there was a time
when i was enough for myself . . .
and i do not remember the exact moment
when i decided that i was no longer good.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

i wish you could understand
why i am,
the way i am.

i wish you could understand,
why i think too much.
why i hate wednesdays.
why mornings are difficult and nights are not.
why i prefer the moon over the sun.
and why i don’t love myself,
as much as you love me.

i just wish you could understand me.
but you don’t.
and that’s fine.
because i don’t understand me,
either

we sounded so much more beautiful last year
now we just sound like two animals
going at it

Red beads wrapped around my lady legs

Red potato skins still crawling through Southern dregs

Red lipstick, too expensive for sad my two lips live

Red lights, stop signs. Oh how much I would give

To see you smile

And stay a while

Let's pretend we don't exist

Red burns from falling down

In those sweet eyes, I feel no lies

Take me, embrace me

Red, red, red

I carry a mask in my purse
for special occasions.
Turns out
wherever there’s people
there:
occasion