maybe* i am better off alone,

maybe i am not worth anymore,

maybe i shouldn't breathe,

maybe i should take the razor,

maybe i should draw red lines on my skin,

maybe blood will come out and run,

maybe i will lose conscience,

maybe i will fall on the floor,

maybe no one will find me,

maybe i will finally be at peace.

i curl into your back and you wear me
like armor into your dreams.

under your hands i turn to water
or iron and then you bend me again.

you say you knew it from the first when
the space between us bit its tongue.

i didn't know it though i ground my teeth
down that night under your name

and spat out all others in my sleep.
i didn't know single-mindedness

til you packed your suitcase and placed
it against mine outside the door.

i didn't know that it could be like this.
a reflection caught by the tail

of you watching me and i see more.
for you i am more. i have to be.

-----------------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------
The past is the thing that shapes a person
Who they dated
How they acted
What their interests were
-
It helps people learn Right from Wrong
Good or Bad
Left to Right
Up and Down
-
Only words and pictures of our pasts exist now
But how come they affect our mood?
Our outlook?
Our feelings?
-
Here in the present it changes our perspective on numerous things
Our relationship
Our behavior
And how treat others
-
-
But we quickly brush it away
-
-
Some of us hold on to it and some of us let it go
-
The strong minded learn to let it go
While the weak are the ones who hold on to it
-
But they hold on to much more than a mere memory
-
They hold onto a very frail friendship
-
In this present day
-------------------------------------------------------------­---------------------------------