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Sitting in my silence of solitude,
I won't spark a conversation.
Won't fight if I'm the exclude,
I'll be fine with this isolation.
I know I won't become that focal point,
For I'm much too afraid I'll disappoint.
I'm not that shy in actuality, mainly just afraid of letting people down
I have kissed boys

Girls

People in between

But lately I have been kissing bottles

Their lips are colder than yours

But slowly I have realized that the pounding headache when I wake is less hurtful than the shattering in my chest

Yet as these toxins rush through my veins

I can't help but miss the tracing of your fingers along my skin

Miss the numbness of the world when you lie with me

But when I wake I remember that a headache is treated with an aspirin

While heartache

Well if you have a cure for Heartache let me know
And I —
had all this time to cry,
but I never gave up —
I had to keep on trying.
© Alicia Kapudag 2020
I wanted to keep you,
But
I know I can't,
So
I turned you into Poetry.
And
Finally called you mine.
when I can't see her smile
it's like the tunnel gets 100 miles longer
and it gets harder
to see the light
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