This too will sink I know
Like the others before
This too will go
Behind shut door.

Once a place of rejoice
Where I poured my heart
Leaving is now the only choice
And make a new start.

My work is my blood of toil
Come at a high cost
Digging deep into the soil
What I grew is all lost.

I leave this holiness with pain
Will miss all you gave
Leaving the circling dots to reign
And send old poems to grave.

You are a tremendous overthinker
that's for sure. Taking a person like
you on.. with all your chaos
is no small task.
  In order to do that,
I have to take care of myself..
in order to keep from being
pulled down.. or pulled into
your chaotic whirlwind.
  So I create parameters of protection
through my words sometimes
when we talk.

You are not an easy person to take on.

  There are few people in the world
that are even able to truly take on a person
like you, within any kind of depth.
  That is how chaotically traumatized
the inside of your whole beautiful
body is. And somehow you take it
personally when I try to bring
structure in,.  as though you're three
years old,
  and you take regular grown up talk
  as being some kind of threat.
  But.. you are fragmented  and ripped
to shreds on the inside  by those
who truly brought harm
instead of good when you were little.  
  From that place inside of you, a
anything feels like judgment.
Anything feels like it's trying to control you
or put things inside you.

I know that.. and I still love you

  Loving a person in your condition
requires a certain level of self protection.
It's like I have to tie a
special rope around myself when I
jump into your world..  so I can be
pulled back out.
  For me..
The structure of my own words are that rope.
  It is the only way I can love you deeply
and enter into your absolutely broken world
  Please try to understand..
even though it scares you..

Just how much I need that

  If you are able to do that,
then I think you might even be able
to actually love me.
I did not come to steal,
or control..
  .. or fix

I came to be there for you

within all of your broken chaos

When the grand kiddos were little
We’d dream, big eating Rainbow skittles

Illuminating adventures in their mind
Telling fantastical story, to Unwind

They had a room in Nana and Papa‘s home
It was an imaginary place to freely Rome

One year it was the Pirates of the Caribbean
A bunkbed ship top bunk for lookout see’n

large canvas sail and fishnet to the ceiling
Glow paint the night stars realistic feeling

The captains quarters maps for steering
A talking parrot for laughter cheering

Imagination is in the minoot details
Starfish, sharks barnacle on the side rails

Looking at the finished room created
Pirate ship, Sea foam walls, stars stated  

Three boys, chose pirate names
For nightly stories are pirate games

Parents  never cool Nana the exception
Mother of invention, honorable mention

Bubble bath ink octopuses perils at sea
Captain jack to the rescue them three

Sleepy time, tea on the Shanghai express
Sail north to dreamland pirates , PJs dress

The story began each pirate made it grand
Ship battles buried treasure in white sand

Imagination fizzled started to fade
An epic Story completed well played

Listen, while the cobwebs feel their head
Prayers said success they’re asleep in bed