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1d · 33
Dare I swing higher than my head
Seek a thrill, avoid the dread
Walk along the perilous edge
Or cower on comfort’s ledge

Shall I let loose laughter like a loon
Or purse it as a reedy tune
Should I sob on heart’s bitter break
Or quell it with chocolate cake

Shall I love with passions full
Or restrict a feeling’s pull
Shall I sail on music swells
Or row tone-dead between buoy bells

Shall I reveal my deepest self
Or tuck it away on a shelf
Shall I wander in the field at large
Or park myself in my home’s garage
Bam Bam Bam
Mary shot a ***** ram
Unfortunately, caught on videocam
To save her cosset, now SHE'S on the lam
Sep 5 · 49
Tell Me True
Oh my dear, please tell me true
Perhaps I’m just feeling blue
But is my fear undue
Am I loved by you

I admit I have no clue
Maybe it’s the fifth brew
But I sense we’re through
Tell me, am I loved by you

It’s not just a point of view
There’s not been a recent *****
Forgive, it’s not the way to woo
But, am I loved by you

Not as if I caught the flu
We used to be like Elmer’s glue
Now you prefer eschew
For god’s sake, am I loved by you

It used to be “those two”
Most everyone knew
We were a crew
Don’t delay your answer, am I loved by you

Has a secret lover scored a coup
Is it time to say adieu
Is this an affair I’ll forever rue
Please, am I loved by you

Tell me true
Sep 2 · 167
Old Tree
life outweighs my years
it resides inside like sap
memories drying
Aug 31 · 139
Sunshine Brings Shadows
allanbrunmier Aug 31
Rose early, fixed me a cup of coffee
Sitting on my back porch
Watching the awakening sun
Filter through the grove
Bringing light and a trace of warmth

Once again miss your sleepy snuggle
And sweet morning kiss
My arms felt especially empty today
Would have been our 40th
Vile cancer took you some 5 years ago

Sometimes, I wish I had not risen
Just lay in bed with dreams of you
But life screams the futility of that
Rue we had no children
But a few friends remain

Am I becoming more like the silent trees
Less able to speak with others
Lonely citadels to the noise of the day
Half-seeing and half-feeling
If only I could pull up the covers of night
Aug 30 · 54
Life's a Beach
allanbrunmier Aug 30
Gulls squawking complaints
against the ocean
washing o’er tasty sandcrabs
with its perfunctory motion

On barefeet, I trod the damp
and crunchy sand,
drawing closer to the water,
smelling the kelp infested land

Someday I’ll travel far
Sail to distant places
Wash off this grit and tar
Find what another shore replaces

In the meantime,
breathe deep the morning air
Feel the awakening of day
Subdue this wanderlust prayer

The horizon will be there tomorrow
No urgency to flee
The ocean e’er eases my sorrow
I’ll always yearn for the sea
Aug 27 · 179
allanbrunmier Aug 27
the dark night blinds me
yet I see not in day’s glare
my eye needs shadows
Aug 26 · 35
Holy Wrath
allanbrunmier Aug 26
fly atop my hand
brings a brisk reactive slap
oh merciless god
Aug 26 · 483
allanbrunmier Aug 26
summer laughter sings
until winter brings its chill
icy silence forms
Aug 26 · 53
My Hourglass
allanbrunmier Aug 26
time for me is near
born in water, die in sand
a blink in God’s eye
Aug 26 · 85 10 words
allanbrunmier Aug 26
Not any choice of word
Can capture song of bird
Aug 24 · 81
allanbrunmier Aug 24
Oh bountiful joy tumble down.
Cascade to my heart
and roil up my soul.
Fill me to the perimeter
and strain me to burst.

I know you are ephemeral
and may never come again,
so know that I’ll relish you
like the firefly you are.
Aug 23 · 47
Breadth of Loss
allanbrunmier Aug 23
It’s not just remembering
It’s so much more
Those moments unspoken
When I should’ve said adore

Now an inability to share
Any sudden burst of laughter
Any glimpse of beauty
Sleepy embraces the morning after

Not just minutes but whole days void of you
Can no longer reach you by telephone
Realizing now you’re not at home when I’m away
Without my queen, an empty throne

I pray that in another life
You’ll again become my wife
Aug 22 · 86
allanbrunmier Aug 22
please don’t tie my hands
no love, just violent thrusts
be kind, genetics

bless my child

if love begets love
what does violence beget
does a bad seed grow

does hate spawn more hate
is that evolution's role
just steps from jungle

is there balance here
between predator and prey
is the produce mixed

since the birth of man
savagery slow to change
what hope is there

empathy was mine
before that fateful nightmare
is it still alive

bless my child
Aug 21 · 44
allanbrunmier Aug 21
The morning sun squinted bloodshot rays
through the eastern clouds

Let's hope today doesn’t produce
the same hangover tomorrow

Yesterday’s woes often linger
It’s funny that joy doesn’t last as long
Aug 20 · 172
Sunset in July
allanbrunmier Aug 20
daylight scorching close
draining last remnant moisture
let’s drink from the night
Aug 19 · 72
allanbrunmier Aug 19
It was a placid scene
So serene

I was transfixed between
The why and me
The sky and sea

Between blue and green
Aug 18 · 61
The Blue Eye
allanbrunmier Aug 18
Not sharing morning coffee
Chatting about the coming day
I miss the warm laughter
Over the breakfast tray

The hours ahead seem empty
Sunshine a waste of time
Does it really matter
The sun's daily climb

Perhaps a random dream
Awakened this melancholy
Hard to find a purpose
Today seems empty folly

It’s been three years
Since fate stole her life
Ripped my world apart
And robbed me of my wife

Tomorrow is beyond my view
A wallowing in pointless grief
No longer have a “you”
Even her memory seems too brief
Aug 17 · 110
allanbrunmier Aug 17
blue of our planet
birthplace depository
we must fathom
Aug 17 · 1.1k
allanbrunmier Aug 17
silent library
those unspoken words on shelves
I ache to voice them
Aug 16 · 53
Nature's Vengence
allanbrunmier Aug 16
OK, do your worst
Open the earth and spew lava burst

Wrench land between my feet
Split houses and concrete

Howl your wind across the land
Hurl animals and man

Melt snowcaps and ice packs
Raise water levels to the max

Now surge oceans and the seas
Let us drown with weakened knees

Wash the mountains with drying tears
Weeping into wadi spheres

Let loose toxins from below
Poison wells and river flow

Fly insects who gobble farms
That spread disease and raise alarms

All these things I anticipate
I know the power you create

But hear me, we will survive
Aug 15 · 72
allanbrunmier Aug 15
I carry analog collections of myself
From moment to moment
With imperfect memories
And slightly altered desires

Now here’s the mystery
How much of me
Must there be
To retain my identity
Aug 14 · 208
allanbrunmier Aug 14
dewdrops on dead leaves
windblown seeds on rock debris
not everything grows
Aug 14 · 87
The Wishing Well
allanbrunmier Aug 14
I dropped it in the wishing well
May it sink straight to hell
Inside my heart an anguished yell
No romantic knell of wedding bell
Only an engagement ring fell
Aug 13 · 129
The Weight of Me
allanbrunmier Aug 13
Floating like flotsam in the space-time-continuum,
tethered only by a gossamer sense of self,
how important could I be?
Aug 12 · 54
The Argument
allanbrunmier Aug 12
All right we had a row
That I won’t disavow
Between me and my lovely frau
God, she had a cow

Over some silly matter
I didn’t say she was getting fatter
At least it wasn’t directly at her
Just mentioned she could use a bigger platter

Get out, you coldhearted *******
Go out again and just get plastered
Too much pride to see a pastor
This marriage's a total disaster

It’s freezing outside
And that’s not just the downside
I know at home she has cried and cried
And I admit that I lied and lied

What has happened to our loving way
Perhaps I can’t ignore any distressful day
Felt compelled to drag it home in full display
Whine about the unjust pay

I swear I’ll turn things around
Focus on the home ground
Remember what once we found
Recreate something profound

Can’t go home with so much anger
Swimming in a sea of languor

A clenched fist can’t find home in a glove
But an open hand can touch fingers of love
Aug 11 · 69
Wedding Vows
allanbrunmier Aug 11
With this ring I thee wed
Until I'm dead
Did you hear what I just said
I must be out of my head
Aug 10 · 35
Soulmate Dream
allanbrunmier Aug 10
fill this black space with light
bring your day to my endless night

pour your feelings into this empty jar
enter my firmament as a star

caress my soul with loving grace
comfort me to another place

let me reunite with my trusting youth
have faith again in eternal truth

see afresh the morning promise
destroy in me the doubting thomas

bring calm to hidden rages
help me through the final stages

assuage all the lingering pain
return sanity to this fevered brain

I want to live with you forever
to be full partner in joint endeavor
Aug 10 · 162
Knowledge A Darkly Thing
allanbrunmier Aug 10
Most think of knowledge as light
But it really thrives at night
When thoughts flow like comet flight

A spark unseen has no meaning
Memory soon after its birth is weaning
The mind is ever cleaning

Only at night can ideas unite
Sometimes in nightmarish fright
They clash to provide insight

An abnormal mixture of bric-a-brac
May upset the normal track
Cause a forgotten flashback

A juxtaposition of random visions
Provides meaningful collisions
Will form constructive revisions

So, submit to the fearful dream
Give in to its varied scheme
You may find life's underlying theme
Aug 10 · 36
Someday Dream
allanbrunmier Aug 10
I see you from afar
At a dance or at a fair
Even here in this bar
Could be anywhere

You’re in a different class
We’re vast worlds apart
I drink you in my glass
You’re ever in my heart

You’re the girl I’ll never get
Too pretty and too nice
It’s the longest shot, and yet
Maybe one day you’ll think twice
Aug 10 · 129
allanbrunmier Aug 10
Vile, vile proteins corroding her brain
Synapses misfiring, ego down the drain

Heartbreaking to see her disappear
Bit by bit, especially the last year

Traces of her charm still come and go
Changing but dreadfully slow

First it was, “Where is my coat?”
Then, “How do you use the remote?”

Mood swings from laughter to tears
Eroding into halluncinatory fears

Angry transferences from caregiver to caregiver
What was an emotional ocean, now an unchecked river

No longer wakens with the dawn
Where has this lovely lady gone

We all want her back
But slipping through the proverbial crack

Alas, I know the end is near
Perhaps in this very year

She’s becoming paper thin
A mask over empty skin

I miss her and my fading memory of her
Now mere fragments and a diminishing blur
Aug 4 · 33
cry til angels die
sorrow flows full force
down through inner valleys
awash o’er empty days
unstopped by pleasant moments

I feel it at times
when the evening is hushed
when I hear you in a distant room
pass a picture longly hung

I see you in my children’s eyes
will often envy another’s hug
yearn to ease this persistent ache
sometimes pray for death to reach your side
Aug 4 · 43
Whispers from the Sun
Oh lunar beauty don’t go
You rarely visit in the day
You’re often gone when I awake
You shine when I’m away

You dance among the stars
While I must dance alone
I seek your reflected wisdom
So we can share heaven’s throne

We’ll rule with blended passion
From cool blue to heated yellow
All on earth will benefit
From despondent lass to hopeful fellow

I’ve loved you from afar
I know our worlds align
Please don’t ignore my plea
We're fated to be divine
Aug 2 · 39
Someday Dream
I see you from afar
At a dance or at a fair
Even here in this bar
Could be anywhere

You’re in a different class
We’re vast worlds apart
I drink you in my glass
You’re ever in my heart

You’re the girl I’ll never get
Too pretty and too nice
It’s the longest shot, and yet
Maybe one day you’ll think twice
Jul 28 · 40
allanbrunmier Jul 28
First, there is the inner world,
a wild electric universe of neurons
that miraculously grasps the reality of me.

Then there is the world of you and me,
an intimate involvement of emotions and senses;
a world within worlds, where I long to stay as long as possible.

And, of course, the world of family and friends,
whom I view in imperfect reflections and impressions,
in prisms of biased, fragmented judgments, memories and feelings.

Then there is the world of others, most of those like distant planets as Pluto, are assuredly not what they first seem to be.

All these worlds are shaped by my perceptions, schooled by unfinished studies and ignorant appreciations of art.

Am I totally adrift in these universes? Should I cling to comfortable worlds where I can find solace and absence of fear?

A comprehension of these various worlds is unsettling and beyond my limited ability. I am spinning and orbiting among dark energy and dark matter and I will never fully understand the light.
Jul 20 · 227
I Remember You
allanbrunmier Jul 20
In the shallow of my sadness
At the outer edge of madness
I remember you

I see you laughing in the rain
You’re forever singing in my brain
I remember you

Can’t forget the warm texture of your skin
You invade whatever mood I’m in
I remember you

My world capsized when you died
I fled but could not hide
You’re so very deep inside
I remember you
Jul 20 · 39
allanbrunmier Jul 20
E’er the Side of the Pane Where Raindrops run
Neath Frigid Moon or Searing Sun

Out of Focus in a Crowd
A Null A Void A Nameless Shroud

An Unread Map with no Relief
No Mountains of Joy no Vales of Grief

Spent Items in a Grocery Cart
Hunger Pangs and Aching Heart

Trepidations and Chilling Frights
Nightmares in Perilous Nights

Robotic Sounds of Traffic Whine
Background Noise to Self Decline

A Wine Soaked Erosion of Young Ambition
A Numbing of all Volition

My Sullen Steps in Alleyways
Endless Nights and Endless Days

Will I ever see a HUE in Grey
Will I ever find a YOU in They
Another of my teenage poems
Jul 20 · 30
Stormy Sea
allanbrunmier Jul 20
Grab a line and hold on tight,
The ocean’s screaming in the wind.

The salt is stinging my blurring eyes.
My wet body is numbing my bones,

The ship is moaning with the strain.
Its bow is dipping in the waves.

The halyards are whipping against the mast.
Sails are shredding.

But wait, I’m here on the beach.
There is no storm, no ship in sight.

Is this my mind in dreadful turmoil?
Do I fear an impending fate?

Can I secure myself to an inner core?
Can I save myself?
Jul 19 · 79
My Sanctuary
allanbrunmier Jul 19
I love to hold you near
Kiss your throat
Kiss your ear

I can feel your inner self
Can find your impish elf
When we tumble from our daily shelf

We strip away perfunctory grace
I can trace your wondrous face
We reach an enchanting place

In quiet moments of the day
Sometimes, when we’re at play
We anchor in this intimate bay

But it’s really in the night
In the dimming softness of the light
That troubles oft take flight

It’s the greatest of life’s pleasure
It stretches wide our love’s full measure
It’s a place I’ll always treasure
Jul 16 · 55
After the Breakup
allanbrunmier Jul 16
I scrape the bottom of my heart
for any remaining morsel of your love.
I’ve long forgotten the taste of your kiss.

Since the separation,
the image of you has fragmented
into scattered pixels.
I know now that only the frequent
contacts kept the vision of you intact.

The music of your laughter
has dissipated in the daily noise.
Your greeting voice no longer chimes.

It started with an angry word
that pride elevated into something more.
What a fool I was to react that way.
I’m still haunted by that dreadful day.

A year has passed with silent interaction.
I’ve heard you found someone new.
You do deserve much more of life.
My divorce forever robbed me of my wife.
Jul 16 · 212
allanbrunmier Jul 16
solitary bird
winging across ashen sky
every nest gone
Jul 16 · 37
After the Breakup
allanbrunmier Jul 16
I scrape the bottom of my heart
for any remaining morsel of your love.
I’ve long forgotten the taste of your kiss.

Since the separation,
the image of you has fragmented
into scattered pixels.
I know now that only the frequent
contacts kept the vision of you intact.

The music of your laughter
has dissipated in the daily noise.
Your greeting voice no longer chimes.

It started with an angry word
that pride elevated into something more.
What a fool I was to react that way.
I’m still haunted by that dreadful day.

A year has passed with silent interaction.
I’ve heard you found someone new.
You do deserve much more of life.
My divorce forever robbed me of my wife.
Jul 16 · 34
The Sea is Waiting
allanbrunmier Jul 16
early morning barefoot walk
hear the drumming ocean waves
smell the scattering of kelp

see whiteheads floating out
hear the squawking gulls
hear breaking waves seething ashore

feel cold sand crunch neath toes
burrow them in for a little warmth
you and your board are primed for briny sprint
Written in a contest where the host wanted to bring back memories for his old surfer grandfather
Jul 16 · 49
allanbrunmier Jul 16
Is there mocking behind blue skies and fleecy clouds?
Are there silent sneers in the passing crowds?

Do I detect irony in a friendly wink?
Is there disdain from my supporting shrink?

Is there hidden “tolerance” in your loving smile?
Is there a demon growing in our little child?

How can I know with full assurance,
that my knowledge is not a dream?
Is my life a random occurrence,
or just a malevolent scheme?

Will I ever reach a comfort level
that brings serenity to my life?
Is there a merciful god or just a devil
who relishes in our eternal strife?
Title is a turn off but I'm just exploring the negative mind
Jul 16 · 81
The Affair
allanbrunmier Jul 16
It was friction free,
did we slip into love?
Could this be;
what could I be thinking of?

It was at a neighbor’s party,
she was a friend of a friend.
Someone was being arty.
Our winks met in a condescend.

We flirted.
Her eyes were warm and knowing.
Our partners were averted.
Latent passions were growing.

I felt a primal urge.
There was something ****** in her smile.
My pulse began to surge.
It was wonderfully juvenile.

I embraced her laugh.
I envisioned her lovely body.
I guiltily checked for my other half.
Was this something suddenly shoddy?

It was getting too strong.
Was there a turning back?
We probably both knew it was wrong,
but we were on greased track.

Our partners found us.
Did they notice our tête-à-tête?
If they did there was no fuss.
We all agreed the party was great.

I still think of her
and what might have been.
Was it the gin?
Was it a sin?
Is this just how random lives spin?
Musings on a random flirtation
allanbrunmier Jul 16
The setting moon leaked silver into the languid sea
The sailor lay below in the murky deep
Far from the glimmering light
He who could fix any boat lay with those no one could heal
His parents Dee and Beep wept with sorrow
As did his wife Tina at the marina edge

But the day will come when white clouds and blue sky
Will kiss the sunlit sea and their dogs Brady and Otis
Will romp in the joyous surf with the sailor’s beloved Farley dog
And they’ll know the sailor and Farley will forever move with the ocean tide
And forever live in their hearts

A sailor can’t leave footprints in the sea
But Gary left his on the home shore of friends and family
All our lives are traced in water
But some are etched in loving memory
I wrote 1st time in 50 years for my friend Gary and for wife Tina, his parents Dee and Beep and even for Gary's departed dog Farley. Gary sadly died suddenly from unsuspected colon cancer stage IV at the age of 48. Gary was a merchant sailor and later tug boat engineer. He could fix anything afloat. © 4 years ago, Allan E Brunmier
Jul 16 · 320
Lost in the Woods
allanbrunmier Jul 16
Why did I stray from familiar path
There was safety in the light
Now darkness has overtook
Predators lurk in the night

Deep into the woods I’ve roamed
Amidst the rustling trees
Attuned to every chirping sound
How sinister the sudden breeze

In foolish disregard I drifted
In pursuit of wanton dreams
Do I hear a siren’s call
Or is it a victim’s screams

Oh I wish I could return
To the sanity of day
Filled with loves and likes
Not this pernicious grey

I must burst through the darkened grove
Free my mind of fear
Re-attach myself to the core of you
Enfold in your courageous sphere
Jul 15 · 308
Ignore the Void
allanbrunmier Jul 15
Foolish to seek feeling from the great beyond
Explore as you might this murky pond
It’s only the tadpole next to you who can respond
Jul 14 · 36
A Bitter Death
allanbrunmier Jul 14
What right have you
To presume to cry
While you are you
And I am I

In every Autumn
Dies a leaf
Was not our love
Just as brief

Nothing lasts but
Stone and fire
Don't believe the
Pulpit’s choir

You must know that
The void's so vast
And time's so free
There is no past

Stone is common
And life's so rare
Why should we ever
Deign to care

There's no order
Just random chance
There's no border
Round happenstance

And yet you cry
And declare your union
Just let me die
Without communion

Please don’t waste
A tear or sigh
While you are you
And I am I
One of my teenage poems, many moons ago.
Jul 14 · 34
allanbrunmier Jul 14
Near cool running waters,
I contemplate life’s stream.
With two caring daughters,
later years have been a dream.

After months, my wife went under,
cancer stopped her flow.
To the end she was a wonder,
her family in safe tow.

I miss her at the river side,
and in every little eddy.
She navigated with sailor pride,
her course was always steady.

I was supposed to be the captain,
but relied on my first mate.
She sensed my skills were latent,
and so kept our vessel straight.

When I reach the final shore,
and cinch the mooring tether,
She’ll greet me at Neptune’s door,
with eternal sailing weather.
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