cuddle me
enclasp me
squeeze me
he says.

to keep me forever.  
squeeze me
to remember how you feel in this moment-before i’m gone.
squeeze me
to bathe in our love-powerful like the sun.
squeeze me
to paint our sins in your head.
squeeze me
to let our love envelop our minds and bodies intertwined.

and i can’t get enough

squeeze me
he says
so i do.

i am powerless in the way of your pain-
which drives me to a place of insanity.
since i am impotent-i will promise you instead.

i promise to help you smile on your darkest days.
i promise to be your light where all the goodness has vanished.
i promise to find the words when your tongue has been removed.
i promise to stand when your knees give out.
i promise to be your music when your fingers break.
i promise to be the warm body holding you during a nightmare.
i promise to be your heart when yours is shattered.
i promise to be yours.
always,
i promise.

she told me my writing is sad
too depressing to read
why don't i just write about happy things?

she said i write as though it's always raining outside
and i told her when it rains
it pours

and when the sun and rainbows are out
there is nothing left of my shattered soul to pour

until another rainstorm.