I think he loved drinking
Just a little too much
The bottle clinking his teeth
As Starka dripped past his lips trailing down his chin

I think he loved fighting
Just a little too much
His heart racing as he grabbed my wrist
Smiling at the fear in my eyes

I think he loved touching
Just a little too much
After all, I was his
And I was to do what I was told

It’s hard to think of yourself as a person
When someone else had owned you for so long
I can’t remember the last time I could see bruises on my throat
And think that it was bad
He loved me

“They’re marks of ownership cupcake.”
His teeth biting at my neck as tears streamed down my cheeks
But he’s gone
Left me for some beautiful girl who spoke and the skies lit up
I’ve become a pretty dead thing sitting on the shelf

i dreamt that i liked you
my heart pounding on my rib cage
like a prisoner aching to get out of a cell
you looked heavenly

i dreamt that i kissed you
your lips dripping sugar
and some shimmering powder
i could have sworn was fairy dust

i dreamt that i loved you
i let you into my heart with
my hands shaking waiting
for my undoing, but it never came

i woke with your name in my mouth
you heart beating in time with
the inevitable unrelenting force
of truth,

that you loved me too

To The Girl Who Has The Privilege To Love Him
1. He is quite shy, although he looks tough he will be too timid to talk to you
2. He will hold you as if you are the most precious thing in the world,
no diamonds could ever compare to you
3. When his lips land on your cheek you will be free of all worries,
but only temporarily.
4. He is stellar at making you feel special, but he treats every girl like this
5. You'll never love someone the way you love him
6. He's not very good at taking care of himself. Please take care of him for me.
Make sure he gets enough water, he always hated drinking it.
7. He hardly sleeps. Encourage him to nap, offer your lap when he needs rest.
He will love the comfort of your legs, and knowing you're close.
8. He loves sugar cookies, I used to bake them for him,
he likes 5 cups of sugar instead of 3.
9. Borrow his jackets. He smells like home and I swear to God you will feel
so loved when you wear them.
10. Send him pictures of yourself. A lot. He loves seeing you happy, don't forget to smile.
11. He doesn't get angry often but when he does you'll cry. Not because he's hurting you
but because you simply can't bear seeing him upset.
12. It's always friends before you. Don't force him.
13. He says " I love you" a lot. You'll remember every time he says it.
14. He likes walking you to your bus stop after band practice,
even if it means he has to walk 3 miles home alone.
15. Don't tell him you cried because of something he did. He will never forgive himself
16. Kiss him a lot, while you still can.
17. You'll fall way too hard for him
18. Please treat him well, he deserves the best and only offers the best.
19. Don't get mad at him. Please. i understand sometimes he does bad things
but he's doing his best. i made that mistake one too many times and i still regret it.
20. Give him all the love you can, please i beg you. Treat him right.

Milky, twinkling stars swiveling
in a diamond night sky are beautiful,
and the brightest one will lead you home,
but for now, I want to bring you
out into the light where at the fissure
of pale gold and orange in the blue
sky's dawn, you may suddenly draw
inspiration once again.
I would bring you to the peak of a mountain
to inhale a reservoir of fresh, crisp air
in an altitude of where you feel
you can belong, gazing out towards
the green valley and down the winding path,
leading back down to a narrow world,
but for now, (and eternity)
you can be above them all.  
I see your footsteps left behind on the
snowy cap, crunching beneath your feet
a reminder to both of us how you exist,
a humble memoir in the realness of a hurting,
beautiful being.
And in my dream when you came back
to life, we were spread out wildly on
blossoming, white clouds blown about in
warm winds, and the golden sunlight
brought out the clear, blue- gray in your eyes
and traced the freckles dabbling your cheeks
and you were just laughing,
because you were so free.
But in dark clashes of thunder, when
rain was not somebody's nourishing love
but instead painful, dark tears, there were
people's crude remarks and stark dispiritedness,
I held you tight in my arms, like a tree
sheltering a lone girl from prowling wolves
gathered your tears and turned them
into crystals, knowing one day
you'll teach yourself to throw them at
the narrow world full of paper people
and their paper ideas.
So for now, rest in the cradle
of my warm, loving palms,
and grow into the strong and beautiful
person you most want to become.

We are terribly sorry to inconvenience the public in this way for yet a third time. Due to multiple setbacks in emotional distress, lengthy loneliness, and suicidal overdose ridden thoughts, we are still not ready to welcome the public into our new edifice. As you all know, the most recent Hurricane Heartache undid some of the work we take so much pride in. We ask humbly for your forgiveness and are still unable to give a completion date as of now.

When the sun’s rays
illuminate the awakening, vast sky,
soak through fresh, gathering clouds
and tuck the stars and moon under
a blanket of warmth,
someone will find us,
seated up there on the white bleachers
in the stadium overlooking the track,
breathing in crisp, new air
with squinted eyes soaking in
the gold outlining the horizon,
enjoying a time of solitary togetherness
in an eventful but dazed world
where the color of its inhabitants
are to us, black and white,
but still, we ride on hope and two children's
combined abilities to dream,
and our feet planted firmly, but leaning forward
in an infinite space of chances,
enveloped in quiet moments of each other,
of where we’ve been,
who we are,
and where we’re going.

In my household of four
we go about,
unable to hide our disdain and
dis-contentedness, the fresh regrets
in the mourning of lost time,
there is always an apparent thankfulness because
we weren't born with too much misfortunes, although
circumstances could have been better,
But who is to define the real terms of better
that are always shifting form
in the courses of our existences,
like how back then
the terms of better were to me a library (world)
full of endless books & stars,
loving parents and a youthful, grinning brother
to always be oblivious to the world's troubles
a free, open soul to travel the world
and discover new places and people,
an existence far better than
what the human spirit yearns for,
going beyond the wish that a paradise awaits
for all good of mankind,
an existence that rather
brings the concept of a better world
to life, right here and
right now in the present.
But of now, all I can seem to wish for
are fresh lemons
to flush out the built up toxins and frustrations
in everybody,
a father to stop filling himself
with hot air and oblivion to what he has
especially towards the person
who has been by his side throughout
the world's rains of misery and truth,
a mother to stop being so angry
in her majestic world of self pity and
hard, unyielding pride towards her morals,
a brother to stop growing big enough
to keep throwing things around,
and a dumb, mindless girl to stop crying
and figure out how to get her life back together.