Sweetness,
I hold your hips
Your eyes dilate
Alluringly
Like an eclipse
Sweetness,
Let’s saunter
Let’s dance to an apocalypse
Apocalyptic
Same as my heart is
Sweetness,
Let’s share the sins
Rain n’ bows
Soft skins

My God
knows Love is all I seek-
Not a life of ***, hedonism,
lust, gambling, and parties-
I do want kids,
to be a wife,
To give back in some way-
To be an aid in someone’s life
and live by what He says-
So what if I’m the wife of a woman?
If our kid’s DNA’s half ours?
I don’t think He discriminates-
Pursue what’s good;
That’s what He asks.

12.08.20                                    

                                     I adore watching you
                                   play with petals sinful.
                     On misty evenings during sunshine storms –
                                            you make me weak
                                   watching wandering fingers
                                          roaming depths unknown.
                            Arousal upon dancing
                            to timid moans.
                                       Tracing the lines
                                       along the map
                                                       of delicate skin
                                                  beneath your slender waist.
                                      The solo show!
                                                           ­ Performed for one;
                                              love fountains
                                                       ­  erupt.

I haven't prayed since that fateful day back in sixth grade
but lord knows for you
I would've knelt beside my bed
clasped my hands
and spoke to god
I would've asked him for a girl like you
with hair that calls for my fingers like the call to morning prayer
a laugh that wakes me better than a steeple ever could
a smile brighter than the pearly gates
eyes more beautiful than any stained glass window
a voice that sounds better than the loudest hymn
a mind that holds my own personal bible
and god would've sent me you
the angel he knew I needed
to make this place feel like heaven

I wished so gently for
a rush
though gentle, it was
always there
My heart constricted in a
crush
my mind rebelling
isn’t fair
I wish a woman would
approach me
Sincerely, it’s not all
about me
so help me God, it’s love
it’s love- a gentle
woman, fine and fair.

Your face lights up when you
see me in the hall
It’s such a feeling-
I confess to you, but only halfway
when I murmur, “liking girls
is all I can think about these days.”
And from you, it’s “awhh”
just like when I told you that
“I want you”
That was seven months ago
I’ve such an uncertainty.

Youth desires trysts
hot blood,
and new pursuers-
She desires more ease than work
not to seek but be sought after;
And I possess Her like the rest,
somehow I’ve had two lovers-
Yet both are not who I would have picked for myself,
both male and wildly immature...

I get myself into tight spots because of this desire,
and then wish just as quick to run from the admirer,
I want, all at once,
to be wanted and to be alone,
For Logic tells me
“you need none”
but my body wants Youth’s hot fun...