I can’t act,
not at all.
I’m a disgrace to the theatre community.
Every word I write is shot
and my body feels so **** hot
and so **** cold
both at the same time
should I even bother trying to make this rhyme?
I can’t make eye contact with anyone,
I can’t speak to the ones I like,
the people I wish I could be friends with…
the closer I want to be
the farther away I sit.
Something inside me has changed
I keep crying
and I feel so scared
and so sad
When was the last time I did homework?
I don’t even have the time for netflix anymore
I need sleep like I need air
do I need air? My lungs hurt so bad
I keep having these dreams
these awful dreams
each one I die
those I love most devour me
and at the end always
I **** myself.
I feel so sad
so ******* sad
and I don’t know what to do
and I don’t know why I feel like this
I just know that through the day
my eyes sting like hell
from holding back all the tears
trembling on the brink of release.
Something has changed,
I don’t know what
or how
or why
or what I’m supposed to do about it,
I just know
That something has changed.

I keep losing a piece of myself every time I feel unworthy of your time,
          then I realized it’s not you, it’s me wasting my time in pleasing you.
      So I stop and pick-up the pieces of what’s left,
                  for me to move on and start caring for myself.

Let me post a selfie
how's my hair
makeup
angle
filter
how do I look
did I get likes yet?
Let me post a status
one about how much I love my besties
another on how I learned a new lesson
now here's a photo of my breakfast
I have to comment
like
poke
post new updates
every day
becuase that's just what you do nowadays,
that's just how it goes
because we're all so afraid
if we don't keep posting
if we don't get those likes
and invites
and pokes
and fill up our messages
and notifications,
that we're going to be forgotten.
That if we don't solidify our presence
on social media
then we don't have a presence at all.
We spend so much time
trying to make other people
think we exist,
that we never end up existing at all,
not really.
We don't need all these people
and confirmations
to tell us we exist.
we already do.
If only it weren't so easy to forget that.

I always see forever in my angel's eyes
I believe that tomorrow for us never dies
I feel him here, a man so kind and wise
Yet everyday, his love is a great surprise

Never did I see that forever is true
A better tomorrow becomes bitter for you
Devotion is a lie, it's an illusion, too
A cruel fate until you fall through

Oh, an illusion for someone with hatred
Why I should listen to you who's outdated?
What I know is love is something that's sacred
I don't want now my time to be wasted

Ha! Hate just brings too much weight
Perhaps, love is an infatuation state
Temporary as it is, a passing moment to abate
Time is wasted into dreams that don't conflate

Why do you always tell me what you think?
Those things in your mind they always slink
Don't you see your limits, your own brink?
Can't you just let me find my heart's missing link?

I am just seeing reality, thinking out loud!
Reality is crowded as life is full of cloud
A prince without a crown is not allowed
A heart lost in the dream town is now cowed

I know you have so much words to say
You can turn me down all the way
But I will still stand and hold my love's bouquet
Hand in hand we will walk forever and a day

Adopt me
and love me.

I'm free so
kick me
break me
***** me
drug me

so long as you love me.