"He says it's weird seeing you with anyone other than Paul."
How I cant agree more.

When someone tells you they're in love with you. They're giving you themselves. Whole. Raw. Heart and soul. They're giving you trust and adoration. A hold on them.
...I...
I could never tell you.
You, who is everything else I need in my life.
You, who can tear me apart and keep me together.
You can never know just how much you really mean to me.
Just how much you've always meant to me.

I cried today
and burned away at my pain,

I hurt myself in a way,
I believed I had once fell in love with,
but soon enough forgotten.

you're simply not here anymore,
I am simply not worth a breath off your lips,
as you sigh,
as if to say,

Sweetie just leave for today,
and don't come back for tomorrow,
or any other day.

Like you wish to of said,
I will leave,
and I don't see myself coming back,

you like others,
have folded outstretched arms,
as you scold me,
as you tell me it's okay for me to be alone today,

I unlike you don't see how,
I can live without you,
I unlike you don't know how,
to keep going on.

Her kind of lonely wasn't the kind you just feel
It was the kind of lonely she went searching to resolve

It wasn't out of the ordinary to find her roaming around
looking for traces of him in the dust on the china cabinet
or in inanimate objects around the house

it wouldn't be peculiar to hear the lull of his favorite love songs playing through the thin walls of her one room apartment.
or to see her wipe away a tear as she opened the door
and invited you inside

It wasn't a rare sight to see her folding up the clothes he had left behind
Or typing paragraphs upon paragraphs of things she wished she would've said
Unfolding his clothes
bunching them up
throwing them in the corner

I can still see her hiding that stuffed animal he won for her at the fair
stuffing it in her closet
burying it under a pile of clothes and her own broken promises
entombing it deep enough to forget

Similarly, I still see her hiding the guilt she had found
I see her shoving it under her pillow
burying it under stardust and her own nightmares
keeping it close enough to remember

It wouldn't be bizarre if you caught her refolding his clothes
just 'one more time'
Putting them back in their drawers
Texting him
deleting the text before it sent
debating throwing out his old toothbrush

I remember quite clearly a time when she drank twenty bottles of water
all in succession
just to feel full again
I remember her holding her breath
until she'd turn blue
claiming she missed the way he took her breath away

Her kind of lonely wasn't the kind you just feel
it was the kind of lonely that drove her to insanity.

Why love is so complicated?
Everyone says we need to love, but nobody want to fight for it
And in the end, love was no reason to coexist if both parts dont have the will to fight for it
In this case, the love disfigures herself and becomes one thing
One thing called prison
And shackles the one who loves in memories that are born to fade