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everytime you
break my
heart

i'm the one
that says
sorry
 Mar 2020 GirlWhoShivers
phoebe
red laced button up shirts and long shoulder length golden honey hair
he was carefully handcrafted, and i knew god took his time on this sunkissed angel. i just hope he had me in mind when he made the sun angel’s soulmate.

sun baby can play the harp with my ribcage and it’ll still sound heavenly because anything he touches will never turn to stone; they’ll simply be crystalline.

i wish to be as enchanting as my sun angel, but he doesn’t have any beauty to spare, he’s very greedy. he likes to absorb all the light from the sun, and keep it for himself. baby, i may like the dark but i like you even more.

i feel like i have summer’s guilt chilling my bones, and i can see him in the rear view mirror with his brightly beaming aura

so hold your breath, we’ll be just fine.
the silence
hurts more
than the
words
I get replaced so easily
 Feb 2019 GirlWhoShivers
eF
Hate.
 Feb 2019 GirlWhoShivers
eF
I give myself,
I give it all.
You never notice,
No one ever does.
It’s like the more I give,
The more you’ll take.
The more I love,
The more you hate.
I’ll most likely delete this. It’s not my norm.
It seems like pointless rambling. Just need to stop bottling it up before I explode.
Sorry. Hope you enjoy.
it feels like my brain has crumbled
and there's all of this empty space
to create something new,
but the only material I have to work with
is the ruins of the old brain.

I'm rearranging the pieces.
I revisited the I don't want to live part of my brain
and moved the don't in between I and want to give up.
I relocated trauma and built it next to strength.
the maladaptive thoughts revisit sometimes,
but they never manifest into action anymore.
I couldn't destroy the I deserve this piece,
so I centered it in love and kindness.

I thought the inside of my head was built to last.
once you put clay into a kiln,
it's impossible to reshape it without breaking it.
there was hesitance before the destruction.
there was a crack, a catastasis, but a calm collapse,
and in the rubble, I saw a way to heal.
I never knew a wrecking ball could be so gentle.
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