Wake up.

Wait a moment after you open your eyes,thinking and wanting to just go back to bed.

Realize you can’t.

Sit up and look out the window. Contemplate jumping out.

Distract yourself and tell yourself you’ll jump tomorrow.

Get dressed, wander to the bathroom thoughtlessly, and do the same mundane tasks you do every morning.

Start to smile. Who knows,maybe you’ll fool yourself.

Repeat the next day.

I should have said something.
I love you
Wait up
Don't leave me
I’m sorry

But i didn't
And you walked away


I should say something
Hello
How are you
I missed you
I’m sorry
Forgive me

But i don’t

And you walk away


I should say something if i see you again

But if i do

I already know i won’t say anything

And you'll walk away

And leave me alone

With no one

Nothing

But my own regrets

There’s infinite universes,right?
I think you told me about some theory ,once upon a time, that there’s infinite universes,all different, in at least some minor aspect.
That means there’s one where dogs wear hats and clothes and walk people who try to eat squirrels.
That means there’s one where colorful dirt runs the world.
One where cities move on the back of giant reptiles
One where fairies kidnap people and magic is real.

I’d like that theory to be true.


I’d like to think it is,at least.
I’d like to think there’s one
Where I’m not empty inside.
One where we’re having burgers
At that place you liked- It had a color in its name, and the dog is barking and running around,and we’re laughing at some inside joke,and I don't consider jumping out the window every single day,and we’re happy.

Well, time to get up…
Back to dreary reality,
I wonder what would happen if I just stayed in bed all day.
Would anyone really notice?
Would anyone even care?

Got up. Not paying attention to anything really.
I just want to go back to bed.
When i’m dreaming, i don't have to do the same thing over and over.
I’m just going through the motions in real life.

Almost time for bed, but i'm too overwhelmed to even go upstairs.
That’s it. I give up.
I’m Tired.

I’m lost.
What do you want me to do?
Whatever you want.
Yeah, but that’s just code for
you-should-know-what-I-want-you-to-do-without-asking-me.
If I don’t pick the option I’m supposed to,
The first time around,
Without asking what to do,
People will be disappointed, mad at me,
And you know what?
I'll be mad at myself, disappointed in myself, too
It’s like that game,
Where there’s a coin under one of three hats,
The hats get spun around,
And you have to guess which hat has the coin.
Only if you pick the wrong hat,
You’ll never be anything but The One Who Was Wrong, the embarrassing one,forever.
And guess what?
Surprise. There was never any coin in the first place,
Just a sick, stupid, meaningless
Choice of options,
That aren’t really options at all.