Britni Ann

Britni Ann Dec 2018

Haven’t called in a year
Haven’t sent a package
Or a letter
Why not Dad?
Where are you?
Why do you always have to leave?
It’s not what Dads do
Please come home soon.
Tomorrow’s my Birthday
I’m turning seven
You promised you’d be back by now
But your not,
You missed my 5th, 6th, and now 7th
That’s three years
I wish you could try to come home by my next birthday
I write and talk to you every day
I hope you know that
I hope you talk to me too
And I hope you’re still alive
And tell me that you are
I have to go to bed now
It's morning your time
I hope you have a good day
And every day I remind myself,
That maybe someday
Somehow you will come home.

I wrote this after my father left. I was 12.

#loss #abandonment #sad #healing

Britni Ann Dec 2018

The Sea In You

“You have the ocean in your eyes.” He whispered softly.
She smiled and shook her head.
“I see the calm drift of the sea, the violent, deadly raged of the ocean. And the longing to be drawn close to someone you can never have, but I see beauty the most. I want to sail forever in your ocean.”

#thesea #love #thewaythesealoves

Dec 2018

Day

questions of the heart

C a n
                y o u
                        l o v e
          m e
  when
I
can
not

?

#love

Dec 2018

Celestite

a new age

it ended
it’s over now
but what surprised me most of all is that i’m not even sad.
i’m happy it happened and i don’t regret a second of it.
i’ll miss what could’ve been, but i won’t miss what was.
it ended
but it’s only just begun.

Britni Ann Dec 2018

My Someone

I never thought that I would meet someone like you.
Someone so infuriating, frustrating, and annoying.
Someone that makes me want to pull out my hair and slam doors.
Someone that can make me cry with just one word.

I never thought I would meet someone like you.
Someone that rubs my back while I’m falling asleep.
Someone that literally sweeps me off my feet.
Someone that loves to run his fingers through my hair while I tell him about my day.
Someone who opens the doors that I slam just to make sure we don’t go to bed angry.
Someone who wipes my tears away when I told him about how I lost my best friend.

“You might have lost all of them,” he says to me one sad night. “But you will never lose me.”

#lovepoem #myone #loveofmylife

Dec 2018

Ally Ann

How to Be a Writer

A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
I wanted to say,
lock yourself in a room,
scream until you have
a poem and no voice.
Open your veins and bleed
until you know that your bones
are pure words and sorrow.
Act as if you slit your own throat
and all you can bleed
are your own regrets
and all of the darkness
you boxed up for inspiration.
Write your mom a letter,
tell her you're leaving
and you won't be back for awhile
Because being a writer is traveling
through all seven layers of Hell
and denying anything is wrong.
Forget loving yourself
when all you have is a pen and paper
fused to your wrist
and Jesus is tapping at your skull
saying turn back now.
Warn the neighbors that if they smell burning
It's just your soul
clawing at the front door trying to get in.
Learn how to be alone.
Learn how to lose everything you have
in order to feel release,
learn how to only feel deceased
from now on.
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
All I said was
don't

#poem #writer #writing #inspiration #poetry #words #life

Britni Ann Nov 2018

I don’t regret anything

I’m glad we met.
And honestly, I don’t regret the memories we made.
I don’t regret falling in love with you,
And loving you more than I could love myself.

I don’t regret falling out of love either.
I don’t regret learning to love myself more than I wanted to love you.

That’s a part of love is growing into and out of the things that make you into the person you are yesterday, the person you are today, and the person you are tomorrow.

I don’t regret anything.

Daddy, you are something I longed for, for so long. But I don’t long for you anymore.
I’ve accepted the fact that you just don’t care. And it’s okay.

#regret #love #selfcare