i sit inside ur
church and circle my tongue around ur *** rim
giddy up horsye
u say
wow ur kinkyyyyy
this is a made up *** scene
i directed in my head
i just wanna do what u want
i wanna do what u would enjoy
but im still a dom
ok?
im still a dom

I WANT TO BE A PART OF YOUR LIFE THAT IS AWESOME FOR YOU

in 5 out of six classes i almost cried
i dont know why
i fell asleep next to this computer and banged my head on it 7 times during the night
sometimes i become self aware and become as small as possible
today i made a smoothie
and felt unhappy with my body
i want to leave the internet for a long time
and wear a hat at every moment of every day
i really hate food most of the time
im going to bake a cake
no actually thats a terrible ******* idea
okay
whatever
today on the 40 minute bus ride to school i was daydreaming about throwing up blood endlessly
i get a lot of comfort from standing near someone
i do not know how to explain it
there are so many people i appreciate and i dont know how to tell them

turns out I’m not as funny as I thought I was
also, turns out people who you talk to online are real people.
what
that’s weird
and nice
today I watched Scrubs for the first time
the main character is kind of cute
I do not like his friends ****** hair
today I watched the sunset in a field for the second night in a row
I decided I want to do this every single day
and I want people to come with me
but nobody wants to and I’m kind of sad about it
my friend is asleep and I’m not
if she were not here I would probably be crying about music
thx
when people ask what I write I have no idea what to tell them
because mostly people wouldn’t consider this poetry and I wouldn’t either
I just like writing small thoughts I think
I don’t know
I’m confused as ****
I’m nervous a lot of the time
I cannot keep eye contact with people because I am nervous at those times
that’s okay probably
she just made a noise that sounded happy while sleeping

I’m now listening to Goodbye Horses over and over
wow
I really love this song a lot
and it’s a song I’ll hear again when I’m, I don’t know, 23 or something
and I’ll hear it in someone’s house
while I’m laughing at something and then I’ll say
“I used to love this song”
and nobody will care except for me
and then I’ll cry in the bathroom with the song playing in the distance and the sound of people yelling over it
I imagine myself to be homeless at least once in my life
holy.dhit
****
there’s this ad on spotify about ******* hot dogs and I swear to god ig comes on between every song and I’m going to tfucking cut my legs off if I hear it again I promise you I will I do not care if the hot dog is kosher please stop advertising hot dogs it’s not something that needs advertising honeslty people buy hot dogs zzso often I’m tired
anyway
the song started again
um
I really want to have a neighbor that is not very old
and I will go to their house often and talk about food and point out the sound of their voice sounds nice and we can go outside and say things outside at night . ****