The rope around my neck will never hold me up long enough to see God.
The slits on my wrist that turn my bath water red won’t ever sound like songs sung by the choir.
The bottles of water and pills aren’t the same as the body and blood of Jesus Christ, but I use them as they are.
The bruises that cover my skin aren’t kisses from angels, but when you kissed them, I felt angels lips on my skin.
When you spoke words, I felt God around me, and while you were inside of me, I felt holy.
The times I spent on my knees felt like I was praying for your mercy, but unlike God, you won’t forgive my sins.
So if I get to heaven and don’t see your face, then I will finally understand who you are.
You left me with a tan line on my ring finger and a prayer on my lips.

I wish I chose me
Instead of you
But, I didn't
Now we are here
Who do I choose
I can't choose us both

maybe your hand does fit better in hers
and her wrists will be clean,
And the acid in her stomach will stay there.
her hands won’t shake while talking to your parents
and while you guys make love, she won’t cry because she had never felt so much love inside of her
and maybe her lungs won’t be stained black from cigarettes and
her veins won’t have alcohol running through them as much as mine did
hopefully, her bones will be stronger, and when she gets pushed down they won’t all shatter
and she will only be left with bruises and scratches on her knees