A man once said,
there is always
one promise that remains

that
no matter the price,
a promise to survive
to persevere,
and thrive
as we've always done....

although that man
is now gone from
the universe,

his words
I have burned
into
the back of my mind.

Sometimes
when I descend into
this world of black and white
filled with words bursting of colors,

I see things,
a different light, maybe a different darkness,
a vision of the world, evolving
re-shaping a soft and muddled mess,
like given a chance to
blur out sharp, unyielding thorns
and re-focus on a soft rose,

I hear things,
wind chimes swaying softly
in the warm, night breeze
the sound of pure bliss
in someone's laughter,
a kindness found in
all expressions throughout,

yet there are still
the beautiful soft words, of
a young soul, drawing inspiration
from heartache
and a very quiet pain,

I feel things,
a softness in the corner
of my mind,
a sort of reminder
to express a stroke a color
on the blank canvas of all hearts,
to let my sadness, and overwhelming
despair retreat,

to find a hand,
to hold dearly
to gently wrap my hand
around a heart,

for it is true,
it is.

love,
is an answer.

I wish to hear once again
the wind's gentleness, rustling
the leaves of the trees,

laughter as the sound
of somebody's delight,

a kiss carried across
the endless deserts, oceans,
valleys, skies,

I wish to see again
a stream of warm sunlight,
dancing from my windowsill

the bright and humble beauty
of a blooming, soft petaled flower,

the person's eyes
of whom I can't recall
but I know was the beautiful sun
in the darkness of my life,

I wish to feel again
someone's small, then strong, then earnest,
then old and faded hand, in my hand,

the tears of gratitude
and acknowledgement,
strolling down our cheeks

the love of strangers
who smiled at me,
and somehow knew
who I was inside,

the simple weight
of a single, slim pen
in my hand,

and all I could see
in the end,
was a young person
who could live freely again,
dancing,
in a shimmering light.

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the old man, "I do that too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
"I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
"But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
"I know what you mean," said the little old man.

The newborn shock and delight of a handlit firework stick
can dissipate in less than 3 seconds.

The patience in an hour standing in line for a 30 second thrilling roller coaster ride, is what everyone thinks living in the moment is.

But sometimes I don't mind the longing and emptiness that remains long after

because I want to be a splash of exurbance in people's lives, disappearing in a flash when love is finally settled.

I'd want people to miss me for eternity, but at the same time I'd escape eternities full of flaws and misunderstandings with them.

So if goodbye is what it takes to be remembered or longed for so achingly,

Capture the person's smile and all your favorite things before
letting go.

eliminate any means
of dependence

2. perform simple everyday tasks
with grace,
and be prepared to face
the bigger ones

3. reflect upon yourself,
do what is right, and there will be
no need to feel regret

4. live for yourself,
for your happiness
that is real

5. forgive yourself first,
and then
forgive others

6. make the people
involved in your life
happy

7. let go of the past,
appreciate the present,
and embrace
the future

This week,
I trudged along the cold, salty
waters of the rocking ocean,

I swung my feet gracefully
and walked along the sandy shore,
a ballerina, stretching her feet
to form light, bittersweet
curse words in the sand,

I tilted my head back
to drink in all of the sky,
the stars twinkled
and swallowed me whole,

I scanned the rising horizon
for miles, reached out to abandoned shells
placed at my feet,
quietly listened to the sad, melodic
voices, of gleaming sirens
in the ocean's heart

But despite my breathlessness
in the crisp air, of the gray ocean
I still could not
find you,
the one I so yearn to meet,
the one who could
make me forget the sorrows,
the delicate, hidden pain,

the one who I deserve
to love,
because now, everything else
is no longer worth a thing,

and everyday,
is still like

the stars
going out
in my empty soul.