where I was rash and coarse
he was confidently unconfident
so sure of what he didn't know
he was all soft spoken words, wit dripping off of every word
I wanted his soul
I wanted to memorize the way his eyes twinkled with delight when he talked about something he loved
I wanted to be the thing he loved
he wanted to save the world
I wanted to be his
but I wanted to be the noncommittal sag and run and he was oblivious and beautiful
the world seemed to work against us while simultaneously not caring enough to keep us apart
edging us on long enough for me to fall face flat on the pavement of realization and while mending my bruised ego I sourly admit
****
I fell in love with an aquarius

She has glowing eyes
Gracing the land of skies
Where dreamy times collide
Lily Pad, her float
Lotus flowers, speak
Her fingers trace East to West
Grasshoppers make their leap
Earth fires off canons
As she prepares her sail
Green eyes strike a match
Do you hear that distant wail
Do you smell that burning flame
She certainly is wild
Arrows shooting higher
She was the Archer’s child.

It's hard to make decisions this week.
Am I blaming myself too much?
I know I shouldn't think I can muscle my way through,
Every impasse, every difficulty.

The sky, and the earth, even my own instincts are telling me to hold still.
I. Am. Trying.
Time is still indeed a mystery,
Stretching and bending.

Yes, everything doesn't need to happen at once.
But I just don't know what to do?
Oh God! Please give me a sign.
I wonder what's beyond that fine line?

one day, buy art supplies instead of clothes

choose not to trust many of those around you, except for the stars and strangers
love them more than yourself
let yourself feel something else
just for a month

it does not take a year to rewind
only a mindset
it’s all temporary if you want it to be

look at what only you want so see
take your life back and listen
hear the wind
and go with it.

I run laughing into night
You try to follow but
I’ve taken flight

I run laughing into night
You can seek but
I’ve dimmed my light

If you've got the vision
I'll be in sight, but

I'll always
Run laughing
Into night