i can feel my self changing... my emotions are draining... the only emotions i have is sadness and anger... there’s weight on my shoulders, feels like an anchor... I dont know why I keep writing poems, it’s not like anyone reads them... im starting to care less, starting to feel numb... they say this pain will end... so here I am, breaking and bend... waiting for it to happen... but this anger is taking over, im gonna start snapping... I try and escape from reality... im such a nobody..

You were a nobody, a nobody
       And nobody cared about you
                   Now your a somebody,
   And everybody talks about you.

                                               ( oh ,    )

                    Your a somebody now,
                         So not just anybody
                            gets to talk to you ?

This morning i woke up
Woke up with a strange feelings
Running like a tornado in my chest
I can't breathe and i froze
I don't know why, but i just want to cry
Saw my reflection in the mirror
That shining girl is no longer there
That sincere smile replaced by the fake one
I have many friends, but there's no one
My chest is so heavy lately
I want to be alone, but i don't want to feel lonely

She was so lucky.
Friends.
Several of them.
All of them kind and real and amazing.
School.
So kind and real and amazing.
Nobody scans her as she walks the halls.
Nobody judges her every choice.

Nobody notices when she chooses to eat information instead of food.
Nobody realizes she notices the little glances just barely within her sight
     Or the muffled snickers
     Or the sly comments.

Nobody knows how absolutely aware she is.
Nobody hears her trembling breaths in the bathroom
silenced by the palm of her hand.
Nobody could ever know how hard it is to ignore all of it;
                                              how hard it is to not hate yourself;
                                              how hard it is to hide everything
carefully packaged under the confines of her undershirt.

Nobody can tell that inside those bulging rolls is simply a girl with social anxiety and insecurities beyond mental health.
Nobody sees her bury her feelings in her sparse salads and amaranthine assignments.
Nobody sees her.