I sit here silent and solid,
In my armor of glass .
You with your strongest gun,
Aiming and ready to blast.
Empty faces and cold places.
Buses and trains through sun shine and rain.
My feelings like a hurricane deep with in,
Deformation of constant reality.
I see my way in eyes of damage,
Your stare is silent cruelty.
You claw your way into me.
I've been here, but never this far.
Sitting on the curb watching feet and cars,
I'm a stranger in my own home,
A beginner to my own game.

The days are growing short, shorter in time.
Caught in the tragedy that is my mind.
As cliche as it sounds, sometimes
I'm so over whelmed I wish I could drown.
Drown out the sound, all my feelings, and just be numb.
The more I feel, the more I set myself for disappointment, hurt.
You can say I'm dumb but with this heart I wish to take no part in life.
I'm too vulnerable, weak, and unbalanced.
I'll fall over warm words and crack like an egg shell.
I want to be adored, I want to be taught.

Here I stand, there I lay
Never safe, always by value of face
I'm only living for the day
Leave me without a trace

Weak like old bones
Sunk into the gap in my chest
I'm always always alone
My heart gets no rest

We walked in cities and along shores
I stuck to you instantly
Brush me off, you can't do us anymore
Now we wonder separate, distantly

Deep in a sinkhole of my thoughts
I can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't sleep  
All I can do is suffer and rot
I whisper from the bottom of my soul "Choose me to keep".

Sometimes I slip into old songs that take me back to genuine memories.
I watch them play out like my favorite parts of a movie, and hit rewind so much they fade away.
In those few seconds, in those moments, I was one hundred percent okay. I was living when I was okay.
I was okay when I woke up to a bowl of cereal and cartoons.
I was more than okay playing outside while paying no attention to the sun as it crept below the horizon.

My new shoes use to make me jump higher and run faster.
I felt invincible wearing my homemade cape inside my castle made of cardboard boxes.
I was anyone I wanted to be.

My shoes get me to where I need to be.
I feel so vulnerable and weak trying to balance everything.
Constantly packing my belongings into cardboard boxes.
I am not the person I want to be, or thought I'd be.

I never saved for anything in my life,
Sold my soul to protect me from the cold.
Pocket change, trying to rearrange my path.
I lay down deep and hold my breath in the tub, I can't even afford death.
I walk along side buses and trains to get where I should of been in my brain an hour ago.
This is no roller coaster, but a steady decent below.

If I had a nickel for every time life kicked me in the ribs while I was down, I tell you man I'd be rich, rich, rich. Rich enough to keep my soul, light my path and let you know life is free.