94 days ago I wrote a goodbye letter
94 days ago I nearly ended it all
The heartache I was in the tears I cried felt like a hole I couldn't get out,
94 days later I'm still here
I have changed as a person,
I'm in a better place now, I fighted through my darkest night.
I admited to my friends and they showed me care that I never thought I would see.
94 days ago opened my eyes to see the truth.
I'm glad I failed 94 days ago

I never noticed before, how your eyes shine and sparkle when you smile. That smile is like the light I need when I'm deep in the dark

The dimples that appear when you talk make you look so innocent and handsome.

I never noticed before how I think I like you more than a friend, you will never know because I don't ever wish to lose you as a friend and I'm just happy to have you as a friend even if I can't have more then that.

How are you
I hope your okay
I want to ask but I know I won't
I know you wouldn't tell me the truth,
I do wish I didn't care but I won't ever stop, I know I don't cross your mind and that hurts.
But all I can do is wonder,
How are you

So I got told by someone that meant a lot to me that I am the problem,
Nothing I done seamed to have been good enough,
Cause I am the problem,
I worked hard to do what ever they wanted but still get told
I am the problem,
At least it's nice to know that at the end of it all everything that happened was because,
I am the problem

Goodnight Nana
My heart broke this morning,
You was alone and without family near you.
I hope you're now at peace.
When I first met you all those years ago you told me to always call you Nana, and I never stopped.
I'll raise a glass in your name, when all of this is over and celebrate your life just like you would have wanted

I feel like I'm going insane
My mental state is slipping again,
I'm trying hard every day to keep the thoughts away
But the waves keep coming and crashing harder then before
Don't know how much longer I can take,
Before I end up under the waves and don't come back

Today you ripped my heart out again, you destroyed what I tried to repair, I helped you out not that long ago and today you throw it back into my face.
My lesson has been learned
To always be careful who you let in.
Some words today showed me the light
We will never end up how we were and I think I am now grateful cause I'm letting you go

I'm missing you more and more
The days seam grayer than before, I hope it starts getting better.
Really wish I could stop missing you

Why am I so unlovable?
Why can't I find happiness?
No matter what I do everyone leaves,
I just want someone to mean it when they say they love me
What makes me unlovable?
Why do people take advantage of the care I give
I feel useless and worthless, I just want to give up so badly
Why can't I find happiness? What else do I need to do to find love

We knew this would happen
It isn't any easier
Not ready to say goodbye
I hope you can stay a little longer
Not ready to see you go
But I know the fight is fading
And you're ready to fly
It doesn't make it any easier
Don't want to say goodbye

My skin is itching to feel the sharp coldness run across my once clear skin,
The itching gets stronger everyday no matter how much I ignore it, I don't want to keep doing it but it's the only thing that makes everything clear.

It's an addition I wish I could drop but I don't think I ever will

I just want to be happy for once and not fake it like I have been, maybe one day I won't give into the itch

4 months ago my life changed
4 months ago you ripped my heart in 2
There are days I wish I never met you, and others I'm thankful I did.
You showed me what love was but you also showed me the pain.
I thought everything was fine, we was planning to move but then it changed, it was like a full 360 trun
You told me you loved me and would always love me, I thought I knew you I guess I was wrong

4 years was great the best of my life, maybe I was blind and couldnt see that your eyes fell on someone that wasnt me

My mind is racing and I need it to stop,
My sleep is no longer peaceful cause I dream about it a lot.
I need to talk to someone before it eats me alive, but I am terrified in cause I have it all wrong.
My mind is racing and it just won't stop I'm afraid to admit it
Maybe if I ignore it, it will fade
My mind is racing and I don't know what to do

I feel lost and confused, I am struggling again and it's getting harder to keep a smile on my face.

With everything that has been going on its getting too much to handle, I wish I could have seen you one last time.

Told you I loved you one last time

I feel lost and I don't know what to do anymore

Cancer
That word alone speaks so much
"I'm sorry its cancer"
I'm so sick of hearing those words
"Nothing we can do"
Cancer is just a word to some but its a soul distroyer to others.
The fight is fading from your eyes,
You have been through so much its draining that spark.
I wish I could do more
I am sick of hearing that word
"I'm sorry its cancer"

Today's your birthday
A day I looked forward to
Now I hate it,
It brings back all the fun times we had
I wish I could spend the day with you, watching films, out with friends.
But I know you don't want that
All I can say is Happy birthday to myself cause you wouldn't even reply if I said it to you.