I can't think of anything sweeter than to have your own child run down the hall screaming Daddies home.

For she who crossed roads with me then diverged in the woods.

As young man my first true love was Julie Oettle. As a young man my emotions were able to rule me and the tumultuous times I had were adventures. Julie and I broke up when she started dating another man. She claimed she didn't believe that I was true to her however I had been. Years later I ran into her by accident in Henderson Kentucky where once our loves had played. Our roles were reversed. I was happily married with a child Tatertot and she was unhappily divorced. That afternoon I spent playing in the pool with her 8 yr old son swimming but as evening approached she wanted me to stay. I couldn't break the bond I had in marriage. She said to me "the man I remember would have stayed".To that I was incredulous and told her "You never knew me at all". Perhaps it is true we find fault in others for what we are guilty of ourselves.I hope she found happiness. Her lack of faith in me was disheartening and heartbreaking at the time. I think in the end she saw the error but too late.

Not a serious write. Just a thought on my own responsibility for some of the pain I have known in the past. I caught my own reflection in the mirror and couldn't help seeing I am guilty as sin! lol I couldn't help it the Paper Moon movie is such an icon of Americana.
Just having some fun the paper moon movie reminds me of the racetrack and the kids both grown and not who acted so badly they ought to put them in a test tube and study them lol

I wish for all of us that this be true.

Will man ever learn his children are his future? Other peoples children mean just as much to their family as well. May we all pause at the thought of pain for any childs sake. To our servicemen I would like to say "Let your heart be your guide and though you might be scarred by your experiences. May your memories flow to the times when the noblest of your nature won out.

Books are the windows to the world. But more than that they traverse time itself. As they take you to Melviles time of Moby ****. They inspire. More than that they create the world of imagination. For Ahab the White Whale was nothing to be so idealised, rather it was "...all the subtle demonisms of life and thought; all evil, to crazy Ahab, were visibly personified, and made practically assailable in Moby-****. He piled upon the whale's white **** the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart's shell upon it."

We face them every day, and sleep with them every night. Our character is defined by how we deal with our mistakes! For those of us who learn best the hard way this is both bittersweet and true

My darkest days were comforted by the poetry they inspired.
One of my favorite poems is this one. It tells the tale of how pain is so relative to our age and circumstance
Softened by Time's consummate plush,
by Emily Dickinson

Softened by Time's consummate plush,
How sleek the woe appears
That threatened childhood's citadel
And undermined the years.

Bisected now, by bleaker griefs,
We envy the despair
That devastated childhood's realm,
So easy to repair.

I knew a man like this once. His life all but lived. He patiently waited for the end.Which wasn't long in coming. Children give us the legacy that makes the bitterness of our short life more tolerable

Lucy Hamilton whose light shone across an entire ocean, to brighten the moonlit sky upon my endless nights.

Dear Lucy:
Each time Becky and I hear your voice on the phone we light up, look at each other and smile over the beauty that is you. We both wish you all our love from centuries and ancestors past and present.

There was a time when my heart was cold as ice. Long before I remarried and had recovered my life. But I found bitterness too hard a hard pill to swallow. Thankfully time marched on and the better angel of my nature took control of my heart leading me to happiness again. When I first wrote this poem I was so deeply distressed. That day I decided to make of my life something new. Tonight while thinking on those days I went through my thousands of pictures and gave my exwife those that I thought she should have. A peace offering I suppose. Though after a few drinks I have to admit the song from Iris Dement had me laughin so hard. That because it is not human nature to let go pain and grant forgiveness. However I shall try not to dwell on past misery. I am trying very hard to let go the hard thoughts and swim in the river of forgiveness and grace. To those few people whom I loved and who dared to love me.
Thank you!

Why is it we strive for power over everything and everyone? Only to find in later life that we wasted much of our time feeding our vanity instead of our friends. May we all strive to know the feeling of love of ones nature instead of admiration and fear of ones finances. It is the love of your nature that will fill the hearts of others when they think of you. Those same people will always wish for your company and treasure your blessings upon them and theirs.

For life's time waits on none of us.
It masters fate with earnest callous.
Caring for none in favored mercy.
Helping not who it shows malice.

The times they are a changing .

When we are young our own hopes and dreams are the only thing on our minds. Then comes the day when you realize how short and how sweet life truly is. When your child looks at you as a man and smiles with that innocent unwavering admiration for what you take for granted. The ability to put a roof over their heads and a song in their heart. I was thinking of my little friend Drake Cooper today. He use to run down the hall screaming "Tates here"!.Then jump in my arms. It reminded me of my own boy when he was that little. And so endeared him to my heart.

For all the fathers whose unsung dreams were just to be a part of their child's life.
Tate

It is always after the fact that we notice the problems that we ourselves have fed.

The stories that come from long ago have a kernel of truth to them. That is why they have survived

Some of us have had the pleasure of meeting a gold soul.And thankfully never forgot it .
I wrote this for my friend George whose heart led my soul through life when I needed him most. Would that I could grant him a few of my own years.
George suffered a stroke 10/25/12 and all was touch and go. Though he has recovered I feel the hand of time on my shoulder. Reminding me that life is precious! What is the value of a man? To me George is the greatest man I ever knew. It has become quite evident that I will have to face this pending loss. I hope I can do this with the dignity befitting this great man. From this once wandered man to be I would just say. "No one was ever more loved than he is by me."
"Thank you George."
This is for those of you who belong to facebook. It is a tiny excerpt from the 20 minute 8mm film I rescued of his wedding in 1957
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151978140193586

I have given this much thought. Many friends over the years have asked me if they should confess to their lovers. I have come to see it is a selfish act. While most religions and 12 step programs say confess as the Catholics do. I say no. You are crushing the innocent partners soul with your confession. Sometimes it's better to take responsibility for your actions. Live with the pain of what you did. It will help guide you next time. When one laments the wrongs of their life it creates these pains. They are called the conscience. So live with them. And try to be better next time. I have made many mistakes and I shall atone for them in the end. I did these things myself and it is not for others to suffer the consequences. I am glad I will take my own transgressions with me. After all I am responsible for what I do as is everyone. I have spent many years trying to reconcile with myself. I am not saying I did anything truly awful. However I let myself down more than a few times in my youth.

Will we never stop beating the drums of war ? Only to pave the streets of conquest with the souls of children. I wrote this after attending the funeral of a friends dear child. You know goodness has a sound to it. It is the laughter of children Who play unafraid in the streets of a town. Lacking that we have failed to secure anything. Goodness is not what we won't do. Nor some question of whom we exclude. It is the unselfish act of humanity. That sees ourselves in those we include.

Having been divorced I can tell you it is not unusual for a man who loves with his heart to inherit the winds of perdition.

I need not say what this is about. We all know don't we? Go see your parents and grandparents.
Life's time waits on none of us.
It masters fate with earnest callous.
Caring for none in favored mercy.
Helping not whom it shows malice.

They wont be here when you find the time to visit.
Do it while you are thinking of it.
There is no regret like that dealt to the one who wasn't there when needed.

Haven't we all thought back to the moment we were up to bat?
With the weight of the world on us we then struck out.
Baseball is the national sport here. It is the only sport to have a commisioner all powerful who is in charge of guarding the integrity of the game. In 1919 the first commisioner Judge Kennesaw Mountain Landis was elected to the lifetime post to combat the cheating that the white sox had done in the world series. Even though all were aquitted he banned them all from the game for life saying "No player who gambles on the game of baseball or sits in conference with others who do and does not tell his franchise will ever play the game again." He added What these men have done is to plant a doubt in the minds of every American school boy who ever looked up to them with honor. Forever crushing their sense of fairplay and honesty"!
The White Sox were for years then after refered to as the Black Sox!

Childhood:
Softened by Times consummate plush,
How sleek the woe appears
That threatened childhoods citadel
And undermined the years!
Bisected now by bleaker griefs,
We envy the despair
That devastated childhoods realm,
So easy to repair.

Emily Dickinson

Would that we all could have such an impact upon mans own inhumanity to man. As Ghandi was once heard to say "If we look for an eye for an eye it will leave the world blind. In light of the horrific killing at the grade school in Connecticut this morning I would say we have learned little. Hold tight your children to your breast. When I am asked what I want for Christmas I always have to search my heart and the answer is always the same. I want every lonely child to know the love of their family. With that thought I am always reminded of those who pack for the weekend wait by the door for the parent who is just too busy to come get them this week. Loss of family is what makes for the dispossessed. My heart just bleeds for these poor families in Connecticut. For them Christmas will forever be the time that stole their hope, their future, their dreams.
This killing today was the 7th mass ****** of 4 or more people in the United States this year alone.

We tend to be such a predictable as a species. Predatory to the core. Yet here and there I see hope of evolution taking a kinder approach.
Lets Hope before we **** us all.
Written for the turbulent 60's and all they gave and took from us.

I can't say that this piece is wrapped completely in reality. It was a thought of youth and time I spent with others and still remember. Time changes everything does it not? Young love is a lot like that. We always entrust our future to the winds of fortune. What once seemed like the end turned out to be only the beginning of something much better. So to all of you who are still young remember this from a man who has been there. It may seem like your love is gone. As if everything you dreamed was just that, a dream. These moments are the ones that carve the character that will make you interesting to others in the future. The only ones who truly know what life has in store, are those who have lived it and come out the other end a little wiser. The pain that will seem to accompany young love teaches us to be true to one another. These pains will help you through life. Through memories of these mutual pains, those endured and those imposed by us on others, we learn to respect each others feelings. This will make you a better person. One you too can respect.

Who can say with any certainty that one day this will not be their own fate? "There but for the grace of God go I". These people had hopes dreams children families. Who cares why they have fallen down? It is the duty of humanity to lift them to their feet. In this era of globalization we have taken a step backwards in civility. Gone are the days of pensions and compassion. Crushed under the jackboots of the giant corporations that don't believe in humanity at all. Corporate profit is all that matters to the world now. All are made to be thrown out none are saved or even repaired. Our politicians are as corrupt as ever selling our birthrights to the highest bidder and leaving the old and infirm along the side of the road. Greatest place in the world? The day will come when we are given the choice to end our days through euthanasia. Rather than to live as an outcast to the society that no longer values us. Welcome to the 21st century. Everything we hear is an opinion not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not a truth. Many have been convicted on an opinion of a perspective.

I often think of my own end. It is hard not to feel the hand of time on me. Life has a way of wearing us down. I have outlived my own predictions by many a year. I once thought I would surely meet the end by the time I was thirty. I shall have to console myself with the thought that I might just live to be old lol.

Who can say with any assurance that they know where their life will take them?
But like all of us I too had dreams. Maybe they were a bit lofty. Maybe they were naive. We all know the boundless wonder of becoming an astronaut or fearless explorer.
However the man who crushes a child's dreams may as well have killed him.
Forever is the innocence lost. Forever will he doubt the word of all adults. Lost is the beauty of divinity. Lost the love of fair play. Gone the reward for decency, never to return. This is why we must take our responsibility for the young as a most divine effort and solemn responsibility.

When I first wrote this piece it lacked an owner. I was looking for the man who virtues would personify the qualities listed herein. When I met Michael I knew I had found just such a person. So last Christmas I laid it out on canvas. It was given to Michael as a present. Little could any of us imagine how prophetic these lines would become. Yet none the less he remains the one deserving in my mind of such an honor. When I met Michael I turned to my wife and said" Man what a nice guy. He must have great parents". And so he does. His father Steve a generous stoic soul, cut from the tough pioneer stock that once tamed this country. While his mother could best be described as a saint. It is easy to see where his strength and humanity came from. Michael was one of those few men by whom we judged ourselves and found we were wanting. Michael s life ended tragically a few days ago. What's left to say but we loved him we miss him. Nothing fills that void.
What more could a man ask but to have a loving family and good friend's?

Can any man say he is not beholding to the spring from which life flows? Kathy died Monday May 19th at 3 am. She was the soul, both part and parcel of our clan. As in the times of the ancient mariner we all hear the call of sirens that gesture us to sail home. Continuity of purpose flows from the wellspring of our lives. In the end we all find we are drawn inexorably home, to the hearth from around which we told our tales of long ago and spun our yarns of a life well lived. The well spent life will always beckon from the winds of change a call for home. Kathy was the glue that holds to us all. She was the keeper of our stories and heritage.

My children are my life's treasure! This is for you both

Sometimes the thoughts of the mind take me back to times that seem like yesterday. However the day has set on those times and the new day risen on better ones

To all who have known the trials of a life beset with tribulation. I would just like to say the things that make life worth living are not to be found in pursuit of wealth. I never remembered anyone fondly for the station they held in life. True wealth for me is held within the hearts of those I have loved and who dared to love me. When I first wrote this piece it lacked an owner, as I waited for the one who might deserve it. Such was the case when my friend passed into memory. Mike died on my wedding anniversary February 13th 2013.

The air is sweeter, the night is cooler. Life springs forth anew. Such is my life since meeting Rebecca. I remember thinking to myself, what does she see in me? I am prone to times when I am depressed. I wondered till recently how Becky would react in those dark days. Thankfully she is a dream come true. She took my hand, calmed the seas of doubt and led me to the light!
"God grant me this one extravagance. May she and I dance till the end of time"!!

When we age I find we trade youth for treasure of experience .

Oh who can say what they would do if the winds had only blown them to distant shores. I wrote this of the dreams of another life not lived. I do not believe we are only able to love one person in life. I think there are thousands whom we might fall in love with if the time and place were right. It is the fates that leads us to our destiny. And this is just a thought on how life could be different if the winds had blown the opposite direction.

I think many times on the friends whose lives have effected my own.So many times I wonder why I had such a hard life. The truth is I had a good life and I am very blessed to have the family and friends that I call my own. Envy, jealousy and all that goes with it always leads to pain and misery. Be happy to be alive and well.And hope for this fleeting moment that you might be given the chance to share in another s fate and love.For what else can any of us hope for?

For the one who got away. A dream that was once an obcession

Set to Etta James version of Cigarette ashes

I dreamed a dream that became Rebecca my wife. Herein lies the truth of a tangible life. Oh on our deathbeds will we look back and find the thing we cherished valued and loved was something we barely touched yet dreamed might touch us;that of the love of another unconditionally reaffirming our right to exist and reason to live.

We have to keep our God placated with prayers, and even then we are never sure of him -- how much higher and finer is the Indian's God......Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact; the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his ***** and does it free of charge.
Mark Twain

It seems that it truly is our own intolerance of others that will do us all in. We need to occasionally look at ourselves and the things we believe. How else can we ever effect change. It almost makes me wonder why Jesus decided to come here as a 6 ft white man with blue eyes. This in a area where the population is under six ft tall and has light brown skin and brown eyes. He certainly would have stood out. We all know what populations do to those who are different. It is enough to ponder that a man doesn't know if he should laugh or cry! Could it be as simple an observation as this? Could it be true that man created God in his own image? That would surely be one way of explaining him acting like us.

There is just something grandiose about the stately Willow Tree. I have always had a fondness for them and they for me. I often thought one day I might build my child a tree house within the arms of a Willow. I think in the end I would also like my ashes to be buried neath the same tree. Lately I was fortunate enough to run into my childhood friend. He the one who shared with me my own childhood. Upon his sainted mothers homestead stood a stately Willow. That tree watched over us all through childhood. And was privy to many an adolescent secret. His mother died a few years ago. He told me she had at her request been cremated. That her ashes had been poured in ceremony into Lost Creek. This the creek that almost claimed our lives once in a fool-hearty downriver adventure. It would seem so fitting that I would wish to be left under the tree around which I grew up along side the creek where his mother was laid to rest. I once told her I would never have had a childhood had it not been for her. Her tears seemed to signal she took it well. Gladys Williams was without a doubt the greatest woman I ever knew. She and she alone holds the mantle of the most selfless soul I ever met. Gladys if you are up there listening this man wants to thank you for the wonders of life and love you showed me.
May God watch over her.

How many times do we walk by those we could so easily help?

Life the timeless healer has once again conquered all. As what was once a torrid tempest has become a minute squall. The Light that burns twice as bright lasts half as long!

Some of the parents who listened to doctor Spock in the 60s and 70s.Those who tried the kinder gentler approach to raising little Henry. Are now held hostage by their unruly children. So thank you doctor Spock for everything you didn't do. And for all the answers you professed to have but really never knew. Now the public schools want to discontinue the teaching of cursive writing and spelling . As they see it why do we need them anymore? However they also told us we didn't need the phonics that they discontinued back when children could read? The schools got one thing right. Why try to teach children to write if they can't even read? I would truly be interested in knowing just how many parents have been told by teachers that their children need medication. So if this is the case I would like to take a poll. Tell us all how many of you there truly are. Is this just a way to manage overflowing classrooms? When was it we gave teachers the right to diagnose medical problems? In years gone by we would have thought that an affront. It is truly out of their expertise. But I hear over and over that that teachers recommend certain doctors to make sure the children are medicated. If this is not the case tell me. I could be wrong . However it seems it would be more productive to fix the broken schools. Instead of saying the children are broken.

To Lucy Hamilton princess of Ireland, With whom I had planned a life. She could not leave her sainted mother who was ill. I am touched by the devotion.

I often wish if only all children could be so blessed. To be shined on by providence. Born a native son to the Midwest.

It isn't so hard to understand the differences in love and usury.
One is selfish the other selfless.