"I love you," she said

with her hand in her lap

as she looked up at her mother

whose hand began to tap




"I love you," she repeated

staring at her mom

just praying she'd say it back

but silence is what did come.




"I love you," she screamed

and she looked up with fear

the woman got up

and left her alone here




"I love you," she sobbed

but her mom didn't care

she left her there, helpless

without a single care




"I still love you," she sobbed

"unconditionally

but I guess my mother can't love

the actual me."

I think part of my problem is that I've been feeling like the issues I face are too much, too abnormal, especially for people I'm close to.

Then I feel like I'm too abnormal.
Too disgusting.
Too shamed.

I try to remind myself that of course I'm not normal
what I have been through is terribly abnormal.
But that doesn't mean that I myself am
terrible or horrible or ***** or unlovable or gross.

It just means I have to deal with things most people don't.

I am strong.
Even when I need help and support.