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WHEN that Aprilis, with his showers swoot,                       *sweet
The drought of March hath pierced to the root,
And bathed every vein in such licour,
Of which virtue engender'd is the flower;
When Zephyrus eke with his swoote breath
Inspired hath in every holt
and heath                    grove, forest
The tender croppes
and the younge sun                    twigs, boughs
Hath in the Ram  his halfe course y-run,
And smalle fowles make melody,
That sleepen all the night with open eye,
(So pricketh them nature in their corages
);       hearts, inclinations
Then longe folk to go on pilgrimages,
And palmers  for to seeke strange strands,
To *ferne hallows couth
  in sundry lands;     distant saints known
And specially, from every shire's end
Of Engleland, to Canterbury they wend,
The holy blissful Martyr for to seek,
That them hath holpen, when that they were sick.                helped

Befell that, in that season on a day,
In Southwark at the Tabard  as I lay,
Ready to wenden on my pilgrimage
To Canterbury with devout corage,
At night was come into that hostelry
Well nine and twenty in a company
Of sundry folk, by aventure y-fall            who had by chance fallen
In fellowship, and pilgrims were they all,           into company.
That toward Canterbury woulde ride.
The chamber, and the stables were wide,
And well we weren eased at the best.            we were well provided
And shortly, when the sunne was to rest,                  with the best

So had I spoken with them every one,
That I was of their fellowship anon,
And made forword* early for to rise,                            promise
To take our way there as I you devise
.                describe, relate

But natheless, while I have time and space,
Ere that I farther in this tale pace,
Me thinketh it accordant to reason,
To tell you alle the condition
Of each of them, so as it seemed me,
And which they weren, and of what degree;
And eke in what array that they were in:
And at a Knight then will I first begin.

A KNIGHT there was, and that a worthy man,
That from the time that he first began
To riden out, he loved chivalry,
Truth and honour, freedom and courtesy.
Full worthy was he in his Lorde's war,
And thereto had he ridden, no man farre
,                       farther
As well in Christendom as in Heatheness,
And ever honour'd for his worthiness
At Alisandre  he was when it was won.
Full often time he had the board begun
Above alle nations in Prusse.
In Lettowe had he reysed,
and in Russe,                      journeyed
No Christian man so oft of his degree.
In Grenade at the siege eke had he be
Of Algesir, and ridden in Belmarie.
At Leyes was he, and at Satalie,
When they were won; and in the Greate Sea
At many a noble army had he be.
At mortal battles had he been fifteen,
And foughten for our faith at Tramissene.
In listes thries, and aye slain his foe.
This ilke
worthy knight had been also                         same
Some time with the lord of Palatie,
Against another heathen in Turkie:
And evermore *he had a sovereign price
.            He was held in very
And though that he was worthy he was wise,                 high esteem.

And of his port as meek as is a maid.
He never yet no villainy ne said
In all his life, unto no manner wight.
He was a very perfect gentle knight.
But for to telle you of his array,
His horse was good, but yet he was not gay.
Of fustian he weared a gipon,                            short doublet
Alle besmotter'd with his habergeon,     soiled by his coat of mail.
For he was late y-come from his voyage,
And wente for to do his pilgrimage.

With him there was his son, a younge SQUIRE,
A lover, and a ***** bacheler,
With lockes crulle* as they were laid in press.                  curled
Of twenty year of age he was I guess.
Of his stature he was of even length,
And *wonderly deliver
, and great of strength.      wonderfully nimble
And he had been some time in chevachie,                  cavalry raids
In Flanders, in Artois, and Picardie,
And borne him well, as of so little space,      in such a short time
In hope to standen in his lady's grace.
Embroider'd was he, as it were a mead
All full of freshe flowers, white and red.
Singing he was, or fluting all the day;
He was as fresh as is the month of May.
Short was his gown, with sleeves long and wide.
Well could he sit on horse, and faire ride.
He coulde songes make, and well indite,
Joust, and eke dance, and well pourtray and write.
So hot he loved, that by nightertale                        night-time
He slept no more than doth the nightingale.
Courteous he was, lowly, and serviceable,
And carv'd before his father at the table.

A YEOMAN had he, and servants no mo'
At that time, for him list ride so         it pleased him so to ride
And he was clad in coat and hood of green.
A sheaf of peacock arrows bright and keen
Under his belt he bare full thriftily.
Well could he dress his tackle yeomanly:
His arrows drooped not with feathers low;
And in his hand he bare a mighty bow.
A nut-head  had he, with a brown visiage:
Of wood-craft coud* he well all the usage:                         knew
Upon his arm he bare a gay bracer
,                        small shield
And by his side a sword and a buckler,
And on that other side a gay daggere,
Harnessed well, and sharp as point of spear:
A Christopher on his breast of silver sheen.
An horn he bare, the baldric was of green:
A forester was he soothly
as I guess.                        certainly

There was also a Nun, a PRIORESS,
That of her smiling was full simple and coy;
Her greatest oathe was but by Saint Loy;
And she was cleped
  Madame Eglentine.                           called
Full well she sang the service divine,
Entuned in her nose full seemly;
And French she spake full fair and fetisly
                    properly
After the school of Stratford atte Bow,
For French of Paris was to her unknow.
At meate was she well y-taught withal;
She let no morsel from her lippes fall,
Nor wet her fingers in her sauce deep.
Well could she carry a morsel, and well keep,
That no droppe ne fell upon her breast.
In courtesy was set full much her lest
.                       pleasure
Her over-lippe wiped she so clean,
That in her cup there was no farthing
seen                       speck
Of grease, when she drunken had her draught;
Full seemely after her meat she raught
:           reached out her hand
And *sickerly she was of great disport
,     surely she was of a lively
And full pleasant, and amiable of port,                     disposition

And pained her to counterfeite cheer              took pains to assume
Of court,* and be estately of mannere,            a courtly disposition
And to be holden digne
of reverence.                            worthy
But for to speaken of her conscience,
She was so charitable and so pitous,
                      full of pity
She woulde weep if that she saw a mouse
Caught in a trap, if it were dead or bled.
Of smalle houndes had she, that she fed
With roasted flesh, and milk, and *wastel bread.
   finest white bread
But sore she wept if one of them were dead,
Or if men smote it with a yarde* smart:                           staff
And all was conscience and tender heart.
Full seemly her wimple y-pinched was;
Her nose tretis;
her eyen gray as glass;               well-formed
Her mouth full small, and thereto soft and red;
But sickerly she had a fair forehead.
It was almost a spanne broad I trow;
For *hardily she was not undergrow
.       certainly she was not small
Full fetis* was her cloak, as I was ware.                          neat
Of small coral about her arm she bare
A pair of beades, gauded all with green;
And thereon hung a brooch of gold full sheen,
On which was first y-written a crown'd A,
And after, *Amor vincit omnia.
                      love conquers all
Another Nun also with her had she,
[That was her chapelleine, and PRIESTES three.]

A MONK there was, a fair for the mast'ry,       above all others
An out-rider, that loved venery;                               *hunting
A manly man, to be an abbot able.
Full many a dainty horse had he in stable:
And when he rode, men might his bridle hear
Jingeling  in a whistling wind as clear,
And eke as loud, as doth the chapel bell,
There as this lord was keeper of the cell.
The rule of Saint Maur and of Saint Benet,
Because that it was old and somedeal strait
This ilke
monk let olde thinges pace,                             same
And held after the newe world the trace.
He *gave not of the text a pulled hen,
                he cared nothing
That saith, that hunters be not holy men:                  for the text

Ne that a monk, when he is cloisterless;
Is like to a fish that is waterless;
This is to say, a monk out of his cloister.
This ilke text held he not worth an oyster;
And I say his opinion was good.
Why should he study, and make himselfe wood                   *mad
Upon a book in cloister always pore,
Or swinken
with his handes, and labour,                           toil
As Austin bid? how shall the world be served?
Let Austin have his swink to him reserved.
Therefore he was a prickasour
aright:                       hard rider
Greyhounds he had as swift as fowl of flight;
Of pricking
and of hunting for the hare                         riding
Was all his lust,
for no cost would he spare.                 pleasure
I saw his sleeves *purfil'd at the hand       *worked at the end with a
With gris,
and that the finest of the land.          fur called "gris"
And for to fasten his hood under his chin,
He had of gold y-wrought a curious pin;
A love-knot in the greater end there was.
His head was bald, and shone as any glass,
And eke his face, as it had been anoint;
He was a lord full fat and in good point;
His eyen steep,
and rolling in his head,                      deep-set
That steamed as a furnace of a lead.
His bootes supple, his horse in great estate,
Now certainly he was a fair prelate;
He was not pale as a forpined
ghost;                            wasted
A fat swan lov'd he best of any roast.
His palfrey was as brown as is a berry.

A FRIAR there was, a wanton and a merry,
A limitour , a full solemne man.
In all the orders four is none that can
                          knows
So much of dalliance and fair language.
He had y-made full many a marriage
Of younge women, at his owen cost.
Unto his order he was a noble post;
Full well belov'd, and familiar was he
With franklins *over all
in his country,                   everywhere
And eke with worthy women of the town:
For he had power of confession,
As said himselfe, more than a curate,
For of his order he was licentiate.
Full sweetely heard he confession,
And pleasant was his absolution.
He was an easy man to give penance,
There as he wist to have a good pittance:      *where he know
Ashley Chapman Sep 2017
In pubs with bar flies.
Kronenburg, Becks, Carling, Stella Artois and Fosters,
Dancing in our blood,
Utterly inured; we are endured by all:
The solipsism most profound.

And when Johnnie, Jack and Jameson join,
The sentimental and the morbid
Are conjoined.

And ****!
In the custody of beer halls,
The shadows that draw, fade,
And calls – e’en Death’s! -- are put on hold!
No time; instead, before the last, another pint.

For in this hallowed inn,
Drinking what’s in the glass,
And espousing the glow within,
Cares regress.

No woes,
Or loaded psyches,
For when the pressure builds,
The best: a jet of yellow bliss,
Relieves the pain,
On Armitage Shanks' porcelain.
Quinn's is pub in Camden. Armitage Shanks a ****** & toilet manufacturer.
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2020
.perhaps in my company we wouldn't be... opening a bottle of red wine... to let it breathe... or pouring it into a bowl to give it more air to breathe with: otherwise on life-support machine through the bottle-neck... right here, right now, we have... a glass bottle of beer (13, guinness hop lager) and 4 cans of stella artois (the wife beater's lager, so they say)... yes... beer in cans... for all intesive purposes - a good way to transport beer... in aluminium cans... but we're not bums... we don't drink beer straight from cans... we pour our beer into a tall glass and wait... so the beer can exfoliate like aladdin's jinn in the glass... away from the confines of the can... we don't drink beer from a can... we can drink it straight from a bottle... but if it comes in a can... we pour it into a tall glass... just so... so there's some head on top... we're not english in that respect either... of cutting the head (of foam) off the beer... which is probably why i always order a stout in a pub... you can't pull one without the creme de la creme on top... a head on a beer is what makes it look less like carbonated **** or concentrated lemonade... we're not bums... we drink beer from glasses... never directly from cans - the metal gets in the way... a beer like a wine needs to breathe too.

i found that there are only two types of music styles
that are suitable for drinking -
that's... drinking and not going out -
playing a cat with an imaginary fireplace...
the less imaginary fireplace being:
a stare confined to... watching a pillow...
and the general schematic of a bed...
and sitting hunched in imitation: all crow because
no crow doesn't get you far
on golgotha of daydreams: if only i...
humble servant of dusty feet - the tourist,
the pilgrim - would set off...
         on an amphetamine riddled skew into
a messiah complex adventure...

                     but not me...
                once upon a time the only music
worth drinking to was the blues...
            a long, long time ago...
                hell: once upon a time any music
would do if we all decided to go dancing...
or at least waited for the dance to come of its own
volition and not mine: i.e. the me in i would
just be dragged under the teasing waves
and slurped out to sea...

                   a thousand waves are all but the single
tongue of some swindling kraken...
drinking and random shamanic interludes in
the youth of the night-club...
when there wasn't a tally for score or...
the ones shot down by manfred...
good thing he was called manfred...
   and not some swabian helmut! oi oi!
                                             von Richthofen!
and that was when...
           until came the five beers and on
the 4th it became apparent...
                                  the red garland quintet...
soul junction...

   and it's not... a gerry mulligan's night lights...
piano sentimentality and the ode
to all things urban, cosmopolitan...
                        yes... it's not grenadine in that
sulk of yours... it's cranberry juice...
the city and... the sewers and...
                                 jazz for the urban scenes
of: anywhere but the park...
the graveyard... a choo-choo slowing into
a station... and billy joel come:
mid-life crisis and a new york state of mind...
while over 'ere we have...
     teasing the woods: where concrete ends
and mud begins... thus we can have our Adam...
and...

only today i was walking past his bride...
doing my odd citizen duty of recycling glass...
and buying the amber sedatives (carbonated)
for an evening with some cannonball adderley
or some donnie byrd... or a horace silver...
that's the beauty of jazz...
the music is all there is... the names come and go...
sonny rollins and the story behind
the bridge... and how he would pretend to
but not pretend to... retire and go off and practice
on the bridge so as to not disturb his neighbours...
all the details are there: on the vinyl sleeve
from 1963...

now that's jazz... i don't even want to mind
how pretentious this might sound...
but... it doesn't in that: jazz is jazz in that there
might come some great improv. -
after all: it's all somewhat improv. -
   but you can't really make such basic
generalißations...
        speedy-shoom-of-a-choo-choo whizzing past...
schematic!
   classical music is all a priori...
                              jazz... it's all a posteriori...
how? when people phone in between
1pm and 5pm to classic.fm and they make requests...
they sometimes ask for something specific...
but usually... they vaguely allude to... a feeling...
something "uplifting" - play something "uplifting"...
ergo... there's this... a priori "item"(?)
in the music that's... an expectation...

          i do know what jazz sounds like
a quintent: drums, bass, piano, trumpet, sax...
yes... the guitar... asking the algorithm:
a quintet is five - what is six?
        sixtet - d'uh... sextet... well that's the basic
"i know what jazz sounds like"...
but with jazz there's always this lag...
it's this lagging behind:
    i don't exactly know what i'll feel until
only after i've heard it and in the meantime too...
jazz is all a posteriori -

while classical music for me is all a priori...
given that... it's not exactly improvised:
there's the orchestra, the movie, the script...
   and it's such a music that doesn't worship
itchy fingers of improv. - the stale or rather:
the head-about-to-explode of scoring the music like
a dissected **** of beef...
the cuts for the violins the cuts for the woodwinds...
more so: the almost shy drumming...
the wet-drumming... like rain playing
rattle fingers on tin (roofs)... or what rain would
sound like... if it was made from sand...
either way... jazz is a baggage...

hardly any sort of envisioning a journey from
(a) priori through to (b) posteriori -
and at least with jazz... you never have to really
cite who's playing... in a passing gesture
for all necessary bookmark purposes
of: where i am in the library of jazz...
unlike in classical music... where...
it's either Mozart, Beethoven or then again...
some obscure composer... perhaps ola glejlo...
but it's less about the music per se:
it's about the music of THE composer...
bonus marks for keeping to a rigid diet of one
and completing the herculean task of digesting
his entire oeuvre...

-       so i was walking past the most usual scene...
a car stopped... and she got out...
she must have been no more than 16 pushing 18...
the heavy make-up hid her otherwise boyish
contorts... a short black dress...
and as she got out of the cab...
she had her high-heel shoes in her hands...
   she was walking the cement barefoot...
i peered into her eyes... the lights were out...
perhaps her soul was screaming - perhaps this was
her first disappointment - and it was only... what...
not even 10pm on a saturday night...
my nights of youthful regret usually came after 3am
having to wrestle a berserker...
or how a dog looks like when it takes
to beer with a fond heart and only three legs...
god forbid but "they" would also cut my tail off
to further throw me off balance...
the walked passed and i looked into the cab...
a very, very nervous asian was looking at me
and then her... this didn't exactly look like...
she was ***** or was fighting to escape...
           aren't those scenarios usually stage in and around
woods - without any pedestrians walking past?
call it a trainwreck a carwreck...
                      or just running mascara...
that bad, eh?
at this point... society is a cruise ship...
and i'm stuck with ottis and none of that sentimentality
of the dock: running away with a bag of
chips wrapped in newspaper away from
seagulls... who... are apparently prone
to kleptoparasitism - a real thing... i swear to god...
the animals that want to eat in the realm
of trans-species... dogs have had their
kleptoparasistism repressed: crumbs from the table...
the chicken bones with hopes for
cartilege and someone who... is bad at
cleaning the flesh off the bone: pucker up...
move aside leech... watch this slurp...
ol' hank mobley and wayne shorter...
        one cascade after another...
5th beer in and...

yeah... so that's what a carwreck looks like...
for a girl in her late teens...
the cute black dress...
   getting out of the cab holding her high heels...
walking home barefoot...
she wasn't crying just yet...
but i could see puffy tender demon baron
of the soft cheeks readying to turn into
medussa's stare-grip... but not there yet...
this must have been her first time at "life"
and the night life and saturday...
         the cab driver looked scared shitless...
as if frozen in time... about to have his photograph
taken by a more sensible shadow of his...
i did think she just escaped a bad
session of prostitution...
but not even prostitutes look so ******* gloomy
as she did...

the ******* ***** it up -
the pundit ***** it up - the show goes on...
stage or no stage... an audience or no audience...
those eyes though... not yet crying...
but they felt... like wheeping oysters nonetheless...
you know when eyes are like that...
teasing bulging out... they appear dimmed
at first... but that's a dimming before
the sparkle of tears...
it's the 29th of febuary - yes...
mr. zodiac wasn't kind to those who still believe
in the horoscope but never tried
gambling on a winning team or horse...
it's still winter and those poor feet of hers...
she must have told the cab driver to stop...
hell... half a mile before she would get home...
a 6ft2 115kg sore thumb up with a beard
up ahead: stop! let me walk past him...
that's why i gave an inquisitive stare at the cab driver...
the cab driver was looking at me...
aren't the **** victims the ones jumping
out of the cab as it speeds off or whatnot?
so this was... staged?
              i read the "situation" wrong...
well no... i didn't find a lancelot in me...
there was no door to be held open...
           not tonight...
                                           i was in a mood for
beer and jazz... and luckily for me...
marvel of all marvels...
     haig club (1627) was sold at a bargain...
                        down from 25 quid to 16 quid...
goodbye excessive drinking the cheap *****...
hello: clubman haig... is it whiskey...
is it ms. amber... or is it chanel no. 5 -
                   is it whiskey or is it a perfume?
a snapper of a dinner standing-up...
   the scent of the last bite still on my moustache
even though i had washed my teeth...
the beer bottle opened - a drizzle on the hand
and then the hand smearing the liquid all over
the stinking hairs from an unwelcome scent...
i don't mind stinking like hops...
                  but hops is better than smelly food...

- regrets? ah yes... the "what if" universe at large...
that "whaf if" this and "what if" not...
"what if" yes and... when a man takes to walk
the street at night... he's only looking for empty
streets and... the hope of not seeing his reflection:
which is never about abruptly stopping
a cab and taking your shoes off
and walking in a tight-knit black dress
having met the world and...
                     was it heartbreak or just...
disappointment that... there are no unicorns
and she isn't daddy's precious?

any of the rudy van gelder editions...
                      "what if" i had more than just these
words... a barren wasteland of a flat
with no furnishings, not a book to call it a genesis
of a private library... not a single record
to play... no bed no curtains...
and she was the: honey-catch and snare and...
what if i were still in my late teens and
didn't have these invisible tattoos of historical
dates and the tattoos that riddle bones
that are... "habits of hygiene"...
      by hygiene i imply: ontological fixtures...
immoveable objects of accumulating my mortal
years for this formal circumstance of
the worst magic trick of all...
                   transient and... packaged elsewhere...
apparently going nowhere...

if this was a truly urban scenario...
but we're talking essex...
the outskirts of greater london...
if i bothered myself tonight i might go
to a place where i'd sit on a throne of a stump
of oak and listen to owls...
spot a rabbit, spot a badger... the foxes would
come of their own accord...
and perhaps even a deer or two... or three...
there's no glit of a picaddily circus romance:
when a girl decides to get out of a cab early
and put her porcelain toes on the wintry cement...
as if: supposing she be enticing me...
as i was thinking about the scared-shitless
cab driver...        

to have once upon a time believe in love:
the sort of love you'd see in movies...
but that's of course...
before you'd get a chance to see love...
in opera...
blue pill red pill... spiderweb of fiction...
blah blah...
watch the sort of love in movies...
then go and see an opera...
most notably verdi's la traviata...
  the movies fizzle out and you don't really
need to read this to begin with...
        i was in love once...
it was a love that was in love with itself...
          a mirage a carrot on a stick...
probably something akin to this sort of impromptu...
rescuing a girl walking barefoot home...
oh sure... happens almost every other saturday...

- the beer is for these musings, for the jazz
and for... cleaning the kidneys and a work-out
for the bladder... the shot-at-a-crescendo
will come with the haig club whiskey...
is 70cl really worth 25 quid?

- there's a difference between food with a USE BY date
and food with a BEST BEFORE date...
most notably goat's cheese...
once the best before date expires...
which is way way down the line from
the use by date... the cheese starts to taste
like... ash...

i should know since i know of the alternative
to doing shots of tequilla...
the salt is replaced with licking some cigarette
ash...
the tequilla is replaced with *****...
and the slice of lemon is replaced with
black peppercorns...

so i do know what ash tastes like...
piquant tastes: this omelette of an octopus and
of tongue...

- society is a cruise ship and i'm waving it goodbye...
welcoming a sunset of a sea as calm
as a mirror... telling my feet to take root
and stand... inaccessible...
otherwise... i am barren when it comes to having
some (h. p.) lovecraftian sensibilities from
maine... aloof and anemic... anemic with bloodshot
eyes...

- of course she isn't a mystery...
the narrative would run: the little match girl...
hans... hans! hans?! hans andersen is drilling
a hole into my head about... a woman walking
home barefoot...
yes... but she is walkig home...
unlike the little match girl...
and unlike the little match girl...
this girl was carrying a pair of shoes with her...
it's not my problem whether
i'm the sore thumb that "got in the way"...
a fork in the road: like any other fork...
like any other road...

do you have to reach being 34 to see these
teenage break-ups and regrets come and bump into
you after you've done...
that most spectacular feat of towing a backpack
full of glass for recycling?
where is one to recycle bones?!

- right not all the ***** in the world is...
something of an adhesive... a hitchhiker pollen...
a hard-on of: ****** yourself for a hard-on
just because even flapping a pancake will do right now...
to ease constipation whenever necessary...

- it's a torilla... but it's wrapped like a burrito...
well... it's a torilla... kultur shock -
sarajevo - the entry level shock-awe and
blitzkrieg of drinking from the fountain
of the Haig...

- second tier... to treat pornographic movies
like... early cinema... silent...
otherwise a return to the magazine form...
and the ripe imagination readied for:
improv... or... when was the last time
my left hand didn't feel like an oyster...
and an oyster didn't feel like a leash...
and a woman's ****** stopped being
an hour worth 120 quid? -

             - third tier... the haig club whiskey
is not worth 25 quid... it's over-rated...
you're basically paying for the bottle...
i'll stick to my guns...
only the irish know how to make whiskey
on these isles... bushmills: mellow, tame...
the picts have decided to lodge
a smoking salmon into their barrels to die...
i'm supposed to have an aftertaste of vanilla...
with all that smoke... i'd be happy to taste
hungary and smoked paprika! that would
be a bonus to boot! -

- i can appreciate the picts for trying...
but let's just leave brewing whiskey to the irish...
and let's keep the english away from hops...
they'll make an undrinkable ale from it...
never the lager...

   - armed with balkan rock... standing before
the h'american monolith of tongue and culture...
or... just before what's filtered for the export...

- no... of course i don't think h'americans are dumb...
i just think there's only a naive majority...
i'm going to find the vermin and huddle among
them...

- sooner or later we'll be calling the germans
come spring... for winter provisions...
"keeshond" or: hund... i much prefer the latter...
from under the iron curtain forged from
a broken jaw when biting the curb of:
under the silicon veil... nowhere else to go...
beside Ishrael...
                        
          remains of the ottoman - which is hardly
me put into an iron maiden of akimbo...
where's the geisha and the samurai?!

- is your beard long enough?
      like mine... i tease it... catch it with braille
cardinals: the thumb the index and middle fingers...
twirl it... wait for some thread to tie it together
into a hanging ******* of a bundle...
while at the same time:
          before you... a throng of vermin...
this beard... a magic flute!
the zenith of my thinking...
and ultimately: the nadir of any narrative
that might be inclined to escape and
not become 3D...

- i listen to songs in german...
i put on airs of pride - my chin starts to contort into
the moon's scythe and sickle...
even if the night is overcast with beard,
or cloud...

- then i put on a record that's 20 years old...
deftones' white pony...
and i remember being a teen...
hungry for hormonal diet...
a diet to stop the bones from aching
as they grew extra sprouts:
adverse to the skin and photosynthesis...
bones that were expected to grow
entombed... not in flesh...

- sketches from the gasoline additive when
it comes to a beer, starter...
otherwise: elite... gonna breed on top
of the general... pucker up the tremor for a vibrato
kiss and leech her lips off...
to expose her most pristine:
todlächeln -
                           not a chelsea grin...
the joker lapse... i mean... extending the shaving
lines and just, completely, forgetting there's
any botox involved to grow a peach
from a duck of the reinvention of
the deflating balloon...

   leave no selfie without it...
                   herr grinsen: die / das / die / das...
i keep forgetting the definite plural and
the definite singular... feelz... feels...
maximum impromptu: das bösartigwimmern...
anything in german at this point...
sounds better than...
wenigbruder englisch...
                       dies, mein krawatte beste...
alle schwarz alle weiß:
      say to me... nein pinguine willkommen...

anything to keep these mosquitos these
zeppelins away... alt vater großartig Schwab
from this... herd of minor dicta
of the children of the house of ßaß...
translated nomad from the high pressure
***** basin of:
later, trajectory... later... the yawn and canyon...
and the sky above...

- beer first... whiskey after...
shrapnel... and gasoline... no car... no speeding...
fast but otherwise still walking...

            - a hurrah and the cohort of a hum...
to match the echo of the centipede...
         the silence and otherwise the simplified
complications of a conversation...
the bed torn between *** and sleep...
between saturday sunday and monday through
to friday...
   and the need to drink with someone else...
"the need"...
          
the skulls breaks at the sight of sea-riddled-and-*****
cliffs... daggers persuaded to be forever sharpened...
the fiddly parts of ***** as accountants when
it came to the pennies, copper, and granules
of sand... seized: the rivers of time...
constipated shock value elevated...
                            
                                am i to find a lover when
the orchestra tells me...
these words will never find a dear sir / madam
or circle round for a yours sincerely...
                godzilla... the theme i remember from
the days when the japanese still had control over the beast...
otherwise... an overweight t-rex with...
arm extensions... the lotus feet of the chinese...
which also includes...
the savory diet of... tendering dog meat...
i.e. beating the dog to a plum softening...
which is: then again... not curing the already dead
curated meat...
life aware needs to be involved...
brick by brick brick on brick...
the status quo: made in china...

         cheap whiskey... although in an expensive bottle...
that is the haig club whiskey...
        so much for ezra pound admiring
the ******* ideograms...
what's to admire... when...
it ends up being a crude...
current latin emoji-infiltrated grafitti
equivalent to: CUL8R...
               chow-chuckle-mein-hong-shui-chew?
all that intricacy into the ideogram...
and all that remains is...
bat soup... and an advantage at playing
poker... omnivores...
you'd think that Islam would be...
more geared to break ranks among the omnivores...
like all the fickle gods... a good joke...
they abhor / are told to herd sheep
because: what sort of pig would survive the desert
and not become crispy bacon...
camels are fine too... as are their testicles...
never mind the pork leather shoes and pork
leather belts...
but the chinese omnivores are fine by
Allah: Muhammad & Co....

                               khadijah **** khuwaylid..
wrote the first surahs of the quran...
she was the literate:
the stephen vizinczey epitome:
                          in praise of older women...
last time i heard... muhammad was illiterate...
pray! that i've exhausted sympathy on
him being an orphan...
but not a ******* oliver twist thrown into
an orphanage! b'ooh h'oo...

                     the end... the whiskey isn't going
to drink itself;
as i have exhausted the patience of my bladder...
while there's the remaining concern
for a bewildering and a simultaneously
bewildered peacock... on the hunt for coy;
which is not exactly the darwinian daydream
of the short-hand greek alphabet...
the α-β male thermodynamic...
          the Σ-Δ female harem...
salmon swimming up-stream to spawn...
                             and... Ω-man / unicorn...
                     sha! schtil!
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2016
i.

my writing is truly one thing, my life another - not
that's a statement clouded in excuses and guilt:
just the claustrophobic macabre -
and so it happens, that every few days i reach
the limit with wrestling the Minotaur -
the time comes when the liver k.o.s the brain
and the brain then starts punching the liver -
it usually stars in the afternoon, e.g. yesterday,
at 3 in the afternoon, a burrowed sense of guilt
comes over, cigarettes are rolled and chain-smoked...
a promise of not painting the front of
the house is the overpowering weight on the heart -
as is an ably bodied father: who, i might
as the source of my writing capacity: the silence -
but the day flows through... the excess nicotine
adds to the shakes, the detox period begins
with a big meal: chinese pork belly in five spice
and other additives, peppers, spring onions
until a thick goo sauce is cooked slowly to thicken...
served with 'it's called egg fly lice, you plick!'
(Uncle Benny, lethal weapon 4) -
the meal is ate as if a ****** ****** - this is
really the point of critically approaching the
concentrated detox - binge of television,
drinking orange squash and smoking -
playing some stupid video game between watching
an even worse movie - before the saga of
x files begins... at 5 a.m. with the most annoying
feline opera by the most annoying ginger cat
begins... the shades are drawn and the hours between
5 a.m. are spent in a quasi somatic state -
the pain in the brain is too strong to allow you
a kipper without the sedative being dragged from
the body: taking sleeping is avoided -
the blinds in the room don't have blackout plastic,
by 6 a.m. a t-shirt is rolled up and put against
the eyes, the eyes adjust to the light until 7 a.m.,
the body gets up and goes downstairs for more
orange squash, but this time breakfast is stomached,
yesterday's leftover rice, fresh eggs scrambled
and mixed with spring onion -
                                                     cigarette, and a daytime
news channel - Victoria Derbyshire -
the main topic of concerns? only 12% of Paraolympic
Rio tickets have been sold, a charity having raised
about £25,000 wants to sponsor Rio's children
to join in the fun... housing shortages in England,
Redbridge council buying social housing in
Canterbury (once a military base) - 7 people living
in one room (the Romanian standard is
14... you have to remember night shifts) -
oh i seen houses like that, i remember one Jew renting
out his house to 20 / 30 Poles before the Union
expanded... paid of his mortgage... no new reality
here for me... the major misdiagnosis of heart attacks
in women on the N.H.S.: a woman ate a curry,
thought it was only a heartburn... boom, two days
later drops in agony... in between the real
results of the detox... sitting...
not ******* out whiskey yellow ***** when there
are barely any toxins in the body... diarrhoea...
up to about 8 times on the toilet - more orange squash,
more cigarettes... then onto the piece the resistance...
the x files... which last up to about the twilight zone
hour of having reached the 24 hour mark of being
awake... one last **** and then shower, and
then doing the laundry (on a sunny day like this,
it would be a shame not to)...
                                                   at noon
tinned mackerel in sunflower oil... brown bread,
all the oil drank... but by the twilight zone hour
a realisation: ****! my headphones are broken!
i've been walking around these streets with those
very depressing sounds of vrroom vrroom...
i know how the old complain about the youth
and their headphones... yes, but you probably
grew with about 10 cars per hour passing your
house back in the day... and too the birds could
be beautiful, and the sound of children's games
and golden laughter... but all the other sounds...
so off to the shop for a very respectable £1.50 pair...
and then the moment when all the sights
on the streets are no longer synchronised with
what i'm hearing, my eyes sharpen and i dance
past the cars and people never bothering to press
the crossing lights on streets: ease the traffic,
ease the traffic... then into the supermarket and
the detox ends... i can go back to sleeping a decent
night... a bottle of Stella... the only thing sexier
on a hot summer's day on the street... good old,
good cold Stella Artois...
then up to another shop for two more beers and
tobacco...
                        after that? magic...
as the title suggests: on a park bench with Ernie -
something more grand than Beckett's waiting
for Godot
... i.e. something resembling a scene from
Patriarch's Ponds, an encounter with
Mikhail Alexandrovich Berlioz (editor of a highbrow
literary magazine, abbreviated MASSOLIT)
and a young poet Ivan Nikolayich Poniryov -
a few clues to the less knowledgeable parties:
Behemoth ***** and chess, a book that makes
sense of the world interrupted by Herr Woland's
wonderful delights (among many), such
as the notable pandemonium at Ivan Savelyevich
Varenukha's Variety Theatre -
yes very much akin to Hector B.'s:
symphonie fantastique: dream of a witches' sabbath.

ii.

sincerest apologies... the sedative hasn't been bought
yet, and a patient father's invoice for work
done on the construction must be written in tangible
English - in ref. to the uttermost sincerity -
Polski nadal w mej duszy dudni,
                            taki ogrom organów i
                                         bębnów twki -
           że strach pomyślec - czy to wir zamkniętej
historii ludu: czy poczatek gorszych prwad o świecie?
   bo co o zamkniętej historii (skrawku) ludu?
      to przeciez moj dziad'ek w Partii uslugi dawal!
      a kraj podziekowal - i co Prawda to Walesa
   na Florydzie z lwa w zlota rybke sie zamienil.
   (comp. diacritic
                                                       ­                                 pending)

iii.

as i knew, i should have finished this poem on
the principle of ensō - all in one piece -
thus i would have staged what happened on the bench
with Ernest -
                        but after walking to the supermarket
minding my own business and the jokes ensued
about how no one notices, how they know my name
as it's their mascot -
                                   after walking into a world
i found chaos; indeed if i wrote the poem on principle
of ensō, i would have included the phantasmagorical
details of something so simple you could almost cry at it...
the simplicity of it, the fluidity of almost 2 hours
spent in conversation... about what? i'm not telling,
and how was it spoken? i'm not telling either -
let's just they laughed at Ernest's bike, because
it was proper oldie...
                                     i mean, i won't mention the odd
details, but the essence? forget it man!
after writing my father's invoice, and how cut money
on the construction site, blame it Romanians but only
have themselves to blame with their model
of profiteering and that ****** fetish they have
Che's socialism of guerrilla warfare...
                            and the comments in the supermarket,
it just stuck with me about Ernie's bike,
nothing in comparison to the Tour de France's racers
doing up to 50kmh...
                                      it just made me happy to make
a clean bed... and prevent 36 hours awake threshold
glitches of abstraction: black strings and random
square objects popping out of nothing with me in a
variation of nervous startles... Ernest's bike?
an antique, a 1950s Raleigh...
- hard leather seat beneath that modern overcoat?
- yes; no one would even take it if i left it
  outside a shop, they'd probably sell it for parts.
- well, unless someone is smart enough to notice
  a vintage, and tries to restore it,
  buy the vintage green paint and cover the rusty bits.
oh **** it, i can't keep my own company to suit
being happy by saying: ooh, doesn't know a joke,
the happiest he felt after walking out with a stone heart
was making a bed... but to be honest?
psst... i haven't made it in over a month... last night i
was getting cold-heat shivers in the idea of it being *****
enough though i shower everyday... ok, every other day
sometimes, my socks have holes in them, and my
shoes are ripped.
but there's more to this... the bicycle is a pun
of a Heidegger maxim: man is born as many men...
but dies as a single man... imagine how many
influences are entombed in us, the education reformers
to begin with, motherhood tips, cot deaths...
but we die as individual men... so when Ernest said
about the bicycle being only worth spare parts,
i said what Heidegger meant: but i'd take the whole thing
as one.
- how many gears?
- three at the back, one at the front; you see this thing?
- the long tube beneath the seat?
- yeah, when charged it would power up the front
   and back lights.
- oh, i'm used to seeing that thingy-madgit that you'd
   press against the front tire and the principle would be
   the same.
- a dynamo.
- yeah, a dynamo, forgot the name of it.
it started so innocently, i just sat on the bench with my
earphones and two beers and started rolling a cigarette.
- may i invade the bench?
                                               (earphones out of the ears)
- sure.
                and we just sat there, i asking if he minded me
smoking.
- i used to, loved it, esp. after dinner, gave it up 15 years ago.
  then conversations about dogs, family,
                                         and children's games,
          i said
- i'm finding it hard to find people of my generation with
even friendly dynamic of the body: eye contact is gone!
- it's all the fidgeting on those ****** tablets and phones,
when we were kids we used to play marbles,
conkers, hopscotch, so many...
- and we used to draw a racing maze, fill bottle caps
with plasticine and flick them through the maze
(i can't remember if we threw dice to see how many
moves we could make).
  by the time we started talking about the dogs we liked,
and compared them to the dog walkers passing us
   we already forgot who died today: it was Gene Wilder...
the world is mourning him, and we sat there
and the best i could come up with was Richard Pryor.
- dumb animal luck...
- you know how i managed to train my dog to run
  around the park, but come back to me? i used a whistle
  to get the dog to come back and i'd give it a treat.
  until it got the hang of it, i sometimes wouldn't give it
  a treat... other times i would, the point being was
  to teach it both obedience when nothing was given
  and double obedience when something was.
- ever heard of Pavlov? he basically did the same thing,
  but your experiment had coordinates, it was three-dimensional,
  Pavlov's was just two-dimensional, instead of a whistle
  he used a bell... just to stimulate two senses
  as coordinated, the sound of a bell created saliva
  in the dog's mouth, poor dog received treats
  but in the end Pavlov put him in a car with closed
  windows in the middle of summer outside
  of Parliament square; obviously the dog died.
- German shepherd though... i had a friend, naturally
  obedient.
- could walk a German shepherd through Manhattan
  without a leash.
- exactly, not even half a metre away, and when the
  master stops, the dog stops.
(i started thinking, what a great way to invert theology,
in this way from dogs to gods.)
well... i guess there was more, but if i write more
about it, when i'll reflect upon this chance meeting of
complete strangers as more insightful than it
already was...
                         he managed to climb back on his bike
with a slight problem after his hip-replacement
operation... at 74 such things break... and he rode off
and i sat there trying to think about what the hell
i was thinking after watching the x files to find
something insightful...
                                        well, i got one thing,
i mentioned it before... i could never have believed
that adults created the most nightmarish version
of hide (negate) & seek (doubt) -
                   i thought it was just as bad as
  truth & dare with religion - with that motto:
          the Koran: this is the truth, and the only truth...
so truth or dare? i dare you to deny it!
                    can i just doubt it? you know, not be
a definite unbeliever, but an indefinite quasi-believer?
well doubt in the stated quasi-believer is wavering,
isn't it? the two of the most beautiful games of
innocence, morphed into these gargantuan abominations.
Drinking a stale beer
that I snuck out of the fridge
I feel so grown up

I am here alone
struggling to open this
was a bad idea.
Jude kyrie Oct 2016
Stella

She awoke up on a bench in times square
She tried to remember who she was but nothing no name or family nothing.
Panicking she looked for a wallet or purse something with a clue to her ID.
She could say words in English but no familiar memories.
A beer truck passed by it had big advert even the side for the beer it contains
It said STELLA ARTOIS she needed a name she would use Stella as hers until she remembered her own.

A man came up to her and said you alright lady
you been sat there all night.
Err ...yes I think so I just can't remember anything
Nothing? he said  she shook her head.i have no ID nothing in my my pockets and no purse.
I see he said do you want me to take you to the hospital or police.
Just the mention of police brought a resounding NO not the police.
He was handsome and kind
he said look I can take you to my place if you like.
It's just two blocks walk.
Perhaps after you eat and rest you will remember
I can't leave a pretty lady like you out here.
She looked into his kind face
he was about thirty five handsome and well dressed
with piercing blue eyes.
She said would you mind I am so hungry and tired.
He took her arm gently and they walked to his apartment.
Then she looked into his bathroom mirror
her face was pretty her hair neatly styled
and dark red lipstick and grey eyes
with carefully applied eyeshadow she was pretty if not beautiful
yet she was a stanger to her.
She told him to call her Stella he introduced himself as Adam.
She slept all night
after her fed her a large plate of spaghetti with meat ***** it was so good. she drank a glass  of wine and they talked four a while.
He said he was divorced and single and if she liked she could stay at his place until her memory came back and she went home again.
The mention of home scared her she told him.
Home and police sent shivers.
Six weeks turned into three months and nothing changed.
Well almost nothing he fell in love with her.
He did not tell her of course
she was way too pretty for him out of his league really.
But she liked him that's for sure
she even kissed his cheek
when he took her shopping
and bought her several dresses and a coat.
It was not the kiss  he craved from her but still a kiss.
They walked together in the city
went to the theatre and movies
and took drives out of the city
to have a picnic lunch or eat at a wayside cafe.
He did not remember feeling as happy ever.
It was Christmas tide they watched
the tree being lit in the city it was beautiful
and he took her to watch the christmas show at radio city.
She was watching the leggy showgirls
and she said I know this place I am  remembering it.
His heart sank what if she remembered and then the biggie
What if she had to go home and leave him he was desolate.

But he smiled and said that's a good sign stella it's coming back.
She went back to the radio city the next day and waited at the stage entrance a group of pretty showgirls arrived for practice.
One came over to her Janie she said? Stella looked up and half knew the girl.
They are looking for you honey everywhere
Who she said I don't remember
Your husband and the police
she gave her her name Janie Evans.
She told her where she lived
she was a dance choreographer at the radio city.

She went home to her own place taking a cab
It was an apartment in a old walk up
She started to remember
fear caught her chest as she knocked on the door.
A big man answered he was angry looking.
Well well lookie who's  here it's back.
A drunken woman was in the room in her bra and pants.
Who's this she yelled it's just a ***** a  I married he sneered.
Who have you been ******* ***** he yelled.
You gone Nine ******* months without a word.
She did not see the fist as it hit her face.
Blood flowed from her nose
she fell and he kicked her in her ribs.
Then threw her down two flights of stairs
She lay at the bottom a woman screamed as the Brutish man came down the stairs to continue her beating.
A young policeman heard the scream
and went inside the man was kicking the prostrate lady in the ribs.
He drew his weapon and shouted
stand back but the man drew his boot back
and went to kick her head a deadly blow.
He shot twice the first a flesh wound in his arm
the second passed through his heart
he fell on the floor in a heap
he had hit his wife for the very last time.

She was in a coma at the hospital for six days
Her face bandaged she had four broken ribs a dislocated shoulder and a broken arm and leg.
When she awoke the room was empty she thought where am I but it all flooded back in waves she had been late from work he was angry where you been you ******* ***** he hit her and she fell back banging her head on the wall
Then she ran and ran not even picking up the purse on the table.
Then the park bench in times square
the truck Stella Artois ….Stella.
And Adam
oh her Adam her gentle friend she loved him so much.
Then she saw him he had sat with her on vigil all night every day since he phoned all the hospital in new York city and found her when she did not come home.
He had tears in his eyes and finally said what was overflowing in his sweet heart. Oh Stella thank God I have prayed for you made deals with God to save you. I love you honey
She looked into his beautiful eyes and saw all the love that heaven can bestow on one heart. I love you too my darling my sweet adam.

A year later

They went for the lighting of the Christmas tree now a new York tradition for them.
Adam  held his beloved  wife
close to him no one could ever hurt a single hair
on her head ever again.
She felt protected and loved.
Then as the first snowflakes fell in New York
Silent night was sang beautifully by a children's choir.
the magical Christmas  lights too many to count lit up the sky.
Their baby girl stirred in her stroller
...Stella... Janie cried to her little girl
look at the beautiful tree

And way way above them a wise old moon looked down on the old city
And added another beautiful love story with a happy ending
to its everlasting collection.*that it kept hidden deep inside his tender heart
Aww is it me but don't you love happy endings
Jude
anne collins Jan 2013
Neon Stella Artois lights and sly hellos
It commenced as we were flew spinning
Ticket stubs and ink -stains
Oh, as our love flirted we both were seeking
Brooklyn Subway stops and ***** clothes
We perched by the equator but only when beginning
Backwards flasks and *******
Then winter solstice was challenged by spring’s springing
Strands of soft pearls and wishing wells
We shivered the anxious touch of a faux July summer’s evening
Empty bar stools and firelight
It was still bitterly February but with the mockery of songbirds floating
Two Thirty Seven A.M. and sea shells
How can the world deceive us in this fashion: fools, we accept ever-knowing
Buttered bread and hindsight
Dawn will crash with frostbite and these daisies will pay the price of their beauty’s sinning
Wine before noon and payphone bills
Wind will eviscerate this moment for once you have touched the sun the ice is more than suffocating
Dry heaving and ribbons
We were only waiting then at the heart of a train station for the stretches of shadows to lengthen
First drags of cigarettes and blue diet pills
The glitter within the dew drops stolen from our tired eyes when our first summer was stolen
Cheap motels and kitchens
We could barely exchange syllables, our melodies quarreling, our blood had thinned
Calendar pages and black lace *******
The euthanasia of the spring would have hung us too if we had breathed it in
The Last calls and lollipops
One can repose more gently in the absence of color than in the theft of sin
Bitten manicured hands and autumn leaves
We used to sleep in a room with wonders, windows, and blankets within
Midnight whispers and rooftops
It was the only place that could soften the swords in all this ruin
****** wrappers and painting supplies
Today is cruel, it cannot be summer if the world doesn’t spin
Happy hour cocktails and goodbyes
Andrew Rueter Nov 2017
We live in the unlighted state of America
Where what happens when we turn the lights off
Is dealt with darkness
And matters of delicate touch
Are treated with sharpness
When our only language
Is to inflict anguish
We cut connections in the bedroom
To clear our cynical head room
For contempt and judgement

People looking for a feeling to fall into
Or a reason to live
Must face frigid climates
When the public invades privacy
And ill fated ****** exploits
Pervade salacious tabloids
Our ****** regrets
Cut the deepest
Society reaps them
Sowing us together with resentment
We provide each other with relief
But not the relief we're looking for
We give each other hours of relief
Until those useless hours become days
And those fruitless days become years
That engender endless tears
As it remains warm in our car
But the winter outside freezes anything that breaks the plane
And our air conditioning only helps so much
When the spinning wheels are in our faces

There is a national coverage in the media
That presents a bleak picture of the ****** health of America
I feel I sit somewhere in between
*** offenders and a disgusted public
When I observe the observers
Who are too scared shitless to ever face their own emotions
Judge those for overindulging in their emotions
They lived their life in fear and safety
So they could be the righteous ones
To admonish the risk takers and mistake makers
Yet they are of the least value to humanity
They're the people who grade all your answers as incorrect
Without providing their perfect alternatives
While trying to erase the context
Because of what the context has to say about society
People feeling that they can never be emotionally vulnerable
Until they experience sheer desperation
And no dollar contract
Can replace human contact
Yet we give men so much money and power
And ask them to feel fine in our cold shower
Until we are soiled by their intention
A nation committed to selling Stella Artois
A nation full of Blanche DuBois

Humanity folds in on itself
When we attack with ***
Humanity does itself a disservice
By not trying to understand these attacks honestly
We forsake forgiveness
And embrace desperation
Until we become unbearably desperate
For attention
For approval
For ****** contact
For money
For validation
And sometimes our desperate desires become tangled
I'd like to think of that as love
And not a meeting between two practical rapists
That conjoin in the middle
Yet somehow come out distorted on the other side
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2015
yeah, they cut out my third ****** from my shoulder blade and i turned into a bond girl; oh god, you're not one of those bulletproof people confused about love like a nurse confused by a disease? you are? oh god help me... you'll go far! straight to daddy's pocket purse and saturday night... you'll throw stilettos at chandeliers and expect a catwalk blackout... god forbid that should happen with everyone biting their toenails.*

between us we share the bathroom
and the bedroom,
we sit on the stilt framing see-through of it admirably
airy and welcoming stars:
wishing for foxes and women respectively,
all you can hear is a meow... meow... meow...
meow meow... moo... µ... meow... meow interchange
between these two rooms in the garden air,
it’s like a fetish orchestra giving ‘prior to sleep’ crescendos,
and it makes sense to write a forgivable poem
of this least content, content with the least as me writing it;
well d'uh, of course i had to write it,
i wasn't going to stage a boxing match with stella artois
losing care for words and taking care of action,
i was going to mediate the page like a kite being passed
on with paddington bear's secret inscriptions to get from
london to sydney; i hope it worked.
the drunkard? oh... he's either silent, crying, laughing,
or simply reading.
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2015
me? i have no bond shares in terms of lying,
i have no profit...
i walk the streets at night painting a canvas
with only brown hue offshoots:
first it’s three bavarias,
then it’s a stella artois,
then a cobra,
after that a belgian leffe blanc,
i finish off with a saint michael from spain...
after that it’s barcode whiskeyh at 10.30 a bottle...
between khaki and tawny?
well, there’s ochre and there’s sepia...
there’s carbonated synopia and there’s slave hydroxy-loss rufous...
all shades of brown set againt st. andrew’s cross...
shadows in the fog i too tamed japan in spring
rather than in the wilderness of the seas among the waving waves
of the mongol invasion planned...
oh care less for me in my attention for an escapism...
it spans the lodgings of jailor and the strutting bars
as it might in 2d iv slash through to v....
i am wed to my past... i have not clear value for tomorrow...
because, after all, cats and dogs are cheaper to keep than women
obviously enough true and sad thus.
about that litmus testing i entitled this poem?
£110 prostitutes will not lie concerning having an ******,
i wish i had a bigger phallus to have one-night-stands...
bed more women...
but given the size of mine, the prostitutes i try to be familiar with
in an hour for £110 will ask for an extra £10 to give them oral ***...
and among them only one had an ******,
the rest didn’t fake it... they they just numb from not having it...
it humbling i might add... to pay for something numbing
and see what other cares have failed when tried...
it’s sobering to see a ******* worth £110 an hour...
and not see it translated into self-esteem of an orgsam
due to the fact that one’s phallus was not big enough
to provide an intimate relationship
of the objectification of an hour...
that’s what’s so ardently lost in me...
in wish for relationships that only last a night...
i have sacrificed the only relationship i could have had...
spanning beyond the blue of the moon once noted and thus lost:
******* envy? not so much, casual-envy of what can easily reclaim
a morbid frequency of the repeat and dis-satisfaction...
any shred of egoism can thus be discarded,
when it comes to ******* sizing...
i also have this defense mechanism like a turtle shell or
a hedgehog at a barbers... the freudian madonna-***** complex
splintering... an impotence mechanism...
when given the chance for a one-night-stand...
ironic you might say... not that macho said anything concerning bicep or tricep
to be worried about on the same magnitude... macho didn’t,
so i acknowledge when to speak and not feel un-concerned for the right reasons.
I


Les prêtres avaient dit : « En ce temps-là, mes frères,

On a vu s'élever des docteurs téméraires,

Des dogmes de la foi censeurs audacieux :

Au fond du Saint des saints l'Arche s'est refermée,

Et le puits de l'abîme a vomi la fumée

Qui devait obscurcir la lumière des cieux.


L'Antéchrist est venu, qui parcourut la terre :

Tout à coup, soulevant un terrible mystère,

L'impie a remué de profanes débats ;

Il a dressé la tête : et des voix hérétiques

Ont outragé la Bible, et chanté les cantiques

Dans le langage impur qui se parle ici-bas.


Mais si le ciel permet que l'Église affligée

Gémisse pour un temps, et ne soit point vengée ;

S'il lui plaît de l'abattre et de l'humilier :

Si sa juste colère, un moment assoupie.

Dans sa gloire d'un jour laisse dormir l'impie,

Et livre ses élus au bras séculier ;


Quand les temps sont venus, le fort qui se relève

Soudain de la main droite a ressaisi le glaive :

Sur les débris épars qui gisaient sans honneur

Il rebâtit le Temple, et ses armes bénites

Abattent sous leurs coups les vils Madianites,

Comme fait les épis la faux du moissonneur.


Allez donc, secondant de pieuses vengeances,

Pour vous et vos parents gagner les indulgences ;

Fidèles, qui savez croire sans examen,

Noble race d'élus que le ciel a choisie,

Allez, et dans le sang étouffez l'hérésie !

Ou la messe, ou la mort !» - Le peuple dit : Amen.


II


A l'hôtel de Soissons, dans une tour mystique,

Catherine interroge avec des yeux émus

Des signes qu'imprima l'anneau cabalistique

Du grand Michel Nostradamus.

Elle a devant l'autel déposé sa couronne ;

A l'image de sa patronne,

En s'agenouillant pour prier.

Elle a dévotement promis une neuvaine,

Et tout haut, par trois fois, conjuré la verveine

Et la branche du coudrier.


« Les astres ont parlé : qui sait entendre, entende !

Ils ont nommé ce vieux Gaspard de Châtillon :

Ils veulent qu'en un jour ma vengeance s'étende

De l'Artois jusqu'au Roussillon.

Les pieux défenseurs de la foi chancelante

D'une guerre déjà trop lente

Ont assez couru les hasards :

A la cause du ciel unissons mon outrage.

Périssent, engloutis dans un même naufrage.

Les huguenots et les guisards ! »


III


C'était un samedi du mois d'août : c'était l'heure

Où l'on entend de ****, comme une voix qui pleure,

De l'angélus du soir les accents retentir :

Et le jour qui devait terminer la semaine

Était le jour voué, par l'Église romaine.

A saint Barthélémy, confesseur et martyr.


Quelle subite inquiétude

A cette heure ? quels nouveaux cris

Viennent troubler la solitude

Et le repos du vieux Paris ?

Pourquoi tous ces apprêts funèbres,

Pourquoi voit-on dans les ténèbres

Ces archers et ces lansquenets ?

Pourquoi ces pierres entassées,

Et ces chaînes de fer placées

Dans le quartier des Bourdonnais ?


On ne sait. Mais enfin, quelque chose d'étrange

Dans l'ombre de la nuit se prépare et s'arrange.

Les prévôts des marchands, Marcel et Jean Charron.

D'un projet ignoré mystérieux complices.

Ont à l'Hôtel-de-Ville assemblé les milices,

Qu'ils doivent haranguer debout sur le perron.


La ville, dit-on, est cernée

De soldats, les mousquets chargés ;

Et l'on a vu, l'après-dînée.

Arriver les chevau-légers :

Dans leurs mains le fer étincelle ;

Ils attendent le boute-selle.

Prêts au premier commandement ;

Et des cinq cantons catholiques,

Sur l'Évangile et les reliques,

Les Suisses ont prêté serment.


Auprès de chaque pont des troupes sont postées :

Sur la rive du nord les barques transportées ;

Par ordre de la cour, quittant leurs garnisons,

Des bandes de soldats dans Paris accourues

Passent, la hallebarde au bras, et dans les rues

Des gens ont été vus qui marquaient des maisons.


On vit, quand la nuit fut venue,

Des hommes portant sur le dos

Des choses de forme inconnue

Et de mystérieux fardeaux.

Et les passants se regardèrent :

Aucuns furent qui demandèrent :

- Où portes-tu, par l'ostensoir !

Ces fardeaux persans, je te prie ?

- Au Louvre, votre seigneurie.

Pour le bal qu'on donne ce soir.


IV


Il est temps ; tout est prêt : les gardes sont placés.

De l'hôtel Châtillon les portes sont forcées ;

Saint-Germain-l'Auxerrois a sonné le tocsin :

Maudit de Rome, effroi du parti royaliste,

C'est le grand-amiral Coligni que la liste

Désigne le premier au poignard assassin.


- « Est-ce Coligni qu'on te nomme ? »

- « Tu l'as dit. Mais, en vérité,

Tu devrais respecter, jeune homme.

Mon âge et mon infirmité.

Va, mérite ta récompense ;

Mais, tu pouvais bien, que je pense,

T'épargner un pareil forfait

Pour le peu de jours qui m'attendent ! »

Ils hésitaient, quand ils entendent

Guise leur criant : « Est-ce fait ? »


Ils l'ont tué ! la tête est pour Rome. On espère

Que ce sera présent agréable au saint père.

Son cadavre est jeté par-dessus le balcon :

Catherine aux corbeaux l'a promis pour curée.

Et rira voir demain, de ses fils entourée,

Au gibet qu'elle a fait dresser à Montfaucon.


Messieurs de Nevers et de Guise,

Messieurs de Tavanne et de Retz,

Que le fer des poignards s'aiguise,

Que vos gentilshommes soient prêts.

Monsieur le duc d'Anjou, d'Entrague,

Bâtard d'Angoulême, Birague,

Faites armer tous vos valets !

Courez où le ciel vous ordonne,

Car voici le signal que donne

La Tour-de-l'horloge au Palais.


Par l'espoir du butin ces hordes animées.

Agitant à la main des torches allumées,

Au lugubre signal se hâtent d'accourir :

Ils vont. Ceux qui voudraient, d'une main impuissante,

Écarter des poignards la pointe menaçante.

Tombent ; ceux qui dormaient s'éveillent pour mourir.


Troupes au massacre aguerries,

Bedeaux, sacristains et curés,

Moines de toutes confréries.

Capucins, Carmes, Prémontrés,

Excitant la fureur civile,

En tout sens parcourent la ville

Armés d'un glaive et d'un missel.

Et vont plaçant des sentinelles

Du Louvre au palais des Tournelles

De Saint-Lazare à Saint-Marcel.


Parmi les tourbillons d'une épaisse fumée

Que répand en flots noirs la résine enflammée,

A la rouge clarté du feu des pistolets,

On voit courir des gens à sinistre visage,

Et comme des oiseaux de funeste présage,

Les clercs du Parlement et des deux Châtelets.


Invoquant les saints et les saintes,

Animés par les quarteniers,

Ils jettent les femmes enceintes

Par-dessus le Pont-aux-Meuniers.

Dans les cours, devant les portiques.

Maîtres, écuyers, domestiques.

Tous sont égorgés sans merci :

Heureux qui peut dans ce carnage,

Traversant la Seine à la nage.

Trouver la porte de Bussi !


C'est par là que, trompant leur fureur meurtrière,

Avertis à propos, le vidame Perrière,

De Fontenay, Caumont, et de Montgomery,

Pressés qu'ils sont de fuir, sans casque, sans cuirasse.

Échappent aux soldats qui courent sur leur trace

Jusque sous les remparts de Montfort-l'Amaury.


Et toi, dont la crédule enfance,

Jeune Henri le Navarrois.

S'endormit, faible et sans défense,

Sur la foi que donnaient les rois ;

L'espérance te soit rendue :

Une clémence inattendue

A pour toi suspendu l'arrêt ;

Vis pour remplir ta destinée,

Car ton heure n'est pas sonnée,

Et ton assassin n'est pas prêt !


Partout des toits rompus et des portes brisées,

Des cadavres sanglants jetés par les croisées,

A des corps mutilés des femmes insultant ;

De bourgeois, d'écoliers, des troupes meurtrières.

Des blasphèmes, des pleurs, des cris et des prières.

Et des hommes hideux qui s'en allaient chantant :


« Valois et Lorraine

Et la double croix !

L'hérétique apprenne

Le pape et ses droits !

Tombant sous le glaive.

Que l'impie élève

Un bras impuissant ;

Archers de Lausanne,

Que la pertuisane

S'abreuve de sang !


Croyez-en l'oracle

Des corbeaux passants,

Et le grand miracle

Des Saints-Innocents.

A nos cris de guerre

On a vu naguère,

Malgré les chaleurs,

Surgir une branche

D'aubépine franche

Couverte de fleurs !


Honni qui pardonne !

Allez sans effroi,

C'est Dieu qui l'ordonne,

C'est Dieu, c'est le roi !

Le crime s'expie ;

Plongez à l'impie

Le fer au côté

Jusqu'à la poignée ;

Saignez ! la saignée

Est bonne en été ! »


V


Aux fenêtres du Louvre, on voyait le roi. « Tue,

Par la mort Dieu ! que l'hydre enfin soit abattue !

Qu'est-ce ? Ils veulent gagner le faubourg Saint-Germain ?

J'y mets empêchement : et, si je ne m'abuse,

Ce coup est bien au droit. - George, une autre arquebuse,

Et tenez toujours prête une mèche à la main.


Allons, tout va bien : Tue ! - Ah. Cadet de Lorraine,

Allez-vous-en quérir les filles de la reine.

Voici Dupont, que vient d'abattre un Écossais :

Vous savez son affaire ? Aussi bien, par la messe,

Le cas était douteux, et je vous fais promesse

Qu'elles auront plaisir à juger le procès.


Je sais comment la meute en plaine est gouvernée ;

Comment il faut chasser, en quel temps de l'année.

Aux perdrix, aux faisans, aux geais, aux étourneaux ;

Comment on doit forcer la fauve en son repaire ;

Mais je n'ai point songé, par l'âme de mon père,

A mettre en mon traité la chasse aux huguenots ! »
LJ Chaplin Aug 2013
That stuff called alcohol,
Wow what a mess,
The healer of tension,
The reliever of stress.

Clouding the brain,
Intoxicate the senses,
Together they're deadly
As they both drop their defences.

Bottles on the bedside,
Cans on the floor,
Stella Artois is watching
In a bin by the door.

Have a shot of Russian water,
And see where you end up,
Either stumbling on the streets,
Or topping up another cup.

The controller of minds,
The master of confusion,
The leader of disaster,
The commander of delusion.

Oh sweet, sweet alcohol,
You cure me when I'm not sober,
But one more swig from a bottle of Jack,
And it's **game over.
Le Meurtre, d'une main violente, brise les liens
Les plus sacrés,
La Mort vient enlever le jeune homme florissant,
Et le Malheur s'approche comme un ennemi rusé
Au milieu des jours de fête.
Schiller.

I.

Modérons les transports d'une ivresse insensée ;
Le passage est bien court de la joie aux douleurs ;
La mort aime à poser sa main lourde et glacée
Sur des fronts couronnés de fleurs.
Demain, souillés de cendre, humbles, courbant nos têtes,
Le vain souvenir de nos fêtes
Sera pour nous presque un remords ;
Nos jeux seront suivis des pompes sépulcrales ;
Car chez nous, malheureux ! l'hymne des saturnales
Sert de prélude au chant des morts.

II.

Fuis les banquets, fais trêve à ton joyeux délire,
Paris, triste cité ! détourne tes regards
Vers le cirque où l'on voit aux accords de la lyre
S'unir les prestiges des arts.
Chœurs, interrompez-vous ; cessez, danses légères ;
Qu'on change en torches funéraires
Ces feux purs, ces brillants flambeaux ; -
Dans cette enceinte, auprès d'une couche sanglante,
J'entends un prêtre saint dont la voix chancelante
Dit la prière des tombeaux.

Sous ces lambris, frappés des éclats de la joie,
Près d'un lit où soupire un mourant étendu,
D'une famille auguste, au désespoir en proie,
Je vois le cortège éperdu.
C'est un père à genoux, c'est un frère en alarmes,
Une sœur qui n'a point de larmes
Pour calmer ses sombres douleurs ;
Car ses affreux revers ont, dès son plus jeune âge,
Dans ses yeux, enflammés d'un si mâle courage,
Tari la source de ses pleurs.

Sur l'échafaud, aux cris d'un sénat sanguinaire,
Sa mère est morte en reine et son père en héros ;
Elle a vu dans les fers périr son jeune frère,
Et n'a pu trouver des bourreaux.
Et, quand des rois ligués la main brisa ses chaînes,
Longtemps, sur des rives lointaines,
Elle a fui nos bords désolés ;
Elle a revu la France, après tant de misères,
Pour apprendre, en rentrant au palais de ses pères,
Que ses maux n'étaient pas comblés.

Plus ****, c'est une épouse... Oh ! qui peindra ses craintes,
Sa force, ses doux soins, son amour assidu ?
Hélas ! et qui dira ses lamentables plaintes,
Quand tout espoir sera perdu ?
Quels étaient nos transports, ô vierge de Sicile,
Quand naguère à ta main docile
Berry joignit sa noble main !
Devais-tu donc, princesse, en touchant ce rivage,
Voir sitôt succéder le crêpe du veuvage
Au chaste voile de l'***** ?

Berry, quand nous vantions ta paisible conquête,
Nos chants ont réveillé le dragon endormi ;
L'Anarchie en grondant a relevé sa tête,
Et l'enfer même en a frémi.
Elle a rugi ; soudain, du milieu des ténèbres,
Clément poussa des cris funèbres,
Ravaillac agita ses fers ;
Et le monstre, étendant ses deux ailes livides,
Aux applaudissements des ombres régicides,
S'envola du fond des enfers.

Le démon, vers nos bords tournant son vol funeste,
Voulut, brisant ces lys qu'il flétrit tant de fois,
Epuiser d'un seul coup le déplorable reste
D'un sang trop fertile en bons rois.
Longtemps le sbire obscur qu'il arma pour son crime,
Rêveur, autour de la victime
Promena ses affreux loisirs ;
Enfin le ciel permet que son vœu s'accomplisse ;
Pleurons tous, car le meurtre a choisi pour complice
Le tumulte de nos plaisirs.

Le fer brille... un cri part : guerriers, volez aux armes !
C'en est fait ; la duchesse accourt en pâlissant ;
Son bras soutient Berry, qu'elle arrose de larmes,
Et qui l'inonde de son sang.
Dressez un lit funèbre : est-il quelque espérance ?...
Hélas ! un lugubre silence
A condamné son triste époux.
Assistez-le, madame, en ce moment horrible ;
Les soins cruels de l'art le rendront plus terrible,
Les vôtres le rendront plus doux.

Monarque en cheveux blancs, hâte-toi, le temps presse ;
Un Bourbon va rentrer au sein de ses aïeux ;
Viens, accours vers ce fils, l'espoir de ta vieillesse ;
Car ta main doit fermer ses yeux !
Il a béni sa fille, à son amour ravie ;
Puis, des vanités de sa vie
Il proclame un noble abandon ;
Vivant, il pardonna ses maux à la patrie ;
Et son dernier soupir, digne du Dieu qu'il prie,
Est encore un cri de pardon.

Mort sublime ! ô regrets ! vois sa grande âme et pleure,
Porte au ciel tes clameurs, ô peuple désolé !
Tu l'as trop peu connu ; c'est à sa dernière heure
Que le héros s'est révélé.
Pour consoler la veuve, apportez l'orpheline ;
Donnez sa fille à Caroline,
La nature encore a ses droits.
Mais, quand périt l'espoir d'une tige féconde,
Qui pourra consoler, dans se terreur profonde,
La France, veuve de ses rois ?

À l'horrible récit, quels cris expiatoires
Vont poussez nos guerriers, fameux par leur valeur !
L'Europe, qu'ébranlait le bruit de leurs victoires,
Va retentir de leur douleur.
Mais toi, que diras-tu, chère et noble Vendée ?
Si longtemps de sang inondée,
Tes regrets seront superflus ;
Et tu seras semblable à la mère accablée,
Qui s'assied sur sa couche et pleure inconsolée,
Parce que son enfant n'est plus !

Bientôt vers Saint-Denis, désertant nos murailles,
Au bruit sourd des clairons, peuple, prêtres, soldats,
Nous suivrons à pas lents le char des funérailles,
Entouré des chars des combats.
Hélas ! jadis souillé par des mains téméraires,
Saint-Denis, où dormaient ses pères,
A vu déjà bien des forfaits ;
Du moins, puisse, à l'abri des complots parricides,
Sous ces murs profanés, parmi ces tombes vides,
Sa cendre reposer en paix !

III.

D'Enghien s'étonnera, dans les célestes sphères,
De voir sitôt l'ami, cher à ses jeunes ans,
À qui le vieux Condé, prêt à quitter nos terres,
Léguait ses devoirs bienfaisants.
À l'aspect de Berry, leur dernière espérance,
Des rois que révère la France
Les ombres frémiront d'effroi ;
Deux héros gémiront sur leurs races éteintes,
Et le vainqueur d'Ivry viendra mêler ses plaintes
Aux pleurs du vainqueur de Rocroy.

Ainsi, Bourbon, au bruit du forfait sanguinaires,
On te vit vers d'Artois accourir désolé ;
Car tu savais les maux que laisse au cœur d'un père
Un fils avant l'âge immolé.
Mais bientôt, chancelant dans ta marche incertaine,
L'affreux souvenir de Vincennes
Vint s'offrir à tes sens glacés ;
Tu pâlis ; et d'Artois, dans la douleur commune,
Sembla presque oublier sa récente infortune,
Pour plaindre tes revers passés.

Et toi, veuve éplorée, au milieu de l'orage
Attends des jours plus doux, espère un sort meilleur ;
Prends ta sœur pour modèle, et puisse ton courage
Etre aussi grand que ton malheur !
Tu porteras comme elle une urne funéraire ;
Comme elle, au sein du sanctuaire,
Tu gémiras sur un cercueil ;
L'hydre des factions, qui, par des morts célèbres,
A marqué pour ta sœur tant d'époques funèbres,
Te fait aussi ton jour de deuil !

IV.

Pourtant, ô frêle appui de la tige royale,
Si Dieu par ton secours signale son pouvoir,
Tu peux sauver la France, et de l'hydre infernale
Tromper encor l'affreux espoir.
Ainsi, quand le Serpent, auteur de tous les crimes,
Vouait d'avance aux noirs abîmes
L'homme que son forfait perdit,
Le Seigneur abaissa sa farouche arrogance ;
Une femme apparut, qui, faible et sans défense,
Brisa du pied son front maudit.

Février 1820.
Francesca Jan 2014
I know where each of your 13 tattoos are
Even if I don't know what some of them mean.
I know your middle name
And that your dad wanted it to be your first.
We could stay up until 5am
While you sung along passionately to our favourite songs.
You always kept a ready stock of Stella Artois in the fridge
In preparation for coming home after a tough day at the office.
I know that you had dreams of being a pilot
You never told me why you couldn't be one
I know it upset you.
You have that small scar on your torso that never fully healed
After a night out got a bit out of hand.
You don't like smoking
Except when you're drunk or just after ***.
I know that we have the same favourite movie.
I remember how passionate you could be
How determined
How confident
I loved that about you.

I hope I am remembering correctly
Because I miss all these things and more.
ehxpen Nov 2018
i want to go back to the nights
by the lake and under the stars
smoking **** and drinking stella artois
i want to go back to the nights
the summer nights
with you
all my poems are real experiences so pls apprieciate <3
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2015
christianity acknowledges its prime lesson
only when laws of the land are in place
and effectively disposed of,
easily done when the culprit in prison
lazing about, easily done there
like john paul ii, to forgive once in the zoological
jurisprudence enclosure, easily done there,
but outside?
my prime culprit who harmed
sat with me during english class shoulder to shoulder,
who chanced a poetic expression
at the end of secondary schooling,
who i played a happy birthday on the guitar:
who’s mother i could have adored as my own,
who i would have waited for hours on end
till our meeting...
but alas that wasn’t to be...
the prime suspect inflicted me with a fake mental disorder...
one i was trying to be rid of over these past eight years,
the woman who craved so much love she encountered
in the poker discard that she only could enclose the one
given by first stripping the man’s caution of the ******,
to later ingest anti-pregnancy pills,
ask the man to buy an engagement ring...
and then stop taking the contraceptive pills
in order to feed the lie of the pills’ placebo...
the friend of childhood, the lawyer decided to
outstretch and become a judge...
of not noble origin he now stands in his profession
outside the bird cage hearing law...
with his own encounter now solidly expressed
by dodging bullets that might hit him but never do...
so is my ode through?
nah... i have an insolent crowd to deal with...
the mockers and magpies
like it was a yacht i had in my hand or a diamond...
******* and fast cars are not the only worthy reward...
the last time i’ll trust a woman
it’ll be my mother speaking her epithaph with assured death...
then i’m through...
but i hope to drink myself to death... like a true writer would care
to mind a legacy...
i don’t mind... i have “morally superior” stoners
franchise on the smoky ****...
they resolved the matter by calling all alcoholics
the stella artois crew...
throw in some metabolic facts and you tend to forget
alcohol is a calorie intake...
the homosexuals couldn’t take it...
even the homosexuals broke down...
all the trans-gender fancies gave the homosexuals legality
and a step into sanity...
it’s odd, years of stigmatised homosexuality
gone within years... acceptance speeches,
heretosexuals siding with the arguments of homosexuality:
trans-gender is too much, even for us!
baphomet rose up in his chariot with **** that
could not be milked unless pouring of celluloid
and gave birth to minature barbies and kens...
but what really breaks my heart is the sheer anonymity
in the mechanics of democracy...
voting in democracy is like *******...
in the x-booth... and then the quick exchange of power
lasting five years... it seems no one is responsible anymore...
quickly implemented and as quickly signed off
without a legislation of worth signature...
i had this dream last night...
i was making love to this ****** girl (someone has to,
as burroughs said: you in for sloppy seconds
or the starter of chaotic emotion when acknowledging
a sexuality of the otherwise hermaphrodite teen mind?),
then i started to paint with blood soaked phallus on a wall
and then started urinating blood on the wall of emerging graffiti...
in the other room people were shouting: but she’s only a child!
but she’s only a child!
then a girl and a boy entered the room i was in...
and from their hands placed in my hand
four necklaces... ****** mary medallions
that placed, in my head, were heavier than expected.
in reality i tried to use my phallus as a scalpel on first attempt...
so why mutilate the girl if the ****** curtain can be cut?
such are the times that it has never felt more
ridiculous to allow women the freedom with the rich male hares
and the subsequent freedom of settling down
with some dumb schmuck ******* when the fun becomes tedious
and the biological clock echoes like the clock
in the croc's belly on peter pan island;
the last time i spotted a noble swan
i also spotted a drunk pigeon taking a **** on nelson’s head.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2015
perhaps he didn’t say the words as he might have,
perhaps satan was dyslexic and cross-eyed,
had his tongue split for a purpose,
because even though he tempted with the fruitful offering:
and you will be like the gods, able to distinguish
good from evil...
he forgot to mention that we were never able,
but ably knowing the archimedes stuck in the yoke of the sun
in terms of chemistry (apparent
helium-hydrogen equilibrium) and leverage dynamic,
ably allowing copernicus his mathematics...
we knew that much and performed the justification
by going against the maxim of the book of genesis
concerning how man would never differentiate himself from man
but struggle in vain...
it’s truly a dynamo effect of paradoxes that milton noticed
giving way to satanic heroism at its finest...
i know there’s a word lodged in the mouth of youth concerning perfection,
but imagine ******* a girl with a ******,
then she tells you she’s ready to take anti-conception pills
so she can have more pleasure,
she proposes to you,
you end your stay in edinburgh and return home to make money
on the roofs,
she calls you up, says she’s pregnant,
you tell her to get rid of it
because she broke of the engagement herself,
(now you’re a proper wife beater oink oink stella artois),
then she has *** with your old schoolfriend
and in a frenzy they decide to hatch a plan to **** you:
whether the impregnation story is true or not, ask the ****** mary
patron saint of contraception,
and your schoolfriend goes with the plan,
you survive the poisoning about to practice christianity,
but then the same girl calls you up while you’re busy roofing
and decides panic is better than venom or ******,
she decides to invest schizophrenia in you...
verbatim: ‘i’m hearing voices! i’m hearing voices!’
then you go mad by de facto justifications...
she just implanted a virus in you exposing you to
the existence of a symptom...
after several years you travel to where the “love” originated (edinburgh),
and remember the clothed encounter for three days solid
(seeing her so pathetic still playing video games;
although her mouth was somehow stitched up, which for
her would be rather unusual)...
you encounter the word ‘sam’ and the words ‘the best *** i ever had...’
so you reason... insects... nothing more, can i go blind now?
i don’t want to see their ugly faces in this act of pretending
they originated from monkeys knowing good from evil
to these “gods” knowing **** all about the differential lodged between
good and evil (utopian continuity), not this relativity making one good less than another
or one evil less than another is fascinating (socrates
mentioned it as the abhorrence of moral relativism) but possessing the knowledge
to craft refrigerators, aeroplanes or hammers...
well there’s a + on either side, and a - on either side too...
but the (+, -) in middle doesn’t really serve to craft definite coordinates
unless it’s (1 / yes, 0 / no);
i can only expand milton’s satanism, and that’s how it’s done:
to choose between the knowledge of good and evil,
and the knowledge between animalistic segregational brutality and human ingenuity
i’d think the guillotine was akin to a tiger’s quick ****
rather than what the hangman asserted asphyxiating when his neck didn’t break;
now you tell me your misery... about your first
encounters with love and poeticising it back into an ideology of ideals.
SpudRepublic Dec 2015
Dad
The sun on my face distracts me from my father,
as he yells in my ears how much of a disgrace I have become.
His voice, shadowed by the dark clouds that hide the sun,
becomes a tiny speck of mud. I stamp on mud on a hill run.
The smell of stella artois spills from his mouth,
as he warns me of the dangers of birthing a dark child or none at all.
His impatience grows louder, as I gaze at the white streak in the sky above,
internally questioning whether it is
A. a chemtrail, that casts nauseating ignorance, as evident by the neanderthal beside me
or
B. a magic carpet, that could transport me somewhere else; somewhere the sun shines and the clouds never have to come out.
I took the pills.
Took the long way home
Nirvana blared through heavy atmosphere

I cleaned up and took the dog outside in the rain
I watched some evening news
Continued making things nice so when the others come home they will be happy

Washed my hands, poured ice water
Took a new picture of myself
Put it online
Put on a comfy shirt
Started recording the Red Wings game
Turned off the TV
Took out my guitar
Pressed record on the smartphone laying there
Played what I played for twenty-two minutes

Did more things, making nice, getting comfy
Sat at computer
Turned on Elliott Smith's new release, "I Figured You Out"
Wrote this *******, cause I'm doing it all
Turned on "I Figured You Out" again
This time no headphones
Loud over the computer speakers
The walls need to hear this song
So does the dog
Cracked a large bottle of Stella Artois
Poured it in a glass
All so I can turn on that Red Wings game and start doing nothing at all.
Paul Hardwick Oct 2013
Artois is where art is
and I love bank'y's
for there that day
art was
and today is not at all
and to me that ment some thing.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2022
i shifted my preferences greatly, i've move away from a certain stimulant, namely? caffeine, i've abandoned it completely in the form of coffee, this one afternoon i reached my fourth cup having began drinking it in the morning: i felt like my brain was trying to jump out of my head through my forehead: a headache without a headache: strangely possible... i prefer nicotine these days: obviously i smoke less, in order to make this poison more potent, but it works just as well if not better than caffeine: since the first cigarette of the day, after a night's "fast" (i.e. sleep) gives you the disorientating buzz, whereby an awakening stimulation kicks-in...

Wennigton village near Rainham burned to the ground,
Socrates hated the sophists, Ezra Pound
hated the Taoists... me? i hate the sceptics...
pretentious thinking-they're-clever ***-wipes...
i hate the sceptics with a passion:
i don't mind scepticism: i just hate the sceptics...
i can be sceptical in a microcosm about a lot of things:
usually traffic: at a roundabout... whether or not
i will gave enough "boot-licking" strength in my feet
to make it... but scepticism soon dissipates
in me and i just: lunge into the traffic...

even with all the past news about idiotic junior doctors
who were pulled under trucks and died
because they thought cyclists were the Hindu sacred
cows of the traffic hierarchy...
i have a different approach: cyclists can make the best
traffic shepherds... literally...
i've had about 3 motorists shout at me from
their windows... gnats...
you think i didn't speed up to them and start shouting
back?
one good example... i think he was trying to impress
his girlfriend in the passenger-seat...
by the time i caught up with him
   she noticed i was mad as a boar who was fed
beetroots instead of truffles...
'come on *******! mouth off me one more
******* time! stop the car and have a fight!'
****... she already pulled up the window... so i cycled
even more ferociously until i passed them and
turned around and pulled out the middle-finger
weapon of mute expression that's easily to read
if you know what it means...

of all the motorists: there's always one ****-sure idiot:
who's probably popping erectile-dysfunction
pills to sooth his hurting ego...
ego... wow! on my bicycle today i was experiencing
something weird...
it was an IN-BODY experience...
my ego was having a conversation with my ego...
usually ego undermines...
when cycling: oh i can't go on i can't go on blah blah...
but this time round my ego was talking to my ego...
ego (a) was saying the above: that my body
can't take the strain...
but ego (b) was saying: shut the **** up...
this idiot decided to take this route: of all days...

my god! after so many years of drought... the heat-waves...
i went for lunch with my mother...
she drank a Stella Artois and had fish and chips
while i had a Guinness and a burger & chips...
we talked... oh... right... so this is what potentially
dating feels like? you go out with a woman
and talk over food?
                                thank god it was my mother:
i couldn't stomach doing with with a potential partner:
what a ****** cultural artifact of the 20th century...
**** that...
so you go to a restaurant and you talk over food...
in the meantime people do this while also
profiling themselves prior... their interests...
their dislikes... it's all a priori...
and then... it's like reading a menu...
                            you already know everything you'd
otherwise like to find out through
conversation and all the quirks of: conversation
but instead you have profiling: so you already know
what a person likes or dislikes...
can i just eat alone, in peace?
   sure... if my mother asks me to have lunch with her...
but we have seriously things to talk about...
her fathers death... my grandfather's death...
familial estrangement...
with her mother my grandmother:

i didn't know my paternal grandparents...
they abandoned my father so i abandoned a thought
of them...
they're like grey ghouls of a white night of
St. Petersburg... come the zenith of June's longest day...
but we talked an anchor-topic... a sinker...
i didn't just lose a grandfather: i lost a friend...
a tear built up in my eye: glass! glass! think of glass!
thank god: i didn't cry...
the word grandfather coupled with the word friend
is heartbreaking in the right context...

i was getting my root-canal treatment done
when i saw him last...
and then... one month later... gone...
what really hurt? that ***** of a grandmother didn't even
bother to call me to tell me something
was wrong... oh sure... she called me...
the day before he died...
i would have been at his bedside the moment
****-hit the fan...
    my hatred for women: my "hatred"? it sort of imploded...
it reversed itself...
hell... if you get a chance to hate your grandmother
for that sort of trickery... what are you going
to do? me? i just decided it was about time
to love prostitutes...
these creatures who are supposedly least deserving...
and? oh **** me: i'm having a ******* hell of a time
stealing kisses from them...

****'s sake: if someone is dying you tell people that
are your family!
no wonder i didn't think about having children
of my own: given my family's history:
it wouldn't look pretty...
i think there's a curse on my family lineage...
but sure: i can go on a lunch "date" with my mother...
there's nothing Oedipal about that...
is there?
                          i don't think so: if you think so you're (a)
weird... oh...
           but do the same thing with a woman
i'm trying to court into bedroom fun?
   oh no... that's not happening...
*** first... dinner after... i can't **** on a full stomach...
i need one bottle of cider and three sips of
whiskey and a cigarette or two...

seriously! it's an artifact of 20th century mating strategies!
anyone see a man on a horse
dressed up as a refrigerator, i.e. in full body armour
anywhere soon? maybe: sooner?!
i don't... the dynamic has changed... apart from one...
the eternal: the archetypical one:
the one i'm already suckling at...
oh... pristine! it's that expression of kissing
your index middle fingers and thumb
   joined up... kissing them and pursing your lips
and "smooching": i can't write this sound...
an onomatopoeia would be a waste of time...
and while kissing and making that "smooch"
releasing the fingers into an unfold...

                     hold on... what was i talking about?
i learnt this method from my English teacher
at Canon Palmer Catholic School (i'm not catholic...
you sort of have to be CONFIRMED to be catholic...
i was baptised unwillingly, i gave no consent)
                   Ser Tom-as Bunce! Scot... Glaswegian...
he taught by digression... oh man: he was an expert
digressionist... that should be an actual noun in
the Oxford Standard Dict. he digressed a lot...
                         his way of speaking? i think... i'm trying
to imitate by writing... oh forget that Beatnik cut-up
technique... i'm not stitching random things together:
i'm not the origins story of Tristan Tzara pulling out newspaper
clippings out of a top-hat as a Swiss counter protest
to the first world war...
i'm digressing... ooh... it's like that scene from the Lion
King with the three hyenas... DIGRESSING...
i'm DIGRESSING... say it again said one hyena to another:
MUFASA! DIGRESSION! ooh... gives me the ******* chills...

****... i've already lost the plot...
precursor summary...

- familial estrangement
- running with Justine in the rain
- cycling in the rain
- some sort of feeling
- yeah: now i know... the whole modern dating introspection
put me off course...
- there's still a cat, persisting to sleep in my bed...
- what time do i start tomorrow's shift?
4pm? it must be, it's a Thursday...
i'll finish by 11pm... eh... plenty of time to
go back to the brothel and sweet plump plum of a Michaela...
i seriously don't know what awoke my adoration
for these plump plum women...
yeah: i know... all those Renaissance paintings...
all the women were: over-nourished...
- i hate chocolate... but... if i make mint-chocolate
obviously i will not mind adding a few dark chocolate chips...

(intermission, refill, cigarette)

nicotine and the art of light-thinking...
everything about gustave doré etching of
the fall of Lucifer screams at me
to couple it with Muse's Stockholm Syndrome...
a whirlwind of gravity...
i sometimes feel it in my head...
most of the time in my groins:
my stomach is able to digest stake Tartare...

a holy trinity: Dürer... Doré...
   hmm... who was the third? i know there was a third...
painter: obviously... Rodin?

never mind... today was beautiful...
i wasn't expecting it to rain...
i'm used to cycling in hail...
little pebbles of ice hitting your body as if:
***** on the ready: pinch pinch pinch...
but this was different... a summer thunderstorm...
the rain so great by volume i overtook
uncertain motorists pulling in through lack of vision...
it was glorious: after all these heat-waves...
my session began with a cider... reclining on the fake
grass i installed with my ginger "behemoth"
(master and margarita? probably my favourite book,
no... Stendhal's the crimson and the black)

we chilled... he sneaked into my arm pit...
folding himself like a larva of a caterpillar...
grunting...
see? cats and prostitutes alike...
i'd love to see Muse live...
only for a few songs... well... a whole bunch of songs...
who was that third person i was thinking
of in that holy trinity?

Dürer... Doré... oh... wait... maybe i wasn't thinking
about a third person... who did i prefer?
the latter... although: neither are competing...
it's just a cheap-gimmick of making comparisons
of: well: whast's already available...

but the rain? splendorous! awakening!
i was the only cyclist: цyбał
left on the street... manic peddling....
i didn't listen to the weather-forecast...
me lying on the fake-grass with Quorus was
enough to justify my solipsism
that gave me energy to peddle in the adversity...
of rain that obstructed my vision....
but my god... it felt glorious...
after the heat-waves... getting drenched so much...
it reminded me of a certain summer
in Poland...
when my maternal grandmother was still
alive: while the patriarch of my maternal
side of the family died...

it was me and my auntie: we were of similar age...
it was a joke calling her auntie...
we ran into the air and seemingly ran on
water in the summer...
when the rain fell like a monsoon season finale...
barefoot on the concrete...
me and Justine...
too bad she married an ******* that
undermined my father's self-employment
subcontractor stature...
i hated him from the get-go... no ******* chin:
all sunken... top jaw exposing a gap in his lips...
i suppose he could, could... slurp a milkshake...
but if he were donning a shirt...
he'd might have to change it...
because he'd slobber any excess onto it...
a **** of a man... his parents sold saucepans
in a local market place...
they would have survived living in London
for about a week... small-town folk...
live-small: think-big!
there are many, many centres of the universe...
none have to begin with a fixation
on the solitary sun: just ask any solispist...
or don't ask any autistic crazed up frenzy of reflex...

GARKOTŁUK - a person who hits saucepans...
with no intention of becoming a Red Hot Chilli plumber...
plumber?! drummer... oh ****...

i live in a realm of familial estrangement...
me and Justine used to run barefoot in the summer rain...
come back home and get treated by our...
my great-grandmother... her grandmother:
she was my aunt mind you: but we were of similar age...
it was so much fun...
today's cycling session reminded me of those times...
hey presto: me replicating that memory: solo...
they tried living in London for a while...
instead: deciding on going back to ****** land...
opening up a laundry service in Warsaw...
i have cousins that will probably hear of me
as that "weird" cousin living in London...
  
      i have family: i don't have family...
i have a family of gold-diggers...
from my current employment... i've learned:
it's far better to love strangers than
to inherit a blood-line of two-faced
push-overs of hope...
i'm estranged from so much of my familial
ties it's no wonder i prefer the company
of strangers:
my heart has shrunk...
   to the size of a pebble...
  
                just like my grandfather predicted:
his words run along the lines:
makes your heart small... then watch how you'll
have people in your grasp!

facio vester parvus cor:
lapillus: in manus: amore mons...
a pebble in hand: a love of mountains...

familial estrangement is: weird...
what's weirder still: the capacity to loving strangers...
i don't know where this capacity was born
within me...
i simply can...mind you:
the closer i allow someone to entertain
my personal space: the more they hurt me...
best keep them at a distance...
i like cats: they don't require leashes...
just a call: come home... esp. Maine *****...
that's cats... but dogs? people?
leaches... i need leashes...

then again: i don't have a pet cat...
i have a cat companion...
lucky: ******* me not having a wife...
what would i do?
earn more money than is necessary?
i look up at the night sky and wonder:
when will my beard turn into a violin?!
i keep stroking this ****** thing like
it might be an otter:
just before a ******* strokes it back:
by then i'm: happy...

i've watched enough Bergman... that one
about a magician was my favorite:
it sort of reminded me of the French craze
for... le swashbuckle... Le Bossu...
le clapotisflampage!
two hunchbacks in one myth of a nation...

seulement Z français (not française - z'eh,
**** wit pseudo Normans)
françaí...
now i know why i didn't learn Fwench!
too many ******* surds...
letters imitating Thespians: actors of sound
missing...
    what... a ****** language...
perhaps great for thinking to echo thinking itself
via the thought of tables... chairs...
"Judases", i.e. peep-holes...
but in terms of correlating: what is spoken
with what is written?
French is the worst... English at least feels like
a terrible schizophrenic puzzle:
but one, one can work around...
Deutsche is just custard...
but French is the worst... too many surds...
just like the English stress that there are too many
consonants jumbled up in the ****** tongue...
likewise...
too many surds in the French zunge!

what?! no one who said that ever heard
of a game called ping-pong?! no? run Forrest! wun!
then again: no one knows whether i am:
or whether i'm not *******...
it'z: beautiful...
           i'll just finish early and have an early night...
thinking about Michaela for an hour...
her fat thighs and *******... all of her...
     just all of her... like i might think about a full English
breakfast after a day's worth of fasting...
even i am surprised: i like plum plump girls...
Ed Sheeran can sing his shivers song...
me? i'm doing the butcher's load of effort...
100 press-ups... readying myself for the *******...
me go Tarzan crazy feeling her legs wrap around me...
hell... bad luck...
if English girls are not willing to give it up:
living in a nation of joke-nuns...
no wonder i moved my libido elsewhere...
it's a long bye-bye... a very long bye-bye-...
my heart broke once... now?
each time it breaks: it's actually mending;
thank you Romania and your women;

figures... a nut-jobs contemplating feeding elephants
and a choice between cashews and peacans...
hmm! an impossible choice!
i'd prefer some Brazilian bite!

- hmm, the strangeness of women...
i might be a lion: but she's still playing the role
of a mantis: of hearts....
i can absorb the best genetic make-up...
Darwinism makes sense in and with nature,..
but not with man: out and without nature...
man is the epitome of nature:
without it...

             straw-blinded thrown blind-*******
into a commotion of a harvest of wheat....
before you close up your legs i'll re-open
them again:
why? because i can.
Eric the Red Mar 2018
She tells me I owe her a sea story
From my navy days...
Told her the barracuda one
Maybe I’ll tell her the Face Down
On the Deck one
Or the Smoked Hash in the Park
In Italy one
Had a guitar, 3 chords, and hash
Singing Bessa Mi Mucho to Italian
Teenagers...they loved it
I was the silly American
Or maybe the one where we got the scoop on the only ****** in that seaside town in Spain, then showed up and half the ship was there...
Or the Dunhill cigarettes of France
To go with the Stella Artois or Heineken that seemed to be prevalent everywhere.
Cause that’s what you do at 23
Drink beer, smoke cigarettes, and run a mile and a half in 12 minutes.
I could talk all day of the women of Israel...
Or all the times that I’d go to the stern of the ship
And it’d be just me and the seas
The Adriatic
The Aegean
The Mediterranean
Atlantic
Sometimes the hammerhead
The sea turtle
The midnight mermaids
Black Seas
Blue and Green
But you’ll hear all of them soon enough
Yeah I can be fun at parties cause I got a shitload of stories...
Put some coffee on...pour the wine...
You got any hash?
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2020
song in the background: bras mort - disappearing -

what the velvet underground
could get away...
without
the glitz of paparazzi...

i measure the units...
II = a bottle of 8.2% cider...
my usual diet of 4 bottles...
and some added juice...
IIII/ = 5...

that's IIII/ + III = 8...

8... grand duchess B(othered)...
somewhat...

elsewhere... ∞ ÷ 0...
well... no one really likes conversations
with "consciousness" on the fore:
the ontological grasp
of "awareness"...

more like the end of: exploits
& opinions or dr. faustroll.
pataphysician....

all that will be revealed is pata-physics...
if we're talking forms and no longer
skeletal indentations...
at fault logic and the remains...

∞ ÷ 0 = (0, 0)...
without anything being "given"
what's infinity in the copernican "sense"
of up and down...
left to right...
on the moon: where is "north" or "east"
or "west" of "south"?

ha ha... acronym: n(.)e(.)w(.)s(.)...

i'm pretty sure you can-can dance me in
on all of this...
paris was a diatribe of events:
esp. the paris when i wasn't there...

∞ ÷ 0 = (0, 0)

looks "true": again... borrowing the tactics
from german philosophers...
my second name... conrad: is a very white
name...
i beg to differ and use it as a surname, sometimes;

stanislaus: stanisław: stsanislav...
velarized - ******* santa claus and all...
it's not that difficult given
the blank english canvas...
of... sh-atter... š-atter... sz-atter -
ш-atter... on the ch-eap...
cz-eap... č-eap... ч-eap...
it's already in place...
but "we" have so many examples
when the two meet...
szczypta... soli: a pinch of salt...
so much so... practical mother...
russia...
would have us write: щ-ypta! pinch!
because there's also щ-ypać
and there's also щ-ekać...
but the russians do not have the arsenal
of the acute letters:
again.. the suffic -cki in english...
well...

           only in russian can the
             wet-snare difference
between...
the C and K be explained...
ć is the "high german" addition...
   otherwise... in everyday english...
a C is distinguished from a K...
via the cedilla... cyst is actually: çyst...
as is the loan word for waiter:
much inflated in paris as: garçon...
plain and simple in russian...

ц "vs." ч
well... and the greek: moo(n): μ...
perhaps darwinism is the talking point...
alongside marxism and feminism...
but i'm strapped to the copernican "revision"
of forms... letter and numbers...
and how they found a place to congregate...

czekacki - чe-      -кa-        -цки
   cie-kawski... but only if the iota is not given
special treatment... inquisitive...
   ćιe-ka-w-ski...
perhaps no further - still...
                                            -цки...

this is what a world without colour looks like...
grammar was the basic landing... blockage...
the rest remains in abandoning metaphysics...
and...

делтa: some time ago: hand-writting used to
exist, beside this puncture method of:
words in the framework of knitting...
once upon a time,
in a time of snow white... these letters
were used to being connected -
by a weaving... by tide and...
by "agitation":

because these "    " markers are not
supposed to exemplify merely metaphors...
they are to include misnomers and
synonyms of lose association...
for the passing down / weaving
of a narrative...

q, c, k, "ch": cholera...
and s... quote: i will queue...
with the following cue:
to mind -

                from cat to the kayak of karma -
quote: quiver when...
it's almost an orthography -
dizzying heights of giraffe grafitti...
as crude as:
you could cuote... and kuote...
but you most certainly need to: Quote...

you can say: garson... but you need
to write a cedilla c...
how strange... "strange" almost fwench...
because: forget the trill of the R...
the tarantula bit your tongue
and the qat isn't even asking
who would be so audacious as to bite it:
with it... not included on
the suspects lisp... list...

bras mort - disappearing -
can i please appreciate a band that...
focuses on exploiting the bass guitar?
i've been a long lost fan of the bass guitar
becoming more and more prominent -
to step away from the rhythm section -
ambient noise -
    refrigerator background humming -
along with the drums -
and the vocals "in-between"...
how much: you will never know...
appreciate the bass guitar having its due:
cue... of: reaching a status
of prominence...

what were the pata-physics equations
proposed by alfred jarry in dr. faustroll?

they weren't: ∞ ÷ 0 = (0, 0) -
what is ∞                                ÷
when not 8 - "standing up"? divided by "itself"
is most certainly becomes
a coordinate... a starting point...
hell... why not claim a 3rd dimension
of this equation...
and say that: ∞ ÷ 0 = (0, 0, 0) -
and Kant's 0 = negation is to somehow fit into
all of this?

the english speaking world: this most instrumental
of all worlds...
and philosophy and metaphysics is an escape
plan... when darwinism is battling marxism...
and copernicus is in the background...
"west" on the moon!

it's pata-physics - it's not orthography,
nor is it metaphysics - or...
trans-            and the litany!
or basic chemical coordinates of the benzene
ring attaching groups...

what was once tau and the revelations
of anna katherina emmerick's revelations
and papa **** and ubu roi...
has consecrated itself upon the altar of: tao...
道...
           which tau is still part of:
should "the way" come across the crossroads
                  and junction...
to the splintering mechanisms of the mind...
a self- prefixed as individuation's
primer and solid unit of any: "moving forward"
becomes a second-class citizen
of the suffix caste... i.e. self-employed -
topsy-turvy becomes: employed-self...
self-awareness becomes: awareness-of-self...
the )of( conjunction is pivotal...

the alfred jarry equations?

           x = ∞ - N - a - P

and the verb of god - the crusading Y... the cross...
what would a rorschach test suggest
when seeing... the Y the T, † and Xi? the 11th hour?
while also seeing: ☿, ♂ and ♀... or for that matter...
☿ and й...
crescent moon as the crown - a horn toward the east -
and a horn to consolidate itself with the west...

     N = ∞ - 0
P = 0
             definition: god is the shortest distance between
0 and infinity... or...
what's ∞ - 0?              to me that's...
                     8 - o = b...
little boggling - hardly upper tier: Bobby...
which is a 8066: breaking 7 / Γ(amma)
in: when Alice finds that ******* mirror
to genesis with!

                          hello... my name is robert, the bruce...
otherwise: the psychotic is rarely the psychopath...
imagine... let us not imagine...
a pathology a priori... genetic: inherent...
and a pathology... acquired...
a newsfeed for the world to allow you to be -
in a solipsistic purgatory...
never quiet the hell anyone would imagine...
nonetheless...
dante's inferno is was sell the myth...
come paradiso - a firework display for all
and any psychologies...
a claustrophobic "oops" and "la la"...
because.... such is the presence of god...
one would sooner monologue for an eternity
in hell... than...
come across... "the meaning of life"...
the "bruce", the "almighty" the...
simple questions require... a labyrinth's worth
of an answer... never a sigh... nor a...
stipend in being: stupendously... constipated...

to be literate is but one tier
in this layer-cake of... if the world adopted
a lingua franca - a l'inglese:
the fear of a scandinavian bilingual society...
the fear of a rampant schizoid virus of
the tongues - while the native population
is supposedly falling behind
in acquiring its own zunge -
which the new-commoners and comers have
no luggage over...
claim...
perhaps the welsh are not the cucks
the english "think" they are...
given that... there's only a whiff of gaelic
coming from the highlands of knox...

coch barwn...
east of berlin... that reads as...
кoх бaрłн - red baron -
no: it was not, ever: coach or: cot death...
and coč... it was always going to be:
loCH ness...

chwynnu goron: **** crown...
again... no ******* cha-cha-cha...
х(ły)nnу -
ł(y)dka - calf - this isolated letter is
a lighthouse-cause...
гoрoн...

       perhaps i'm just tired of looking
at paintings... perhaps i didn't drop any l.s.d.
and i need to see...
the breaking of bones...
when a feud between the orcas
and a ***** fledgling erupts in the sinking
of a titanic...
and the ribs are broken...
i.e. N - H - H - И...
otherwise: pleaжure...
or... seiжure... or better still... no caron above
either the S (fake) or the Z (probably right)...
quiet sooner... ж = ß -
for better, or for worse...

i could write a pwetty poo'em...
i really could...
but why i don't, will not,
is not really the focus i'm willing to give...
a throng as an answer,
for a bare minimum of words -
a pseudo-haiku...
to just... allow the children to come
forward and spread their wings:
that would sooner be found...
as broken with ever other Icarus...

i know a triangle when i see it...
a H a ² -ed,
      more pataphysics from alfred jarry:
a² = (-a)² + y² = a² + y²
whence: y² = a² - a² = 0
   and y √0...

square in html or in halifax scribble...
JAVAscript baby...

let's find the red herring and the excess of
tape... when... the "H" shrinks and explodes
into a square form...
and... there's that mem (ם) for every samech (ס)...

one can simply tire of painting...
can't one? in that royal pronoun ref. pointer
that was always gender "neutral"
and always considering the auxilliaries...
the sycophants...
there was always that sort of grammar to mind...
to mind in it being: a hanging affair...
a guillotine spectacular...
a bit like gravity...
come... the lesson in grammar:
from zee... harking inn-glee-m-hush-puppies!
this is not a formal language...
this is a language better looked at...
i did sneak a...
it's only conspiracy theory...
but what are the odds?
budweiser teamed up with heineken and
stella artois... and to cut the sales
of the mexican... corona beer...
they said it was bat-soup and a snake-bite...
chinese biological-warefare...

come to think of it: i can't find anything more
entertaining to "believe in" / entertain at this moment...
but what would a communist esque
building look like?
believe me when i say...
painting bores me...
the picasso niqab / frenzying with mosquito netting...
above all other amateurs: the prized bull...

here's a painting... again: square: H...
mem and samech being weaved in...

              ◻ ◻ ם ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻
              ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ס ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻
              ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ם ◻ ◻ ◻
              ◻ ס ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻
              ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ם ◻
              ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ס ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻
              ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ם ◻ ◻
              ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻ ס
46n8 Aug 2022
Hai
Cold stella Artois

Triggers warm thoughts of your face,

How was your cats day?
Rompons ! Ce que j'ai dit, je ne le reprends pas.

Puisque je le pensai, c'est donc que c'était vrai.

Je le garderai jusqu'au jour où je mourrai,

Total, intégral, pur, en dépit des combats


De la rancœur très haute et de l'orgueil très bas.

Mais comme un fier métal qui sort du minerai

De vos nuages à la fin je surgirai,

Je surgis, amitiés d'ennuis et de débats...


O pour l'affection toute simple et si douce

Où l'âme se blottit comme en un nid de mousse !

Et fi donc de la sale « âme parisienne » !


Vive l'esprit français, d'Artois jusqu'en Gascogne

De la Champagne et de l'Argonne à la Bourgogne

Et vive un cœur, morbleu ! dont un cœur se souvienne !
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2018
so... h'americans lost the ambition
to own a pair of legs?

there i see a jogger, jogging on pavement...
20+ years later: arthritis -
or joint pains...
   because... why didn't they jog on grass?
on that soft genital / oyster
pouch of god's good green hearth?

walking to the supermarket,
two black girls sitting at a bus stop...
clearly not waiting for a bus...
given: walking back...

engrossed in what is probably
an album, more slick than anything
the beatles made...

                                what album?
   electric six's fire...
come on... gay bar! gay bar!
  NUCLEAR WAR!
    ON THE DANCE FLOOR!
or... naked pictures: of your mother...
sure, the clash did some
destruction with london calling:
calling out beatlemania...
but this, slick... buttered up
***** of an album?
   the short-and-sweet
pieces that barely hit the 3 minute
mark of what constitutes
a pop song?
  
   so walking back from the supermarket,
armed to the teeth with
a litre of whiskey and drinking
a stella (artois)
          the two black girls are
still sitting at the bus stop,
pretending to be waiting for a bus,
that comes, stops, and leaves,
and they're still sitting...
    like a coconut on a palm tree...

so... engrossed in thinking about
this pristine essence of the album,
they stop me...
           the conversation begins
with:
    did i scare you?
oh no... not even with what's
happening in south africa
that's not receiving coverage...

       - how's your night been?
- not bad...
   - ah... mine's been boring...
- seriously?
   - can't wait for friday night
to have a drink like you're having
right now...
  (****... what day is it?!)
- mm
    - can i have a cigarette?
- sure... you want two?
   - ah... cutie, thank you.
- have a good one then.

       tattoo on her upper right
thigh... legs that screamed!
          screamed!       leather chair!
just plenty of fat that
you could mistake for either,
a leather chair... or a pillow...
  and a face like a baby...

but...
    but...
            the other girl?
     a much darker complexion...
something, pseudo dina asher-smith...
such a petite head with such
enlarged proportions of features -
    a really shy spectacle:
               as beauty always is... shy...
is it... "love"...
   if... god almighty -
     i'm in the mood to melt butter -
just for the per se of: watching butter melt...

obviously what is missing
is me taking them back home and having
a *******...
       no **** sherlock, and i really wouldn't
have liked to?
     guess this "poem" will
have to suffice as the "only", alternative...

         NUCLEAR WAR!
                    ON THE DANCE FLOOR!

— The End —