"becase" poems
my keyboard is broken
like me
so some leer will be missing
hoefllly yo can ndersand
i'm broken
and like my keyboard
i'm missing things which
i can be cant be wihot
if yo can ndersand this
then maybe yor broken o
becase yo ndersand my brokeness which
is more then i ca say abot alot of eole
Sep 25, 2016
Sep 25, 2016 at 9:41 AM UTC
So today you'll be in love this girl from the internet and tomorrow you be in love with that girl from the internet and today your mother will ask you to look up from your phone for two seconds and tomorrow you will be ************ over a girl that you can't that you can't look in the eye because her eyes are miles and away and they're always watching you with disinterest, until you lose interest; some Catholic girl told me that long distance relationships make it easy to fall I to son and I got to understanding why God stays so far away. I know how to ruin myself with one hand, I know how to tear you apart with two. I know how stop taking care of myself until I'm overgrown with weeds just to watch you grow; some idiot said you don't forget how to ride a bike so I got lazy and stopped using one and some idiot said you don't forget your first love and I did the same thing. I saw the train coming and I laid you down on the tracks like I cared, and I did but I just don't know how and that's how the deal, no one knows how to do anything, hardly anyone knows how to derail trains.
And today I'll fail my test becase I didn't study, tomorrow I'll remember that a year ago you said my name for the first time; today I'll sit on my hands until they tingle just to make sure that I'm alive; we'll delve into the meanings of 'love' and 'lust', but in the end they'll both still feel the same, I'll wonder if you track dirt into your house with your boots or if you just track hurt, you'll always keep me right where you can see you but never where I can hold you. We'll speak well about each other and keep our dark secrets tucked into the waistbands of our skirts like crisp white shirts. I can't understand why anyone would want to live in the first world, where all we do is keep things we love in dusty boxes and sit in traffic and hurt the people we love and write about it.
And then we'll leave the internet and grow up and be gray and our tweets will die out like people do and then we won't think about it much. We won't think about it much.
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014 at 3:42 PM UTC
•••
It is anxiety, underneath my smiles
There are despaires within my tries
And as happiness slowly fades,
My mind started to lose its faith
Been trying..
To smile, behind my secrets
Been thinking..
It is okay, when things do not go my way
Been pretending..
It is fine, even when i fell far behind
But, I am longing..
To find the path to shake off my sads
But lately..
I can not help but to feel like I am losing my track
Becase all that I am is..
Just a one big house full of wrecks
•••
Mar 5, 2023
Mar 5, 2023 at 8:03 AM UTC
Stop the beating of my heart.
End my life and let everything
Be forgotten like a fossil in an ocean.
Cease me from living.
Bar me from breathing.
**** me!
****** a thousand nails into my chest,
Slit my rasping throat, cut my trembling wrist
And let my blood drip on the floor
Until it forms a sea, enough
For my horrible childhood reminiscences
To drown and walk off the shore,
Where I am the fragments of sand,
Trying to create a stone
Just to be whole, firm, and strong.
**** me!
Pour a hundred-gallon of water into my mouth
And let my pain evade and flow out
Of my suffocated body.
Maybe then I can finally say
"I'm fine"
Without trying to extend
My hand above water
Or trying to breathe bit by bit
While my lungs load a river.
**** me!
Pull my eyes out, so I won't feel my tears anymore.
Slice my ears, so I won't hear myself again yowling in mourn.
Break my legs, so I can finally stop myself
From jumping on a deep water like a stupid whelp.
Hook my heart out of my chest.
Bludgeon my head to death.
Maybe then, I won't feel for once
Like I'm a canary underneath
The undertow of an ocean,
Wings ripped off and flight unfound.
**** me
Because I can hardly breathe.
I'm drowning in the thought of being sad
While losing the reason to feel so.
Every day, anxiety drags me to my bed,
But insomnia has this silly prank of hammering my head.
I try to ask anyone for help,
But whenever I see people in my surroundings
All I feel is like eternally drowning.
They make me feel like a terrestrial flower,
Trying to breathe underwater.
Every night, I write poems,
Not to **** boredom
But to **** something that kills me -
Ceaselessly.
Every letter I write on a paper
Feels like the water
Inside an aquarium where
I keep on suffering
And drowning forever.
I'm in the abyssal zone,
Too deep that even light can't penetrate.
Darkness engulfs me,
And light easily burns me
Take me from this depth.
Take me from this kind of death.
This depth makes me lose my breath.
**** me
Because living already feels like dying.
**** me
Not becase I'm tired of living,
But because I'm tired of dying!
**** me
Because it's suffocating.
It's asphyxiating me.
This darkness makes me
Hardly see
Myself.
It feels like I'm dying forever,
And I don't want to die anymore,
I'm drowning.
I can never reach the shore.
Save me!
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 2:28 AM UTC
Smile...
Smile...
Smile for the camera...
Show them you care...
Show you love her...
So....
Smile...
Smile so you can hold her....
She makes you happy...
So....
Smile...
Dont frown...
Make your presence known...
Smile....
For your kid...
Show you care for her...
Show her shes precious...
Smile...
Smile for it all...
Show them...
Show them all you care...
Most importantly...
Smile because you love her...
Smile becase you want to smile..
I smile today...
Because of her...
She makes me smile...
I love her...
So i just...
Smile...
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 11:49 AM UTC
An angel came to me and pulled me out of the dark.
He made me feel loved, and mended my broken heart.
He sings me love song, songs i'd love to sing
I was treated a Queen so I treated him King.
The sunshine that I have in life, yes, there were.
Rainbows and flowers can be seen everywhere.
His eyes as they speak in miine
As if it's always a valentine
His clasps were my shelter, my security, my shield
His kisses were treasured, as if with them, love were sealed.
His fingers that runs through my hair
is like a cool breeze in the air.
He made me stand up again, yes, once more
Made me believe, that there's such forevermore
His smiles, kills me, melts my heart
But now, they were dream because we still fall apart.
Fallen Angel, yes, I am.
For I am an angel fell for a man.
Fallen Angel, yes, he is.
Becase he's now gone as quick as a kiss
Fallen Angel, yes, I am.
Maybe my halo, disappeared again.
Fallen Angel, yes, he is
Because he fell apart, maybe I turned to a beast.
Fallen Angel, yes I am.
For I am still inlove with that same man.
Fallen Angel, yes he is
For I let him go, and now, I SO MISS :(
Dec 13, 2013
Dec 13, 2013 at 3:16 AM UTC
you were born
becase
you’re ******* important to someone
so don’t you dare let anyone tell you different.
do you hear me?!?
you are ******* important to someone.
and i promise you,
they’re out there
right now
and they’re scouring
this entire sodding earth
trying to find you.
because i promise,
they ******* care about you.
Oct 28, 2015
Oct 28, 2015 at 12:05 AM UTC
head in the pillow
my deep breaths filled with this fire in my house
that i must confront
the heat carries the message that i must grasp
let the burning desire of my truth singe my flesh
the part of me that runs from who i am
the darkness that encases the light within me
if i can catch the flame, and hold on to it
mo matter which way the wind blows it
remain the same
ive bee so afraid
it scares me so much becase the truth burns from inside
more and more every day
it grows and grows
i cannot stop it
and the conscequence of building more of this disquised body
for this flame to burn
to keep this false image coherent
just a little bit longer
i let these distractions -the change of the wind
pull me in another direction
but the flame should be in control of the wind
but im too afraid to become ablaze
engulfed in the light that will
make the change
for years the wind has licked away
until i extinguish
but i still remain
become a body only restrained by the rain.
TRULY USE MY FREE WILL AND BREAK THROUGH MY DIS ACTION.
Nov 30, 2011
Nov 30, 2011 at 4:17 AM UTC
Im sad
Upset
Mad
Depressed
You ask why
Why becase
Im in foster care
Meaning i go by there rules
Even tho i did nothing wrong
Why do i get puneshed
When its my mom who did the wrong
Iv been the good kid
Iv done my part
So why
Im almost 18 here in september
But will i get to be like the rest
No most likely not
Itll be diffrent
I want to go camping
Can i
Probibly not
Im done with this
Foster kid crap
I wanna be normal
Aug 11, 2014
Aug 11, 2014 at 8:30 PM UTC
Don t think that i m proud
because i m not an angel
don t think that i don t care
just becase i act cold
but my darling it s just a mask of
Ice princess
I need someone who will save my
******* soul
but i wonder where are u?
You said u ll always have my back
where are u now when I'm
on my knees
Praying for a savior
hoping for a way to heaven
i can t escape my own demos
i need you my darling...
An u wonder why i smoke?
You think it s killing me
but the truth is it s killing you in me
and i can t resist it...
Feb 1, 2015
Feb 1, 2015 at 3:57 PM UTC
runs on empty all the time
(only on "empty")
-------
i met this very beautiful girl on the streets
she said....wanna go "out," boy?"
i gestured at the ground, the buildings, the sky,and said
"we are already out, aren't we?"
she said...."let's go back to my place....a hundred bucks for the whole night"
i said "do i look like the kind who needs you, or, for that matter
HAS a hundred bucks?
she scowled and screamed out..."you *******
i was so hurt i just slid down to the sidewalk and started to cry.
she ran up, lifted me to my feet and apologized.
she said..."look at the ten dollar a throw girls...dying.!!
a hundred bucks a night...the guy gets drunk, ***** me once, passes out ---feels ashamed of himself ...gives me fifty dollars extra...and is gone!
"why?" was all i could say
"becase my husband left me with the kid, i need an extra three hundred a month to support us"....two or three nights a month!...two or three lousy, stinking nights a month!"
i pulled out all of money and handed it to her, and said..."here,take it....i'll try to get more..........
it was about a buck fifty in change.
she didn't take it........
i stammered "do you want us to just get married?"
she slowly shook her head..."no"
we stood looking at eachother for a very long time........
then.....all at once...we both sighed deeply, turned.....and were gone
--------
runs on empty all the time
(only on "empty")
Jul 21, 2010
Jul 21, 2010 at 2:05 PM UTC
runs on empty all the time
(only on "empty")
-------
i met this very beautiful girl on the streets
she said....wanna go "out," boy?"
i gestured at the ground, the buildings, the sky,and said
"we are already out, aren't we?"
she said...."let's go back to my place....a hundred bucks for the whole night"
i said "do i look like the kind who needs you, or, for that matter
HAS a hundred bucks?
she scowled and screamed out..."you stupid **** you!"
i was so hurt i just slid down to the sidewalk and started to cry.
she ran up, lifted me to my feet and apologized.
she said..."look at the ten dollar a throw girls...dying.!!
a hundred bucks a night...the guy gets drunk, does me once, passes out ---feels ashamed of himself ...gives me fifty dollars extra...and is gone!
"why?" was all i could say
"becase my husband left me with the kid, i need an extra three hundred a month to support us"....two or three nights a month!...two or three lousy, stinking nights a month!"
i pulled out all of money and handed it to her, and said..."here,take it....i'll try to get more..........
it was about a buck fifty in change.
she didn't take it........
i stammered "do you want us to just get married?"
she slowly shook her head..."no" didn't have to be said...but the feelings were true
we stood looking at eachother for a very long time........
then.....all at once...we both sighed deeply, turned.....and were gone
--------
runs on empty all the time
(only on "empty")
Jul 21, 2010
Jul 21, 2010 at 2:12 PM UTC
We live a life were..
Kids are distracted from crying by phones
A little kid knows the moms password be for he can speak
Were kids instead of going outside
We'll they'd rather stay in,
Playing on Facebook or Twitter
Whatever that is.
And I'll admit I spend some of my time
On my Facebook doing nothing
But scrolling down.
Being board
When we all could go out and bike
Or skate, or take a walk
When instead of useing our phones
Witch is a trapped society in its own
We could ask a stranger for directions
We could use what god has given us
It's called speech and our hands
Use the words you know
Or the hands to sign.
Put the phone and the laptops down
Take in the relization
That there's a world to be descoverd
Look at the sky and listen to the birds
Not saying musice is bad becase I'm **** to say it's something I love
But putting it aside the other day
I relized just how much I missed..
Just being out side.
Yea......
This is our society
We can always change it
But not unless we want to
So instead of haveing your musice in
Or being on Facebook
Or twitter or other media sites
Go be with a Frieand
Go for a walk and talk
Like when you were 10
Playing out side on the playground
Amazing your never to old for that :)
Don't listen to the haters
Belive in what you want and go have a good time with some Frieands
I know our parents always Say stranger danger
But howed you get to know the kids you call friends now?
Good luck out there and smile tomorrow's a new day it isent over.
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 1:23 AM UTC
Water.
Low-calorie, no-calorie, sugar-free and…water.
I was never like the other girls. The beautiful, tall, and skinny girls I was not perfect
Instead I had the words ugly, worthless, fat, and unloved branded on my face
The words empty, broken, dumb, and unwanted covering my entire body
Skinny was never a word that described me
Until I stopped eating
Calories
200
400
600
800
I lost 5 pounds, then 10, then 20. Striving to be double digits and not triple.
Eating in front of a mirror.
Crying over a bathroom scale,
Cause i only felt pretty when i was hungry.
200
400
600
800
repeat
2, 4, 6, 8
To me, being perfect was more important of being healthy
It was a never ending cycle of "Will I eat today?"
I was trapped in the walls of my mind with the door wide open
Why didn't I just walk through the door?
In my mind
I couldn't fit
calories
2, 4, 6, 8
need to lose weight
2, 4, 6, 8
I lost all of my friends because instead of going out and enjoying life
I stayed home, adding all of the calories I had eaten that day
Instead I stayed home in fear of gaining weight from that one slice of pizza
keep going through the days
2, 4, 6, 8
My scale became my best friend
Watching that number go down was my fun on a Friday night
Drinking water on an empty stomach was my feeling of enjoyment
But no matter how low that number got it was never enough
It was never enough until I had finally collapsed
2, 2, 2, 2
fast
Female, 14 years of age, height 5"3, weight 65 pounds
I had done it
I was so skinny I was dying
I was dying because society told me that I wasn't good enough
I was dying because society told me that I wasn't pretty nor skinny enough
I was dying because I was afraid that one day people would see me
The way I saw myself
I fight all day and all night
this is your own fault
My body shows my battlewounds
Scars and bones and scratches
you did this to yourself
I need to eat
but you can't
It's just food
but it's not
My minds thin
but you're fat
This is breaking me
I'll fix it for you
I'm going too far
you're not far enough
I need to turn back
that's not an option
Release me
not happening
I've gone too far
push it a little further
My weight became the only thing I cared about
I was failing all of my classes becase the only numbers I cared about
Were the ones that would appear on my scale telling me how much more I needed to lose until,
I had nothing to lose
I didn't see a future
I had already lost my friends
My GPA
My family
And myself
All for what?
I lost everything to be like the other perfect girls The beautiful, tall, and skinny girls
0
Pill
Dead
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 4:45 PM UTC
I've always fallen in love in autumn
always to fall apart early spring--
call me deciduous, the abscission just happens,
I've considered my winter coats, my shields,
the neat places I've tucked myself away
were we to overwinter?
to hibernate until further notice?
the titles were frightening, impending and
ominous, each one a textbook on subjects
we had no knowledge of, dark leatherback novels
featuring versions of ourselves we never meant
to be or never knew we could --
wrapped in sleeping bags and white down duvets
best during the winter becase we were both
raging fires, flames licking at eachothers doors
stopping short of our naked toes, put out by the
here and there snow, but sometimes
we were embers, pulsing stones of coal
settling, wishing, waiting, kissing wounds
breathing secrets over bruises--
but migration comes suddenly,
i've been in and out dormant for years
a sputtering volcano rumbling and groaning--
were we to overwinter?
I lost the dream woke with a start,
the caldera gave way and sunk in
terrified I'd take you with,
but travelers don't pause for eruptions
or make their way through magma --
and volcanos don't plead
for them to
stay
were we to
overwinter?
Apr 8, 2017
Apr 8, 2017 at 2:40 PM UTC
I was here at the beginning and i am the end
im always lingering waiting to strike
i dont see race, religion, or gender
i dont care who you are , what you make, or what you created
because i conquer anything and everything
i was present at your birth but kept at bay
but i creep closer and closer , year by year
i am your greates fear
For when your time is up you beg me not to come walking
you may not think of me in a positive way
but listen to what i have to say
without me life would be meaningless
no purpose , no motivation, no time
listen to the greek figure achilles who described the gods feelings
they were immortal
but jealous of mere mortals
we could see true beauty becase it could be the last time
we could have a higher purpose because we dont have a forever
we could be thankful because each breath meant something
we could love because we'd rather die than be without someone
so dont fear me , pray for me
because i have given you a gift not even the gods could achieve
and know that im not taking you away
im bringing you home.
Jul 26, 2014
Jul 26, 2014 at 10:20 PM UTC
Being a rhapsodic (intensely emotional)creature, both gullus(bold and daring)and habil(deft and skillful).You strive for dehydropiandrosterone (achievement of full potential)in your movements,and not expressing with coprolatia's (swear words). You refine yourself to be punurgic(able and ready to do anything)in your actions. You listen for euphonious(pleasing soft words),hopping always to not divigate(stray or digress)to what you are to become, a biblioclasm(spiritual creature) in your spirit. You are never gasconade (extravagantly boosting)in your words. But alas your neogenesis(production of knowledge )is you're falter point (stumbling point). Your forehanded(prudent or thrifty)with your language and badot(silly) in feeling, but blive(right away)in your movements. Your actions are never abscitious(additional) but the pother (fuss) you give life can be an apple knocker)ignorant or unsophisticated) and it comes to you very padsticks(very easy). Hold your kenspeck(view of one's self)to heart. Be a adroaphile (man lover)in life ,and you're always ensorcell(fascinated by someone)in man kind. Take care you might become accismus(into the opposite). Hold aponia(bodily pain at bay),and always be self mindful to never Express your arcasia (lack of self control). Becase with this will be your downfall, and but as well never be forgetful of the past for this for to previse the pain(look into the future). Blively (write away) in the intermediate and live life with an abstract vision of truth. Always remember you will never achieve a pedocock( a valve to reduce pressure) ever if you don't go to your favorite ways, being an vagarious( unpredictable behavior) rhapsodic in you motions. Remember they can watch you with their argus eye(hawks eyes)and leave you natation(swimming)in your Beoetian (dull) life. Always live life with a logomachy(a discussion of words)going,for with this comes success.
Apr 27, 2019
Apr 27, 2019 at 7:50 AM UTC