Speech robbed
Atrocities beyond understanding
****** you
pitiful fool
for digging your own pitfall
but alas
Only God plays fates hand
the ultimate judge on conscience and compassion
human nature traded in
for the devils branded mask
messengers of demons
eternal flames await
imbeciles wasting life before it starts
just to feed the darkness
residing within
stand before the judge
though no name is without sin
the difference lies
in the ability to feel guilt
not even the fires of hell
can burn the deeds on your hands
innocent blood
you ******* monster

Follow the rabbit hole into a land of red
The white rabbit takes the lead
As you fall down the abyss
Can you see yourself Alice?

Alice
Are you proud of what you've done
Inhaling colourful smoke for fun
Are you happy with what has become?
Are you happy with what you have done?

Tick-tok
***-for-tat
The hatters trail
Stained red
What once was baby blue
Fades into grey
Splattered scarlet

Alice are you satisfied yet?
As Mad hatter hat sits on you head
And cheshire cowers
Too scared to aproach
Alice have you had enough yet?

Piercing echoes
And flying red
Stains what once was sun kissed hair
With a lick of the tongue
Copper taste
The heart becomes her mark

Alice
Are you proud of what you've done
Running wonderland done one by one
As the hooka smoke and mushrooms
Gotten through
Does the caterpillar make a good throne?

How ironic the heart
Is what you hate
Yet its mark marrs you face
Alice, not Alice, queen

Cloudy minds
and quick tongue
sever ties
in an instant

and in the heat
of rage
is love and forgiveness forgotten

Rage is a storm
wait for it to pass
then will you be able
to see clear skies

Come one come all to the twenties again!
Where plagues abound and fears resound
but with few on the mend
of course  discounting those who shun saying scam
and would much rather the poor proletariat slave away
like an automaton
and even those are prone to fraying
To those poor souls left to suffer for corporations care
and those necasssry deaths as eugenics rears again

Come thee to the future! The hopes of many-body dashed
and trampled beneath powers unweilding unfeeling
of filled morgues and overworked doctors and nurses and workers
and children fearing for the safety of their parents escaping to virtual reality
and piles of homework forgotten along with the assignments due dates.
And yet only a few stops away
communities denied aid
and those in the towers build bridges with the bodies deemed unneeded

Observe ye the Biblical event predicted in the sacred texts
foretold of hiding inside homes both for fear and to flatten the curve
and mounting anxiety anger frustration nations scrambling unprepared

come one come all
all ye behold
the twenties are back and history makes yet another round.

Bound and shackled
restrained by rules
tormented for a solid answer
when reallY

The true art is
a free spirit
in which rhyme and rhythm
Must not be confounded
To the closed in walls of a classroom.

eyes
mouth
lips
smile
not a thing
out of place

hair
laugh
hands
and fingers

feet and toes
right up to your noes

laughs
jeers
pointing and laughing
peers breaking down
the masterpiece

arms reaching
grabbing
wanting to break
beauty

beauty that outranks them
that shines so brightly
shoved behind
tears
and baggy clothes

you are beautiful
from your eyes to your nose
down to your toes

your ears and lips
even your hips

people want to break
what they can't be
but beauty my dear
is what you will forever be

Steam,vapour,power,life
opens up a mechanical eye
springing to life
curious
scared

maniacal laughter
thinking
they have over come
life and death
their creation huddled in a corner
terrified of what there fate will be

Hiding with the one
he longs to be with
knowing she is engaged to another
songs his only way
to communicate

though she is flesh
and he a beast
disfigured and hideous
still she loves

arms grasp
peeling off
outer layers
fall like a sheet

behind it
lies
a soul who's finally free

The innocence of a child
is a wonder
that must be treasured
for only though a childs eyes
can the magic of the world be revealed

With friends broad smile
Happy thoughts courage
Without
Hiding on the stairs
Wishing to be invisible

Tick tok goes the clock
Ticking that will never stop
Tick tok
Goes the hand
Where willl the second arm land
Tick tok goes the clock
Round and round without end
Tick tok goes the clock
When will the ticking stop
Tick tok stops the clock
Ooops, theres no one left

Everywhere mocking
Their laughter forever ringing
They think were just sport for them to watch
we're not human to them

Merely a source of entertainment to them
A mindless puppet without a soul
Always pulling the strings of those they look down uopn

Controlling, manipulating, killing our souls
Cruelty seen as a sick form of pleasure
Our cries and pleads music

Clowns all around you
Drowning out your senses
Their only purpose is to remind you
That you are lower then ****'

Clowns humiliating us as though they know us
Thinking we'll forever be their dolls
Clinging tightly onto our strings for fear of the day it snaps
Where we'll be freed
and become who we once were

You only live
so I keep my life?
why do you speak
so much of
giving your life
in exchange for mine?

As fires blaze
in the sanctity of our room
cards lay out
in a gamble

I cannot allow you
To suffer again
To be toyed with or worse
Ripped and burned

The both of us
We'll be filled with love
When the executioner comes
To collect us

Appply , rinse, red runs down
Copper still sits on the tongue
Repeat watch
As it swirls down
Resisting to poke where copper wells
Still it sits
Though less with ice
The odd taste of copper

False facade hidden
A gentlemanly act houses
Killer instinct

It teases
Luring its prey
Little do they know
Behind the polished shoes and shined shoes
Lies a mastermind
Clever in lies
Perfect in deception

Not even a scream
Can be uttered
Before his job is done

Darling you’ve waited too long
Darling you’ve fell
For a mystery man

Charmed and enchanted you’d never know
The malicious intentions
Hidden behind amused iris’

Swoon into his hold
Vulnerable
Letting him strike

You scream

And now darling
You’re donned in red
Sorry sweetie looks like you’re dead

You never listened
To warnings or concerns
All because you wanted

Adventure
Rush
Thrill

All because
You wanted
A dangerous man

And darling now
You’re six feet under

Because you lusted for a dangerous man.

Most fear death
For it is unknown
What happens to the soul when the body decays
Death is not frightening
It is a destination that determines whether we are worthy of eternal life
Or if our souls are better of burned due to how much they've been soiled

Hey,
Ya'mind
Just wiring right?

Pulling the strings a puppet helplessy dances
it's heart dried and shrivled up
the appleaing sparkle in its eye long gone

expecting nothing but perfection, like a  antique doll
brung out only for show
then forced back into confinement

Heart not acknowledged
brain dead
numbness, the only sensation
that is not yet gone

Stuck living in a world
where  children
are just mere dolls

Watching from a distant crowd
tears streaming down
lies forced
onto an innocent soul
silenced
by invisible barriers
voice stolen

demons and monsters lurk in the night
words piercing the heart
cackles from the corners of the mind
as repeatedly the lies
are reflected
in the dark atmosphere

pills
therapy
'support groups'

All don't know what help is

My hear his crying in anger
desperately reaching out through a virtual screen
to rip down the lies
and stories etched
in bruises and cuts

for every truth hidden in false words
ever day living in fear
monsters disguised as men
and men treated as monster

fading, fading

bruises are fading

fading, fading

away the lies
fading, fading

who

deserves this?

fading fading

fade into my world

where all lies are faded out

fade into me

and my outstretched arms

Little sister's how I wish
that I could get a chance to to kiss her
on the top of he head before tucking her in bed

Little sister's how are you?
are you wondering how I am too?
is your family being nice to you?
Is there something you need me to do?

Little sister's although you and I
are separated we can still try
To stay together as a family
not by blood but but bond.

Three times in the hospital
sitting near the window
ds screen illuminating
distraction
years going by
and the rising anxiety
that very soon the end
feeling too grown
at the same too young
being a mom
and a grand-daughter
a sister and a housekeeper
riding in an ambulance 10am
playing translator
stupid scale pain system
empty stomach
awkwardly standing aside
she's all that's left
others are working
stuck at home afraid to go out
scheduled medications glued to memory
and panic when forgotten
and still too childish
but no longer a child
pre-mourning pushed aside
cause shes still here
still guilt
worry
knawing
shut up
shes still here
shes still here
shes still here

Whispering breeze
rustling through the trees
a silent song
calming these

children so tense
with worry and anger
soon fade to laughing
smiling and laughter

smiling upon them
the afternoon sun
call's it's children
back to their roots.

Dancing gracefully
In the mantel
Smoldering wood
Gives rise to dancers

Wraiths

Writhing and twisting
Steps crackling
And beauty fades
To ashes on the ground.

Stuck in fantasy
cursed
broken
sad little boy
alone

smothered by conformity
forced to be
what he is not

be this
Don;t be that
Don't be you

No
no
refusal
no

break
no
break!
NO!
BREAK!
NO!
­
just a fool
always the fool
not going
to stay
chooses to stay
lost in yourself

See that girl holding a knife
ther life was nothing but turmoil and strife
slowly she lets go of one last breath
while a trail of blood leads her to her death

the laughing sneers, the cruel grins
suddenly stop when they see her gone
those who wished for her death
now mourn over her rose bed

the inoccent smile no longer in place
replaced with a tortured face
pained iris's refelfect
you were responsible for her death

Gotta laugh
at how things spin
and when they say
outcasts never win

but groups and cliches
are still a thing
still human
insecurities hidden within

Jocks and nerds
cheerleaders, readers
still inside
asking
"Please love me"
"Please accept me"

how things have seemed to turn
How outcasts are still outcasts
but things previously applied to outcasts
now mainstream?

An outcast is never truly outcast
for they outweigh those
said to be cool and popular
still

no matter how big the group
outcasts always seen as that
minority of preps will soon see
that the true outcasts
are those

hiding behind the validation
of others
and their crew

You're as gentle as a lover
your patience knows no bounds
so tender is your touch as you place us in the ground
your hands tirelessly work
your eyes rarely blink
Late conversations keep you from catching a wink
your soundless voice soothes us
you are never in a rush
when you start your work
we bid each other hush
you rest our weary bones
and release us from this home
you reassure us we won't be buried alone
Dear precious grave digger
though we wish to flee
By your side is where we belong
we remain with thee

On the bedside she see's
the bottle responsible
for keeping her big brother
the way he was before

the 'happy bottle' she named it
and hoped that eventually
big brother will no longer need it
and they could really live happily

But big brother said
he hates the happy bottle
and that when he uses it
it hurts

she grew to hate the happy bottle
because she realized
in her brothers eyes
he was only numbed

Taking the happy bottle
she breaks it
hoping to give her big brother
his happiness back

Whats we love turns to hate
This is the human races fate
For why we love we lock away
Forbid it from seeing night and day
And when our love rebels and screams
We pretend to be asleep and dream
And weapons they inspire us
To create
To destroy rides
On our loves hate

The problems I hear
how I long to help
but sadly the only way I can console her
are though words and virtual hugs
sent over the web in a series of 0s and 1s

I want to give her
the physical comfort I know she deserves
but we are separated by the vast expanse of land and ocean
between her home and mine

It's been some years now
And still
You got room to grow
Got a rythm and your own beat
Slowly starting to navigate through
The turbulant tussles and winding winds
Whipping everything about
Deep breath
Calm now
The journeys just begun

Hiding behind angry tears
refusing to let out my fears
the pressure of being one with the crowd
makes me want to cry out loud

Anger is now my facade
To help me get though the day
Hiding insecurities
with fantasies of violent tendancies

How I wish to wring out their necks
and show them what a wreck
they have made out of me
but soon the feeling begins to flee

hiding behind a mask as an innocent girl
this disguise makes me want to hurl
when will you learn to look past and see
the girl underneath that's the real me.

Peeking through the windows of the train car
rucksack balanced on shoulders
Idly contemplating where to next
a vagabond can land for quick respites
scanning surroundings inhales of clouds
and exhales of shadows surrounding memories
and treasure chests wrapped tightly in cloth
buried under a tree
the key
drifting down the river
waiting nestled between stones
and uncapped inkwell and blank page
rapid rivers reaching
but unable to send them back
trying to pin down and address
on open roads and sketchy motels
the fine makes feet continue to run
continue to walk
with few stops
dizzying hourglasses
and hands chime grandfather clocks
left behind with scarlet trails
here to chase but them to leave
home

I hate when you cry
I love when you smile
Stop pinching me
don't you dare give one
what are you doing?
Are you stupid?
Let me sleep ******
no
I hate
I love
Anger
love
what?
I hate everything you do
I love hating what you do
I hate loving this feeling/
I love hating this way
what?
Just breath
no
choke me please
what?
I hate you
I don't need you
I want to love
no I hate
what?

always alert
never at ease
not knowing when awareness
became paranoia

When did the confusion start?
The inner battle between
heart and mind

as age comes the balance tilts
the childlike logic
the simplicity
the assurance of knowing who you are

She talks
and asks
why
I cannot speak

She drags me everywhere
and has a grand time
while I am forced
to live in a mechanical body
she crafted to me

Radio waves
are my only means
and one sentence repeats
in my limited vocal ability

I pray for Elysium
and the soft grace and rest
still she drags me
I'm nothing but a doll

spirits take me
from this prison
why must I be forced
to live a life already full

Keepers eyes
Shrouded in
Disguise
Sorrow for
Soul lost

The endless question
forever pondering
what it truly means to love

it makes and breaks
heals and steals
a gift to be treasured
and a scar when its taken

maybe because I'm so young
love still boggles my mind
but all I really care for now
is to hold tightly to this love of mine

Heavy eyelids
Flutter and stutter
Struggling to remain
In a state of consciousness

But how can one resist
The tempting silence
As it beckons
To pillows and blanket fortresses

Where stuffed animals of youth await
And remind
Take care
Take care
Go to sleep precious darling

Between snore
A soft melody
Makes you forget
Mother not home

And though I may
Be annoyed at my task
To hear those snores
Mixed with tinkling chimes
Makes rewinding the key
Repeatedly
Worth it.

At twelve it was a small group
Easy to keep an eye on
And most were capable of thinking for themselves
All I really had to do was comfort them when they cried
Break up fights.
Little plauground stuff
At fifteen there were children
None actually ours
But I loved them the same
And treated them like the others
At sixteen two sisters
Two pairs of them actually
The younger pair, difficult, but loveable
The elder pair easier
Playing with my brother
While the younger was laughing
As father jokingly called her
Ms."waaaa"
At sixteen they came back
Now thee was four
The baby who used to cry
When someone other then auntie and I held her was all grown up
Running around, talking
Giving me a headache
Still I love them all the same
At seventeen one of four
Leaves in maybe a dream haze
Worrying mother, auntie and myself
Wondering if still he missed those who didn't want him.
At seventeen I'm jokingly called mom
With a"daughter" starting college
Another in high school
But both uncertain
At seventeen
Scolding when needed
But still trying to understand
Wanting both sides
Because I know what its like
I'm still young enough to know
What its like to be ignored by elders
And at seventeen
Looking at all my kids
Ever increasing
Ever being a thorn in my side
And still these kids
Are still mine
So long as they see me
As someone who protects
Once under my care
They are my kids.

Most think
Those of us that are naive
Will be hurt when we learn the true workings of the world

We simply choose
To block out this pain
And anguish surrounding us

Although the screams and cries are still heard
As we see innocence torn away
We silently pray our naivety will stay

Girl and boys
making so much noise
that the idea of silence
is simply that.

The worde expressed are not my own
For never is it me alone
That determines what
Emotions make their way into this blank
canvas that can only hold
So much in simole words alone
Many find it misleading
When my works have an undertone of pleading
Pleading that is not my own
Remember this is never me alone
That jots down thought on a digital page
As I painfully hold back the rage
The rage built at suffering and loss
The pleasure that comes from this cost
My feelings never make their way
Across this blank page for they lay
With those who are not near my home
For a family that does not belong to my own
For sisters that I hold so dear
And for sisters whos cries I hate to hear
Their tear striken faces my fear
For though I want to help I am stuck here
The only comfort I can give
Is across this blank page
Where words must take the place of actions
And bridge the gap between us

Brain shut up
Horomones calm down
Tears of frusteration
Don't you dare fall

Lungs breath
Bodu cool down
This isn't even
The worse of it yet

This is our gamble
these cards on the table
neither of us
will be a sacrifice

your life
for mine
what kind of twisted fate
lays waste
to an innocent being
who was trapped in
a mechanical hell

As gunfire
and bonfires
chaos explodes

take my hand
and in our execution
let's both go
to Elysium.

Head down, mouth shut
told not to start up
and stir the *** the kettle cool
Don't act up like a fool

when atrocities come to stay
and still no words permitted to say
then actions come to overthrow
the blindfolded regulating what to know

And in the peace when violence reigns
and monsters shed their human remains
underneath our bubbling skin
we attack all of their sin

For when in the temple merchants set
our dear Lord Jesus quite upset
and raged against with braided whip
a love so strong it can't be chipped

fight then with songs, hymn sand a holy fire
and expose the devils inner desire
laid not in the poor, the oppressed, the downtrodden
but those who feast and harvest the souls of the forgotten

There is risk and words
in arguments
against what is commonly
perceived as true

try and bring up politics
and they'll want to make
an enemy of you

to quiet you
and drown you and noise
block out facts
with fake new reports

and suspicion becomes
what is seen as true
no longer are
facts and logic friend

underneath
at all
fear and no understanding
risk to say what is true

risk what you say
risk what you do
careful cause they'll make
an enemy of you

I hate giving pity
It never solved anything
Pity is another word
For looking down upon someone

You do not need pity
Nor do you need to heed
The expactations of society

Though the need to be accepted
Eats away at you
You didn't have to look far

A shadow is what you need
Someone who will be with you
And comfort you
Whenever life gets hard

A shadow shows no pity
Nor will it ever reject someone
A shadow happily follows
And is guarenteed to be there

Although it is hard
To be a perfect shadow
Can this person
In front of you
Be a shadow for you?

I usually hate
putting the word I
when writing
because
I don't like writing for me

but on few occasions
when inspired by music
frustration
and tears
and Melanie Martinez blasting in the back

I don't care
if my heart is too big
My eyes
I have no control over
and I'm tired
of being ridiculed
because of my tears

I show my families lies
and try to make them see
That crybaby
is not longer part of me

but in my room
on some time late in night
the faucet in my eyes from melanies song

can't take anymore.

And so I cry
So what if I'm a crybaby?

Never will
his memory die
for he lives
in song and art

floating
his spirit blends
with his beloved sky
filled in a sea
of stars

and in the stars
at last he has become
part of the space
he loved

The legend watches
now a constellation
and smiles upon
the work he has inspired