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Tommy Johnson Apr 2014
The moment for reluctance has passed
The juncture of decision has come
To never know is to never ask
Let your knotted heart come undone

Flood my soul with your love
I'll become deluged and succumb
Attempt to quell this blazing sun

Allow your feelings to go unmasked
Watch your inhibitions run
In this chilled confession, bask
Proclaim your fearless affection

Flood my soul with your love
Soothing waves of ocean
In the crystal blue we are one

       -Tommy Johnson
Tommy Johnson Apr 2014
Isn't weird that while in the process of living, you're also in the process of dying?
That as soon you are gifted life you are already marked for death?

Reincarnation?
Heaven?
Hell?
Purgatory?
Another dimension?
Just a dream?
Or is this all on repeat?
Just another story being retold over and over
We all begin with life and end in death
But what we do with the time between the two certainties is what actually counts
Tommy Johnson Apr 2014
Raw candor is necessary for this one

If any of you readers met me, you would not enjoy my company
You females may find me mad, over-amorous and devoid of any set moral standard
The men might perceive me as an arrogant, disgraceful chaser of impairment
By the end of this that shall all be proven true

I am blessed with a ****** appetite that can never seem to be appeased
And you are all cursed for living in the same world as me, for you are all on the menu
Men
And women  
I'm not sorry
I want to touch you, lick you, **** you *******
And I will
If I have not already

I will love you
I will hate you
We can go for a drink or five
Have a smoke
Cigarette or joint?

Do not fight it
You are much too cautious
It's better to just go with it
Do not fret
We can go to the city
To a a restaurant
Dine and dash
We will rob a bank
Look at art
See a concert
Write a bestseller
Map out the ****** of one so deserving
Create a new belief, a new system of faith
All in one afternoon

But I'm warning you
Do not fall in love with me
Do not want me
Do not even look at me
I'm doing all this for I am bored and in need of a single-serving "friend"
I warn you
I only desire ***, excitement, experience and intoxication
Do not disappoint me
**** me well
And I will reciprocate
And every time you ****
And you ***
Whether with me or an other
Think of me because I live for and live in that feeling of complete satisfaction

There you go, a declaration of my personal itinerary
It is not decent
It is not humble
It is the truth
Unapologetic

I am Tommy Johnson, one of an entire race of flawed mortals lost in their own derangement
Tommy Johnson Apr 2014
He sure is a chip off the old block
Knock his block off
Knock it right out of the park
Into the china shop, breaking everything
Blame the bull

Your'e a man of few words
More power to you
Needless to say
Let’s talk turkey

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch
Just fly the coop
It’s for the birds
And there’s a fox in the hen house
Feast or famine

A fine kettle of fish
And a can of worms
On a dark and stormy night
But as luck would have it
A penny save is a penny earned
Play with fire, you’ll get burned

Give me a ball park figure
Go against all odds
Because I've got an ace in the hole
And another up my sleeve

She’s rolling over in her grave
You must have been rubbing her the wrong way
Time and time again
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back

I’m scared out of my wits and I’m at the end of them
Sweating the bullets used to shoot the breeze
Time is of the essence
And you’re going slower than molasses in January

You take all the leaps and bound
And always land on your feet
Into the lap of luxury
Making the best of a bad situation

I ordered a slice of humble pie
And all I got was a knuckle sandwich
With an apple everyday
And hefty doctor bills I had to pay

Life’s a *****
It’s a grind
It’s a game
It’s a gamble
Live and learn
Live and let live
Let the good times roll
But look before you leap
That’s the long and short of it

Every dog has its day
Its fifteen minutes of fame
Barking up the wrong tree
And chasing its tail
Tommy Johnson Apr 2014
The rumbling motorcycle pulled in
The Cowboy entered the luncheonette
And Doctor Boss was sitting there waiting
They licked their lips, shook hands and that was it
This is the Legend of The Cowboy and Doctor Boss
Two stones untouched by complacent moss
Together they made a deal
His satin suit and His Cuban heeled boots
This is how it began

Doctor Boss was a respected physician
Shaved, shampooed and conditioned
Wore a stethoscope, had tongue depressors in jars
The Doctor had a gold tooth and fancy cars
But he was crooked as the day was long
Had no regards for right and wrong
Just as long as he was making a buck
He had connections to the cartel down in Mexico
And they lined his pockets with rising dough

Back in 1955 he was peddling dope in med school
Made the junkies line up and the women drool
Until he was challenged to a switchblade duel
Got his right ring finger sliced off and throw into a pool
He turned around and killed that man
Slashed him in the face and punctured his gut
He packed his trunk and headed north and ran
Darted toward the Jersey Horizon
On the way he picked up gun and a phony medical license

You would think a ****** would weigh on a man’s conscience
But not the Doc his mind was on motel options
He got a room and went to a local hole in the wall
A smoky, run down biker bar
“Dewar’s and water” said a pretty little thing
Boss looked at her, downed his drink and suffered whiskey sting
“Hey there beautiful, what’s your name?” “Lillian” she said
“What’s yours?” “Well, Lillian that’s not important but I’ll tell you what is”
“I got a motel room all to myself and I need some company”

Paper thin walls and a moaning women
The mattress squeaks as the vacancy signs flashing
The next morning Lillian awoke
Just to see The Boss had hit the road
She got dressed and went on her way
The motel bill remained unpaid
She wished he would have stayed awhile
But he was miles away by then
And starting a new life
This was the origin of Doctor boss
Wayward bound and identity lost
How a boy became a man
From check ups to drug trafficking now
This is how it all began

Now The Cowboy thought life was a game
A wild child that wouldn’t be tamed
He lived his life against the grain
Behind his aviators was repressed pain
He never knew his dear old dad
And his mother, run over by a drunken cab
Broken home launching pad
The kid went mad and hopped on his bike
He began his quest to quench his thirst for an exciting life

He raced and robbed from Cali to Michigan
He broke every law from Dallas to Vermont and back again
Until the day when he wasn’t fast enough
They tackled him down and put him in cuffs
He was charged and sentenced to five years in Cook County
An extensive criminal record by the age of twenty
But as soon as he was behind bars he busted out before anyone knew
Off to continue his life of debauchery
Of freedom and existential ecstasy

He was an escaped convict with a bounty on his head
The warden of Cook County didn’t want him alive but dead
But The Cowboy went on his merry way, making deals and getting laid
Getting ******, kicking *** and taking names
He was just looking for a good time
He was searching for a new trail to ride
All he wanted to do was live
Do everything in the world there was to do
To him every day brought something new

On a faithful day, The Cowboy came to Hacketts
The city where Doctor Boss opened up his practice
The tired traveler went to go get drunk
Over in the corner of the bar he was slumped
The Doc strolled in and everyone paid their respects
But there was something The Cowboy didn’t get
“Why are they kissing the ring of this nine fingered quack?”
He pulled out a knife on The Doc and a bottle went smash!
Over the poor Cowboy’s head and he blacked out

“Now, son I know that’s not how you say hello”
“And you seem to be a nice young fellow”
“So how bout I cut you a break”
“And we’ll go over to my office and I’ll clean up these scrapes”
The Cowboy agreed and got to his feet
They walked to Boss’s office just down the street
And The Doc sewed up his head
“Say, boy where you from I never seen you around here”
“It doesn’t matter you three piece suite wearing queer”

Doctor Boss chucked then pushed The Cowboy down by the throat
Pulled out his gun ,“I can **** you now but I won’t”
“No, you’re gonna do me a favor you little ****”
The Cowboy couldn’t breathe but Boss wouldn’t quit
“I got a package that needs to go to Georgia”
“If you take it there , they’ll be four grand waiting here for ya”
Now how could The Cowboy resist such an adventure?
Not to mention the grip Doctor Boss had on his Adam’s apple
He let him go and began to cackle

“Now around here, I run things”
“I’m free to do as I please”
The Cowboy was amazed at this man, he was right
He owned a gun and  got involved in a bar fight
Could this man be in the mob?
“Boy, you can call me Doctor Boss”
“Well Doc, they call me The Cowboy”
“So tell me, where am I going?

Doc Boss loaded up The Cowboy’s bike
With Mexican white powdered dynamite
“Now that’s four kilos, you got there”
“You get the money and bring it back here”
“You got it Boss, I’ll be back by Tuesday night”
And off went The Cowboy out of sight
The Doc new he could trust him
He had that look in his eye the he did those years ago
The one when you yearn to search for the unknown

This was the origin of The Cowboy and Doctor Boss
They paid no attention to consequence or cost
They saw themselves in each other
Just trying to reach one height after another
Cowboy respected a man so free
And Boss saw his prodigy
Together they became filthy rich
They shook hands and that was it
Tommy Johnson Apr 2014
I thought they we're saying "trains"
When they were handing out brains
And I missed mine
Now I lost my train of thought
But I'm on the right track
That's for sure
Tommy Johnson Mar 2014
I’m lying in bed
******* on an electronic cigarette
After having a nice glass of absinthe
Which has left me with a warmth in my face

My father lied about “going down the shore to help Jimmy
Pal-Park install cabinets”
Instead he’s somewhere with I think Jimmy the Hook snorting seven hundred bucks of my dad’s retirement money up their noses

Coke

I’m not surprised
This happens every so often
Always has
For the past fifteen years of my life

He wouldn’t come home
My mom would freak out
He would answer the phone
Then he’d come home all ****** up, exhausted, strung out

Apologizing and begging us to take him back in
And we would


Mom would have me and my sister decide
We we’re ******* kids!
I was nine she was four
And my dad would be sobbing and sitting on the edge of his bed facing us with his inflamed nostrils
We couldn’t throw our dad away
So we’d let him back into our lives and allow ourselves to be hurt again

Not only did he betray our trust and our mom’s trust
But he used money we didn’t have to feed his addiction
We had to put a second mortgage on the house
My mom pushed to get promoted, knowing all the stress and hair ripping frustration that came with it
Even though she’s amazing at what she does, we all know she can’t handle the pressure
But she still carries on
My father is a hard worker
Worked all his life
But that mother ******* coke habit
******* it
******* him

When he went to rehab for twenty eight days
That’s when I tried *** for the first time
That’s when I cut myself for the first time
That’s when I knew I couldn’t trust anyone
That's when i tried to **** myself for the first time
Not even my own father

When we visited him
He looked red, puffy, eyes bulging, wrinkled and long haired
But he spoke of hopeful sobriety and God
What **** that was, he was back at again in a year
That’s when I stopped caring
I went into a reclusive state
I hated him
I hated every one
I hated myself

I began to take a good look at myself and my life
I distanced myself emotionally form my family
I couldn’t take it anymore, the wasted tears and wasted time
I became a mere guest in my own house
I only lived there

My mom always said she’d divorce him when I and my sister were done with college

She only stayed for the money
I think he stayed for the roof, the food and the medical benefits my mom got

And I don’t get it
My dad isn’t well
He’s diabetic
He’s got blood pressure problems
He’s got arthritis
He’s got bad knees
He’s got psychological issus
Rage
Mother issues
He’s a workaholic
He had ******* cancer!

Yet, he still continues to put ******* into his body
Completely disregarding his health, he’s family and his own life and dignity

I hate him
My mom hates him
My sister hates him

I promise, all of you, my family, my life and whatever God or spirit created us all and keeps us here on this strange trip we call life
I will never, ever, ever become my father
I will never forsake those I love for an idiotic, immature addiction

We tried to help him
We did what we could
And still do
I just don’t know anymore

I really don’t
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