I can't trust my mind
I love him, she says
I need to be alone, she thinks
But what do I really know

You can't look at me directly
Without giving me a wide smile
Icy blue eyes with just a hint of betrayal
You've been hurt, but you know I can do worse
I know you love me, maybe I love you too
But my eyes don't say it all
You can't see my soul or feel my heart
I have not been betrayed or hurt
For I am the master of betrayal
And that is why I look away.

I can admire your music.
Do you admire my mind?
We are both a little miserable.
Can that be beautiful?
Or is it a recipe for disaster?
You haven't kissed me yet
And the anticipation is killing me.
Maybe we are just meant to be friends.
But I'd do anything to hold your hand.
You'd probably hate me if you read this.
Me and my sappy thoughts.
What if I told you about my ***** thoughts?
Would you still admire my sick perverted mind??
I think you're driving me crazy.
Or maybe this is love.
My mind may never know.

My stomach tightens and my throat opens up
I feel as if I'm going to be sick
I am sick, but it's all in my head
I have a good life
I have been presented with great opportunities
Yet here I am, stressing over every little thing
I have no clue what I want to do
Sometimes I question who I am
I feel myself breaking
I am constantly on the verge of a terrible panic attack

A year ago, I had you
You were slipping away
but I still had you
Now, it has been 10 months
since you were mine
Why do you still occupy my mind?
I need it to stop
I want to be released
I just don't know how

Its 2 am
And you're not home
Because you were never mine
And i was never home