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Everyone has a first love and you just happen to be mine. All you want to be is friends. But I can't help loving you. So I'm sitting here crying, telling myself that I have to move on. I don't know how to move on so
I guess I'll just be a *****.
1565

Some Arrows slay but whom they strike—
But this slew all but him—
Who so appareled his Escape—
Too trackless for a Tomb—
I'm tired of this fake reality.
This non existent world I call home.
This fantasy where whales fly with the wind while woodpeckers swim with the waves.
A place that Impossible scenarios call home.

Exhaustion takes me there every night.
I've studied this place and I know how it works now.
It's not a home for impossible scenarios but a place for false hope.
It takes your memories and creates fantasies that'll never turn into actualities.
I've noticed this so I've stop trying to go there.

These nightmarish places disguised as fascinating fantasies are no interest to me anymore.
I'm leaving this hellish place behind but I'm not going to leave without something.

I'm not going to let my nightmares runaway with years of my dreams.
I will drag something good out of this situation because my teacher told me to write a celebration.
When in reality
For me at least
That is almost unachievable.
Key word almost

All I have ever wrote is depressing poems crafted by a beautiful mind using sinful words.
So I ask myself:
How is this possible?
How does one take a hellish situation and find hope?
How does one go outside their comfort zone?
What am I going to do?

I've tried before.
It only stuck me in second place at my freshmen year slam which ***** because I finally know I'm much more then some ******* second place at a freshmen year slam.
I just wish I knew that early.
So I wouldn't have to have these emotional scars, and physic.

They have returned, day after day, week after week, year after year.
But I am done.
I'm going to find something good in these nightmares if it kills me.

I've taken these emotional scars and taught myself to deal with them.
These scars that are unseeable can't restrain me anymore.

You see, I finally now how to give celebration to these corrupted dream catchers that live inside my head.
These Permanent EMPs that block dreams and not nightmares.
These things that have created unwanted dates with unwanted "dreams".
I've experienced anything and everything there.
So if I'm gonna pull anything from this hellish place.
It's experience.
I've played this game of life hundreds of times and I finally know the level nows.
I know where not to go.
I know what not to do.
And I know who not to talk to.

You see these things are just thoughts from my broken guardian angel trying to warn me about the bad things in life.
The things in life that broke her and made her unrepairable.
She does not want that for me.

So thank you broken guardian angel for stealing my dreams and making them nightmares.
I've only just realized that these nightmares are metaphors for hard life lessons.
This was suppose to be an Ode for my English class but I kinda went over board :/
 Apr 2016 Eddie Matikiti
rekojeth
Oh, rose why did you cut me by
Your thorns that caused me pain and make me cry,
There’s something that I really don’t understand,
How could you be like that when I give you everything that you want.

On the desert I used my tears for you to grow,
And I know you saw it how it flows.
It was like giving someone hospitality,
And after doing it they just have killed you right away
It was a feeling like someone’s already dying,
But you’re still asking them to stay.

My heart have died in many ways,
The pain was becoming more painful more and more each day.
I never thought that you will be like that,
So much beauty you contain,
But too much pain you can bring.

So I realized killing myself for you,
There’s nothing I could gain,
And think that from the rough and rocky place I came,
I should already go to the plain.

I'm sorry my most red rose of all the kind,
But it seems for a long time I now realized that I was too blind.
So now i'll take the opportunity,
To give you the life you wanted to be.

Because the more I hold you more tightly,
The more I cry and want to die nightly.
Thinking about all the things that I’ve done,
And you just for taking it for fun.

So goodbye my red rose,
Ill just face this hell with my eyes closed,
Remember that I love you with all my heart and soul,
I really don’t want to say this but I'm letting you go.
my flowers are about to die
now the sun is falling later
& i’m getting
everybody high
because
everybody wants
to get high.

april comes fast, every single year.
there are always distractions.
i need a certain kind of fuel to start
the flame inside my being.

my words are a sort of music
which hold their own without
a melody or tune to hum:

exhale & your world is enveloped in color. our scars match up like we’re in unison together. my refrain is tired. chorus outstretched. she’s waiting for something worth waiting for ;

tie my bones together with piano wire.

*brixtonbell.com
© all rights reserved.
Ah, heedless girl! why thus disclose
  What ne’er was meant for other ears;
Why thus destroy thine own repose,
  And dig the source of future tears?

Oh, thou wilt weep, imprudent maid,
While lurking envious foes will smile,
For all the follies thou hast said
Of those who spoke but to beguile.

Vain girl! thy lingering woes are nigh,
If thou believ’st what striplings say:
Oh, from the deep temptation fly,
Nor fall the specious spoiler’s prey.

Dost thou repeat, in childish boast,
The words man utters to deceive?
Thy peace, thy hope, thy all is lost,
If thou canst venture to believe.

While now amongst thy female peers
Thou tell’st again the soothing tale,
Canst thou not mark the rising sneers
Duplicity in vain would veil?

These tales in secret silence hush,
Nor make thyself the public gaze:
What modest maid without a blush
Recounts a flattering coxcomb’s praise?

Will not the laughing boy despise
Her who relates each fond conceit—
Who, thinking Heaven is in her eyes,
Yet cannot see the slight deceit?

For she who takes a soft delight
These amorous nothings in revealing,
Must credit all we say or write,
While vanity prevents concealing.

Cease, if you prize your Beauty’s reign!
No jealousy bids me reprove:
One, who is thus from nature vain,
I pity, but I cannot love.
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