i hate it when i'm with a group and a person's laugh appears and sounds to be so real
but then the smile is quickly wiped off their face as they stare at nothing in particular
when the joke's finally said
and everybody else is finally done laughing
when they aren't aware of my awareness of their wariness

I don't know what I'm feeling anymore.

He loves me,
     so why can't I let myself love him too?
     What's holding me back?
And he says he loves me too,
     so why am I so wary of his love, and often
     left feeling unfulfilled and deserted?
I don't love me right now,
     and when I look in the mirror
     I don't recognize this person
     in front of me anymore.

My nights are filled with
     stolen kisses and
     drunken ***,
     yet I'm always left alone
     at the end of it.
And it's then, when I'm
     lonely and tearful
     that I question everything,
     most of all
                           myself.

I want you to be my princess
God willing I will be your prince
I need you to kiss me in the moonlight
I don't think you could make me happier
Than you already do


I knew my words were cliche
But how else was I supposed to say
That she made my heart burst with love
Love that could not be quelled
That begged to burst forth
But was kept inside
Because of the guardedness of my heart
Because of memories of the pain
That sprung from saying it last time

She couldn't have tried like she did
and they couldn't have missed it
so easily.

A pretty simple task,
but too many see too much
and her eyes flicker with what she
could know.

She could feel like they wanted
but who would she be,
then?

When found--they stared,
for their creation had fell apart,
not what they
foresaw.

Disconnected,
for what she thought she was,
or perhaps,
who she actually became,
had started to dissolve.

Gazing at herself,
the rise of what could be
withers
and with that her eyes
cloud over once more,
where she loses touch.

Her only want
being seen by others, but
distracted by her own being.