you’ve been trying too hard to fall in love,
but when love comes to you in pieces;
you walk away, thinking it isn’t enough.

you’ve been trying to find someone mature,
but when stability comes into your life;
you find it boring in the first place.

you’ve been trying to fill your voids,
but when warmth tries to touch you;
you refuse it because you’re cold.

you’ve been trying to find perfection,
but no one is perfect and no one will be
yet you don’t care about who is there
cause’ what’s available to you isn’t worthy.

The emptiness in my eyes,
The truth behind my lies,
The fall before my rise,
And the goodbyes;

It scares me.

The dark beneath my skin,
The light within my sins,
The voice that loudly sings,
And my broken wings;

It scares me.

The wounds I can't heal,
The pain I can't feel,
The loss I can't deal,
And when I am real;

It scares me.

The silence in my little talks,
The stillness in my moonlit walks,
The thought of separate ways,
And my numbered days;

It scares me.

The demons under my bed,
The words spinning in my head,
The blood in my sweat,
And my cold breath;

It scares me.

-Paras Bajaj #PoetrybyParas
Instagram : @mr.parasbajaj

you may or may not find this,
in the middle of the night
or on a rainy sunday afternoon.

my mind runs rampant,
while my heart is still,
because i realized what love is
at the very least, a fragment of it;

love looks past flaws and chaos,
past the foreseeable risk & damage,
and i know i did amidst it all
leaving no room for me to regret.

i know i tugged your soul
towards a better light, a better day
because i stayed with you at your worst
and now remain bewildered when you say
you've changed for the better.

forgive a heart that wavered,
i used to think love is a home;
we always move someplace better
when all the heart feels is nothing but homeless.

i had to unlearn that.

to venture love as strength,
to lose and find oneself over
and over again & be better;
because lost is a lovely place
to find oneself,
and to begin again.

and as i bid you my final farewell,
i'd like to let you know
that i'll tuck the memories within,
hold them dearly and know deep in myself;
i have loved and i have no regrets.

and i will love again,
break again,
get lost again,
find myself & begin again.

IA

as words escape from their hidden space
their meanings are free and open to embrace
as they descended from the keeper of words
they have to decide if they were nouns or verbs
take just a minute and try to understand
language is different and tough to command
some words in English, sound just the same
THEIR objective is THERE and THEY’RE quite the word game....

Brian Hill - 2021 # 16