Ive taken your bullets
Your punches, your slaps
Your stings, your comments
The words behind my back

Ive taken the embarrassment
All your belittling lies
Ive taken your huffs, your puffs
Your eye rolls and sighs

Ive taken your pointed fingers
Brushed it off, held my tongue
You make mistakes and say "im human"
But go up the chain if i make one

How hypocritical, How conniving
How stupid you must be
To think I'll be your punching bag
I've got more worth than that in me

So if this is how I go out
With your target on my back
Then, please, take your best shot
Cuz im never coming back.

When I met the wise, old man
I asked him the questions
What am I doing now?
What is next?
What is holding me back?
How do I overcome?

What am I doing now?
He showed me fireworks
And fists raised
An envelopement
Strong laughter
A tightly wound cocoon
A smile of a lover
A comfortable chair.

What is next?
The sound of scribling
Paper becoming full
The turn of a page
A burst of tears
An overwhelming achievement

What is holding me back?
A wailing in the rain
A dark,
Lonely room
Closed eyes
Anxious heart
A Comfortable chair

How do I overcome?
Running
Sweating
Sacrificing
Sitting in a chair
Exhaustion

Then I ask the wise, old man
If I will be
A success
And he threw a stick
In the fire
Pointed to the sparks
And held my hand.

When I feel
Inadequate
I get the urge to
Cut
Like slicing my
Arm
Would make me
Worthy
Would make me
Enough
As if
Devouring
My flesh would
Prove
That I am as they
Say
I am
Not good
Enough
Not good
Enough.
No.
I'm
More
Than
Enough.

As the clock

              Tick-tocks


Opportunity

               Knocks.

The sound of a
Still-cast moon
Hovering
Silent
In the dwell-

The gentleness
Of piano keys
Rubbing the pads
Of your finger tips
In an empty,
Lonely room

The wind chime
In your voice
Tinking with laughter
And a smile
Conjuring pride
Telling tales
Of your daughter

The crinkle in your
Hands
Holding,
Protecting
My ignorant
Little heart
As time
Ticked on
And on
Like the beat
Of a steady drum.

How a
Broken heart
Is not a saying
But the sensation
Of falling
Like a splitting
Desperation and
Despair in
Your chest.
When a burning light
Dissipates into
Ash
And smoke.
Suffocating.

Being left alone
By loneliness itself
And missing what
It feels like
To feel whole.

To be in a world
Without you
Is something
I know well
But is what
I wish
I've never known.