I thought I was ready
ready to move on
I am not.
I really want to move on
on to bigger and better things
but I'm not ready

At first I didn't think it would help, but look at me now. I am standing here, very much alive. Standing tall with my head held high. Feeling like I can reach the sky. Crawling up in a ball hoping to die, doesn't make you fly. Poetry helped save my life, all because I decided to try. I took the extra steps and elongated my stride.And look at me now; I am ready, I am ready to thrive.

The one who gave me a heated blanket
While switching it out every so often
Covering my wounds with caution

The one who gave me water
All concerned about me,
Like I was her daughter

The one who gave me slippers to keep
So I don't leave with naked feet
(and wouldn't take no as an answer)

Who's soft eyes held no accusation
Blinding those with which
My thoughts held in possession—
That'd say I ******* up once again

These people cared about me
A lot more than I did
Gave me a kindness that
I had never yet tasted
A loving memory between strangers
For the rest of my life, I'll never waste it

With the sincerest of wishes,
Bless all you nurses out there

She's going to make it
Lost a lot of blood...
****!
High alcohol level
Ten minutes away
She's okay, she's okay
Losing her fast
She's gonna make it!
————————————
My head is reeling
Dear god, the world is on it's back
Please,
Stop panicking— it's only blood
No, I don't want an IV
It's okay, I'm okay
Don't give me an IV
Don't touch me, I said no!
agh!


Fears digress to slurred vocabulary
Over and over
"Am I broke? Am I broke now?"

It's hard to talk about it to happy people
With pretty sounds of poetry
Or talk about it at all, really

'Cause how could you put in words
The science of "sad girl" warnings
Or that feeling of regret
That I woke up this morning

Honestly, I just wanted to feel nothing
In spite of this sick espirit

A disphoria so ingrained in the flesh,
Only death could set you free.
.

Those times—when the world is burning
I’ll light my cigarette on it
and watch it go

My beloved earth:

You built up walls
to keep others out,
or yourself in?
This garden has gone unseen
for long enough.
Lungs rich with soil,
riddled with roots,
They creep up your throat
and spill from your lips,
so every exhale is reminiscent
of sweet spring.
Just be mindful of each
breath and your speech,
There is beauty
in a mouth
full of roses,
but danger
in a tongue
made of thorns.