I have to constantly tell myself that I didn’t love him.
I used him
he used me
for comfort, and comfort only.
I’ve only ever loved one human being in that way on this planet. 

And it’s okay
because when I tell myself I didn’t love him
I know we were in the same place.
Our chests were both hurting from someone else
hammering
nails
into
our
hearts.
We needed each other then
but we didn’t love each other ever.
A.p.

I remember those little notes we wrote
The tiny pieces of our hearts that were scattered across our life
I remember the way we would laugh at nothing
Tears welling in our eyes because our bodies couldn't absorb all the happiness we had inside
I remember the nights we would lay together
Sharing with one another what we
would never reveal to the world 
I remember holding hands in the car
From a trip down the road to the countryside of another place
I remember all of our silly moments, our shared tears,
and those little things that pulled our big worlds together. 
I remember everyday how easy it is to remember you.
And how impossible the task of forgetting you will be.

Time is not given
It's stolen in each moment
Making memories of shadowed nights
Essences of impulse and laughter 
Lacing through each hole
Although the blossoms of life may not get the chance to bloom, 
Heavy clouds keeping them from life, 
Our worlds collided
With forces of destined allies
Affinity roping our universe into orbit
In each small moment of nostalgia
We will now carry you dear friend
In our life, our loss, and our love.

If I take your hand,
will you guide me?
I cannot find the way alone.
As you are my light,
promise to never leave me in the dark.

I'm really scared of How you have the ability to break me
To leave me completely bare
Unable to move or breathe