when i can't sleep
when i can't rest
i think about all of the darkness in my head
how much sunshine does it take to chase away a tornado?

i think about my real friends
how they shine light in my life
and the tornado slows down

i think about my fake friends
how they hurt me
how i have given my all to forget
and the tornado picks up

i think about my future
college, vet school
it's a good dream, great life
just not mine
do i please everyone else or myself?
the tornado plucks me off the ground

i think about what i'm afraid to admit i want
i want to go pro
i want to spend my winters in wellington
my summers in michigan
but that's selfish
i'm pleasing myself but not everyone else
the tornado flings me against the wall

i think about how i'm not good enough
how i probably will never be good sufficient
that i will not be one to live my fantasy
i can't hurt everyone in my life like that

i think about why i don't want to hurt others
but i'm perfectly okay with destroying myself

i think that this is scary
and i think about how i run from my problems
and i think about how i should just turn
and run into the tornado

The green tea is hot
As my tongue touches
and licks
the surface.

The steam floats off with its flavor
and burns the tip
and I then put it down
to mind myself
of other things.

But the day is cold
With the trees bending uneasy
And the windows wailing
with their cries.

My feet are cold
As I sit crossed
holding them close
to my thighs.

But still nothing goes
on inside
But still nothing goes
on in my life.
The hot tea I pick up
as I settled it down
a few seconds ago.

“Oh its hot…”
I look outside.
Where did you go.

I'm sorry I'm so broken,
I'm sorry I pushed you away.

I'm sorry I took you for granted,
when all I really want
is just for you to stay