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I'll tell you more than the truth demands
Of a land hidden in the sands
A city only spoken of in tongues long dead
Whose name will linger like a spector in your head
And I must confess
That you will obsess
For half a century
From my curse i shall never be free
I don't know what keeps me going
Even if i die without knowing
I know it's too late to turn back now
I wipe the sweat from my brow
As the heat strangles the air
My companions and i all stare
They've all been with me for years
As our hope slowly disappeared
Only our friendship remained
We stared at the sands until it became ingrained
deep within our brains
it fanned the old flames
one more try, one more excavation
I should have chosen a different occupation
You made a poet fall in love with you
And expected her not to write sonnets about your eyes
Haikus about the way you kissed her in the moonlight
Expected the fire in her heart not to inspire couplets
You made a poet fall in love with you, and when you left
Expected her not to write pages about the ache in her chest
Write a soliloquy dedicated to her tears
Expected her not to feel every gut wrenching moment of the pen hitting paper like your words hit her in the most vulnerable places of her mind.
You made a poet fall in love with you, and you expected her to be silent.
That is no fault of hers.
ink
You asked me once,
if I'd written about you.
I'd smiled as I shook my head.
With every word I write, a part of you settles on the page, amongst the ink that never dries fast enough.
Leaving smudges across the page.

I used to believe the reason I picked up a pen, sprawling ink along a once pristine page was to rid myself of you.
Word by word, drawing you out to settle amongst the ink that never dries fast enough.
I reflect on a night, spent with a lover.
My hands refused to settle,
agitated by the urge to write.
Long, shaking lines made up the letters trailing around my bare legs.
A whispered voice calls me to return, the urge is gone.
Perhaps the writing isn't for the abandonment of you. Perhaps it is the last of you - all I have now.
Muddled amongst the ink that never dries fast enough.
 Oct 2015 Victoria Lynn
Y Rada
It is difficult to be a man,
For I am not a typical one.
It is hard for me to go on,
There’s a secret that pulls me.

I loathe when my memories strike,
They hit emotionally with might.
I struggle so much to survive,
In a world so deaf towards my cries.

I look at a He and my heart convulses,
For I recall a He who gave me kisses.
I was young, forced and naïve,
I fought but He was much stronger.

Society might tell that I’m gay,
For I let a man violated me in a way.
But I’m not a ***** and I’m sure,
I play a role for which others envy.

When I was a teen I met her,
I admired her even if she’s older.
I was then shy and very timid,
With mental and emotional scars.

I thought of her as a dear friend,
Then she turned to be my worst fiend.
One instance she forced herself on me,
And used things that hurt me so.

A girl’s tactics differ from the stronger ***,
Tears she used first and blackmail next.
She was cunning, sly and very clever,
She stole my pride and my dignity.

My fears now mixed with anger,
My determinations got bolder.
I still cry and sometimes get lonely,
Like any other victim I want to fight.

I can not shout to the whole nations,
For societies will scorn at my declamation.
Both sexes forgot that I have feelings too,
I am also made of flesh, bones and spirit.

I am not proud of what I become,
Within me clouding reasons try to calm.
My desire is to win this battle to the end,
I am capable of vulnerability like any human.

But where does my right begin?
This universe has compassion for women.
The likes of me are expected to be steel made,
Yet I have feelings too for I am just a man.
Dedicated to all abused males by other men and to the men abused by females. A simple shout out to the world that I care…that I have heard your cries… and that you are still loved.
Your voice is lower than a whisper
A voice I strain to hear
To hear over the immeasurable strangling silence
To hear the sweet waves of flow and movement
The words rise up and smash on the shores of my mind
I feel the endless potential energy stored in the structure of your light phrasing
Chemical bonds ready to burst.
I grasp at them like a blind man grasping at straws.
I want to understand you
To understand the girl inside that painted armor
I love you.
I love the you I perceive
I just want to hold you deep in the ever expanding country of my arms
When we talk I see your eyes light up
Your whole face moves into the perfect position
I know that is you.
Your mouth is the opening of an endless river
As a stream of whispered beauty flows perpetually
I love this you.
The one who talks honestly and beautifully.
I remember that day
When it was too hot to hold hands but we did anyway
And the sunlight was streaming
And our smiles were gleaming
And the sunshine cascaded through your hair
And I remember the water bottle we had to share
The pavement was hot beneath our feet
And you looked so sweet
And we scouted for free air conditioning
And as if by predetermined positioning
We stumbled into a little tea shop
I watched your jaw drop
As I faithfully recited your favorite order
We sat in the booth by the window
That day was slow
We didn't talk much
We didn't need that crutch
I held your hand in mine
Sweet as grapes off the vine
We watch the great blue expanse above
And I remember what it meant to be in love.
Alcohol pulsing in her veins
Dancing in sweet August rains
Hair flowing down her back
Wild as a cub about to attack
I take a swig from the bottle, all bitter and sweet
It makes me feel a little more complete
Drenched clothes sticking to our skin
I couldn't help but grin
She's got that look in her eyes
Like a hundred thousand fireflies
She pounces,teeth jokingly bared
She lands on me, I'm totally unprepared
I stare into twin green lights
part of me dies, part of me sighs, part of me delights
Her lips find mine in the dark
And I swear there was a spark
An emotional/electrical discharge
Her eyes enlarge
Like biolumincent spheres
The water and ***** wash away our fears
She giggles like a babbling stream
Its a hazy dream
Fingertips in the notches in her spine
Her mouth moves with mine
Alone with ourselves, the ***** and the rain
Our bodies sing the same old refrain
In the morning we experience a sitcom reset
We both pretend to forget
You
You are the rising sun
You are the only one
You are a thunder storm on a clear day
You a blizzard in the middle of may
You are the last blue freeze pop
You are that amazing day that will never stop
You are board games in the dead of night
You are my bright light
You are how I get by
You hold the stars up in the sky
You are the wind that blows us around
You are that pure and simple sound
You are me and I am you
You and i together, there is nothing we can't do
I added the last two lines a year after i wrote this. They just popped into my head one day
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