Like the sugar I lick off the tips of my fingers
Like the moment before falling asleep
Like the loss of thirst after drinking water
Like the instant of realisation when I comprehend the truth...

All momentary
All relieving
Like an extended release of rhythmic legato notes...

fingers tapping on the seat and teeth
biting into the steering wheel
leaving angry marks (silent screams)
gazing at the fire trucks in front of me
blazing lights blinding and
I am furious
at the way my brain turns me
inside out.
A (un)kind ******* to
the those in the past
(the boys the men)
who have
broken me turned me twisted me
bent me until I fit them
until I could not remember myself
not feeling lonely.
tied until everything was tight
and knotted
(how wicked of you)

and now I am
unwinding (slowly so so slowly) and that is
all I can promise him for now.
(that I will slowly unwind)

It is still tonight
and the melted moon
sheds a silver peace
on dazzled rooftops.

No distant trains,
no siren streets,
no drunken song
from men too married for their liking.
even small animals only whisper their calls
and all is well.

I am at peace
heavy limbs
ache with joy.
A bed beckons
a soft of sheets
a warmth of stories.

”I will arise and go now”(1)
to the upper room
to dream of seas and shells
and listen all night
to the surf’s soft sighing

(1) From the lake isle of Innesfree by WB Yeats