I thought birds flew south for the winter?
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