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I have stopped counting,
the days, for they are now
just seconds and hours that pour away
into the blankness of life.

It doesn't pain me because it is an
understanding that for you
love could never mean anything
more than a prolonged feeling of monochromia.  

You have fallen,
and fallen again.
Love is nothing more than
a chasing game for you.

But if I had never
come into your life,
what could, in your ways of life,
it have proved?

Nothing.

It was the mischief of the cosmos
that wanted us to be.
Else the weaves of the universe
would come undone.

We have our stories
already written
by a known
hand.

All we are,
are characters
waiting.
Till our curtain falls.

The thing is,
people change.

Every morning we awake to a new sky
Every day we are greeted by a new breeze

New.

Everyday you meet yourself again.
and again.

I met you again today.
You weren't the same.

Tall
Skinny
Lanky
Bags under your eyes.

You looked worn
not new.
Not like you've just met yourself.

You looked old
worn
dying

dead.



      ER.

But I am awakened by a burning on my cheek and the pitter patter of feet running away.
As I lift my hand to touch my face I feel my arms as lighter as before.
Both of my wrists are bandaged to cover the the scrapes,  cuts and scratches the chains put on me.  
The fire is also on again.  
I quickly turn around and draw myself close to this odd light giving off the heat that warms my body.  
In the distance I see a bridge .
A bridge that goes over a river running free throughout this dark cave .
People.
People like me crawling over this bridge .
Skinny,  worn out,  struggling to pull their selves across towards an opening at the opposite end of the cave.  
But what caused the shadows?
As I look at the wall I an surprised.
Nothing there .
Did my emptiness exaggerate my imagination?
I don't ponder very long before I try to stand.  
My legs,  too weak to hold my body up.
Like every other person I must crawl.
Sliding my body across this rough,  rocky cave closer to the bridge.
I feel my mouth begin to widen across my face.
What is this?  A smile?  I'm happy?
Across the splintery bridge I make eye contact with several others in the same situation.
We smile and continue.  
A light… I see a light!
As adrenaline shoots up my arms move faster.
Getting closer to the end of the cave i glance back once more to where I was once a prisoner.
I see someone standing in front of my fire.  
I look forward,  and when I look back the mysterious person is gone.  
I finally get to the end of the cave and once im out the light shines down and the suns heat is spilled all over my body.
When I look out and see the world for the first time its like nothing ive ever felt before.  
I'm now  on two feet
I hadn't even realized I was.
My life was now going to change.  
This is love,  
This is peace,
This is my **allegory of the cave.

A voice echoes through my head--
My name, sounding
Over and over again.

A thought flits across my mind,
And a smile alights on my face.

"Maybe it's my soulmate,"
My heart thinks.

My head shakes,
Dispelling the romantic fantasy.

Because hearts don't think,
And a stranger's voice can't speak in my head.

I am selfish!(At least I like to think I am so)
I'm sick and tired of caring about "them".
What might "they" think? How will "they" feel?
What will "they" do? What about "them"?

Well, to hell with them!
Have I not always cared? Every single minute of every single day,
I've cared, thought, wondered and pondered about "them".
I've tipped and toed around my way,
making sure NOT to fall into their bad side.

I made sure they were happy, that they were satisfied.
I tried not to make them angry. I always justified,
their judgments and their verdicts of me.
I kept colouring the pictures they drew of me.

But I don't want to impersonate anymore.
I don't want to live a lie.
I will not give up my freedom and happiness,
to satisfy a lot who do not concern me in any way.

If you think I'm too fast, too easy, too open or just plain evil,
simply keep away from me cause you cannot ever change me.
You will not emotionally hypnotize me again,
for now I have fully gained my rights to "live"!

There are dreamers
and there are realists in this world.
You'd think the dreamers
would find the dreamers
and
the realists
would find the realists,
but more often than not
the opposite is true
You see ,
the dreamers need the realists
to keep them from soaring
too close to the sun
and the realists...
well, without the dreamers
they might never get off the ground