You should be shame of yourself.
He been in relationship with you for four years and never mad at you.
He is also willing to come from far away just to see you. just. Did you know how much he loves you?
I think you don't because you're busy look at other guy.
I know he will never ever give up on you because I knew him longer than your relationship with him.
Yes, there's once i love him but i let him go to you. I thought you will be with him and i was wrong. I regretted what i have done. You are lucky he loves you.

I know you're scared of me,
I know you didn't get an enough sleep because those dark circles under your eyes told me.
I can't go far away from you.
You are always shining and it's make us,me wanna get closer to you.
You can make our life better and rest in peace.

We're all dead now. There's nothing we can do unless with your help.
We need you because we are just a soul.

I was shocked when you held my hand.
Nothing happened but you still held my right hand. Tightly.

I watched your face, i knew you but i can't remember who.
You're smiling and pulled me closer to your embrace.

I want to say to you that i think i have a crush on you.

But then i heard "BANG!! ".
Then continuing with screams.

......

I opened my eyes and found out I'm in bed.
My mom is screaming at me to wake up now.

It's more than just constant worry,
It's fear.

The fear of the small things,
Did I leave the oven on?
Did I lock the door?
Do my socks match?

The fear of the big things,
Does he love me?
Am I annoying?
Is somebody following me?

The fear of seemingly impossible things,
What if somebody shoots up the school?
What if I die today from a meteor?
Are there robot overlords?

The fear of unfortunate possible things,
What if If I don't have exact change?
I don't know how to answer this question, what if the teacher calls on me?
I cant stop loving him, even though he probably doesn't know I exist

It is more than a constant worry,
It's fear.