Watching from a distant crowd
tears streaming down
lies forced
onto an innocent soul
silenced
by invisible barriers
voice stolen

demons and monsters lurk in the night
words piercing the heart
cackles from the corners of the mind
as repeatedly the lies
are reflected
in the dark atmosphere

pills
therapy
'support groups'

All don't know what help is

My hear his crying in anger
desperately reaching out through a virtual screen
to rip down the lies
and stories etched
in bruises and cuts

for every truth hidden in false words
ever day living in fear
monsters disguised as men
and men treated as monster

fading, fading

bruises are fading

fading, fading

away the lies
fading, fading

who

deserves this?

fading fading

fade into my world

where all lies are faded out

fade into me

and my outstretched arms

Bound and shackled
restrained by rules
tormented for a solid answer
when reallY

The true art is
a free spirit
in which rhyme and rhythm
Must not be confounded
To the closed in walls of a classroom.

I hate when you cry
I love when you smile
Stop pinching me
don't you dare give one
what are you doing?
Are you stupid?
Let me sleep ******
no
I hate
I love
Anger
love
what?
I hate everything you do
I love hating what you do
I hate loving this feeling/
I love hating this way
what?
Just breath
no
choke me please
what?
I hate you
I don't need you
I want to love
no I hate
what?

This is our gamble
these cards on the table
neither of us
will be a sacrifice

your life
for mine
what kind of twisted fate
lays waste
to an innocent being
who was trapped in
a mechanical hell

As gunfire
and bonfires
chaos explodes

take my hand
and in our execution
let's both go
to Elysium.

She talks
and asks
why
I cannot speak

She drags me everywhere
and has a grand time
while I am forced
to live in a mechanical body
she crafted to me

Radio waves
are my only means
and one sentence repeats
in my limited vocal ability

I pray for Elysium
and the soft grace and rest
still she drags me
I'm nothing but a doll

spirits take me
from this prison
why must I be forced
to live a life already full

You only live
so I keep my life?
why do you speak
so much of
giving your life
in exchange for mine?

As fires blaze
in the sanctity of our room
cards lay out
in a gamble

I cannot allow you
To suffer again
To be toyed with or worse
Ripped and burned

The both of us
We'll be filled with love
When the executioner comes
To collect us

I usually hate
putting the word I
when writing
because
I don't like writing for me

but on few occasions
when inspired by music
frustration
and tears
and Melanie Martinez blasting in the back

I don't care
if my heart is too big
My eyes
I have no control over
and I'm tired
of being ridiculed
because of my tears

I show my families lies
and try to make them see
That crybaby
is not longer part of me

but in my room
on some time late in night
the faucet in my eyes from melanies song

can't take anymore.

And so I cry
So what if I'm a crybaby?

Anger, sadness, hate
Rage at the world
When things don't go your way

Dyed hair and piercings
Multicoloured eyes
How easy it is
To make an enemy of he world

Stop.....

What reason is there behind that rage?
Why have you built in your heart a cage?
Has somehing thought to apply to the depressed
Become the newest fashion craze?

Does teen mean emo?
Goth?
When did the word teen mean self hating poems written in the dark

Teen.....

What does teen really mean
If today it means following the craziest fashion craze
If it means pretending or imagining issues so I can complain like everyone else.

I don't want to be a teen.

I just want to be me

Steam,vapour,power,life
opens up a mechanical eye
springing to life
curious
scared

maniacal laughter
thinking
they have over come
life and death
their creation huddled in a corner
terrified of what there fate will be

Hiding with the one
he longs to be with
knowing she is engaged to another
songs his only way
to communicate

though she is flesh
and he a beast
disfigured and hideous
still she loves

arms grasp
peeling off
outer layers
fall like a sheet

behind it
lies
a soul who's finally free

On the bedside she see's
the bottle responsible
for keeping her big brother
the way he was before

the 'happy bottle' she named it
and hoped that eventually
big brother will no longer need it
and they could really live happily

But big brother said
he hates the happy bottle
and that when he uses it
it hurts

she grew to hate the happy bottle
because she realized
in her brothers eyes
he was only numbed

Taking the happy bottle
she breaks it
hoping to give her big brother
his happiness back

we are young
we're not quite old
not quite wise
but still our eyes
ponder away
and contemplate
things said that day.

reflections stare back
or shadows, whatever
sitting in a room
with an illuminated screen

some days, it feels the word is against us
other days, we love life
blame raging teenager hormones

for this ridiculous thoughts.

Just stupid angsty teen thoughts.

Instead of disguising my undying worry
in Rhymes and complex words that will most likely
have your thought in even more of a flurry
I know the over used cliche"Things will get better"
can only go so far from here
but uncle, I don't want you to know
The fear I hold in the words I know
you have spoken to mother while we were gone
Now I'm rambling on trying to make sense
of my thoughts swirling together
like sewage inside of a street gutter
excruciating pain I can not feel
but uncle, I want to help you heal
uncle please don't make me cry
with thoughts of you looking up to sky
and asking. "heaven,' heaven why?"
whilst writing this I get teary eyed
and as much as I want to shout to sky
and demand, "Why, once again why?"
But I know that our basic human perception
can't understand the vastness of the paths in life
and that even through all the toil and strife
there is hope in front of you
in front of me
and your family
so whenever you all feel teary eyed
know that right beside you I will cry
a card stand by your bedside
flowers blooming from a heart
know that in that small part
my words are reduced to nothing but sound
soaring and bouncing all around
all sense of his poem making sense vanishes
but still I know that the cliche
things will get better  won't help in anyway
and when you turn up your eyes to heaven
and ask, ,"why why me, why now?"
and know that here I sit teary eyed
holding sobs at bay as I write this
poem to you
even if you can't find truth
in these words your niece wrote while picturing your pain
and wondering what are you thinking, thinking you could gain
some peace for the price of your life
and refusing to go through the strife
so as I read this to your daughter
since I don't wish to offend you, I'm sorry if I do
But remember uncle, the tears you shed
I cry to, but my tears are for you.....

The silent one
quietly mourns
And wishes that he was never born

The pressure he feels throughout he day
the feel of his soul's decay
never a whisper wil you hear
nobody knows thats he's  here

Wishing to find a sliver of light
to come and save him from his plight
the silent one silently mourns
and curses the day that he was born.

Hiding behind angry tears
refusing to let out my fears
the pressure of being one with the crowd
makes me want to cry out loud

Anger is now my facade
To help me get though the day
Hiding insecurities
with fantasies of violent tendancies

How I wish to wring out their necks
and show them what a wreck
they have made out of me
but soon the feeling begins to flee

hiding behind a mask as an innocent girl
this disguise makes me want to hurl
when will you learn to look past and see
the girl underneath that's the real me.

Each childs tale
Has much to tell
Of how they got here
And why

And surrogate mothers
And fathers too
Look at the damage
And wonder why

And in the eyes
Of these children
They too
Ask themselves why

And in the eyes
Where sociey lies
Surrogate children
And parents wonder why

despised for being different
for not going with the norm
he can't change his sexuality

He knows it's a sin, that he shouldn't have been born
why couldn't he grow up
like the norm?

but what happens when the tables turn
when minority is the norm
when men and woman is seen as a sin

She longs for the hug of a man
but it is seen as a sin
it is not the norm
for a woman to be with a man

now look at yourself when the tables turn
when the gays are laughing at you
think about the consequences of your words
think about when the tables turn

Most think
Those of us that are naive
Will be hurt when we learn the true workings of the world

We simply choose
To block out this pain
And anguish surrounding us

Although the screams and cries are still heard
As we see innocence torn away
We silently pray our naivety will stay

Pulling the strings a puppet helplessy dances
it's heart dried and shrivled up
the appleaing sparkle in its eye long gone

expecting nothing but perfection, like a  antique doll
brung out only for show
then forced back into confinement

Heart not acknowledged
brain dead
numbness, the only sensation
that is not yet gone

Stuck living in a world
where  children
are just mere dolls

Brain shut up
Horomones calm down
Tears of frusteration
Don't you dare fall

Lungs breath
Bodu cool down
This isn't even
The worse of it yet

Most fear death
For it is unknown
What happens to the soul when the body decays
Death is not frightening
It is a destination that determines whether we are worthy of eternal life
Or if our souls are better of burned due to how much they've been soiled

Everywhere mocking
Their laughter forever ringing
They think were just sport for them to watch
we're not human to them

Merely a source of entertainment to them
A mindless puppet without a soul
Always pulling the strings of those they look down uopn

Controlling, manipulating, killing our souls
Cruelty seen as a sick form of pleasure
Our cries and pleads music

Clowns all around you
Drowning out your senses
Their only purpose is to remind you
That you are lower then ****'

Clowns humiliating us as though they know us
Thinking we'll forever be their dolls
Clinging tightly onto our strings for fear of the day it snaps
Where we'll be freed
and become who we once were

Cloudy minds
and quick tongue
sever ties
in an instant

and in the heat
of rage
is love and forgiveness forgotten

Rage is a storm
wait for it to pass
then will you be able
to see clear skies

Never will
his memory die
for he lives
in song and art

floating
his spirit blends
with his beloved sky
filled in a sea
of stars

and in the stars
at last he has become
part of the space
he loved

The legend watches
now a constellation
and smiles upon
the work he has inspired

always alert
never at ease
not knowing when awareness
became paranoia

When did the confusion start?
The inner battle between
heart and mind

as age comes the balance tilts
the childlike logic
the simplicity
the assurance of knowing who you are

Little sister's how I wish
that I could get a chance to to kiss her
on the top of he head before tucking her in bed

Little sister's how are you?
are you wondering how I am too?
is your family being nice to you?
Is there something you need me to do?

Little sister's although you and I
are separated we can still try
To stay together as a family
not by blood but but bond.

Whispering breeze
rustling through the trees
a silent song
calming these

children so tense
with worry and anger
soon fade to laughing
smiling and laughter

smiling upon them
the afternoon sun
call's it's children
back to their roots.

All focus is on the big picture
The grand scheme of things controlled us
To leave our mark on the world

Many try through big actions but their actions eventually fade in the wind
The mighty always fall when their time comes but......

The little things are carried in the breeze which travels throughout the ages where old memories rise from the dust floating in the wind

words hurt,
they break and shatter lives
they destroy ones self-esteem

they are the most powerful weapon.
and the most abused
for words are meant to be uplifting

though in our cruel world today
we just shoot down those
that could've been our brothers and sisters

See that girl holding a knife
ther life was nothing but turmoil and strife
slowly she lets go of one last breath
while a trail of blood leads her to her death

the laughing sneers, the cruel grins
suddenly stop when they see her gone
those who wished for her death
now mourn over her rose bed

the inoccent smile no longer in place
replaced with a tortured face
pained iris's refelfect
you were responsible for her death

Tick tok goes the clock
Ticking that will never stop
Tick tok
Goes the hand
Where willl the second arm land
Tick tok goes the clock
Round and round without end
Tick tok goes the clock
When will the ticking stop
Tick tok stops the clock
Ooops, theres no one left

The innocence of a child
is a wonder
that must be treasured
for only though a childs eyes
can the magic of the world be revealed

words
strings of letters accompanied
by controlled growls
that we have somehow made intelligible

words that want want
to soothe fears and worry  
words that heal
what has been broken
words that lift
burdens of the heart
that heal poisoned scars left
by itself

actions
gestures, good and bad
actions that want to comfort
that want to hold
actions that want
to make you feel secure
actions that stitch and glue
patiently together
what has shattered and broken

words mix with actions
and actions with words
actions against actions
and words against words

a jumble of words and actions
on your behalf
words fighting actions
actions fighting words

all on your behalf

words with actions
actions with worlds

all working

on your behalf

You have feelings
you have emotions
you are not a puppet
you are not a thing
you are not an object
you are loved

you are you're own person
you are love
you aren't dumb
stupid
you're not pathetic

you're not indestructible
you have doubts
hate
sorrow
guilt

you have people
you are not a doll
you don't run on batteries
but on hugs
kisses
kind words
and warmth

you are not cold
you are not a freak
you are you
and
I
will
forever
Love
you.

Follow the rabbit hole into a land of red
The white rabbit takes the lead
As you fall down the abyss
Can you see yourself Alice?

Alice
Are you proud of what you've done
Inhaling colourful smoke for fun
Are you happy with what has become?
Are you happy with what you have done?

Tick-tok
***-for-tat
The hatters trail
Stained red
What once was baby blue
Fades into grey
Splattered scarlet

Alice are you satisfied yet?
As Mad hatter hat sits on you head
And cheshire cowers
Too scared to aproach
Alice have you had enough yet?

Piercing echoes
And flying red
Stains what once was sun kissed hair
With a lick of the tongue
Copper taste
The heart becomes her mark

Alice
Are you proud of what you've done
Running wonderland done one by one
As the hooka smoke and mushrooms
Gotten through
Does the caterpillar make a good throne?

How ironic the heart
Is what you hate
Yet its mark marrs you face
Alice, not Alice, queen

The worde expressed are not my own
For never is it me alone
That determines what
Emotions make their way into this blank
canvas that can only hold
So much in simole words alone
Many find it misleading
When my works have an undertone of pleading
Pleading that is not my own
Remember this is never me alone
That jots down thought on a digital page
As I painfully hold back the rage
The rage built at suffering and loss
The pleasure that comes from this cost
My feelings never make their way
Across this blank page for they lay
With those who are not near my home
For a family that does not belong to my own
For sisters that I hold so dear
And for sisters whos cries I hate to hear
Their tear striken faces my fear
For though I want to help I am stuck here
The only comfort I can give
Is across this blank page
Where words must take the place of actions
And bridge the gap between us

The endless question
forever pondering
what it truly means to love

it makes and breaks
heals and steals
a gift to be treasured
and a scar when its taken

maybe because I'm so young
love still boggles my mind
but all I really care for now
is to hold tightly to this love of mine

The problems I hear
how I long to help
but sadly the only way I can console her
are though words and virtual hugs
sent over the web in a series of 0s and 1s

I want to give her
the physical comfort I know she deserves
but we are separated by the vast expanse of land and ocean
between her home and mine

There is risk and words
in arguments
against what is commonly
perceived as true

try and bring up politics
and they'll want to make
an enemy of you

to quiet you
and drown you and noise
block out facts
with fake new reports

and suspicion becomes
what is seen as true
no longer are
facts and logic friend

underneath
at all
fear and no understanding
risk to say what is true

risk what you say
risk what you do
careful cause they'll make
an enemy of you

A simple request
For permission
To sing a song
Not knowing it was not theirs
Quick to bite
But stupid lag
Won't let the explanation through
So blocking its seems
Is the only way
To stop this stupid anger and annoyance

The cliches of life
overshadowing
the true strife it takes
to survive in a broken world
balanced on a frail facade
that will crack once man destroys itself

Girl and boys
making so much noise
that the idea of silence
is simply that.

Gotta laugh
at how things spin
and when they say
outcasts never win

but groups and cliches
are still a thing
still human
insecurities hidden within

Jocks and nerds
cheerleaders, readers
still inside
asking
"Please love me"
"Please accept me"

how things have seemed to turn
How outcasts are still outcasts
but things previously applied to outcasts
now mainstream?

An outcast is never truly outcast
for they outweigh those
said to be cool and popular
still

no matter how big the group
outcasts always seen as that
minority of preps will soon see
that the true outcasts
are those

hiding behind the validation
of others
and their crew

eyes
mouth
lips
smile
not a thing
out of place

hair
laugh
hands
and fingers

feet and toes
right up to your noes

laughs
jeers
pointing and laughing
peers breaking down
the masterpiece

arms reaching
grabbing
wanting to break
beauty

beauty that outranks them
that shines so brightly
shoved behind
tears
and baggy clothes

you are beautiful
from your eyes to your nose
down to your toes

your ears and lips
even your hips

people want to break
what they can't be
but beauty my dear
is what you will forever be

With friends broad smile
Happy thoughts courage
Without
Hiding on the stairs
Wishing to be invisible

Heart beats and hammers
Shadows blooming
Beckoning
Trail along silently
Translation not needed
Living outside the body
Gazing down on the maze
Paths and roads
Painting an earthy mural
Mirrored petals
And twirling tornadoes of autumn
Prancing around as clouds shade
And the moon illuminates
Weariness

When I found you
You were a small, shriveled seed
Forgotten even by the birds
And the ants the crawled across the ground.

When I saw you
Stuffing fell in great piles
And scarlet seams ripped open
The fabric torn

When I spoke to you
It was through glass
My voice muffled
And eventually
I resorted to attempting backwards writing
On the glass between us.

When I held you
I was afraid
So many pieces
One wrong move
And you'll scatter all over the floor.

And I took that seed
And gave it to my mother
And asked her to teach me
How to grow a tree

I took the teddy
To my grandma
Who showed me how to fix the seams
And gave me a heart to put inside it.

I struck the glass with a hammer
From my brother
And as tiny crystals rained down
I hurried to shield you

And pulling out my seams
I stitch you together.
With part of me
So you're never alone

But....

Though I have found you
You insist on staying broken
And you pick at the seams
And collect the glass
But even so
If you leave
My seams will still hold
Till the day you come to find me

Delicately placed
upon her bedside
how did he get past
with out her knowing?

snoring beside
still in a world of dreams
he stares
yearning for her beauty
and in the doorway
stand her guardian

he rubs his eyes, once, twice
no anger, only confusion
with a tilt of his head
silently he questions
who are you

you freeze, caught
surely, this will be your last night
where you can gaze
upon her sleeping form.

Drop by in the morning, it's late
you stare in surprise, no malice on his features
eyes on the white rose
he leaves you to your devices

Appply , rinse, red runs down
Copper still sits on the tongue
Repeat watch
As it swirls down
Resisting to poke where copper wells
Still it sits
Though less with ice
The odd taste of copper

You're as gentle as a lover
your patience knows no bounds
so tender is your touch as you place us in the ground
your hands tirelessly work
your eyes rarely blink
Late conversations keep you from catching a wink
your soundless voice soothes us
you are never in a rush
when you start your work
we bid each other hush
you rest our weary bones
and release us from this home
you reassure us we won't be buried alone
Dear precious grave digger
though we wish to flee
By your side is where we belong
we remain with thee

Stuck in fantasy
cursed
broken
sad little boy
alone

smothered by conformity
forced to be
what he is not

be this
Don;t be that
Don't be you

No
no
refusal
no

break
no
break!
NO!
BREAK!
NO!
­
just a fool
always the fool
not going
to stay
chooses to stay
lost in yourself