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I spend too many nights thinking
Wondering, writing, dreaming
Of someone who doesn't even think of me
 Apr 2021 allanbrunmier
You will lose a good 60 seconds reading this
A 60 seconds that will not go amiss
The average life expectancy
For humans is 79 years nowadays
You probably already said; “so what”
Let me put it this way
If you were to live for 79 years
From the day you were born
That means you actually have
Two Billion,
Four Hundred Ninety One Million,
Three Hundred Forty For Thousand Seconds
By the time you read this?
Well! I don’t know!
All I know is that
Some of us spend these seconds
Lying, cheating, fighting, stealing
Frustrating over their sorry *****
Or letting others hurt themselves
While some others spending them
Learning, teaching, sharing
Laughing, chilling
Transcending and loving
Don’t get me wrong.
I’m just saying, you know?
You are free to choose either path
Now, at least, you know the math
She looked at him like he was the sun,
In that she never looked at him,
Except out of frustration.

She complained when he was gone,
But she never looked.

On days he was stronger, she hid from him
On days he was muted, she complained.

She never looked at him until he was leaving,
And in the beauty of the sunset she wondered how,
She'd never seen him before
Found this on Tumblr a while ago, felt I’d share it
Say they are okay when they are not.
Hide their sounds of crying from me.
Flinch at the sound of my voice.
Want to be alone when I am around.

For if my child feels the way I feel,
I apologize.
I did not intend for you to experience my childhood.
I never want you to feel the same.

I don’t want you to lie awake,
Being the mother I wasn’t there to be.
Nursing yourself back to dry eyes.
Telling yourself you are okay when you know you aren’t.

I want them to wake me up when they cry,
To know that their mind comes first.
To know that their feelings are valid no matter what.
I need them to know that mental health is invisible but not unnoticed.
How do I turn the years around?
Still can't find the lever
Why can I not face reality?
Give up this idea of forever

Balance breaking around you
I can't let go and be free
None of this nonsense will regain time lost
It's like you are unable to see

There are way too many bad decisions
I'm trapped by remorse for all
Know I should forgive and forget
I guess my heart is too small

What happened to trusting nature?
When did life stop feeling good?
Can't keep living a comparison
To where I once gladly stood

So I try to focus on the future
You promise not to forget the past
Try to leave regrets behind
Hold me because the minutes fly too fast
Hold onto me, don't keep frantically trying to ****** time up out of the air because while you do that you are missing out on moments happening in the present
 Nov 2020 allanbrunmier
He cried like rain
And screamed like thunder

And I

I was a quiet river deafened by his storms
When the world sees people?
We then are a better world.

Nothing about promoting the proudness of a certain gender.
Nothing about promoting a certain anything of race.

But people coming together to be in a better place.

But most of us simply see race.

When the world sees people?
Only then we see peace.
There's so much that I can't say
that saying anything at all leaves me in dismay
~much love
Oh the leaps our
mind makes from
one lilypad

to another
across a pond

with water
as night

whit howland © 2020
An absurdist word painting. It's okay not to like it. You have my permission.
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