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 Aug 2021 Emma
dark blue
overly educated
neurotic
uptight
high strung
feminist
soccer mom

you screamed
asked me
why i’d left
was a coward
for walking away

i got tired
of the nagging
petty fights
power struggles
emasculation

you aren’t feminine
nurturing
maternal
you have the body of a woman
but the mentality of a man

i was miserable
living with you
i left
to save my health
self respect
masculinity
Book about modern male female relationships: Beyond Mars and Venus by John Gray
 Aug 2021 Emma
Pablo Neruda
My dog has died.
I buried him in the garden
next to a rusted old machine.

Some day I'll join him right there,
but now he's gone with his shaggy coat,
his bad manners and his cold nose,
and I, the materialist, who never believed
in any promised heaven in the sky
for any human being,
I believe in a heaven I'll never enter.
Yes, I believe in a heaven for all dogdom
where my dog waits for my arrival
waving his fan-like tail in friendship.

Ai, I'll not speak of sadness here on earth,
of having lost a companion
who was never servile.
His friendship for me, like that of a porcupine
withholding its authority,
was the friendship of a star, aloof,
with no more intimacy than was called for,
with no exaggerations:
he never climbed all over my clothes
filling me full of his hair or his mange,
he never rubbed up against my knee
like other dogs obsessed with ***.

No, my dog used to gaze at me,
paying me the attention I need,
the attention required
to make a vain person like me understand
that, being a dog, he was wasting time,
but, with those eyes so much purer than mine,
he'd keep on gazing at me
with a look that reserved for me alone
all his sweet and shaggy life,
always near me, never troubling me,
and asking nothing.

Ai, how many times have I envied his tail
as we walked together on the shores of the sea
in the lonely winter of Isla Negra
where the wintering birds filled the sky
and my hairy dog was jumping about
full of the voltage of the sea's movement:
my wandering dog, sniffing away
with his golden tail held high,
face to face with the ocean's spray.

Joyful, joyful, joyful,
as only dogs know how to be happy
with only the autonomy
of their shameless spirit.

There are no good-byes for my dog who has died,
and we don't now and never did lie to each other.

So now he's gone and I buried him,
and that's all there is to it.
 May 2021 Emma
Jamie
Same page
 May 2021 Emma
Jamie
i hate being one step ahead of you
now that i'm finally making progress, your life has turned to ****
 May 2021 Emma
Casey
Prove it to me
 May 2021 Emma
Casey
"If you're a guy, why do you carry around a purse?"

I stare at her, hard.
My gender therapist, questioning me?

To carry my ****. Why else?
Don't impose these stereotypes on me.


Also,
my jeans don't have pockets.
okay,,,, first of all--*****
 May 2021 Emma
xmxrgxncy
lightning
 May 2021 Emma
xmxrgxncy
pain from within is like a shot of lightning to the chest
that no one sees
but everyone hears

how were we to know that just because we see light
doesn't mean that
better times are coming

light stands for good but connotates putting the bad
out of our heads when
it just gives us a better view
 Oct 2020 Emma
دema flutter
hurt
 Oct 2020 Emma
دema flutter
Hurt,
is not a feeling,
but rather a process,
it’s wanting to burst out
in laughter when you fall
for the same trap twice,
and shedding tears
when you least expect it,
it’s being able to experience
emotions that you thought you had lost
touch of, sight of,
it’s looking at yourself
in the mirror
and loving the broken
version as much as the healed one.
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