when I was losing
my mind

and the walls
crashed into the sky

no one noticed

it was painted
in my eyes

just a whisper

until the storms
came knocking

a quiet, steady
decline

while I was losing
my mind

and no one
noticed

I built a castle
from empty bottles

they said
I was too much

said I was pretending
to be blind

not focused enough
to meet the deadline

to gather clothes
and new obsessions

you’re only as good
as your possessions

bury your truth,
your soft confessions

there’s no such thing
as depression

pay attention
to all the lessons

you’re just prose
with no direction

try harder
to make connections

six months
of a better you

will fix the last
twenty

pick better hobbies
and a real profession

maybe they’ll invite you
to be part of the collection

God knows you need
better company, some
standard corrections

with all the mayhem
and recession

it's so hard to
be special

don’t you watch
the news?

you’re only as good
as the things you buy

buy that red dress
you always wanted

and maybe
just maybe

you’ll be enough

for someone
to notice

la luna tiene la intención
entre las cortinas de gasa
de tocar mi habitación

desliza su brazo largo
buscando my pezón
perla que conduce al corazón

de mi carne mortal
no puede deshacerse
su rayo albo polvoroso

sola en la galaxia mengua
y en la tierra los lobos escuchan
cuando la luna aúlla

born in bundles
under hooks and clamps
in the damp dark
in the hard lack

what agony distorts
the music in the hall
echoes of roars
laments through the walls

riding to the abattoir
with moist protruding eyes
a fox and a baby ox
wearing our finest coats

I rehearse the night,
wide-legged, wide-eyed,
a posture of prayer,
to hold and horrify.

I could’ve torn myself,
just fragile enough,
to keep you watching,
a girl made rough.

You chose the keyhole
to savor the frame,
An exhibit of flesh,
unsigned by shame.

In cinematic detail,
you bought my fireline,
paid in cold cash,
colder still, the outline
of shadows moaning in shrine.

The mattress too wide,
too deep, too stark,
darker than my nightmares
of men made of spark.

I longed to dissolve
in the softness of your hand,
an offering, a fever,
a ruin unmanned.

But instead
you wept into mine,
as if your grief
were more divine.

In the gulf of our desire,
I freed the fleeting regret
of letting you see me dancing
and letting you kiss me insane.
For the sky over the ocean
turned dark and ****** red
as the sun sank below my faith,
witnessing your unbothered death.

Exploding florescent flowers
Refuge of the fallen
Assembly lines for hours
Another night in the sea of summoning dark
Ive noticed a growing paranoia just around the temples
The stress shadow slips two firm hands around my throat
Notations of subtle insanity growing around the curves of my teeth
Strange sensation, to lie free and naked among a field of poppies
Fluttered are the ethereal wings of Hope
Given now the universal hand of Time
Perplexing phantoms of secret coves unite
A symmetry of gravitation lies between
Soothing atmosphere and end of light

I'm lying in my bed
with  expectations that never met
expectation of how beautiful it'd go
those plans i made i sold it pretty short

and i know i can do it all
fly and soar, prove them wrong
but something aches inside it  burns
emotions tangled and motives lost
and i make plans for another day
and yet i procrastinate

i look in the mirror and i see the little girl
the girl who couldn't wait for teenage to come
how I'd stay late night drink coffee and complain
hang out with my small knit of friends
get hobbies learn talents
but the sunshine's fades
and I'm back  staring at my to do list
with thousand a list but
nothing's ticked

so stupid so dumb
how I've been waiting for you for so long
with my plans abandoned
and my heart set
just for the slightest glance-

and you give me a glance
and take my breath away in return
and I, hungry for love
devote my delusive heart
to what could have been us
carelessly and soberly dwell on the land
the land where we aren't apart

no trace of your name
where you live or your age
just the footprint
on the road that we met
a stranger
a complete stranger but yet so dear and close
a stranger that easily could break my heart in two
but when I'll mend my sorrow heart
I know I'd still beat for you
so I'll wait
wait my entire day
for that singular moment of you
though no sound is heard
no trace of your caressing touch
and as the second pass
and we cross the road we met
don't trouble your SPIKY head
cause tomorrow my love I'll take that same road again.

One land, one sky, one sea, one people,
the boundaries that divide us are not on maps,
but in our minds and hearts. There will be
no nations, no money, no jails and prisons.
To heal those who are hurting, there will be
LOVE CENTERS where they will be loved,
not punished. All 8,000,000,000 Citizens of Earth
will have a responsibility and a right:  
to treat others with kindness and respect  
and to be treated with kindness and respect.
All Citizens of Earth are encouraged to do
what they love. Each will have to spend 10 years
between the ages of 18 and 60 to help humanity
and our home, Earth. Every Citizen of Earth
will be free to travel anywhere on Earth.
There will be no weapons on Earth. Our mantra
will be UNGUN EARTH. All needs--food,
clean water, health care, housing, education--
will be given equally to all Citizens of Earth.
A World Picnic will be held on a different
continent every year. The World Picnic will
last the whole year. All Citizens of Earth
will be provided transportation to spend
a week at the World Picnic to enjoy different
foods, different customs, different languages
from around the world. All can experience
differences with joy, not dread.   
Love, not hate. Peace, not war.
Planet Peace.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

I do not love you
like a traveler loves a view—
I love you
like a secret loves silence,
like depth craves depth.

You are not just water—
you are emotion in motion,
a hymn sung by moonlight,
a soul with salt and storm
in your veins.

I love how you breathe
without needing anyone to notice.
How your tides rise and fall
without shame,
how your waves hold both peace
and power.

I love that you rage
when the sky grows cruel,
that you speak in roars
when you're no longer heard.

You are not just blue—
you are every feeling
I’ve ever buried,
every tear the world
never saw me cry.

And I,
fragile yet fierce,
quiet yet alive,
found in your vastness
a mirror.

I do not visit you.
I return to you.
For in your depths,
I remember—
I am made of wild things too.