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Jun 20 · 361
When the thinking ends
Emma Jun 20
When the thinking ends
You can feel the wind
Brush against your feet
You can see the rain
Dripping from the apple tree
Its branches shaking outside the window
Aug 2018 · 2.0k
Emma Aug 2018
I am hearing rain for the first time
Like soft hurried footsteps,
The sounds of mice scuttering,
The creaking of an old house.

I am crying again in the darkness
Caressing my true self,
Feeling her ****** fur
As she flinches from my careful fingers

Her eyes are endless black pools
Her thin legs are injured
Curled up, she whimpers
And cowers in pain

I get too close and she scurries away
Into a shadow,
Leaving me alone with the rain
Aug 2018 · 803
A shadow like me
Emma Aug 2018
A shadow like me
Its leaves are blacker than black
Against the grey sky

A cloud of billowing ash
In the aftermath

Of Vesuvius
Rain falls on cold embers
In this film noir

As my hair turns black
And clumps, black as rotten stumps
Black as mottled roots
Clung to a pale corpse

Droplets play in golden light
Then a lightning strike
The gravel sound
Angels passing on the ground

Wandering lost as moths
From light to light
My eyelids hang heavy
Ready to close me out

Phoenix in the night
Burning her broken heart
Jul 2018 · 831
Emma Jul 2018
[ I ]
The window framed the quiet scene
My still mind had painted there
Pastel shades of grey and white
That sailed across an ocean sky
To travel right and disappear

I felt her personality
In choice of subject, her use of colours
So vibrant and true
Though I knew

That all great art
Is channeled, not thought
A piece taken from the heart
To be planted anew

[ II ]
At night the lights were dotted lines
Along the shore,
Orange and incandescent

As the crescent moon sent her light reflected
To shimmer fragmented and grey
On endless waves
I ran along

The windy wall
Drunk on love and beer
Singing "Hallelujah" with hair trailing
Feeling perfect as a rose in the rain
Jul 2018 · 116
Emma Jul 2018
I long to drown in my silence
Crushed beneath a life of suffering
A life I was never meant for

Alone in an endless sea
Asleep forever
In total darkness

To be forgotten
And reunited with the soil
That falls like sand around me

As they learn to move on
To die in my sleep
Never knowing
If life gets better
this is terrible
Jan 2018 · 572
Emma Jan 2018
There's a halo in the clouds,
A rainbow that glides
With the crescent moon

The day is spent, the moments gone
I come up for air at every one
And forget the last

The moments pass
They come from where?
Someplace close but far from here
Like a song I can't quite recall

As my face rests on the fogged-up glass
Eyelids flash. A drop of rain falls
Onto my tongue, and I fall asleep
In the backseat of the car
Jan 2018 · 226
Emma Jan 2018
Her golden hairs are tangled wires
Headphones in my pocket
Knotted, crows along the lines
Dripping from her locket

The raindrops land upon our tongues
And whip our faces red
In this song the voice has sung
What we could not have said

It flows through time, and everything
It's there and never ends
She dances like an autumn leaf
That floats upon the wind
I'll never be the current me
And can not feel her go
I'll never be who I want to be
The person I'll never know

Has taken all my memories
And set some of them free
Whoever she is I'll never see
But I hope she'll be happy
Dec 2017 · 152
Emma Dec 2017
You in the darkness with the old grey church
Weeping down its stone walls, and the rain
Singing softly to the sounds of a dancing sky

You: the illusion, ever so inviting
The lonesome cloud gliding over the horizon
Glowing alone in perfect silence

You: a moment lost in space,
Not even asleep, not even
Awake, not even

You sigh a frozen breath
And leave with a song

That echoes through the night
Where you are now gone
Sep 2017 · 1.1k
Emma Sep 2017
The dry crunch of a dead leaf crushed underfoot
The season's first, I make sure to step on every one
Leaving behind a soft brown dust
For the growing winds to blow away

Autumn: leaves in orange piles
Huddling for warmth by the garden walls
The cold that climbs your spine
As you walk through the night, beautiful and alone

The reluctance to go inside, as your hand stops
On the icy metal of a door handle
The redness of her cheeks as she laughs
And you stare in tortured love
Sep 2017 · 181
Emma Sep 2017
the soothing darkness
seeps through
the glass, and i don't know
where i'm running off to

laughing loudly, lying, walking
whiskey filled, and tranquil
i drink some more, and smoke with an aching throat
i get lost in half finished thoughts
of her smile, and her hair
so perfect like the rest of her

our eyes meet just like they used to

and i feel
like i'm running out of remedies
like the tiring walls of my heart
are closing in
on me

like i will forever be
as lonely, ugly, and worthless
as i have always been
and high
Jul 2017 · 287
Emma Jul 2017
I sit listening to his lingering melodies
But his words don't comfort me
They don't hold me anymore

In the shower I cry
My tears disappear
But I don't
I hold my legs tight and wait
But I won't wash away

And I know what they'll say
That I was so full of life
Gathering around to ask each other
"Oh, did you see that coming?"

Just listen for a second
Just listen
You may hear me

You may hear my fading footsteps

I'm sorry
You'll never know
Why I had to leave

Because no one will be looking
When I slip outside
And drift away
yes I'm trans
Yes I wanted to die while writing this
I'm feeling a bit better now though
Poetry helps me in that way
Jun 2017 · 313
Emma Jun 2017
There are gusts sometimes
When my hair is swept
From my eyes and I just feel

The cool wind pull my feet along
The sandy gravel of the path

Lamplight leaving shadows of each  tiny stone
And the branches swaying calmly
Like the blue ribbon on my notebook

A black cat prowls out of an opening
Then stops when she hears me there

And I stand like an actress as she stares
With my hair swaying like reeds
On a grey shore
May 2017 · 279
Emma May 2017
Like an elevator I will let everybody down
I will lift you up and watch as you leave me
Cold as echoing metal,
May 2017 · 1.6k
Morning after
Emma May 2017
You awoke before the rest
Their sighs and breaths
Disappeared in the dark morning

If only they would wake
And leave you unalone
Apr 2017 · 382
Emma Apr 2017
(Your words stand on my soul
Like a paperweight

There's no need to shout when
You can bore us in-
to a zombie-like state)

Is it sadder I have to
To you speak


That you have to teach
This *******
To me?
Apr 2017 · 199
Emma Apr 2017
The world looks so different
From down here
Watching birds glide like grey kites
As clouds float together yet lonely
As faces in a crowd
Mar 2017 · 1.5k
I wish she knew
Emma Mar 2017
I wish she knew
How the way her hands glide like pale doves
To cover her face when she laughs
Makes my heart melt

How she smiles
And suddenly the world will never
Be good enough
For me
How I would hold her hand
And kiss her tears away

In the dark, freezing my skin in the rain
Droplets collect on blue window panes
So clear and calm and beautiful
Mar 2017 · 195
Emma Mar 2017
Loneliness is always there inside me
Black puddles on a starlit road
I stare into and see myself

My tears leave ripples in the cold water
He has his arms wrapped around her
I'm so completely worthless

I can't tell the difference
Between myself
And the endless nothing of the universe
I cried while writing this
I've never been this lonely in my life
Mar 2017 · 501
Emma Mar 2017
The white Moon makes raindrops into dark crystals
Snaking down the cold windows

Have you ever noticed the whiteness of the rain
As it bounces in passing headlights off the asphalt

As the heavy clouds cover the stars
Blinding us from where we are

Like we could be anywhere
Like a rainy night looking up as droplets slide down the tent's skin


We're nowhere
Huddled under covers
Losing time in the darkness
Lost in an endless dream
As we drift back into sleep
Feb 2017 · 254
Emma Feb 2017
The night air is warm as it brushes past me
Like curtains lit by lightning floating in an open window

The lost moth wanders between suns
From sun to flowering sun
Searching for home in the night
Jan 2017 · 1.2k
Emma Jan 2017
The smoke flows
From between your lips
The rain flows down your hair
And falls from the tips
Black, dripping




Your face is always
So close

So warm
But never close enough

Never close enough
Jan 2017 · 695
Emma Jan 2017
don't write a poem
for me
it would be pointless,
it would be
a paradox
to try
to give beauty
to something
so ugly
Jan 2017 · 503
Emma Jan 2017
your eyes paint the clouds black

i feel the wet grass that glows the colour of dusk,
i sense the light reaching out into every night

the shadows swim between headstones
and up to the pines
as angels fly past us
fading out

the ghost of a lone swan

resting on my arm
you see her, so still and so beautiful
and before day comes we're gone

by the pier
alone with the endless rain

stained gold by the flowering light
drowning out in orange glow

i see the waves
as they breathe cold darkness into the streetlights
see the reeds in the wind,
hear the roar in our ears

the falling slopes we climb
lost in a million sounds of the rain
floating without senses
lost between the stars
Dec 2016 · 534
Emma Dec 2016
Flicking through old photos
Since forever stashed under my bed
Mum points at one of me
Little, laughing
And my brothers
In colourful winter hats,
Climbing white trees,
A one of a kind cold day
The brown leaves sing
"Weren't you so cute?"
To think Christmas is wasted on me now
And I lie lamenting the happiness of someone long past
My throat hurts at the effort of not just bursting out
Like a baby as I lose control
In front of my own mother
That wasn't me on that fence
The little face swinging upside-down
That was someone pure
Locked inside me
That was light on a piece of card
I don't feel
Like a person
I'm a mish-mash
Of random
I am a split second
That's almost gone
I am traits, emotions, chemicals, hormones, electricity, fear, love, friendships
Fading into a maelstrom of humanness
Mounds of recycled carbon
Made-up meaning
Lost in fog
Where I begin and end fades
Into everything and nothing
I'm the dirt in the ground
The stars in the sky
Something words can't describe
This isn't really a poem. I feel weird and I just needed to write it down. Maybe someone else feels the same way. Well of course someone else does, there are over 7 billion people on Earth, but maybe you do
Dec 2016 · 259
Emma Dec 2016
Droplets of dark divine
Don't really taste
Wine, but water  
Still I savour those small things
Ringing out the night's nothings
On the wind's bitter gifts

Til there is nothing left
And I have outlived myself
The cyclone leaves pirouette
Down into moon-glow
Puddles, ripples

The moment will soon be past
Eight thousand hours or so, I have tasted
But a fleeting crumb of the universe

Forever outliving myself until
The Sun's beams stain the clouds
Then who will look upon this frightened page
And see my soul in theirs?

I sit alone beneath a dry hood
That patters like the slated roof
On days you slept scared

Of rain and thunder
I am all there is again
The page gets wetter and wetter

As the words fade out
Dec 2016 · 216
Emma Dec 2016
To write real poetry
You have to feel something
So I'm sorry
Dec 2016 · 532
Emma Dec 2016
The silver dew seeps through my shoes
No one
Not by the goalposts
Not by the gravel footprints

Hears my music
Bold streetlights lit across the night
The twinkling starlights
Like leaves in the river
Grey charcoal clouds
That swallow the tops of tall trees

Aligned silently by the roadside
I'm only true in the empty stillness
Where my own sound floats softly
Like echoing birds in snow
Nov 2016 · 835
Emma Nov 2016
In my shining spotlight the rabbit scampers
Across the fields, its bright white eyes, and stops
Crouching in the dewy grass of a foggy night
In the pale-faced cold wind of winter

In the light of the supermoon
In the light rain fog of November
And what is fog?
In the darkness
Something that I remember

The glowing leaves pile up in my pockets
Yellow ones burn like lemon flames, green like pears
They all find their way someday between the pages
Of my stained petal books

And I always find my way
Into the Moon's light,
Where blue sea laps softly on smooth stones
Of the shore
Of the skin
And the silence
Of the night
Nov 2016 · 285
Emma Nov 2016
I bought a new coat
A padded navy blue one
With wide collar and arms too long

I'm like an eskimo
Gliding alone in the Arctic
A black alley cat prowling

The slow blank start of winter
The crescent moon floats right up there
White like the crystal blade of a scimitar

My hair's the right length now
Not too short to be you, long enough to be me
My lips are full and frigid the opposite of numb

This street is cold
And sparse
But in a hot-tea-in-hand-

These streetlights there above
Weren't there before
The light brown leaves

Won't be here
Not for long
They won't be crowding at the stone walls next month

Who will live
And talk round lighted wood tables
In these cookie-cutter houses?

When the red smiles move in
A new family blown in with the wind
I'll glance in from the dark
And feel the night as it was all my own
Oct 2016 · 768
Emma Oct 2016
It makes me go "Jesus Christ. Look at the view"
Middle of October, birthday,
Driving past Bantry bay
Treading boots on a carpet of brown
Leaves, the forest walk in Glengariff

I walk and wonder
Why the ivy leaves sprout from the mud  
Scattering green shapes on the ground
Spread across the floor like mushrooms

I see the thin branches hold a preschool painting
A trillion burning instances of colour
And nothing is human here, but you
I am only the moss that clings to the trees

Like a pointilist masterpiece
The apple-green and autumn yellow spots
Gather in canopies above the rocks
While the white streaks and dots
Dance wildly in the black stream

And so
The orangeness, as I turn, flies diagonally,
Looking down across the dampened stones
The colour of fire paints the falling petals
That flip like red feathers

As the stream flows clear as molten glass
And the foam, so dove white on the surface
Bubbles against the edge of it
Splashing boulders,
Rinsing toes
Emma Oct 2016
i love to count
the wintry things
two lips

the tundra glides
                past the slates
as, perched on wires, the crows wait
for their white coats
              to build

two covered boots
              walk the ice on the road
as the children and their bikes
stick out

distinctly red, half hidden in snow
the wet ice of the street
            two black tires

a trail of feet
i count five flakes
one cold face
one pink nose and two flushed cheeks
eight car hoods

mounds of snow piled up on each

            the snow falls
feathering down to the ground
            through the cold
settling down on woolly clothes

my tongue stuck out to catch the snow
landing, thawing, melted down

condensed. five, six, seven, eight,
thousands, millions
          an infinite
        of snowy
dancing, muddy footprints

orange gloves on numbing digits

hot chocolate inside

both palms
        like a lighter's
in a cold home

and the birds' wings clap
as they fly
from the branches
in the frozen
Oct 2016 · 271
windy night
Emma Oct 2016
glowing moon
shining bright
behind the oaks

beaming white
within the leaves
the swaying

and rustling
the winter night
the thick clouds

grey like a fog on the stars
my red cheeks
black shoes on my feet

earth's ear
to my heart

my lungs
my ears

the air flows through
each hole in my soul

the verdant leaves
bask and glisten
in the light

i hear
a whispered tune
connect my mind

to my heart,
a reason
to my soul
I keep changing this poem. AHHHHH
Oct 2016 · 427
I'm taking a break
Emma Oct 2016
My thoughts are poisoned
I can't relax, I can't rest
Nothing makes me sad

Or happy, I try
I can't relax, I need rest
I need to fix this
Nothing makes me happy or sad or feel anything. I write poems that I don't feel any passion for and then delete them. I can never relax. I'm not looking forward to anything in the future. I need to change my life, I need to take a break from everything.
Oct 2016 · 737
I was all over her (haikus)
Emma Oct 2016
mute, in a bubble
black holes open - and swallow
swallow me all whole

party, I won't be
some, something, I want to be
somebody not me

I fumble over
alone, I speak like the dark
but I guess I try

the empty glances
alone, I guess I liked her
I got used to it
I haikuified a song for a competition on The song is "I was all over her" by salvia palth.
Sep 2016 · 223
I was blind
Emma Sep 2016
I was lost in the shroud of his hair
I was dangling, the willows covering

Your vines hung low around me
I only took your lips and abandoned

In a frozen December
Shuffled in the sodium

I should have felt your warmth
In the sifting moon

You slept beside me
Curled up cute as a kitten

Now I miss you like the morning
When you awake too late

To feel anything but dying
And the time hurtling forward

Falling to the landscape
I should have seen your kindness

So beautiful, I was lonely
If I saw ten feet before me

Would I have let you go?
Sep 2016 · 286
my double
Emma Sep 2016
I saw one of my doubles in his circle. The confident centre of attention. Laughing, laughing, his blue eyes met mine, his grin grew wide and I hid my shame beneath my hair.

I got a haircut
I didn't want to
My nerves
Shot through
My veins on the day
Like white acid and the shaking
My knees made holes in the table
I almost ran away

No one noticed

I wonder if anyone would care
If I didn't show up today
What good am I to the world?

I wish I could be like you
Like a worthwhile person
Who captures stares and crowds and makes you wonder why you're so pathetic in every single ******* way
(I always say
The wrong thing)
I want to smash my face against the wall and drown in the joy of those who forgot me because I did not entertain

I meet a new double every day
I have too many

My doubles, the difference is you can talk to people without feeling a gun pointed to your head
Like you are going to die if you move as much as a muscle
Or say something that doesn't make them laugh
And I don't know where to put my hands

I am tired of hiding
In the corner hating everything
Just venting. Don't worry if it's bad or incorrect.
Sep 2016 · 216
Emma Sep 2016
Creation is in our breath
our silk noise is frozen cold
as sound fills the capped peaks
as a red bike sticks out of the snow
that covers each dead root
it cushions each robin's  fall

it hangs from branches
like blank tears, long sheets
of white paper
a fox mother guards her silver cubs
she wears a white coat when she comes
the snow is what she knows

i have not seen these hills
since she came to me
offering her eyes
that see through the clear silence
she stared, and crushed my sound
till she scampered away

the black ravens fluttered empty
the leaves echo from the skeleton
the sound echoing like a shot
our boots sinking into deep holes
his feet leave tracks on the snow
where mine have left

when I turn he is not there
i can hear the raven's wings
and our tracks lie asleep in the snow
where mine have left

when I turn he is not there
i can hear the raven's wings
and our tracks lie asleep in the snow
Sep 2016 · 243
Emma Sep 2016
My shelves stack full of books half read
Half poems I could not ring
Limp as a starfish upon this bed
As the bird's sweet chirpings sing

Through the echoing skull I've said
"Beware" for there be no mortal thing
Could tame the waters and lands of dread
Where my madness reigns as King

My heart does sink, a lump of lead
My chains to river cling
On spring's soft pillow I rest my head
To dream of other things
Sep 2016 · 1.9k
Wet soles
Emma Sep 2016
I am sat
In a tight picnic circle
Laid on the grey sand

I am a crusted seashell,
I am the limpets which cling to my skin
Like a sunken chest

The waves and sea gulls call
For each other and the cold
In the distance. The swimmers. The Irish

Sea and the Irish cold
The sea and the clouds

You are the froth
Flowing through my lungs like a white
Feather fallen from the sky

And dry
The rock's green hair swaying

The wind strikes the eye
Like a splash
And decays with

The grace of a coffin
For me the reeds have born their fruit
They stab the naked

Skin, you are still
Sleeping on your side
In the tent

You are still beautiful
Within, soon the ***** will unfold
And we shall embrace
The sea and her sons
Sep 2016 · 267
Emma Sep 2016
The shining black  
Florescent streetlamps  
In the rain

My hair is heavy
And long and it grows over
My eyes

Look, the stream is smooth
And a mirror like the tears
That hang from the brown

Green leaves floating
And the grey perched on the wall
I'm at the edge where the river flows

Under like a fish
A salmon

On the river
Amongst a million ripples

The unanswered pleas
A fog condensed
Into crystals

They drip
To rest on her lips
And between her shining scales

Someone pushed me
I'm falling

I'm freezing
In here someone is under
The surface

It pulls
And I need
To help

A mirror
My reflection

My body at the bed
My mouth agape
I'm not awake
Wrote this in Biology class. Couldn't be bothered to do any more with it. Moving on.
Sep 2016 · 504
Before the storm
Emma Sep 2016
[Before the storm]

I'm walking away from hope
Childish in my care for the cracked stone
I must be for my mother
            My forehead once felt her kiss
                              Then felt her wrist
I pity the men who can step anywhere  

Anywhere in the grey
Above Dublin's familiar streets
Bubbling, their tea in hell
           It has the taste of fear as well
                             I have made them
Their new reality did not account for me

I bought you a bicycle for your birthday
I helped you to unwrap it
And we rode through the morning
           Brushing nettles
                           And when fox brush fluttered
We were unsettled

Why were you so cold?
When the Sun submerged into galaxies
To become your face and your cheeks
         And the leaves lay on cellophane
                          Your eyes seemed so old to me
But your smile was philosophy

Long hair was blooming in the wind
A deal made with the God Time
No need for penitence
        No need for any of it
                         Tell me there is a way
And I will wage war with the waves

Speeding ahead with my eyes on the stars
And the moon which stays fixed
No matter how fast I pedal
Even when small stones
Get stuck in the metal
And I fly through the air like a feather

I lay with the pattering in a puddle
I lay with the rain and the mud forever
Jul 2016 · 667
Jazz Poem
Emma Jul 2016
The rose red dresses flutter and float
Over beautiful girls with smooth legs cartwheeling
Dancin' like swinging jitterbug springs
Going round in a bebop rhythm
Through the saxophone blasting soul
And the jazz drums which clash and simmer

The yellow lights and red smoke floods
Singing and a' ringin' in circles
Filling the air with childish smiles and laughter
Freedom reigns on the crowded dance-floor
Synchronisation in the joyful movers
Who dance and drink into the night
Jul 2016 · 259
Cut off
Emma Jul 2016
I trudge through the blizzard with my boots sinking
To my knees in snow and the flakes
Cloud my frosted eyelids again

Wiping away the whiteness to allow my vision
A few feet in front as the onslaught of cold wet
Particles fall like horizontal rain

Moving fast as a hurricane
My knees are weakened to collapse
I am so lost I cannot think

Many friends lost on the way
Fallen and buried instantly
In pure white ecstasy

No time for ceremony
Hours ago I lost the main party
I lost the light of survival

In the blinding white
My frigid gloved hand above my eyes
Resolution in my mind

On the fringes of sight
In the dark myopic distance
I see the sea blue light
In the lonely darkness
Jul 2016 · 261
Tear open the sky
Emma Jul 2016

They're all idiots
You're an idiot

Then why do I feel
So stupid?

If only

They're not worth it
They're worthless

Then why do I feel
So lonely?

I don't know your name

I want to make you cry

I want to make the inside of your head like a hurricane

Oh my god I just realised

You are the constellations
In my eyes

You are the world
Beyond the sky
Jul 2016 · 237
Screaming at constellations
Emma Jul 2016
At this moment

The total lack of a fight
Left in my mind

The absence of anything to see
In my eyes

I have so many petty problems
To take up my time

I'm a stupid lonely
Melodramatic teenager

Just like every single
Other one

I have so much to live for
So many things

Until I die
And it's all gone

Did you know
I'm not afraid anymore

Of dying?
I'm not afraid anymore

Of crying
If I could only do it

If I let myself
I could say only you can save me

But I won't embarrass you
With that stupid *******

I don't believe that
You don't believe that

I don't want this anymore
I don't want to be on the floor anymore

I don't want this life
I just want to be nowhere at all

Here or at my house
Curled up in a ball

Or kicking the ******* wall
I need a way out of my head

But don't worry

I can still get out of bed
I can still get up and get dressed

I can still say hello
And good morning

Or shake your hand
If you want me to

All these trivial things
I can do

And who ******* cares
About the rest

About anything
Not me

And not you
Jul 2016 · 350
They're always there
Emma Jul 2016
The latch lifts with a heavy clunk
And like a rusted playground memory
The metal door creaks open slowly
Releasing no light from the dark
And the cold and the infinite parallel worlds
Of nothing

Stitched together lightly, shifting
Silent and brushing past like pedestrians
Or barges on a deep dark canal
Never touching and nearly feeling
The warmth emanating from the cold black and white
Jul 2016 · 215
Emma Jul 2016
To whomever's eyes now trace these words
They were made for you and you only
I am reaching through time to touch you
Isn't that so cool?
Jul 2016 · 241
Emma Jul 2016
Who is out there in the dark?**
A small child peers in from the yellow
The train chatter ceases now

Their station is a world apart

Overflowing and transparent
The muted water in my ears
Like a suffocating viscous fog

Something is in here with me

The people are not real
The ghosts who haunt the streets
To hide from the dark

Afraid to know they're dead

But the boy out there, he sees me
He can see and feel the dark too
And I am so very scared

Of those dark inhuman eyes
Jul 2016 · 527
Endure (Haiku)
Emma Jul 2016
The dark rain will fall
Again, but nevertheless
The rainbow follows
Jul 2016 · 1.4k
Tsunami (tankas)
Emma Jul 2016
The waterlilies
Float above graceful Koi fish
White and cherry red
Amongst ripples cast through ponds
Of alternate dimensions

Whilst white sakura
Flow like the wind through long hair
Outside car windows
During the sunniest days
Of an endless rain season

Clouds glide across sky
Like those wet waterlilies
In search of lost time
Yearning for life in the warm
Recesses of all-being
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