"He never loved me"
Never at all
Though he said those words over and over it didn't mean a thing
She told him over and over please don't leave my little life
Just tell me you love me
because love you is so different from I Love You
"He never loved me"
and when he left she had no energy for any tears
You see the energy she had put in for him was the last thing she had
"He never loved me"
Is what she said as she felt the warmth of her blood spilling on her leg
"He never loved me"
As she slowly drifted in and out till out was the end
The angel of death swoops in and wraps his arms around her
"He never loved me"
She tells death.
"No not at all"
She's now in a place were she waits for him to come
To come to a place where they will live forever
"He never loved me but I loved him"

Feelings are becoming hard to understand
With you I felt everything
When I was around you it was like a breath of fresh air
Now its like i'm slowly suffocating without you
Now that you have left
I don't know what I thought you saw in me when you said forever
Because forever just isn't forever
And I swear I knew that but as long as I was with you I didn't care
You were my life my soul my everything
So what do I do when your gone
Feelings are becoming hard to understand
Now that I dont feel a thing
The numbness I feel takes the place of you
What was I supposed to do?
When you left you took my real forever and left the empty promises of our forever

She felt herself f
a
l
l
i
n
g
deep into the dark
where NO ONE
     could find her
all


alone
with no one to s
       a
v
e
her
What. is hap
pening
to me?
soon alone NOT TO BE FOUnd
she felt a peace
                        r
ise in her

Is. THIS death ?

OR
MAYBE .JUST ANOTHER life

but SOON she was falling again-before she
left
she said one thing
maybe i’ll b
  e
                    ……
and THEn she was gone

Alone, cold, and mislead
is what it feels like to be unwanted.

After a while the feelings are accepted,well actually any feeling.

Maybe this was planned maybe if I keep going I will see a light.

Through this darkness I will come.
Feelings of acceptance creep in, slowly, but they still come.

Laughter seems so far away, like it is foreign where I am.

Where is that I ask? Why does it even matter because I know what darkness feels like.

I know what being unwanted feels like.

Because no one can help me now. Now that I know what it feels like and what it means.

Now I know what it means to be

                                              Darkly Unwanted.

Everyone thought she was happy and some were even jealous. They thought she had everything and that her life was great the way she came to school always happy and joking around.


They thought she had it all, the grades, the friends, the humor, the boys.

They thought she had the best family because her mom was so funny and brought her lunch or the funny stories she could tell.

They thought she could do most if not anything because she was athletic and fit into any sport or activity she tried.

She was always called by them ,the girl who had so much energy, or, class joker.

What they didn’t know was she would always brace herself before getting out of the car to make sure she had on a smile or the tears in her eyes were hidden. Or even how before she got to class she had to sit on the bathroom floor and pray she could make through one more day.

What they didn’t know was when she joked about how her grades were slipping that she was terrified of what would be said when she got home.

What they didn’t know was she felt like she had no friends and that when she talked to someone she pleaded that they could see her story through her eyes.

What they didn’t know was the boy she liked never even knew her name and when he did he could never see her as anything other than that girl in some of his classes who always had the jokes.

What they didn’t know was she counted down every day at school till she would have to go home and hear the disappointment from her mom. How she counted down the hours, no, the minutes until she could get away from feeling unloved and not wanted.
How she prayed every night for someone to take her away from this place. How around family she was just that girl with the father who was never going to stay.

What they didn’t know was the only reason she was athletic was because she loved to feel everything that weighed her down get lifted off because she pushed herself to the breaking point to just forget about everything else.

What they didn’t know was the names they said all she wished was for her to have one person to call her friend.

But what they did know was that she was Miss Great who had most if not everything going for her.

Some people might say it’s that’s all that matters. What other people know. That they don’t need to know all of your business.

But what if that is what could have saved her. What other people did know.

But soon she’ll just start her day all back over and the process will repeat.

Maybe if you see that one person and look into their eyes you’ll see what they’re trying to tell you. What you can know.

Maybe, just maybe, you’ll see her.

Hope and Love

I felt myself dying slowly because of love and hope. I gave you everything, but yet I get nothing except one thing. That one thing you gave me was hope. Everyone says hope is the best thing that can happen, but for me it was the worst. It was the hope you gave me that ended me like this. Love and Hope go together just like us. You can't have one without the other. It is the hope that cut me but the love that killed me. It was the hope you gave me that I took gladly and the love I gave but wasn't enough. So in a way it is my fault for having a crush on you, but in reality I loved you. But saying that to myself was going to **** me faster than i could bear. so before she dies she wants to say that she loved in her own way. the way that hope and love were her undoing, but she would do it again for the hope and love you gave and she took slowly until she said these words i love… and then she was gone.

I wish I had said sorry
and known how to act
because if I would've done
that we might be different.

I wish she had gone
and taken me with her
but when I think of him I see the pictures

I wish I hadn't been so jealous
maybe if I wasn't no one
would notice me

I wish I knew what those looks
meant instead of just guessing

She wishes she knew
what those feelings meant but would
that have stopped her from taking those pills?

She seems happy but when she
gets home her wishes go away
in her mind to haunt

As she drifted off to sleep
those wishes came back into reality

The apology she said no to changed
to yes

The pictures became life as she left her body

She drifted along looking for
one person before she left

When she found him
she saw his wishes

"I wish she knew how much I care."

These words in his mind drove
her back to find

The body she discarded
and left behind

As she returned she forgot his wishes,
but in her mind she waited patiently
for him to say his wishes

I wish I knew what happened
but I myself am lost

waiting and waiting for my own to wish